CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE:Time

 

 

"Dammit, this is a lot more stressing than I thought it would be," the muffled phrase was followed by a groan. The impatient steps that echoed in the marbled floor made the situation slightly more stressing but WooHyun wasn't able to notice it, he was too busy trying not to pull his hair out. DongWoo, on the other side, was shifting from one side to another as he searched for a good position on the firm chair he was sitting on.

 

"Why do they take so long...?" He wondered as his eyes kept following the singer's uneasy figure. 

 

It was almost midday and there was still no final sentence for SungYeol. As the time prolonged, it made them feel more uneasy. SungGyu wasn't actually emitting a single word, there were enough dialogues between the second and third oldest members to add more stress in the spacious room. He just wished things could go faster and, for a moment, he had hoped to not have SungJong sending them a text every now and then to keep them informed. Nothing was clear, not even for the maknae that was actually listening and seeing everything.

 

"I bet it's SungJong and not the jury the one that's taking this—God, that scared me!" WooHyun had actually jumped a few inches when the touchscreen lighted and a popping sound emerged.

 

"They're finally done with the pause?"

 

WooHyun nodded at DongWoo's question as he unlocked his iPhone. SungGyu exhaled as they all waited.

 

"They are saying some stuff that I don't really—what the heck, SungJong?"

 

"He seriously wrote that?" SungGyu found himself asking as he scratched his sore skin—he was starting to get red spots on his right forearm where the catheter was now set since his skin was too sensible. The feeling of punching someone's face was shared in the hospital room.  

 

"Yeah, he did... so, seems there's no information yet, guys," WooHyun said locking the screen yet as soon as he did it, a popping sound bloomed.

 

"Well, that was fast..." DongWoo mumbled as he reached for WooHyun's tee to pull him closer to the patient's bed. Seemed he had had enough of the singer walking around. With a quick exchange of gazes, WooHyun took a seat on the side of the bed. SungGyu wasn't pleased with the proximity but he found no words to push the younger away. Right now, SungYeol's news were more important that WooHyun's invasion of personal space. 

 

Making noise with his exhalation, WooHyun lifted his phone but before he finished touching his code, he stopped. His eyebrows knitting into a conflicted frown. 

 

"You know? This might be it, guys..." he suddenly said, his voice low and serious. His eyes still fixed on the mobile in his hands. "What if... what if this isn't what we're all hoping for? What if... what if SungYeol's future is—"

 

"Don't jinx it, WooHyun!" DongWoo moaned suddenly shaking his head strongly. 

 

At that, SungGyu dedicated them a judging look. "Just read it."

 

But instead of following the older's orders, WooHyun made the same head movement the rapper did seconds ago, his eyes closed tightly proving how unwilling he was of knowing what was written on the text. "I can't read it! I can't!"

 

"For god's sake, WooHyun. Whether you read it or not, the decision's already made—!" SungGyu's sand-like voice was followed suit by a couple of loud dry coughs. All this being the reaction to the sudden force he applied to it. Blinded by the sudden outburst, he didn't notice exactly when he got surrounded by both men. Woohyun already giving him small pats on his back while DongWoo held a glass of water close to him but instead of appreciate the actions, SungGyu pushed them both with his free left arm.

 

"Ain't you gonna read?" He deliberately ignored the worried looks.

 

"Fine," WooHyun sighed after a lost eye-fight. Quickly, he touched his code for a second time. "Here it goes," he murmured before clearing his throat. "In case—freaking numbers—the curt, us, send you, Lee SungYeol, to a term of—Holy !"

 

Before SungGyu could scream for a second time at WooHyun, DongWoo voiced his desperation in form of the singer's complete name. Loudly. WooHyun just needed to keep on reading the SMS, as simple as that—yet there was no need for him to continue doing that. It didn't matter anymore. SungGyu's glare got erased to a blank expression as he caught WooHyun's face. Face that was now like an open book for him and DongWoo; his wide boyish grin and his crescent moon like eyes, the overwhelming bliss his features held, the speechless mode he was on. All that was more than enough to let them know how SungJong's text ended.

 

The bliss seemed contagious, reaching SungGyu's face.

 

All those dark clouds that had been fervently following them from the moment SungYeol's accident happened, whatever nightmare SungGyu had foreseen since the trials started, all the pressure he had felt on his shoulders, the accumulated fatigue and unknown perpetual uneasiness, all that was going to disappear. WooHyun's face, like a clairvoyant, said it. 

 

Slowly but surely. 

 

Who would've thought? Without a warning, it all had started a few months ago, yet it had felt like years for SungGyu. From the moment he got that call on a fresh summer night and when he found SungYeol, lost and vulnerable on the street. He still remembered the feeling that invaded his pores when the member reached out for him in despair as he cried silently. The bluish and reddish lights that illuminated the deserted street were too impregnated in his memories, making the scene a lot more frightening with the ambulance and constant sirens as the baleful soundtrack for what he believed was SungYeol's worst nightmare. 

 

It hadn't been not even three months ago when SungYeol cried daily in the dorms, missing his sleep and ignoring the meals, worrying the members with his held secret and obvious pain, making SungGyu feel anxious with the hidden truth. He had tried so hard to look after him and still, days later he ended up being taken away from the dorms to his parents' place.

 

That had been the first time SungGyu had felt scared, scared that it all was starting to slip from his hands. 

 

Not long after that, the members had proved they were going to keep on going together. This wasn't proved not only to their company but to the media and to their fans, getting a strong response with the Forever Seven movement—movement that was still active, showing their care for the idols. Good and bad comments came their way but they fought them, they fought against it all so hard they started, unknowingly, to break apart.

 

It hadn't been not even two months ago when the idols' rebellious act got out of control in Inkigayo. That had been one of the hardest days for SungGyu as a leader. Because from that day onwards, SungGyu's trust and belief in s went downhill. And it got worse when they started to promote without SungYeol, having their schedules divided, SungGyu had felt completely pushed aside by the younger males.

 

It hadn't been that long when SungGyu found out about his sickness. Another really bad day for him. The collections of days he wanted to forget kept growing by the weeks.

 

Not even a fortnight ago, they had finished recording their music video without SungYeol's voice and presence—getting completely eliminated from their promotions. And not even a week ago he ended up really sick in a foreign land.

 

Everything that had happened in that short span of time, all that was finally concluding as SungYeol's trial came to an end. Was this the prelude to a clear sky in their lives? SungGyu didn't want to think too far, for he still had one last thing to overcome. His surgery.

 

Having the possibility of losing that one thing that had always been free and special for him was scary. The freedom he felt while singing, was it going to be taken away from him too? It was all a blurred future. Yes, he still felt uneasy with it's lack of assurance, but surprisingly, he didn't feel worried for Infinite, not anymore. While he had been trying his best to let go of his voice, giving it his all in Thailand, he was sure that if something was to happen to his voice and his position in the group, the six of them—because he knew SungYeol was going to be back on track, even if that was the last thing he, SungGyu, was going to do for the group—could do it together. SungYeol, after everything he experienced, he had turned into a stronger person, it was obvious for SungGyu and the members seemed too attached to him now. He knew it, their pillar was now firmer than ever, he was ready for whatever came their way.

 

 

 

"Hey, Hyung, how are you feeling?"

 

That greeting was the first thing that reached SungGyu's ears after the door from his room went wide open. Instantly, SungJong's cheerful face was brightening the place, followed suit by the peaceful one of HoWon, who was carrying a rather big basket. Both idols were wearing formal clothes.

 

"You brought him peaches?" WooHyun looked quizzically at the dancer who just placed a blank expression on his face, those were obviously peaches. SungGyu didn't pay much attention to them as he got busy poking the maknae's cheek to make him respect his personal space. Sometimes SungJong wasn't able to control his distance with him. 

 

"The kid's idea," Hoya said more to SungGyu than to WooHyun as he left the basket on the coffee table, next to the newest bouquets. Most of his gifts had been already taken to the dorms; they had been too many to be kept in the room. "Good to see you out of bed, Hyung."

 

After the news of SungYeol's case ending as a neglectful accident—where he had to do 300 hours of service and pay a reasonable amount of blood money—SungGyu had called said member. He wanted to congratulate him and know how he was feeling but with all the excitement in the place it was hard for them to hold a conversation so they ended it quickly. It didn't help the fact that WooHyun and DongWoo kept cheering and making noise for SungYeol to listen. SungGyu did enjoy seeing them being scolded by the young nurse that was in charge. 

 

It didn't take long before DongWoo left the hospital but as expected, WooHyun stayed there with him. He just left to get a quick shower and a change of clothes to the dorms when SungGyu's parents came to pay him a visit. It hadn't been long since his sister arrived to take their parents for lunch. 

 

They didn't need to ask for SungJong to start narrating the morning trial. WooHyun interrupted him plenty of times, telling him how his description didn't match with the awkward SMS's he sent them. Surprisingly Hoya laughed, teasing some more the maknae as he read the texts that WooHyun showed him. Still, with puffed cheeks, SungJong and HoWon ended narrating the events. 

 

"Where are the others? I thought they were gonna come," WooHyun wondered as he went forward to the basket. SungGyu was already reaching for his third peach and SungJong felt happy with his choice of fruit.

 

"We can't be all here at the same time, you know?"

 

"Well, it's a pretty big room, you know?"

 

SungGyu's eyes narrowed. 

 

"Right, Hyung! DaeYeollie said he will drop by soon," SungJong popped out before the others could keep on going with their usual bickering. SungGyu nodded at the message, he was thankful for the visits and small get-well presents the families from s had sent him. They had all showed care and support. "Also, MyungSoo-hyung wasn't able to make it cuz he was pretty much captured by SungYeol-hyung's mother. It seemed she prepared a celebration meal."

 

"I guess SungYeol was happy about that," he said while WooHyun chuckled into his peach, SungJong just smiled as he shook his head.

 

"He kept whining about MyungSoo's superhuman capacity of eating," said that WooHyun bursted laughing. SungGyu smirked at the image of the usual SungYeol but his imagination got interrupted when his eyes caught Hoya's expression, a mixed one. There was worry held in it but there was too a small curved line. A little but sincere smile that brought warmth to SungGyu's sudden uneasy insides. 

 

Things were going to improve, they were starting to...

 

 

 

♫

 

 

 

"You're heartless when it comes to your mother."

 

It was a strong statement that made SungYeol instantly turn his attention from the ukulele he had in his arms to his left side, his gaze meeting two penetrating stone-like orbs; as always, deep like the ocean yet warmth like the sun. Snorting was the second reaction he had for said phrase before he broke the silent interaction. 

 

"I'm not. I love her but she has no sense of privacy," SungYeol shrugged it off, strumming slowly a chord he had been fascinated with for the past few minutes. The sound was a weird mixture of melancholy and happiness. Perfect to demostrate how he felt at the moment.

 

Not seeing it coming, a finger went directly to his ribs.

 

"Yah!" SungYeol's voice went slightly higher as his body twisted like a worm. He hated having ticklish sides yet he hated more the pursed lips MyungSoo's face held as his eyes narrowed gaining the shape of their leader's infamous eyes. The meaning behind that look was obvious.

 

"You should've stayed at your folks," he concluded before letting his body fall on the couch next to SungYeol. Their arms barely touching.

 

"Nah, it's better if I say here," SungYeol said turning to look at the younger male's profile. MyungSoo too busy with his camera to notice the blunt stare. "Remember tomorrow we're gonna go early to visit Hyung before the surgery."

 

At those words the visual nodded slightly, still roaming through the photos from his camera's screen.

 

There was no need for SungYeol to see the photos MyungSoo was so focused on to know they were the ones he had taken at his parents' place after they shared the special meal his mother made. He might have acted cold towards her but he was really thankful to the woman, not only for the celebration and support she had always given to him but for forcing MyungSoo to tag along. After the active members came back from Thailand, MyungSoo had started to act slightly distant, and SungYeol had supposed it had something to do with the incident at the salon—adding the forced kiss in the dance room days prior. He hadn't found the time to talk with the younger member but things somehow got smooth while they shared some drinks and side dishes at the small reunion; boys will be boys. 

 

Things soon changed just like, not so long ago, they used to be. Seeing MyungSoo laughing at DaeYeol's jokes and seeing him teasing him along with his father to make the mature woman laugh. It wasn't like his family didn't get along with the other members—they had known each other for years now—but SungYeol really enjoyed MyungSoo's presence at his parents' place.

 

"Do you think it'll go right?"

 

MyungSoo's careful voice floated suddenly over the gentle tune SungYeol was playing, making the older turn his attention once again to the younger male that was no longer looking at his camera but abusing his lower lip. SungYeol could only sigh at the sight before barely nudgging the visual's shoulder so he could stop. 

 

"It will go the way it has to go..." was the only thing SungYeol was able to say. Because that was, actually, the only thing he was sure of. Everything had a reason, and everything went at it's own rhythm. That much he had learned over the past few months. Growing up had never been so painful for him.

 

"I guess so..." the younger's voice came slow, as if showing how hard it was for him to accept SungYeol's words. MyungSoo's troubles gaze met an assuring expression.

 

Their eye contact didn't break, not until SungYeol felt soft and warmth skin under his fingertips. Instinctively, he had gone to reach for the resting hand on the other singer's knee. He wasn't usually a touchy person and he had been really careful from approaching MyungSoo. After he stole the lips from the younger member, SungYeol had never tried to reach for him in case he made the younger feel uncomfortable. 

 

In case he was rejected.

 

Taking a small but sharp inhalation, SungYeol broke the contact. His gaze wandered from one place to another as an awkward atmosphere started to engulf them just because of his reaction—or overreaction? SungYeol wasn't sure anymore. He hated making MyungSoo feel uncomfortable with his presence. He hated feeling uncomfortable when next to the younger. He had to stop it. Somehow.

 

"I—"

 

How did he made it? He didn't really want to know. In an instant MyungSoo's deep orbs turned into something stronger than him that made SungYeol feel trapped, as if he was getting swallowed completely by the regard. Words and free will forgotten.

 

Those delphian eyes covered by a veil of secrets were penetrating into his nervous thoughts. It didn't help that no actual words were exchanged in the slow abduction. The sound of the air conditioner was the only silent soundtrack to the nerve wrecking scene. At least it was from SungYeol's side since he somehow, without advice, found himself involved in this unexpected intimacy.

 

Once again, MyungSoo was observing SungYeol.

 

"Wanna play Call of Duty?"

 

The words stumbled from SungYeol's lips an instant before he stood up from the couch and not even caring if the younger idol gave him an answer to his high pitched question, he walked away to fetch the game. It had to be somewhere in their bedroom. With his accelerated heart, SungYeol looked on the drawers and possible places, or at least he was trying to since his eyes weren't actually paying attention to what they saw. HIs mind was busy trying to calm his system down.

 

"What am I doing?" SungYeol breathed to himself while running a hand thru his thick locks of hair. Taking a seat on the closest bed, he reached with one hand for his chest trying to ease his heart and emotions. This couldn't go on...

 

It was stupid. This all was stupid.

 

"Yeah, what the are you doing? All the games are in the living room," MyungSoo's playful voice startled him but the warm grin on his face as he waved the box to his direction brought a chuckle to SungYeol's lips. "Here," he said as he gave the slim object to SungYeol before taking a seat on the bed opposite to him.

 

"Do you feel like playing?" SungYeol murmured after a while, his gaze laying absentmindedly on the back side of the box. A hum came as the visual's answer. "I thought so..."

 

The awkwardness that had invaded them moments ago in the living room seemed wasn't even trying to show up anymore. The tranquil silence that surrounded them was actually enjoyable still, SungYeol couldn't help it but assume his and MyungSoo's relationship was turning from the relaxing one to a cautious one. All this product of his thoughtless heart.

 

"You know?" MyungSoo said gently shifting into a more comfortable position on the bed. His legs ending up being trapped by his slim arms. "I didn't get a chance to congratulate you 'bout today."

 

"You're right, you didn't and still you went to stuff yourself with my mother's cooking."

 

MyungSoo rolled his eyes but ended up crooking an innocent smile, smile that made his insides twinkle for an instance. SungYeol couldn't help it but question him with his eyes. The younger just shook his head slightly before he exhalated. 

 

"Can you believe it's all over now?"

 

Over? Well, in a wat it all had ended when the judgen gave him the sentence that morning but there was still a lot SungYeol had to do to conclude this thick chapter in his life. There were still things he had to think about, there were services he had to do, prayers he had to give... somehow, it was never going to be over yet he understood what MyungSoo meant with his question so he nodded once, letting his lips give a lame imitation of the expression on the younger idol's face.

 

"I told you there was no need to worry. You did nothing wrong, Yeol-ah."

 

For a second time SungYeol nodded, drifting his gaze to the gray slippers on his feet.

 

"...thanks."

 

For believing in me.

 

"So," After a moment, MyungSoo broke the silence again, slightly prolonging the vowel before he snatched the game box that had been in SungYeol's grip all along, making him immediately lift his gaze to glare at the youngster but he got bluntly ignored. "I don't wanna play."

 

Said that, MyungSoo pushed SungYeol to the side so he could crawl inside of the lower bunk-bed. Like a cat, he stretched his longs limbs before turning on his back, his arms open wide. SungYeol just eyed him with an unamused look pasted on his face. At times the visual could act just like a kid.

 

"I know you just said—"

 

"What do you think about getting some ice cream?"

 

"What?" The question took SungYeol by surprise, confusing him for a moment. It hadn't been awhile since they emptied his parents' fridge, so where did this sudden crave came from? And also, "it's raining outside, Soo." He pointed out as he sat indian style, facing the younger who slightly shrugged.

 

"Don't you wanna go out with me?"

 

At first the question sounded normal in SungYeol's ears, but there was something in the way he said it that made SungYeol's brain start to work. Just like in old times, he tried to listen once again to the unsaid in between the visual's words. It wasn't only the intonation of the question but the warm colour invading the younger's cheeks. The glow in MyungSoo's serene gaze as it danced from one side to another slowly woke up SungYeol's memories...

 

He wasn't reading between lines correctly, right?!

 

"What do you say?" He questioned before taking a sitting position, his knees managing to touch SungYeol's. There was a shy smile invading his expressions and voice. "I know you want vanilla ice cream."

 

And it was then that SungYeol understood the question. He had no doubt about it. This was actually happening. After everything he had experienced, SungYeol was finally getting the answer he had been waiting for. Answer that didn't need to be said out loud for him to understand it. It was clear like the glow in MyungSoo's orbs and the shyness in his voice.

 

SungYeol had no idea what to do next; cry, smile, shout—?

 

"."

 

Like a natural reflex, SungYeol voice out the insult before extending one of his long limbs that went directly to the younger idol's hip. A groan was emitted before an arm went flying in his direction. Before he could think about it, SungYeol was trying to escape the quick hands and strong pressure. Soon they were tossing around, the bed sheets and pillows getting pushed from one side to the other in the process. Between their usual wrestling, SungYeol couldn't help it but snort at the pleased MyungSoo who was doing a pretty good job taking him under his grip. 

 

Even if SungYeol didn't want to admit it, the smirk on MyungSoo's face was a delightful sight for him. He couldn't care less that his wrist were trapped in one of the idol's hands while his hips got pressed tight by the other's knees. He didn't mind how intense the younger's gaze was while, SungYeol supposed, he examined every centimetre of his face. And he certainly wasn't bothered by the sudden invasion of personal space when MyungSoo gently let his body fall partially over him; his side feeling the warmth emanating from the body of the younger.

 

"I'm just gonna take that as a yes."

 

MyungSoo whispered after their breathing slowed, his nose tracing slowly the crook of SungYeol's neck. The delicate caress made him move his face slightly to the side, his cheek quickly meeting the softness of MyungSoo's hair. The aroma that came from it filled SungYeol's soul. Happiness starting to overflow his body. 

 

"Suit yourself."

 

 

 

♫

 

 

 

Carefully, almost as if it was afraid, a feeble hum propagated in the quite silent room. It was dark making the sound slide in the area like a knife that's cutting butter. The hum carried a broken yet warm tune that started to gain form and with it, cracked syllables began to elaborate words. SungGyu's lips barely opened as the song kept flowing. The words gaining strength but not balance; the fact that SungGyu's voice was sand-like couldn't be changed, yet that didn't stop him from singing. The lyrics of Nothing's Over setting in his personal room.

 

SungGyu's eyes were closed, he didn't want to see and if he could, he would have closed his ears too since he certainly didn't want to listen to his voice. He just wanted to feel, to get imprinted in his pores the emotions that conquered him whenever he sang. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to let go... 

 

"Hyung?" A cracked voice bloomed from afar but it wasn't really registered by SungGyu since he was gently singing. The sound of fabric rubbing with a sigh got mixed with his song before some lazy footsteps appeared. "Hyung, it's five in the morning..." It was then that he felt a hand reaching his catheterized arm.

 

Even if he knew who it was, SungGyu still opened his eyes meeting the image of WooHyun's face illuminated by the artificial light that came from the machines in the room.  His eyes were barely open and framed by some obvious dark circles. Just like his.

 

The lyrics never stopped from flowing in the room.

 

"Come on, Hyung, let your voice rest... in a few hours you'll get your surgery. Let's sleep."

 

But SungGyu shook his head in response before closing his eyes for a second time. Why would he do what WooHyun asks him? Somehow, he expected the younger to push him more so he could give up, instead WooHyun pulled one of the visitors' chair closer to the bed, letting his arms rest comfortably on the mattress. His sleepy eyes were looking at SungGyu as he gently sang; verse, chorus, reprise... in minutes the song ended giving space to silence. But then SungGyu started singing Back just to later continue with another song from their repertoire.

 

He didn't want to stop singing, because he didn't want to forget and because he didn't want to realize. He didn't want to acknowledge how he had been feeling. The simple fact that he knew he was hours away from getting in the operating room made him uneasy, it scared him. Not only because things were going to change or because his future was uncertain. It was just that he didn't feel safe... he didn't know how he actually felt. He had tried to sleep it away but the nurses coming in and out every periodical time made it impossible for him.

 

Couldn't he forget this all and go home?

 

As he was singing the second verse from Only Tears, SungGyu felt the lyrics reaching something inside of him, something he had feared to touch because it held the small button to his composure. Even if they were closed, his eyes started to itch. Maybe it was the sickness, but SungGyu's throat was dry so he passed some saliva to ease the sensation. Still, he wasn't able to keep on going. The words were now stuck in his mouth and ended up being swallowed when he managed to breathe in. Why couldn't he keep on singing? Why was it so hard? Why was he suddenly getting so scared?

 

Just as the emotions started to take control of SungGyu, he turned to the side, away from the observing eyes.

 

"Hyung, what's wrong?" SungGyu didn't answer. He wanted to ignore the worried voice. He wanted to control his trembling hands and he wanted to stop the warm liquid that was threatening to escape. "You know you can tell me—what are you doing?"

 

"Leaving." He answered while fumbling the bed sheet from his legs. He had impulsively sat on the bed surprising the younger idol. SungGyu's breathing was getting accelerated while his movements got more nervous. "I don't want to do this. I don't want the surgery." Said that he went for the catheter in his arm, bringing a memory back to WooHyun's mind. 

 

"Hyung!"

 

The younger was able to stop SungGyu from pulling out the medical instrument with one hand while the other went to reach for the leader's chin, easily making SungGyu face him; his red eyes emitting a feeble vibe of defeat. Because that's how he felt at the moment. Instead of fighting back, SungGyu just let WooHyun hold him still, stopping him from the sudden act he was putting up. An act he wasn't so sure he was going to follow until the end.   

 

"What's the need of going through it if either way I'm losing my voice?" His sand-like voice cut the silence.

 

"You have to be strong."

 

"No," SungGyu shook his head slowly, getting free from WooHyun's gentle grip. "It's always me the one that has to act that way... I don't want to. I don't." 

 

As his words ended, he sat on the side of his bed, the half pulled catheter itching his skin a lot more than it should but he didn't feel like pushing it inside.

 

This is embarrassing.

 

"Hyung, I know I'm an egoist but I need you to be strong."

 

 SungGyu snorted at the younger's words. "When will you stop thinking about yourself only? Cuz the world doesn't revolve around just you. We're all in it."

 

"That's why I won't leave you," snorting at WooHyun's words seemed now a given for him. "I did it before cuz I was a selfish idiot—well, I am like that and at times I really hate that side of me—but I won't do it again."

 

His words came fast but secure. Even if SungGyu wasn't looking at him he could perfectly see the singer's expression from where he was crouching; how his eyebrows were furrowed with concern and how his lips were pressed tightly, expression he always held whenever he said something that he meant. Still, SungGyu didn't want to believe it. 

 

Not yet.

 

"Hyung," the stubbornness of WooHyun finally appeared but what came after left him speechless. "I'm sorry... I really am sorry for acting like an ..."

 

This wasn't WooHyun trying to get things his way. This was the proud WooHyun accepting his mistakes. SungGyu had to lift his gaze to see the sincerity in the younger's features. He had to see his mouth move as the words were said because something like this wasn't usual.  

 

"Please, forgive me. Can't you see I'm trying?"

 

He couldn't ignore it, SungGyu had seen it. The moment WooHyun appeared in the hospital room he hadn't disappeared from his side. He had been there helping him and looking after him and his family. He had offered plenty of times to look after SungGyu at night so his older parents could get some rest at the hotel. WooHyun had never left—if only for a quick shower and a change of clothes—and he had actually never complained, not even once. 

 

"What about tomorrow? And the day after it?" SungGyu asked moments later as he noticed the younger's shoulders sulk before he once again sat on his usual chair. "I can't trust you."

 

"Then I'll make you trust me again..." in an instant a convinced light brightened the singer's eyes. "So please, be strong, for yourself. And I'll be stronger to support you. I'll be there to catch you, Hyung. I'll be the sharpest needle so you can saw, I'll be the strongest string so you can fly higher than ever... I'll be whatever you need."

 

That gentle smile and hopeful eyes, such a young WooHyun sitting in front of him. After the train wreck of problems, this had been the first time SungGyu was actually willing to give in to the younger idol's words. But it wasn't that easy. The younger had hurt him. He had ignored completely his feelings as a leader and a friend, but there he was, finally accepting his fault and showing his desire to make things change. He, not SungGyu. And this was something that made SungGyu's posture waver. 

 

"Huh? Huh? What do you say, Hyung?" WooHyun suddenly grinned moving his head from one side to another, his playful self kicking in before he started to hum a tune.

 

"What's that?" SungGyu asked curious as he sat more comfortably on his bed.

 

"Our trademark song."

 

"That's certainly not Delicious."

 

"Fine, what about Be Mine?" WooHyun sanG the title doing the hand gesture, getting a raised eyebrow from a slightly amused leader.

 

 

No actual conversation happened after that but they still didn't move from their places. They could've gone back to try get some sleep but SungGyu didn't feel like it and WooHyun wasn't leaving him, so the younger idol kept singing gently some of their songs and some others from NELL and other occidental groups he knew SungGyu was fond of. It was pleasing to have him hum along every now and then.

 

None of the hospital staff said a thing about their singing so early in the morning—the nurse in charge didn't even questioned the fact that the catheter had been pushed, she just placed it back to where it had to be. They acted as if nothing was going on, since they were all fully aware of what was going to happen that morning. Their apologetic eyes never failed to catch SungGyu's.

 

At seven thirty sharp, SungGyu's family arrived bringing with them stuff they thought SungGyu might need after the surgery. WooHyun gave his greetings before leaving to grab some coffee and to give the family some private time.  

 

SungGyu's mother didn't stop from holding his hands and kissing his cheeks and forehead. The woman wasn't planning to leave her baby's side. His father, on the other side, had taken the chair WooHyun had claimed his before he started asking how he was feeling and giving him some encouraging words, everything's going to be alright, son. His sister was moving from one side to another—not even her husband could keep her seated in one place—cheking everything that was written on his tablet of information and the chart on the wall. As a nurse, she wanted to be sure her little brother was well treated. Nothing could go wrong. 

 

As the time got closer, the distance between the appearance from the hospital's staff got shorter and shorter. They were getting ready for SungGyu's surgery. All too soon, Doctor Kang arrived with the surgeon in charge of his procedure, a younger man in his mid forties who calmly explained for the last time to SungGyu and his parents the process for the surgery. The doctor reassured, whenever he had the chance, that it wasn't a dangerous treatment and that it would be rather quick. SungGyu's mother even reached for the surgeon's hands putting her trust in him. Even if he felt embarrassed, SungGyu was thankful for her act. At times he wondered if his mother was more scared than he was. 

 

The minutes kept passing and SungGyu found himself plenty of times looking at the door.

 

He was waiting. 

 

At eight forty five, two male nurses appeared in his room, they were pulling a stretcher making SungGyu assume it was time for him to go to the surgery room. The moment he got set on the stretcher he looked up in his mother's eyes, trying to get some strength from them, he could listen his sister talking with one of the male nurses while his father pressed tight his shoulder in a comforting way.

 

"I'll be back soon," SungGyu promised to his teary eyed mother before he started to get pulled out of his room.

 

Still, no one came.

 

"Hyung."

 

Voices called out for him before his vision got filled with 's faces. One by one, they all surrounded him. They were all there. The six. SungGyu could feel Hoya's warm hand holding his as MyungSoo and SungJong looked from over his and WooHyun's shoulder. SungYeol was there too on his left side, smiling but not as wide as DongWoo. They had all been outside his room.  

 

For how long had they been outside waiting for him?

 

"You ready?" Hoya was first to ask, giving a bit more of pressure to their hands.

 

"We'll be waiting for you right here, Hyung," DongWoo intervened quickly getting MyungSoo to nod as the maknae managed to get closer to the stretcher. He leaned to the bed, letting SungGyu see his round and caring orbs. 

 

"Don't be worried, Hyung, you've got six people looking after you," he added just to be pushed away by SungYeol.

 

"Personal space, Jong-ah," WooHyun squinted his eyes.

 

Seeing them there giving him all the support they could offer, SungGyu couldn't help it but crack up a soft smile on his pale face. The gesture didn't last long because one of the nurses voiced it was time for him to go. The surgery team was already waiting for him so for the last time before his destiny caught him, he looked up at s, each one of their faces; reading whatever feeling was written on each one of them.

 

All too soon he got pulled away to the surgery room.  

 

So this was it. Everything he had done to keep his voice, all the fight he had put up just to hold on a day more. It was all ending as he got transported in the cold stretcher to his unchangeable destiny. Because even if one tries, no one can escape fate. The only thing one can do is embrace it, love it, and walk next to it.

 

Courage is needed to carry on. 

 

"You can't forget, Hyung!" WooHyun's loud voice suddenly ran thru the hall. "I won't leave you anymore!"

 

SungGyu rolled his eyes. 

 

He was ready.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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