"Sup!" or "What's up!" Is what i use to address my friends. They usually reply with a  'not much' or something like that. 

And those replies are the ones that i hate. I'm the kind of girl, that opens up to everyone. When poeple ask me 'whats up' i tell them everything that's going on. How i'm feeling about things that are happening, or that my homework is giving me a headache, or that i that im starving because i didn't like today's dinner. 

I just... wish that peple would tell that to me.

So to start that, i'm going to tell everyone, everything about me.

There is always a ton of stuff going on in your life. Its not some easy boring cycle that happens everyday. There's always a problem waiting to be solved and people there to support you. There's always going to be the best part of your day, that you laugh at , just by thinking about it. There's always going to be a person, crush or not, that runs through your mind, constantly. 

There's never 'not much' going on in your life, whether you like it or not.

You need: a reality check.

_____________________________

These two words scare me. Today, I went over to the high school, and that's when I really realized how big this damn place is. I was there yesterday, but I only saw the quad and the gym and stuffz. But today, Taecyeon, Jonghyun, Sulli, Jessica and some others came with us, to go to the high school earlier in order to get there before everyone else for the Honors Bio meeting. I texted; Yoonji, Minyoung and Jiyeon when I got there. Hopping that I could meet with them for some ‘unni supprt’? I don’t know. But I sorta wanted as much of PG* with me as I could get. We searched the whole entire place and finally found room 405, Choi Sam. I honestly thought that Choi Sam was a male, at first, maybe because the name was close to Branson? I don’t know :/ But I was just standing there just talking and then people start walking out of the classroom, then I get shivers d own my back. I turned to Jessica and gave her a nervous look. She gave me an encouraging smile and then out of nowhere she’s like “Hey! Isn’t that Yoseob?” while looking behind me. I turned around and Seob was standing there so I called out to him. He walked over and we small talked and walked away eventually while mentioning that Choi Sam . I started to get impatient and Appa called me saying that he was waiting for me back at middle school. I told him that I was at the HS and he told me to be done by 3:20. I told him okay, because it was just supposed to be a Info packet handout. Then I walked over to the other side, where the opening was and I saw Yoonji with Yoseob. I suddenly ran super fast and gave Yoonji a bear hug. I don’t know if my face showed this, but I was so relieved, that I wanted to cry. I don’t know why I was so relieved, but I guess it was just because I got to know that I have ‘unni’ support…? I really don’t know. I’m just… I don’t know. We talked a little and she had to go, and I hit Yoseob with my thermo by accident: / Sorry Derek D:< When they walked away, Jessica and I turned back to go back to waiting at the door. I suddenly felt scared again. I got a rush of Goosebumps, very unpleasant Goosebumps. So I just stood there, sweating as I loosed my scarf. I tried to laugh at a few of Ben’s jokes, but I just ended up thinking about this whole processing general again. Then all of a sudden, a lady in a faded floral button down came out and yelled “HIGHSCOOLERS! HIGHSCOOLERS COME IN FIRST” And following that, a few freshman walked over to her and said “Hi Choi Sam!” and walked inside. So… She’s an old lady… that was unexpected. Then I started that train of thought… What else is going to be unexpected? Are the teachers harder than they say? Is the stress worse that is seems? And I just kept on asking myself and asking myself these things. Then…The doors opened and she motioned to us ‘middle schoolers’. She gave us directions to go in. When I got in line to sign in, Appa called. I left. I was so scared to do anything. I nervously found my way around the campus, alone. I exhaled heavily when I passed the gates. I wanted to cry right that second. But I took a deep breath and walked towards the car. I told Appa that I wanted to see if I could go to another High school to take the other half of algebra over summer, so that I would be able to take geometry first year, because our city doesn’t provide it :/ I feel so stupid, compared to the rest of my friends. I know that I shouldn’t be discouraging myself or anything, but I’m not good at homework. I’m not good at understanding. Sometimes, in my Youth group, I would/will ask a lot of questions so that… I can get a better understanding, but then they started making up jokes like how I don’t get things or how I’m always confused. I’ll admit, yeah, I don’t always get things that’s why I ask. At first, it was sort of funny, and I would play along. But now that I’m starting to take my grades seriously, It hurts a little bit. I want to think that I’m smart. When I told my Appa that I don’t feel smart. Something that made me slightly happier is when he said “You are not academically smart, I think everyone knows that. But Priscilla, I think you are smart than anyone of them . Not because I’m your Appa, but because I see it.” He talked about how I can to logical solving and how once I understand things, I can solve it in a blink of an eye. It just takes a while for me to understand. I wish I could process things faster… really. I’m really bad at homework, and especially bad at studying. I copy homework a lot. And I almost never study, unless practicing math counts. I think I’m going to have to take up Minyoung and Yoonji on their tutoring offer. I’m just a little scared of the outcome :/ I’m scared to be left behind, I always am. I have a side to me that no one will ever believe. I’m so sensitive, I take everything to heart whether I laugh it off or cry a little. I’m scared of so much.