CHAPTER ELEVEN:Stressed

He couldn’t stay still on the couch. He had tried to watch some TV but he couldn’t really concentrate since his mind was somewhere else so now he was walking in circles between the sofa and the long shelf. It was already two in the morning but SungGyu didn’t really know that. He was busy thinking how to give WooHyun a proper apology or at least trap his attention.

After the small talk he had shared DongWoo, SungGyu couldn’t help it but feel worse.

“Aish,” the leader whined before sitting on the cold floor in frustration. 

Asking forgiveness wasn’t a simple thing for SungGyu. He was a proud person - who wasn't? - but he also had that a strong feeling of responsibility. Just like WooHyun, he was having a hard time trying to divide his work life from his personal life. It wasn’t common for him, but whenever the younger singer was involved SungGyu would end up being confused. Working with a friend wasn’t a simple task. And more if it was a closer one. 

Just do what you have to do, he repeated the mantra in his mind but stopped letting his child self act against his leader self.

“Why me?” SungGyu whined again before dropping himself completely on the floor. He coughed dryly again.

As minutes passed his internal conflict kept growing. He was starting to get, more than frustrated, desperate. Why weren’t they at the dorms yet? MyungSoo and WooHyun were really late and he hadn’t received any call from them or Hyoan. Did something happen to his donsaengs? Ah, he and his paranoic mind. 

In that moment he perked up from the floor deciding he should give their manager a call. It wasn’t really needed because when he was searching for Hyoan’s number the front door’s lock sounded strongly in the silence of the dorms. Instinctively the leader leaned forward to get a better view from the entrance.

“L-ah, WooHyun. Welcome back.”

A small smile was drawn on SungGyu’s lips when he caught sight of both boys’ faces.

“H-hyung,” MyungSoo’s voice sounded a bit surprised since the lights were out. They didn’t know their leader was in the living room. “What are you doing here?”

“What else would I be doing here?” SungGyu looked at them taking off their shoes. WooHyun hadn’t even turned to give him a glance. It was obvious he was ignoring him.

MyungSoo nodded once. “We’re back.”

“What took you so long? Did the recording go well?” SungGyu asked as he walked to the entrance so he could see them better. He was a bit taken aback by their faces. Both looked rather pale and tired. 

“Yeah, WooHyun-hyung is doing a great job. I’m really pleased with his work,” MyungSoo said sincerely managing to give a kind smile to the younger lead singer who half smiled.

“Really? That’s good to hear,” SungGyu raised his eyebrows with surprise before grinning proudly because of the youngsters. “Well done WooHyun-ah.”

Finally SungGyu’s eyes caught WooHyun’s astonished ones. It was just for a second but the leader knew he had touched the younger boy’s heart. After all, WooHyun loved to be praised.

Mainly by him.

“So you already finished recording.”

“Not really, Hyung was kind of tired and I had to fix some stuff from the song so we decided to wrap it up this Friday,” MyungSoo shrugged while WooHyun stared at him with an unreadable expression. “I’m tired too so I’ll go get some sleep. You should do that too, hyungs.”

Said that MyungSoo palmed gently WooHyun’s shoulder before he left the living room. Now both lead singers were alone. It really didn’t last long since WooHyun ended up escaping from that awkward atmosphere hiding in their bedroom. The sound of their door being shot made SungGyu cringe.  

Usually they got along really well. They didn’t fight everyday like MyungSoo and SungYeol did but whenever they did things ended up being complicated. They didn’t fight with harsh words on the contrary; they ignored each other blocking any way of communication between them. This was worse than speaking out their unconformities. 

SungGyu – being someone that hated being in bad terms with others – always ended up fixing things. Being his or WooHyun’s fault.

A sigh escaped from his lips before he walked to the closed door. He was about to open it but decided to stop. The attitude WooHyun was having made SungGyu feel a bit insecure and bad. He knew he was partly at fault and his conscience never stopped to remind him that. Still the older boy decided to ignore his feelings and WooHyun’s immaturity and fix things. They weren’t kids anymore.

“WooHyun-ah,” SungGyu weakly tried out as he stood on their bedroom’s door not daring to pass until he got a sign from the younger male.

As he thought, he got no response from him. He was obviously being ignored. SungGyu could only take it as a good sign so he walked some steps inside. Then he tried again.

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

WooHyun was well known for his strong personality. He could be all hearts and love, this being his usual good mood but whenever someone managed to make him mad he would end up having this fierce and harsh attitude that was to be feared. This was the main reason why SungGyu had slept the past night outside his bedroom. The vibe WooHyun had released had been really suffocating and the way he threw SungGyu’s pillow outside their bedroom and the way he closed the door left no space for the leader to try and get a small hiatus on their fight. 

This time however WooHyun kept quiet so SungGyu could only suppose he actually got the right to sleep on his bed this time. Maybe the singer wasn’t as mad as yesterday but that idea soon left his mind when he caught a better look of WooHyun’s face thanks to the bed lamp.

He was really pale and even if he was still wearing his make up the bags under his eyes were completely noticeable. It seemed WooHyun’s energy had been extracted from him so obviously he had no energy left to act angry. For a moment SungGyu felt thankful for that. 

“Damn, you look like a panda with those dark circles.” SungGyu half joked trying to get a smile from WooHyun but instead he got a glare. 

Obvioulsy he was in a bad mood.

“Turn off the lights when you get out,” Came WooHyun’s deep and fierce voice. Even if it was tough it carried a tired sound.

The younger male passed by in hopes to reach his bed and get lost in his sleep but SungGyu caught his wrist noticing it was way slimmer than before. He let the thought slip from his mind as their eyes met for the third time.

“What now?” WooHyun hissed but SungGyu didn’t back up.

“I’m sorry."

The phrase was short and direct. SungGyu knew first he had to make his point clear so WooHyun would give him an opening so they could actually talk. As years went by between them, the leader had learnt to decipher the way WooHyun’s confusing mind worked. He was still on it.

“I’m sorry about shouting at you in the music studio,” SungGyu rephrased it when he noticed WooHyun was actually listening to him. “But I’m not sorry about what I said yesterday.”

WooHyun breathed deeply letting his eyes pose on his leader’s soft yet firm grip. Too tired to shout, too tired to fight back.

“I did wrong yelling at you. I was having lots of things on my mind and my day wasn’t the best still I shouldn’t have taken it on you,” SungGyu said sincerely, noticing how the younger boy’s eyes slightly softened. “You do understand why I said that yesterday, right?”

The younger eyes looked to the side as he ran his free hand thru his messed up hair.

“I really need you to give your best and not just try,” SungGyu pulled slightly WooHyun’s arm so he could look at him in the eyes. “I actually ask you that because I know you can go further than that, that you can give more. Because a mediocre attitude won’t make Infinite go higher and I know you, just like me and everyone else, want to make Infinite as great as Shinwa or even Super Junior,” He said with his serious voice. “Tell me if I’m wrong.”

“…You aren’t.” WooHyun finally spoke knowing there was no use in lying. Once again his leader was right. “But I just—”

He didn’t finish his phrase because he didn’t know how to do it. He didn’t know how to explain himself, what he was feeling and his thoughts. He was turning into a mess because everything he had bottled up was finally burring him alive. He couldn’t say a word but his tired orbs were able to speak out. SungGyu could see it under those dark eyelashes.

It had been over a year since he last saw that rare and slight glow in the other boy’s eyes. The first time he saw it, SungGyu didn’t know what they actually meant but now, after some years he knew their real meaning. That didn’t mean he was used to it. The way WooHyun’s eyes shone with that desperate and unique glow was something only SungGyu could see. WooHyun never looked at anyone that way but him. It could be because he relied on him too much or simply because he was his leader. SungGyu didn’t really know. He only knew that those eyes always made him feel nervous but he could handle them. After all, that was his role as the leader, right?

“Let’s get some sleep, okay?” SungGyu simply said letting go of his donsaeng’s wrist, all the time a kind smile was pasted on his lips. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

He pinched gently one of WooHyun’s cheek trying to disappear that glossy look from the boy’s eyes but it didn’t work. SungGyu decided to ignore it for a while and went to grab some pants from his closet. Maybe if he ignored it WooHyun could go back to his usual self but it wasn’t really working since he could feel the singer’s eyes on him.

SungGyu drew a sharp breath when he felt WooHyun’s arms surround his waist from behind. He tensed but ended up relaxing when he felt the younger boy was slightly trembling.

“WooHyun-ah, it’s okay,” SungGyu said with his soft voice that was a complete contrast with the severe one ha had used a while ago. His hands went gently to meet with the boy’s arms, caressing them in a reassuring way. He didn’t know why but WooHyun obviously needed some comfort.

“I’m sorry, Hyung…”

The hair from his back rose the moment he felt WooHyun’s breath on his neck. It felt so warmth against his cold skin. SungGyu controlled himself before shook slightly his head. There was no need for WooHyun to apologise now.

“It’s just…” The younger boy breathed his words as he delicately brushed his nose against SungGyu’s nape. Finally he was opening up. “I’ve been so stressed…”

There it was.

The phrase that broke loose everything between the two them. The phrase that gave WooHyun permission to cross the line and invade SungGyu’s personal space.

“You’ve been doing great, WooHyun.”

SungGyu didn’t push him away. He simply kept moving gently his thumbs on the other’s skin trying to calm the younger boy.

“I can barely handle it,” WooHyun’s voice trembled. His grip was getting tighter on SungGyu’s stripped sweater.

“You’re strong. You can do it,” SungGyu said even if he didn’t know what was actually going on with WooHyun.

The singer didn’t really share his worries with others. He always tended to bottle them up just like MyungSoo. Sometimes, whenever SungGyu noticed that, he would make WooHyun tell him. It wasn’t healthy for WooHyun to keep everything inside. Usually SungGyu paid attention to each of the members but since SungYeol’s scandal and their fight he had disconnected himself from . SungGyu could only blame himself for the way WooHyun was looking right now. If only he had paid more attention to him.

He wanted to know what was actually going on with WooHyun but he knew the singer wasn’t going to tell him a thing because of his actual state. There was nothing SungGyu could do but comfort him.

“You’re turning into a great Idol, WooHyun.”

SungGyu kept saying nice words to the younger male knowing they made WooHyun feel better. Slowly he moved his head to the side so he could see the other's tired face. 

The delightful glow on WooHyun’s eyes was still there and SungGyu was looking directly into them with his unwavering eyes. 

SungGyu knew what was going to happen next and he was ready for it.

He just had to keep on talking.

“I’m so proud of you…”

Before SungGyu could say something else his lips ended up being captured by the ones of WooHyun.