Logging In...


Park Chanyeol: It’s been so long. I feel like I owe you. I’m so sorry Facebook, I’m so sorry…

Kim Jongin, Byun Baekhyun and 3 others likes this.

Byun Baekhyun: Oh yeah, forgot about this.

Kim Jongin: That’s what we get for being amazing and super popular idols.

Wu Yifan: At least there are no stupid conversations anymore.

Huang Zitao: Yeah but now Chanyeol’s said this, I feel I’ve been neglecting it too.

Wu Yifan: No.

Huang Zitao: Oh yes. Facebook? EXO IS BACK.

Park Chanyeol: YEAHHHHHHHHH!



Lu Han > Oh Sehun: Shall I pick you up at eight my dear?

Oh Sehun likes this.

Oh Sehun: What are you talking about?

Lu Han: I’m talking about the date I’m taking you out on tonight.

Oh Sehun: Have you forgotten you’re in China at the moment whilst I’m in an entirely different country?

Kim Jongdae: Did no one tell you we’re heading back this afternoon?

Oh Sehun: No… they didn’t…


Kim Jongdae: Oh well! Yeah, we should be there around seven pm tonight by the way!”

Lu Han: Chen, seriously? >:(

Oh Sehun: Oh okay…

Kim Minseok: Jongdae, get out of this conversation and let Lu Han ask Sehun out, okay?

Kim Jongdae: Geez, fine.

Lu Han: Anyway… can you pretend it was a surprise that I’m coming back tonight?

Oh Sehun: I guess so.

Lu Han: Great! I better see a surprised expression.

Oh Sehun: I will try my best!




Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol and Kim Minseok likes this.

Park Chanyeol: What is it?!?!?!?!

Kim Jongin: …

Park Chanyeol: Kai!

Byun Baekhyun: Do not feed his need for attention baby.

Kim Jongin: Excuse moi?!

Kim Minseok: Heh. Just pictured you speaking in a horrible French accident. Because you suck.

Kim Jongin: You know what?

Kim Minseok: What?

Kim Jongin: Boop.

Park Chanyeol: Can we get back to this announcement?

Kim Jongin: Kyunggie is cooking and I thought you all should know.

Park Chanyeol: That was it

Kim Jongin: Yup!

Park Chanyeol: Wow. .

Kim Jongin: Go suck Baekhyun’s.

Park Chanyeol: Will do.



Huang Zitao > Wu Yifan: Hey Big guy.

Wu Yifan: ‘Big Guy’?

Huang Zitao: I’m testing out new pet names for ya.

Wu Yifan: I’ll pass on that one.

Huang Zitao: Honey muffins?

Wu Yifan: Sounds like something I should be calling you?

Huang Zitao: I am NOTHING like those honey muffins.

Wu Yifan: Whatever you say babe.

Huang Zitao: How about… Cutie Patootie?!

Wu Yifan: I’m not cute.

Huang Zitao: I happen to think you’re adorable!

Wu Yifan: NEXT.

Huang Zitao: Cuddle Bug! YES. Kris is my cuddle bug!

Wu Yifan: …

Huang Zitao: You can’t change my mind. Soz.

Wu Yifan: Oh great. That’s all I need. To have my species changed and for the world to know I like to cuddle.

Do Kyungsoo: Don’t worry Kris! Everyone knows Kai likes to cuddle; now it’s your turn.

Wu Yifan: Piss off Kyungsoo.

Do Kyungsoo: …



Kim Joonmyun: Calling on Cuddle Bug!

Wu Yifan: PISS OFF.

Kim Joonmyun: No, but seriously Cuddle Bug, I need your leadership over here.



Park Chanyeol > Wu Yifan: Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing like a buggggggggggg.

Wu Yifan: Seriously, you.

Byun Baekhyun: I WILL!

Park Chanyeol: YAY. Cheers Cuddle Bug.



Zhang Yixing > Wu Yifan: Hey Kris?




Zhang Yixing > Kim Joonmyun: I’m not one to usually do this. like, tell on someone, but… can you talk to Kris? He swore at me and threatened me.

Kim Joonmyun likes this.

Kim Joonmyun: He did what?

Zhang Yixing: Go look. I didn’t even DO anything.

Huang Zitao: Aw don’t worry about Kris. He’s just on his period.

Kim Joonmyun: Oh, one of those days?

Zhang Yixing: If he’s PMSing then you should really get him to the doctor.

Huang Zitao: Why?

Zhang Yixing: There’s a couple of reason, maybe one being HE’S A BOY?!

Huang Zitao: How do you know?

Kim Joonmyun: You mean… he’s not a guy?

Huang Zitao: Of course he is! Just don’t assume anything -__-!

Zhang Yixing: You guys are perfect for each other.

Huang Zitao: THANKS!



Oh Sehun: I’m feeling the best I’ve felt for a long time!

Do Kyungsoo, Lu Han and 5 others like this.

Do Kyungsoo: Oh? What happened?

Byun Baekhyun: I’m guessing the date went really well?

Oh Sehun: You thought correct!

Lu Han: That’s because I’m like the best boyfriend ever.

Oh Sehun: No arguments here, at all.

Do Kyungsoo: What happened?

Byun Baekhyun: Tell!

Lu Han: I took him out to a very quiet (but good) restaurant and we ate, talked before we took a stroll in the park. That’s all.

Oh Sehun: That may be all but seriously, it was the calmest I’ve ever felt.

Do Kyungsoo: That’s so sweet! Seriously.

Byun Baekhyun: Totally jealous.

Do Kyungsoo: Me too!

Lu Han: Real subtle hints guys!



Kim Joonmyun: I need two volunteers.

Zhang Yixing, Lu Han and 3 others like this.

Park Chanyeol: What for exactly?

Huang Zitao: What are we supposedly signing up for?

Kim Jongin: Maybe he wants a foursome.

Do Kyungsoo: Such a dirty mind.

Kim Jongdae: Like you all weren’t thinking the exact same thing.

Kim Joonmyun: No, the manager just laid an idea beside me, and I need two volunteers to participate, I already refused.

Oh Sehun: If you refused, then it must be something bad.

Park Chanyeol: I wanna know!

Do Kyungsoo: I’m not sure I do…

Kim Joonmyun: I need two of you to perform Troublemaker’s ‘Now’ dance.

Do Kyungsoo: Thought so.

Byun Baekhyun: No freaking way.

Kim Jongin: Eh… Even I’m not doing that.


Wu Yifan: Kris shall NOT be doing this.

Huang Zitao: Oh come on! I’ll be Hyunseung and I’m sure you’ll be a terrific Hyuna!

Wu Yifan: that.

Kim Joonmyun: LANGUAGE.

Zhang Yixing: Aw I’ve missed you saying that.

Park Chanyeol: I agree with Tao

Lu Han: Me too!

Kim Jongin: Me three.

Byun Baekhyun: Me four.

Kim Minseok: Me five.

Kim Jongdae: Me six.

Do Kyungsoo: Me seven.

Zhang Yixing: Me eight!

Wu Yifan: SHUT UP.

Kim Joonmyun: Thanks TaoRis! And Kris, you should really think about getting anger management classes. Your anger has taken a wrong turn ever since we all got back onto Facebook.

Huang Zitao: Tell me about it. Even off of Facebook he’s angrier.

Wu Yifan: Guys. I said no.

Huang Zitao: Kris…

Wu Yifan: Seriously. No. I’m going to ignore you from now on.

Huang Zitao: What??

Wu Yifan: Later.

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah… Kris just left the dorm.

Huang Zitao: Guess that’s a no to the Troublemaker.

Kim Joonmyun: I was joking anyway…

Huang Zitao: Great… now I’ve a pissed off boyfriend for no reason.



Kim Minseok: Christmas Time!

Kim Jongdae: Mistletoe and Wine!

Lu Han: Children Singing!

Oh Sehun: Christian Rhymes!

Kim Jongin: Now promoting, the barbershop quartet! Christmas edition!



Kim Jongin: I got a new addiction.

Kim Joonmyun, Wu Yifan and 6 others likes this.

Kim Jongdae: Apart from Kyungsoo’s ?

Do Kyungsoo: HEY. Come on now, no need.

Kim Jongin: Seriously Chen, you’re like my long lost child.

Lu Han: Thought I was KaiSoo’s kid?

Kim Jongdae: You’ve been replaced.

Do Kyungsoo: No one can replace my Lulu.

Kim Jongdae: ANYWAY. The new addiction Jongin?

Kim Jongin: Energy drinks.

Lu Han: Don’t you remember the last time you drank loads of caffeinated drinks last year?

Kim Jongin: No, I don’t.

Lu Han: Exactly.

Kim Jongdae: I fully support you daddy.

Kim Jongin: Gee, thanks. Now, since you’ve agreed, I’ve now placed energy drinks as your new addiction too.

Kim Jongdae: Yes sir! XIUMIN. DRINKS. NOW.



Park Chanyeol > Byun Baekhyun: I think you’re magnificent.

Byun Baekhyun likes this.

Byun Baekhyun: You’re too sweet!

Park Chanyeol: It’s true, I just watched your performance and you’re really amazing.

Byun Baekhyun: Oh babe, I like this side of you.

Park Chanyeol: Can I shower you with gifts please?

Byun Baekhyun: You need to ask me?

Park Chanyeol: Thought so. Beware, you’re about to be spoiled.



Do Kyungsoo > Kim Jongin: Um, you just got a call.

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: What are you talking about baby?

Do Kyungsoo: You left your phone in our room, you got a call.

Kim Jongin: Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!

Do Kyungsoo: Kai, where are you right now?

Kim Jongin: Right. Out of the dorms. Okay, so, who was it?

Do Kyungsoo: I’ll just say it straight – apparently it was one of your exes?

Kim Jongin: Huh?

Do Kyungsoo: You put the name down as ‘EX no 3’?

Kim Jongin: Oh…

Kim Jongdae: BUSTED.

Lu Han: Oh my god, I used to LOVE that band.

Kim Jongdae: Did you know they are coming back?

Lu Han: I heard!

Kim Jongin: GUYS SHUT UP.

Do Kyungsoo: Just get home, okay?

Kim Jongin: I’ll be there as fast as I can.



Zhang Yixing > Huang Zitao: Do you remember, a long while ago, you agreed to go on a road trip with me?

Huang Zitao, Lu Han and Oh Sehun likes this.

Huang Zitao: Are you talking about the time when Kris got me the car?

Zhang Yixing: Yeah!

Huang Zitao: What about it?

Zhang Yixing: Wanna go?

Huang Zitao: …Yes please. I need to get out.

Zhang Yixing: I thought so. Let’s go!

Huang Zitao: I’ll be right there.



Kim Joonmyun: Has anyone seen Yifan anywhere lately?

Kim Minseok likes this.

Kim Minseok: Now that you mention it, no.

Oh Sehun: He’s not around lately.

Do Kyungsoo: Well it is our long break.

Lu Han: And wasn’t he kind of pissed off last time he was here?

Kim Joonmyun: Yeah, I’m trying to find him. Any ideas?

Oh Sehun: Go ask Tao.

Kim Joonmyun: I can’t: he and Lay went on a road trip.

Do Kyungsoo: Without their phones?

Kim Joonmyun: Oh… right.

Park Chanyeol: Don’t worry. Ever since we got Facebook back, I’ve forgotten about all other communication devices too.



Byun Baekhyun: Flowers, chocolates, cards and roses. I feel like a woman.

Park Chanyeol and Lu Han likes this.

Lu Han: That’s so cute! :3

Park Chanyeol: Is that a bad thing? I thought you like gifts…

Byun Baekhyun: I love them!

Lu Han: It sounded like criticism.

Byun Baekhyun: Sorry Channie, it wasn’t! Just showing how good a boyfriend you are!

Park Chanyeol: Thank god! My heart was pounding like a nail!

Lu Han: …

Byun Baekhyun: I’m glad you’re so good at giving gifts. *sigh*



Huang Zitao: Hey, we’re back!

Zhang Yixing: Hey, we are!

Huang Zitao: Hey I had a fabulous time. Thanks Lay.

Zhang Yixing: No problem, let’s do it again!

Huang Zitao: Yeah! I think I just heard Kris come in, excuse me.

Zhang Yixing: Go get em’ tiger.



Kim Jongdae: Well that escalated quickly.



Kim Minseok: Room change? Anyone?



Kim Jongin: *gulp* I hate the fact that that .



Kim Joonmyun: Soundproof rooms. Amazing technology that we need.



Do Kyungsoo: All these statuses are about Kris and Tao arguing then having , right?

Kim Jongin likes this.

Kim Jongin: You’re right baby!

Do Kyungsoo: And you got because of that?

Kim Jongin: You didn’t?

Do Kyungsoo: …

Kim Jongin: Thought so. Stop feigning innocence.


Do Kyungsoo: Oh my god Tao. I can still hear you. YOU’RE ON FACEBOOK WHILST HAVING ?!

Lu Han: Is Kris that boring?

Oh Sehun: By those sounds – no.

Huang Zitao: He’s away getting refreshments. Shut up. All of you.

Kim Jongin: Have fun!

Do Kyungsoo: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Lu Han: Everyone just saw a Kris run in the hallway to the bathroom, right?

Do Kyungsoo: Yup.

Kim Jongin: Uh-huh.

Kim Jongdae: …sadly yes.

Kim Minseok: *Shivers*

Oh Sehun: Ew.

Huang Zitao: You all love it.




Kim Jongin: Take it he just saw the status!


Huang Zitao: Thanks everyone for pissing Kris off this past week. It was the best we've had in ages!

Kim Jongin, Kim Jongdae and 8 others like this.


A/N: It's been a while right? Well, I've been wanting to update this for a long time! Have fun reading! <3




Comments are moderated. Keep it cool. Critical is fine, but if you're rude to one another (or to us), we'll delete your stuff. Have fun and thanks for joining the conversation!

You must be logged in to comment
TaoTop #2
Chapter 13: This story literally made my week! Thank you for writing it!
Dreamer_Oppa18 #3
Loved this story. It had me laughing the whole time I read it xD
ashmk113 #4
Chapter 12: This is my D.O is my bias. Hardcore Supernatural fan right here! Although I'm sure he has no idea what the show is, but the coincidence in this is uncanny lol
ashmk113 #5
Chapter 5: Shameless promotion lol Love it
saico_yeoja #6
Chapter 10: i was confused about " ", so i google searched it and "ah~ i got it now!"
ankimanika #7
Chapter 10: Wkwkwkw I always laugh loudly whenever I read chen comment or status. Kekeke

This is hillarious. Loove this. ;)
love_jungdok #8
Chapter 7: Kim Jongin > Do Kyungsoo: My magic watch says you don’t have any underwear on.
Kim Jongdae, Byun Baekhyun and Wu Yifan likes this.
Do Kyungsoo: Um, no… I do.
Kim Jongin: Oh, you do?
Do Kyungsoo: Um, yes.
Kim Jongin: Well, it must be ten minutes fast then.
Do Kyungsoo: …
Kim Jongin: …
Do Kyungsoo: …
Kim Jongin: …
Do Kyungsoo: My room. Now.
Kim Jongin: :D!

I can't believe that worked.
love_jungdok #9
Chapter 6: BAP YASSS omg
love_jungdok #10
Chapter 6: Huang Zitao is in a relationship with Wu Yifan.
Park Chanyeol likes this.
Kim Jongin: Whatever man.
Kim Joonmyun: Stay this way.

*Katy Perry's Hot n Cold plays in the bg*
love_jungdok #11
Chapter 6: Park Chanyeol is engaged to Byun Baekhyun.
Lu Han, Kim Joonmyun and 5 others like this.
Lu Han: NO WAY.