Le PLan

The Matchmaker's Masterplan !!

NOOOOOOOOO!!! screamed every cell in Daehyun's body in anguish

Yongguk cupped Daehyun's face to stop the shocked boy from struggling. 

Yongguk finally pulled away, both of them gasping.

Daehyun's eyes looked so fierce and it looked like the water in the pool was receding,  from the heat emanating from his body. Yongguk merely stepped back and smirked at Daehyun with a ' What? You're scared of a kiss? look. 

 Finally..... thought Yongguk It was as good as I expected! It felt....SO GOOD...

Daehyun on the other hand was not a happy boy. Thunder cackled overhead as a sizzling sound emanated from him.. Was that smoke coming from his eyes? But before he could do anything, Yongguk calmly got out of the pool.

" Get out. Or you'll catch a cold. Don't come in or you'll wet my house." he said dissapearing inside.

*Pause*

*Crickets chirp*

" WHAT!!! You OWE me an explanation, a towel, new clothes, food AND MAYBE A RIDE HOME??!!!!" yelled Daehyun, cupping his hands round his mouth

* Creek Creek Creek * 

Came the cricket chirps as if in reply.  

" FINE!!!! BUT YOU GAY BUGGER----"

" Shut up "  came Yongguk's deep voice rudely, as the T.V blared on.

" Ok ok. I'll just go home alone then. BUT DON'T THINK THIS IS OVER!!!Thank god the weathers good " muttered Daehyun, squeezing the water out of his t shirt angrily.

As if on cue it began to rain heavily.

'  Errrrr.... my bloody life. Though why'd he kiss me? ' thought Daehyun, as he made his way out of the gates and into the muddy streets. He gasped and stopped in his tracks.

" I know bloody why!!! Yongguk wants to make his girlfriend jealous and the bloody bugger's using me!! Oh the bloody nerve!" he grumbled.

A car sped by splashing him head to toe, in muddy water. He sighed defeated.

" my bloody life. Justice will be served one bloody day, and I must get my bloody revenge.. and stop saying the word bloody. Gosh I'm a bloody fool " he grumbled and another car splashed him again.

****************************

" Alright. This is the plan. Today is, The Day." said a tall man with blonde hair. 

" It's ready then?" asked a redheaded man, walking to the blonde one and standing beside him near the bridge, overlooking the clear water of the river below 

The blonde man nodded."Today is the day my plan unfolds. Finally I can get my hands on him. And then he will be taught a lesson he'll never forget" he continued smirking.

They waited for a couple to pass by, before the redheaded man spoke again.

" I sense violence" he said glancing at his boss, whose eyes were trained on something far off

" This time, I got him under my thumb. Call the others. We're meeting at 5.00..." replied the blonde man, an evil smile on his lips.

****************************

" ALRIGHT KIDS!!!! HOLD ON FOR FIVE FREAKING MINUTES WILL YA??!!! Oh gods!! Why am I  talking like these freaking bastards..???" gasped the class teacher, hands on cheeks in shock

" HAHAHA!!! WANNABE!!!" screamed a boy, as his friends threw stuff at her.

" WHERE THE FREAKING HECK IS DAEHYUN AND KYUNG...? And where is Himchan and Jongup? And....Yongguk? " asked the teacher blinking around the class.

Silence.

" NAH!! WHO GIVES A ? FIRE!!!!" screamed another boy and began to shoot water at his fellow class mates,  who threw encyclopaedias at him.

" The freaking hell.. What the fu--- What is going on? " muttered the teacher collapsing into her seat in defeat.

" Ah miss. I pity you. It is very infectious, this bad language. That's why I bring a helmet, with wipers to clean the dirt these children throw around."  said Youngjae, pulling out a big helmet,  he pulled it on his head. " It's a bit expensive but a head is much more worth it don't you think?'' 

" WANNABE ASTRONAUT!!! YOU THINK YOU'RE ING ALBERT EINSTEIN??!!!" screamed a purple haired boy, running towards Youngjae, who held his hand up. The boy stopped.

" It's Neil Almstrong." he corrected, putting the helmet back. Then he gave the thumbs up. The purple haired boy shrugged  and began to pull at Youngjae's head, while Youngjae flailed his arms like a bird.

****************************

' Arrgh. Stupid project. Stupid Yongguk. Stupid Chick. Stupid Himchan. Why does my stupid destiny have to be this.... pathetic? What have I done wrong? I just help people in their stupid love life ' sighed Daehyun, as he began his usual lamenting.

He was sitting under a tree behind the school, waiting for the Chick to come. 

' Why am I so gorgeous? How come my parents being unusually, ugly have me? But then again, some people are blessed with brains and brawns... Yet, we are shunned from society, into a small dark corner, where we are burnt, stoned, stabbed, robbed of rightful property... AND SINCE RECENTLY USED FOR BLOODY ADVANTAGES BY BLOODY GAY BUGGERS... It's a hard life. And I should make more money. Right now I'm in the 245th chapter of the very useful book,  How to be rich in a fortnight '.  Can I dance? I should try..' thought Daehyun standing up and bending his knees. He stretched his arms to a side.

" Um.. What are you like...doing? 

Daehyun sighed and turned around to see the chick, giving him the you are such a retard/loser/idiot look.

" What? Take a seat." said Daehyun, flopping down on the ground. The chick rolled her eyes and stood before him arms crossed.

" Well?" she asked

" I'm not very well. I fell into a pool in the middle of the night and I got home at 3.45..---"

" Talk to the hand." said the chick raising her palm and looking away.

" Huh? Why? Lady,  It can't understand " said Daehyun in an equally sarcastic tone. The chick sighed in exasperation.

" Why do I even bother. Now. How's it going?" she asked crisply. Daehyun cleared his throat and pulled out his notebook. He read the points to himself, glancing up at the chick once in a way.

" Right. Yes. He like girls like you. Buy a short small skimpy red dress.... Read books about mind blowing BJs  and read dirty manga. He'll like you more." began Daehyun. 

Silence. 

" WHAT?!!!" yelled the chick.

" Shut up woman. I'm trying to read. And kiss him like his face is candy...and...yeah... He'll fall head over heels for you." 

The chick was red with anger. " I am sick and tired of your games. When that girl told me that you were the best, I believed her. But now....you are awful. I want Yongguk and I mean it!!! I want to be his first kiss, I want to be the apple of his eye, I want to---

Blah blah. Stupid chick. Her facial expressions are priceless

" ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME??!!!" gasped the chick, a hand on her hip. " This is the first time I've met someone who has absolutely no reaction to what I say.." she said more to herself than to Daehyun, who got up and adjusted his backpack strap on his shoulder.

" Well whatever. Just make sure that the second installment is in my bank account,  cause Yongguk is close to you than you think.." said Daehyun yawning bored.

" I hope so too.." said the chick through gritted teeth.

" Hey, have you watched that movie where theres a rabbit called  Peter who can fly  ? " asked the random Daehyun

The chick rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair.

" Don't worry, trust me...and Yongguk will be here any moment...literally " muttered Daehyun scowling and growing angry, as he saw the tall athletic boy, who waved at him. 

" DAEHYUN!!! WAIT! We need to talk!" yelled Yongguk walking towards them. 

" Yeah sure thing. I know what you're upto. You want to take me to an abandoned building, then me..Like in that movie called 'Eyes on You'. I hated and never trusted people since then " grumbled Daehyun,  as he hurried away.

"Um yeah but the victim in it was a girl...." said the confused chic watching Daehyun stomping off.

Yongguk stopped in his tracks when he saw Daehyun dissappearing from his sight.

He's still mad at me ..? Gosh the idiot seems to hold grudges.. But I have to tell him something... I think I... I ...like him...

**********************************

" I'm here" said a burly man joining his friends behind the building. The blonde man and the redheaded man were there along with four other men

" Ah Jo " said the blonde man. 

" I'm not Jo...." growled the burly one

"Today is the day our  plan will unfold" said the blonde man and recieved many ooohs..and ahhhs from the others, except from the burly one and the redhead.

Anyone could sense that the burly one and the blonde man clearly disliked each other. 

" Here he comes. Our victim." hissed the redheaded guy and sure enough,  a grumpy looking boy with a black mask in one hand , and a thick book in the other,  was walking down the road,  a scowl plastered on his face.

" Urgh... He looks an angry one " commented a tall guy. 

" We're gonna follow him to his house and get him.." said the Redhead, chuckling.

" And no one will ever know he's gone " smirked the blonde one. 

 

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Petachi
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Comments

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Dewdropz #1
Chapter 11: I read this story over and over again. Its so funny. I love fiesty daehyun and yongguk and everyone else. One of my favorite stories. ♥ You have written such a great fic. :)
bygjdh #2
Chapter 26: Never get tired of this brutally funny randomly fic
I can say that this is the funniest fanfic that i've ever read and i love it with every little piece of my heart
Usually i dont like Ocs but this fic was the excep, i love the barbarian students (kyung sumin gina ily) the teacher, the janitor, the random boy, dae parents, the monkey huhuhuhuhuhu
damchubiased
#3
Chapter 9: Himchan's answer to the riddle lol
damchubiased
#4
I'm down and stressed. I will read this again to lift up my mood, while I'm waiting for "vindictive people" update.
Your story makes me happy (⌒_⌒)
DumaTrz #5
Chapter 27: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod how didn´t I see this earlier 7u7 You are just.. awesome (more than awesome ;; even) This story is one of the best comedies I´ve read so far. God, I couldn´t stahp laughing all the time, I blame you for that :c
JunYoung1004
#6
Chapter 27: You are awesome ! I spend two whole night with your story and I won't regret it. *crying for no reason* I love it as much I love Zelo. Lol XD
uXknowme
#7
Chapter 27: This story is funny! XD There's no way I didn't laugh!

My favourite part is the splat splat pooping sound in the chapter where Dae hid inside a cubicles X'D VERY HILLARIOUS!
Oh! I have a question! So Dae is really innocent? Till the end?? And at the end he likes Yongguk back right?? Nyahahaha there's mention of but no M rated here
bdz357998 #8
Chapter 26: This was hilarious!!!
proudweirdo
#9
Chapter 26: lol thank god i have read this again after a year. wait.. was it really a year? how could i be unsure :( but ahhh srsly, this is the best story for me. XD i remember i kept re-reading this and i cant stop laughing.. and now.. omfg you really are the best author ;u; the type of story you'll never get bored by re-reading it over and over again. *u*