Zhang Yixing: Officially leaving Exo. Goodbye Cruel World.

Kim Jongdae likes this.

Kim Jongdae: Bye!

Kim Minseok: See ya!

Kim Joonmyun: Nuu! Why?!

Lu Han: So… many… Kims…

Kim Jongin: Let me add to that.

Oh Sehun: Back to the issue at hand – why are you leaving Lay?

Zhang Yixing: Because I can’t stand yous anymore.

Kim Minseok: That’s a bit harsh – what did we do?

Kim Joonmyun: Lay, you can’t leave.

Zhang Yixing: Ask Lu Han.

Oh Sehun: Babe, what did you do?

Lu Han: Not a thing.

Kim Minseok: He’s definitely lying.

Zhang Yixing: He’s blackmailing me.

Lu Han: YA! DON’T SAY THAT!

Kim Joonmyun: You’re blackmailing him? With what?

Zhang Yixing: …It’s too embarrassing.

Oh Sehun: *Psst* Lu Han, show me later…

Kim Joonmyun: So; why exactly are you blackmailing him?

Lu Han: You’ll find out later. And Sehun? I can’t ):

Oh Sehun: Aw, babe D:

Zhang Yixing: I’m still leaving. So that Lu Han can’t get to me no more.

Lee Sunghwan: Lay, you can’t leave, you’re still under contract. So unless you want to go through a lot of paper work and attend court; you’re staying in Exo.

Kim Jongdae: When did you get a Facebook Manager?

Lee Sunghwan: Ages ago; I’ve had you as a friend for a long time Chen.

Lu Han: Haha Lay, you’re not getting out of this one.

Zhang Yixing: Screw you all.

 

Kim Jongin: Damn, I’ve just had the best night of my life <3! :3

Kim Jongdae likes this.

Wu Yifan: Do I even want to know. No, scratch that. Does Facebook NEED to know?

Kim Jongdae: Kris, stop being the party pooper.

Wu Yifan: What, so you want to hear about his life?

Kim Jongin: What makes you think it’s about my life exactly?!

Huang Zitao: When is, whatever you say, NOT about your life?

Wu Yifan: Exactly.

Kim Jongdae: What if I DO want to hear it?

Do Kyungsoo: Better damn well not be about your life. Cause if it is, you don’t have one anymore.

Kim Jongin: It is not! GOD!

Oh Sehun: Then please, explain.

Wu Yifan: Yes, please do.

Kim Jongin: Actually, when I got in from work, there was a bunch of rose petals leading to a warm bubble bath where Kyungsoo was waiting in ; holding a single rose and beside him was a bucket of ice with a champagne bottle in it, and two glasses. When I got in, he gave me the best back rub of my life, and then carried me to our bed and let me fall asleep in his arms.

Huang Zitao: Oh my…

Kim Jongdae: Woah…

Wu Yifan: That shut me up…

Do Kyungsoo: Kai…

Kim Jongin: Yes honey?

Do Kyungsoo: That never happened.

Kim Jongin: …FINE. The status was about the .

Wu Yifan: HAH! Knew it.

 

Lu Han: Plan worked ^O^!~ :D!

Oh Sehun: What did you do?

Lu Han: You’ll see ;)

Huang Zitao: I’ve got a feeling two members are about to announce their relationship online.

Lu Han: You know me to well Panda~

Wu Yifan: Don’t. Call. Him. That.

Lu Han: Why not? He is, after all, my Panda cub~

Huang Zitao: Lu Han…

 

Zhang Yixing is now in a relationship with Kim Joonmyun.

Oh Sehun, Lu Han and 9 others like this.

Lu Han: Woooo! I definitely have a talent for this!

Wu Yifan: Damn.

Kim Jongin: Got you too, huh?

Huang Zitao: I think it’s dead cute!

Park Chanyeol: I’m away from Facebook for only one week; and this happens?!

Zhang Yixing: …

Do Kyungsoo: Something wrong Lay?

Kim Joonmyun: Lay, we should talk about this.

Wu Yifan: Already having problems?

Oh Sehun: Well, this was technically brought about by blackmail.

Huang Zitao: Oh, yeah!

Zhang Yixing: I’m coming to your room now Suho.

Kim Jongin: Oaft ;D

Do Kyungsoo: Kai… Do you have to be like that 24/7?

Kim Jongin: Yes.

 

Wu Yifan > Oh Sehun: Your boyfriend made a tape of you two.

Oh Sehun: WHAT!?

Wu Yifan: Yup.

Oh Sehun: How do you know?

Wu Yifan: I was rummaging through some of his stuff to find something he borrowed, and I found the tape.

Oh Sehun: …Did you watch it?

Wu Yifan: Nope.

Oh Sehun: Then how do you know.

Wu Yifan: I think the title ‘Sehun baby’s and my godly tape’ made it clear what it was.

Oh Sehun: That …

Lu Han: WOAH! What the hell Kris?!

Wu Yifan: What?

Oh Sehun: I can’t believe you.

Lu Han: Sehunnie~!

Oh Sehun: Save it.

 

Oh Sehun is now single.

Wu Yifan likes this.

Lu Han: What the hell?!

Wu Yifan: Aha.

Lu Han: Kris!! Why the hell would you say that?!

Wu Yifan: It’s payback .

Lu Han: For what?!

Wu Yifan: For calling Tao ‘Panda Cub’.

Lu Han: …

Lu Han: …

Lu Han: Seriously?

Wu Yifan: Definitely.

Lu Han: That’s… really mean ):

Wu Yifan: You’re right. I’m sorry.

Lu Han: You separated us.

Wu Yifan: I’ll fix this.

Lu Han: You better.

 

Wu Yifan > Oh Sehun: I’m sorry. I made the whole thing up to get payback.

Lu Han likes this.

Oh Sehun: You did?

Wu Yifan: Yes.

Oh Sehun: So, it was just payback?

Wu Yifan: Yes. I’m sorry.

Oh Sehun: Oh…

Lu Han: Thanks Kris ^O^

Wu Yifan: You’re welcome.

Lu Han: Good ^^

Oh Sehun: So there is no tape?

Wu Yifan: Nope.

Lu Han: Actually, yes, there is.

Oh Sehun: WHAT?!

Wu Yifan: Then why the hell did you shout at me for saying there was one when there actually is?!

Lu Han: BECAUSE YOU RUINED HIS BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!

 

Kim Jongdae: I feel so left out. You know; as the lead singer of Exo-M, I deserve some attention.

Kim Minseok and Park Chanyeol likes this.

Kim Minseok: Aww, Chennie~ Why?

Park Chanyeol: You do get attention.

Kim Jongdae: Baozi, you should be feeling the same :’( Chanyeol, go away.

Kim Minseok: Well, I don’t.

Kim Jongdae: Have you been bothered by Lu Han lately?

Kim Minseok: Nope :D!

Kim Jongdae: There’s your problem.

Park Chanyeol: Ah, I get it! FINALLY, I GET SOMETHING!

Kim Minseok: Wow. Well done. But seriously. What are you going on about Chen?

Kim Jongdae: That’s it.

Kim Minseok: What?

Kim Minseok: Chen?

Kim Minseok: GODDAMMIT.

Lu Han: Now you know how I feel.

 

Park Chanyeol: I MISS BAEKHYUNNIE~!!!

Huang Zitao likes this.

Kim Jongin: He’ll be back soon.

Park Chanyeol: Or maybe he’s NEVER coming back.

Huang Zitao: Of course he’ll come back.

Kim Jongin: He’s just being stupid Tao.

Oh Sehun: Or, he’s right, and Baekhyun’s already ditched us.

Park Chanyeol: Oh god. He dumped me!!

Kim Jongin: God, please spare me from their stupidity.

Do Kyungsoo: I hope by God, you mean me.

Kim Jongin: ...

Huang Zitao: I think that was… a invite.

Kim Jongin: I was thinking that. But it’s Kyungsoo.

Do Kyungsoo: Just come here Kai.

Kim Jongin: *SPEEDS OFF; RIPPING CLOTHES OFF WHILE DOING SO*

Park Chanyeol: Does he manage to make every conversation a ual one? What about my Baekhyunnie?

Huang Zitao: He’ll be back soon.

Park Chanyeol: But HOW soon? I can’t live like this much anymore!

Huang Zitao: I don’t know, but trust him.

Park Chanyeol: Okay ):

 

Kim Joonmyun: Personally, I think my life is now complete.

Zhang Yixing and Lu Han likes this.

Kim Minseok: GAY.

Zhang Yixing: Well naw!

Zhang Yixing: But yeah Suho, that was pretty gay.

Kim Joonmyun: Lay! That was mean ):

Zhang Yixing: Sorry baby.

Kim Jongdae: *SIGH*

Lu Han: What’s wrong Chen?

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah, stop making my status depressing please.

Kim Jongdae: I want to be in love too.

Park Chanyeol: You know, I think I’ve finally found out the meaning of cheesy words.

Lu Han: Oh, I see. I’ll get back to you Chen, my dear.

Kim Minseok: Chen, I didn’t know you had a thing for me.

Kim Jongdae: I don’t!... yet.

Kim Minseok: .

 

Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: Why have you left me?

Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: I miss you so much D:

Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: I’m wondering, have you found someone else over in Japan?

Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: I hope you come back soon.

Kim Joonmyun > Park Chanyeol: Stop. With the ing. Depressing. Statements. Or I swear to God. I WILL HAVE ON YOUR BED WITH YOU ON IT.

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: I had no idea you had that sort of talk in you.

Wu Yifan: And you shouted at me and Panda for having in your bed?

Huang Zitao: I agree.

Kim Joonmyun: I’m just annoyed. That’s all.

Park Chanyeol: That’s disgusting leader. What kind of example are you setting?

Wu Yifan: Haha…

Kim Joonmyun: Whatever. But stop with the depressing messages to Baekhyun will ya?

Kim Jongin: He’s right. It’s making us all bothered.

Huang Zitao: Yeah, I kinda agree. It’s ruining the mood.

Wu Yifan: Definitely. Stop it.

Park Chanyeol: This is bullying! ): Can’t I miss my boyfriend?

Kim Minseok: No.

Byun Baekhyun: Stop picking on my baby.

Park Chanyeol: BAEKIEE!!!!

 

Park Chanyeol: Off to bed with my one and only – the first night together in two weeks ^O^

Byun Baekhyun likes this.

Byun Baekhyun: Damn, I should leave more often.

Park Chanyeol: Nuu! Don’t ever leave me again!

Byun Baekhyun: Okay, darling.

 

Kim Minseok > Lu Han: What the hell did you do to Chen?

Lu Han: What do you mean?

Kim Minseok: You know exactly what I mean.

Lu Han: Don’t have a clue. You know; every single little thing that happens – I get the blame for.

Kim Minseok: I don’t think Chen, coming into my room, trying to me is little!

Lu Han: Oh! That…

Kim Minseok: ‘That’?

Lu Han: It’s not really a big thing.

Kim Minseok: It’s a ing big thing when my best friend tries to get in my pants.

Lu Han: OR! Maybe it’s a great thing!

Kim Minseok: No, it’s not.

Lu Han: Wait… did you reject him?

Kim Minseok: Lu Han…

Lu Han: Oh my god… my plan actually failed.

Kim Minseok: So you did plan this.

Lu Han: Not really.

Kim Minseok: What the hell does that even mean?

Lu Han: It was half Chen’s idea.

Kim Minseok: Whatever.

Lu Han: I still can’t believe it failed.

 

Lu Han > Kim Jongdae: I’m sorry it failed.

Kim Jongdae and Kim Minseok likes this.

Kim Jongdae: What are you talking about?

Lu Han: I’m sorry it didn’t work. But you can always try again.

Kim Jongdae: Try what again?

Lu Han: You know, jumping Xiumin.

Kim Jongdae: Why would I need to try it again?

Lu Han: Cause you failed first time?

Kim Jongdae: No I didn’t.

Lu Han: What? But, Xiumin said you guys didn’t do it.

Kim Minseok: Never said such a thing.

Lu Han: But…

Kim Jongdae: Thanks Lu Han.

Kim Minseok: Yeah buddy.

Lu Han: So you guys… are in a relationship now.

Kim Jongdae: YUP!

Kim Minseok: NOPE!

Kim Jongdae: WHY?

Kim Minseok: Having does not mean we are dating.

Kim Jongdae: Oh… isn’t that how everyone started dating?

Kim Minseok: I don’t want to be like that.

Kim Jongdae: So… Wanna date?

Kim Minseok: No.

Lu Han: I tried.

 

Byun Baekhyun: All of Exo are now dating!!!! *TAGS ALL OF EXO*

Kim Jongin, Do Kyungsoo and 10 others like this.

Kim Jongin: YAY!

Kim Minseok: Not my idea.

Oh Sehun: Wow, what a band we are.

Park Chanyeol: Yeah baby! We can have a LARGE couple date!

Kim Joonmyun: For some reason, I think I’ll pass.

Zhang Yixing: You know what? Me too.

Kim Jongdae: yeah!

Lu Han: All thanks to ME!

Huang Zitao: Well, not ALL thanks to you. Kris and I got together on our own.

Wu Yifan: Exactly, we did the work ourselves.

Kim Jongin: Hell, I’m just glad we only have each other on this.

Park Chanyeol: Oh my god, yeah! Imagine if we had other idols or FANS on this?!

Byun Baekhyun: Hah. That would have been funny.

Do Kyungsoo: I’m so sorry guys.

Wu Yifan: Why?

Huang Zitao: Why hyung?

Do Kyungsoo: I have every artist from SM entertainment as my friends… and you tagged me.

Do Kyungsoo: They can all see this post.

Kim Joonmyun: …

Byun Baekhyun: …

Wu Yifan: …

Huang Zitao: …

Do Kyungsoo: …

Park Chanyeol: …

Kim Jongin: …

Lu Han: …

Oh Sehun: …

Kim Jongdae: …

Kim Minseok: …

Lee Sunghwan: …

Do Kyungsoo: I’m so sorry.

Heechul: Well guys… Guess what I’m spreading around? ;D

 

 

 

A/N: There will probabyl be another part ^O^