Chapter 30- Certain Closures

Monkey Love Fishy

 

J POV

            I walked into our dorms, wiping at my tears. I closed my eyes only to have Tom’s stricken face loom in front of me. I forced them open just to avoid seeing his face. Saying goodbye to him was one of the hardest things I had to do. In the five years we were together, I have grown to love him. But obviously not enough. Never enough. I never knew, though, that letting him go could be so painful. Maybe it was the fact that he was one who genuinely loved me. Maybe it was my old affections kicking in, but I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him one last time. I tried to pour in my regret and my apologies as well as enough passion to let him know that I did love him. When I finally left him, I left him crying, and that hurt me the most. I drove home quickly in tears. Right now the one thing I wanted to do was to step into my bed and cry myself to sleep. But the rooms were bright and there was a murmuring in the kitchen.

            “What are you guys all whispering about?” I wiped the tears from my face and tried to look happy.

            They all looked up with guilty as well as grief stricken faces. Yoona stood up and wrapped her arms around me. Tears streaked down her pointed face. “Unni, Donghae-oppa. He’s not well. He overdosed earlier in the day. We couldn’t reach you, and we just went to see him. The doctors said he almost went into cardiac arrest, but he’s recovering. We’re going back tomorrow, Sica. SICA!”

            The words that registered in my mind were “Donghae,” “overdosed” and “cardiac arrest.” A chill shot down my spine and I blanked out. There was an intense pain in my stomach and I gasped, scared that I either miscarried or the baby was severely premature.

            Yoona screamed and grabbed at me, but we both went down. There was panic and I tried to sit back up, only finding myself too weak to do anything but lie on the floor and tried to cooperate with them. Minutes passed before the EMDs came.

            They took my pulse and pressure, before carefully lowering me onto a stretcher. I vaguely felt myself being rolled onto the ambulance and Taeyeon getting on with me. The others members got into their cars and followed. The pain in my stomach was still intense, and I weakly held a hand over my stomach. Kick, please, just kick. Kick me so hard I scream out loud, I whispered to the baby. There was nothing and tears rolled from my clenched eyes.

            The hospital was a bustle of activity. Through my closed eyelids I could feel the passing of the lights overhead. I couldn’t care less about my survival at the moment, I just needed the baby to respond and Donghae to be okay. “Lee Donghae!”  I screamed out. Immediately hands came over my mouth to hush me. I writhed and struggled weakly. I felt a sharp needle jab into my arm and everything went dark.

            I woke up and saw the other members staring down at me. I tried to sit up but Taeyeon pushed me down. “Are you feeling better Jessica?”

            I put a hand to my stomach and felt for the baby. Yuri smiled and said, “You were lucky, the baby just turned around, so it wasn’t much, but next time unni, be careful. You gave us all such heart attacks last night. We were so scared you would lose the baby.”

            I smiled weakly and shook my head. “I’m so sorry, I’m glad the baby’s okay.” I was about to settle back down when I remembered. “DONGHAE! How is he? Is he still in critical condition? I need to see him!”

            Taeyeon pushed me back down. “Don’t worry about it. Yoona and Sooyoung already went over to his room to check. I’m sure he’s fine. We haven’t heard anything about him. Take care of your health first!”

A bitter smile tugged at my lips. I couldn’t take back all the pain I’ve caused people. I couldn’t take back the things I’ve done, but if I lose Donghae, I would lose all that I have ever needed. How could anyone think I would think of myself when there was him in the next room?

Last night, in my unconscious phase, I have reached an epiphany. I wasn’t going to hurt anyone anymore. I would be honest with Tom. I already did tell him that I was engaged, and that we were no longer together. But I left him with a kiss, and I don’t know if he got my message. I shouldn’t have said goodbye to him that way, but I couldn’t help myself, we did have a history after all. I grabbed my phone and proceeded to type a long text to him.

Tom,

We cannot remain friends because feelings will always get in our way. I know you think I was joking, or that there may be a chance for us to be together. But I must assure you, we will never ever be together. We were not meant to be. Please forget about me. I demand it of you. If you love me at all, you won’t talk to me ever and you won’t ever try to contact me. I want you to delete me from everywhere. If you contact me once more, I’m going to report you to the police. This is good bye.

Jessica

I winced at the coldness of my words, but dismissed it. What has to be done will be done.

E POV

            The next morning I was gently pushed awake. Groggily, I picked up my head and looked around. The Super Junior members smiled at me and Ryeowook pushed me out of the room. “Eunhyukkie, you need to eat. You’ve sat the entire night out here, you need to eat. You also need a proper bed.”

            I looked at our caring member and shook my head in earnest protest. He gave me his sternest look and dragged me to the elevator. “Now, Hyuk Jae.” I startled at his use of words and walked with him. Under his watchful eye, I managed to have rice with eggs. When I was done, he nodded his satisfaction and we walked back to Donghae’s room.

            When we got back, Yoona and Sooyoung were there as well. I winced when Sooyoung walked over to me and gave me a hug. My arms enveloped her, but my heart was screaming let go. She held my hand and led me to look down at Hae. His eyes twitched and we all leaned forward to see if there was going to be any reactions. Instead, there was nothing. We stood there watching him until the doctor led us all out.

            I led Sooyoung down the stairs and into an isolated hallway. “Oppa, I’m glad Donghae-oppa is okay,” she smiled bravely at me.

            I couldn’t return her smile. I picked up her hands and held them in my own. “Sooyoung, I have to say something to you. We can’t be together anymore. And this is the ultimate cliché, but it’s not you. It’s me.”

            I watched her intently, waiting for a reaction. But she stood defeated and nodded. My heart broke at the way this pure girl took my rejection. “It’s because, I can’t lie to you. It’s because of Donghae. Sooyoung, I love him. He makes my heart feel at home, he’s why I wake up every morning. I thought that since he was getting married, I should let him go. And you were there. I didn’t want to use you, but I think I did fall in love with you. If not a lot, then definitely a little bit. I fell in love with your pure heart, Soo.”

            I wrapped her in a hug. “But, this whole incident with Donghae, I realized I need to be with him. I realized I can’t avoid him. Even when he,” my voice cracked, and Sooyoung cried harder. “Even when he gets married, I will always be there for him. Maybe in time, I’ll get over him and I will be able to start again.”

            She cupped my face in her hands. “Oppa, I love you. I will never forget you. But we can remain friends. Oppa, I understand your feelings now, and I support you always. Hwaiting~” she hugged me and wiped away at my tears.

            We walked back hand in hand and I was privileged to have this loving girl next to me, supporting me as a friend. 

 

I want to thank you for traveling on this journey with me. I look over my plans and I realized, this drama is almost done. The drama's almost over, the curtain's going to fall. There are only a handful of chapters left. Then I move on to the sequel. Thank you for being so patient through it all <3 Saranghae~

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Comments

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MissQhuay
#1
Chapter 40: Just found your story and read it in one go. Good plot tho, but SNSD is way too annoying, I can't stand it ? But still, thanks for sharing!
Baegoppahansam #2
Chapter 40: You have a good story here!! Thank you so much!!♥♥♥♥
Ice_siri #3
Chapter 40: This story is really really good...thanks for sharing. ..♡♥♡♥
Starlight_21 #4
Chapter 40: Really good story. All those emotional roller coasters! D: So, happy Eunhae ended up together! <3
Yukiharu86
#5
Chapter 39: WOOOOOAAAHHHHHH :D this is story very beautiful~~~
I love this story^^
I really enjoy when I read ^^
Oh I'm forget!!! hii I'm new reader thanks for this story
this is great and amaaaazzzzzing ^^~~~ I love it
haehyukkkum
#6
Chapter 19: What wrong with her?
Just let them alone
FoolFool149 #7
Chapter 39: Ermagherd. I will never look at Eunhae in the same way again. Just. Plain. Ermagherd.
nahyukhaegi #8
Chapter 40: Nice fic! B-but the drama is too much for me;~~~~~;
But it's still good! Just lemme punch jess once for whats she doing to our eunhae ^^
Anyway, new reader here, nice to meet you ;)
kindie
#9
nice fic~!
eunnahaela
#10
love the ending but hate the drama
hehe
going to read the sequel
~~~whhoooshhh~~~~