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Kim Jongdae > Kim Minseok: Why don’t you accept my freaking request?!

Kim Jongin and Byun Baekhyun likes this.

Kim Minseok: What are you talking about ChenChen?

Kim Jongdae: You know damn well what I’m talking about!

Kim Minseok: Not a clue. By the way, have you done the dishes yet?

Kim Jongdae: No, isn’t that the maknae’s job?

Kim Minseok: Remember you switched him so you didn’t have to do the laundry?

Huang Zitao: Which, by the way, sucks! I’m never switching with you again. I prefer dishes.

Kim Jongdae: you then Zitao.

Wu Yifan: Oi! Don’t talk to him like that. What kind of evil being are you?

Kim Minseok: Yeah! Don’t be so evil Chen ¬¬.

Huang Zitao: Not one, but TWO protectors? NICE!

Kim Jongdae: HEY! Xiumin you changed the subject!

Kim Minseok: I know.

Kim Jongdae: Can we please talk about the request again?

Kim Minseok: What. Freaking. Request?

Kim Jongdae: You realise nothing is official unless stated on Facebook right?

Kim Minseok: Where the hell did you come up with that idea?

Kim Jongdae: The Facebook thing?

Kim Minseok: Yeah. Are you talking about your relationship request on this?

Kim Jongdae: FINALLY.

Kim Minseok: Oh… didn’t even realise I had one. One second baby.

Kim Jongdae: Damn right.

Huang Zitao: So all this time, you guys weren’t even together?

Wu Yifan: Know what that is called ChenChen?

Huang Zitao: –

Wu Yifan: BUDDIES.

Kim Jongdae: Shut up Taoris.


Kim Minseok is in a relationship with Kim Jongdae.

Kim Jongdae, Huang Zitao and 7 others like this.

Huang Zitao: Congrats! You are no longer buddies! Glad you could work it out.

Wu Yifan: I agree! Congratulations.

Kim Jongin: …A bit late?

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah, but, congrats again and all.

Zhang Yixing: You guys were having , but not yet in a relationship?

Byun Baekhyun: s.

Park Chanyeol: Don’t say that Baekkie!

Byun Baekhyun: Why not?

Park Chanyeol: Cause it’s rude.

Kim Jongdae: Shut the up guys! And thanks Chanyeol.

Park Chanyeol: (We don’t need to say it out loud okay? Just think it.)

Kim Jongdae: I hate you.

Oh Sehun: Guys, have you seen Lu Han anywhere?

Do Kyungsoo: My daughter is missing?!

Kim Jongin: Wait, what?

Oh Sehun: Kyungsoo… were you just talking about Lu Han?

Do Kyungsoo: Of course! I adopted him. So now, he is my daughter.

Byun Baekhyun: Do you even realise how wrong that sentence is?

Do Kyungsoo: I don’t see a problem. Now, where is he?

Oh Sehun: That’s what I asked you!

Kim Minseok: I saw him running around this morning, but then he left the dorm.

Wu Yifan: He just came in the door.

Oh Sehun: GOOD.

Huang Zitao: Yifan gege?

Wu Yifan: Yes Zitao?

Huang Zitao: I love you. Come here.

Kim Jongdae: And our status just got much more interesting!

Wu Yifan: I’ll be right there.


Lu Han: Um guys… I have a very awkward question to ask everyone…

Huang Zitao likes this.

Huang Zitao: What is it?

Byun Baekhyun: Yeah, baby Lu Han, what is on your mind?

Oh Sehun: Lulu, what’s wrong?

Wu Yifan: What the hell is a ‘Lulu’?

Oh Sehun: My nickname for Lu Han… duh!

Kim Jongin: First he’s Kyungsoo’s adopted daughter, now he has a female name.

Do Kyungsoo: Kai… remember that time when you proposed and we supposedly got married?

Kim Jongin: Of course Wifey ;)

Do Kyungsoo: That means Lu Han is your daughter too.

Kim Jongin: …


Do Kyungsoo: Damn, you being over-protective is really .

Oh Sehun: Kai, shut your ing mouth.

Kim Jongin: Or what? Keep your neglected, unexperienced and incredibly short away from Lu Han’s . (Not that it could even be called , with it being unnaturally short and all.)

Do Kyungsoo: Okay hunni, I think that’s enough for now. Come to my room and get a back massage?

Kim Jongin: *calms down* Yes sweetie.

Oh Sehun: …

Wu Yifan: Well, that’s you told huh?


Do Kyungsoo: Still here baba.

Kim Jongin: I’ll always be here for you Lu Han.

Kim Jongdae: Get to it already Lu Han.

Lu Han: Okay… my toys, they are all missing. And I was wondering if you guys took them.

Kim Minseok: …We aren’t talking about the cuddly type of toys are we?

Park Chanyeol: You have toys Lu Han?

Byun Baekhyun: Safe to say my boyfriend didn’t steal them. FYI, neither did I.


Kim Jongin: Nor me, I would never do that to my children.

Do Kyungsoo: Yup, I’ll help you find them sweetheart.

Lu Han: Thanks Umma! I love chu~

Do Kyungsoo: I love you too~

Zhang Yixing: After losing a few brain cells while reading this status, I have decided that I didn’t steal them either. Who would? It would have your… bodily fluids all over them. Gross.

Kim Minseok: So, no one took them then?

Lu Han: Someone had to!

Oh Sehun: And they better give them back right away!

Kim Jongdae: I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but there is two people who haven’t commented yet…

Kim Jongin: Oh yeah, neither they have.

Byun Baekhyun: Dirty boys, eh?

Lu Han: Who?!

Oh Sehun: Lulu, neither Suho nor Kris has contributed to this chat yet.

Lu Han: Oh. So they took them then?!

Zhang Yixing: They better not have!

Huang Zitao: Why do I have a weird feeling in my stomach now?

Oh Sehun: Because if they did steal them, who do you think they are going to use them on?

Zhang Yixing: .

Huang Zitao: .


Byun Baekhyun > Park Chanyeol: So, I was searching around the internet, and I came across something very interesting, it included you, Kai and me.

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: Oh! I’m involved?

Park Chanyeol: What is it?

Byun Baekhyun: I believe it’s called a fanfic.

Kim Jongin: That doesn’t sound good.

Byun Baekhyun: You know, a fan-made story?

Kim Jongin: I know what a fanfic is genius. I was talking about it including us three.

Park Chanyeol: What was it about Baekkie?

Byun Baekhyun: Well, I was Kai’s step brother.

Park Chanyeol: And I was your boyfriend right?!

Byun Baekhyun: No… you were Kai’s boyfriend.

Kim Jongin: Oh dear. Please, do not continue.

Park Chanyeol: No! Quickly, sum it up!

Byun Baekhyun: Know what – here’s the link. Go and read it, then you can share my utter disturbness. (And yes, I know that isn’t a word.)

Kim Jongin: You mean, ‘You can then be as disturbed as I am’? Jeez, didn’t you go to school?

Park Chanyeol: You never posted a link ¬¬.

Byun Baekhyun: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/210872/new-family-one-shot---exo-kai-baekhyun-chanyeol-baekyeol

Kim Jongin: AWAY TO READ.

Park Chanyeol: BRB.


Zhang Yixing > Huang Zitao: How was your night?

Kim Joonmyun and Wu Yifan likes this.

Huang Zitao: I don’t want to talk about it.

Zhang Yixing: Just know, you are not alone.

Huang Zitao: That doesn’t make me feel any better.


Lu Han: It’s all okay guys! I got my toys back :3!

Kim Jongdae likes this.

Kim Jongdae: Good! Can I borrow them?

Kim Minseok: Did you wash them Lu Han?

Lu Han: Why?

Kim Jongdae: Because I want them!

Kim Minseok: Because they were probably used!

Lu Han: Oh. No you can’t have them. And I’ll wash them right now.

Do Kyungsoo: Why do you need to wash them sweetheart? It’s not like you have anyone to use them with.

Lu Han: I have Sehun, remember Umma?

Kim Jongin: Sehun? I’ve never heard of him.

Do Kyungsoo: Sounds familiar… but no. I don’t know him.

Lu Han: Appa… Umma… what have you done to Sehun?

Kim Jongin: Thrown him somewhere that he can’t touch the innocent you again.

Kim Jongdae: Just remember guys, it was Lu Han who made the tape, not Sehun. It’s Lu Han who tops, not Sehun. Its Lu Han’s toys, not Sehun’s. You should get your priorities straight.

Lu Han: End of conversation.


Wu Yifan: Grr~ I’m an angry dragon. GRRRRR~!

Huang Zitao likes this.

Zhang Yixing: Um, okay?

Kim Joonmyun: Good for you. Good for you.

Kim Jongin: At least he finally admitted it.

Wu Yifan: Of course I did. I’m a big adorable fat dragon. RAWR. (Means I love you in dragon language. Or was it dinosaur? I don’t know… its dragon now.)

Zhang Yixing: Well… there you go.

Kim Jongdae: Finally loosening up.

Lu Han: D’awww! Rawr.

Oh Sehun: I love you too baby.

Do Kyungsoo: He really doesn’t Lu Han. HE’S A LIAR.

Kim Jongin: Baby, can we have ?

Do Kyungsoo: Why?

Kim Jongin: Because I love you.

Do Kyungsoo: That it?

Kim Jongin: And because I’m .

Wu Yifan: The RAWR dragon accepts your relationship!

Kim Joonmyun: That totally made Kaisoo’s relationship much better!

Park Chanyeol: Kris is being unnaturally cute today!

Byun Baekhyun: It’s not Kris.

Kim Minseok: Huh?

Byun Baekhyun: Kris is out shopping. Remember? For groceries?

Kim Jongdae: Oh yeah.

Kim Joonmyun: Then who is it?

Wu Yifan: It is my most awesomest, handsomest, most beautifulest and iest boyfriend ever!

Park Chanyeol: Hey Tao!

Wu Yifan: Wassup!

Byun Baekhyun: Well, there’s another mystery solved. OFF TO THE BATMOBILE.

Park Chanyeol: You silly cookie. Batman doesn’t solve mysteries. It’s Scooby-doo who does that.

Byun Baekhyun: This is why I won’t marry you.


Kim Jongin: I think I’m actually in the mood for a now.

Kim Jongdae, Wu Yifan and Kim Joonmyun likes this.

Wu Yifan: With who exactly?

Kim Minseok: Gross.

Byun Baekhyun: No.

Park Chanyeol: …I kinda agree with Kai on this.

Byun Baekhyun: No.

Kim Jongin: Why not!? It’s your fault for letting me read that ¬¬.

Park Chanyeol: And the sequel was awesome too!

Kim Jongin: Right? RIGHT?!

Byun Baekhyun: You know this counts as cheating, right Kai?

Kim Jongin: He doesn’t have to know. ;)

Do Kyungsoo: Shouldn’t have put it on Facebook then .


Do Kyungsoo > Kim Jongin: Baby, I’ve got something for you ;).

Kim Jongin: Q_Q

Do Kyungsoo: Do you want it?

Kim Jongin: O_O

Do Kyungsoo: Come get it.

Kim Jongin: V_V

Do Kyungsoo: Kai~

Kim Jongin: -__-‘

Do Kyungsoo: you.

Kim Jongin: :O

Do Kyungsoo: Why am I dating you again?

Kim Jongin ;D

Do Kyungsoo: Whatever. You’re not getting the present anymore.

Kim Jongin: :’(!


Park Chanyeol: Has anyone else realised all we talk about is on this?

Kim Heechul: Trust me, we’ve realised.

Lee Taemin: In fact, it’s incredibly annoying.

Kim Kibum: I find it enlightening.

Kim Junsu: You guys are worse than us.

Kim Jongdae: Why have you guys all suddenly returned?

Huang Zitao: They need a few tips on their lives.

Wu Yifan: Don’t be giving out any of our secrets panda.

Huang Zitao: Yes master… I mean Kris!

Kim Heechul: That’s gross. You guys like S&M?

Huang Zitao: I am sworn to secrecy.

Lee Taemin: Ewwwwww.

Park Chanyeol: Oh shut up Taemin. I know you’re banging your bandmate.

Kim Jongdae: Damn!

Kim Junsu: Seriously though, how did you guys learn of this stuff?

Wu Yifan: We practiced.

Park Chanyeol: This is what I mean. !

Byun Baekhyun: I’m there baby!


Kim Jongin: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Do Kyungsoo likes this.

Lu Han: Jongin! Are you alright?!

Oh Sehun: Hey, baby ;).

Lu Han: Sehunnie~! Why aren’t you with me right now?!

Oh Sehun: I’m at rehearsal… remember?

Lu Han: Oh yeah. I’ll just pretend my teddy bear is you.

Oh Sehun: Okay (:.

Kim Jongin: I’m not okay guys. It hurts.

Lu Han: What hurts?! ARE YOU DYING?!

Kim Jongin: I think so.

Lu Han: OH NO. This can’t be happening.

Oh Sehun: I know right? Think about how much the funeral would cost.

Kim Jongin: Gee. I can feel the love bouncing off of you Sehun.

Lu Han: Who did this to you?!

Kim Jongin: Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo did this to me.

Oh Sehun: He’s paying for the coffin. And you’re not getting a band.

Lu Han: Kyungie did this to you?!

Kim Jongin: Okay, not Kyungsoo.

Lu Han: I thought it sounded weird.

Kim Jongin: It was D.O.

Lu Han: Okay, that sounded even weirder.

Oh Sehun: So… D.O is paying for the coffin? Or is it Kyungsoo. Silly me, thinking they were the same person.

Kim Jongin: They are not.

Lu Han: How so?

Kim Jongin: Kyungsoo is the most wonderful and kindest and adorable person I’ve ever met.

Oh Sehun: Sounds okay so far.

Kim Jongin: D.O is a crazy, beast who doesn’t take no for an answer.

Lu Han: …

Oh Sehun: …


Kim Jongin: What?!

Do Kyungsoo: Kai~ Come to bed. It’s so late.

Kim Jongin: I’m still suffering from last night!

Do Kyungsoo: Come to bed baby, I want to snuggle.

Oh Sehun: I never thought of you as the cuddling type Jongin.

Oh Sehun: Or is Kai the cuddling type?


Oh Sehun: Shh baby. Just ignore them.

Lu Han: But, D.O Jongin!

Do Kyungsoo: I did what?

Kim Jongin: Lu Han, leave the conversation, now.

Oh Sehun: Don’t tell him what to do. Just run along to your so-called crazed boyfriend and have fun with his up your .

Lu Han: Oh my god Sehun. Don’t be so blunt!

Do Kyungsoo: That’s gross Sehun. I’m telling leader.

Kim Jongin: I hate you Sehun.

Oh Sehun: Oh come on! It was a joke!

Kim Joonmyun: You’re grounded.

Oh Sehun: What does that even mean?

Kim Joonmyun: It means no for a week. No Lu Han for a week. Oh, and no chocolate for two weeks.

Oh Sehun: You can’t do this to me.

Kim Joonmyun: Watch me.

Lu Han: Sorry baby, need to follow his orders.

Oh Sehun: D:!

Do Kyungsoo: Kai… you’re still not here with me.

Kim Jongin: C-Coming!


(P.S, i know, i advertised my other fic... SUE ME ! XD)



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TaoTop #2
Chapter 13: This story literally made my week! Thank you for writing it!
Dreamer_Oppa18 #3
Loved this story. It had me laughing the whole time I read it xD
ashmk113 #4
Chapter 12: This is my D.O is my bias. Hardcore Supernatural fan right here! Although I'm sure he has no idea what the show is, but the coincidence in this is uncanny lol
ashmk113 #5
Chapter 5: Shameless promotion lol Love it
saico_yeoja #6
Chapter 10: i was confused about " ", so i google searched it and "ah~ i got it now!"
ankimanika #7
Chapter 10: Wkwkwkw I always laugh loudly whenever I read chen comment or status. Kekeke

This is hillarious. Loove this. ;)
love_jungdok #8
Chapter 7: Kim Jongin > Do Kyungsoo: My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on.
Kim Jongdae, Byun Baekhyun and Wu Yifan likes this.
Do Kyungsoo: Um, no… I do.
Kim Jongin: Oh, you do?
Do Kyungsoo: Um, yes.
Kim Jongin: Well, it must be ten minutes fast then.
Do Kyungsoo: …
Kim Jongin: …
Do Kyungsoo: …
Kim Jongin: …
Do Kyungsoo: My room. Now.
Kim Jongin: :D!

I can't believe that worked.
love_jungdok #9
Chapter 6: BAP YASSS omg
love_jungdok #10
Chapter 6: Huang Zitao is in a relationship with Wu Yifan.
Park Chanyeol likes this.
Kim Jongin: Whatever man.
Kim Joonmyun: Stay this way.

*Katy Perry's Hot n Cold plays in the bg*
love_jungdok #11
Chapter 6: Park Chanyeol is engaged to Byun Baekhyun.
Lu Han, Kim Joonmyun and 5 others like this.
Lu Han: NO WAY.