I Don't Have The Ability To Do Things For Myself...

I never really did mind being this “excessively kind”. Others may even see it as stupidity. Well, maybe it is—but that’s just who I am. There’s really nothing much we could do about it. It just that…it sometimes sucks when people abuse my kindness. Hey, I have feelings too. And I tell you, it doesn’t feel good being used. Not one bit.

 

But I am a steady person ‘cause I always try to stay positive, no matter what.

Okay. I admit it, I admit it. I’m stupid.

 

Happy?

 

I was heading home to study for a test, when…

 

“Watch out!”

 

Huh? What was that?

 

I looked to my left and saw a very familiar guy suddenly jumping right in front of me, blocking the ball that was supposed to hit me directly in the head. And the guy who literally saved my face was who I least expected. It was Kim Heechul.

 

“ARE YOU STUPID?????!!!!!”

 

I did say I was in my introduction, right?

 

“YA!!!”

 

He finally stood up, but he was furious. I was on the other hand too busy staring at his angry face. He’s even more handsome up-close. Oh no, delete that. Beautiful is the right word.

 

And then, a really, really cute lower classman approached us, running as fast as he could with that worried expression.

 

“Omo! Ottokhe?! Mianimnida!” he says, tremendously apologetic “Min Ah-sunbae, gwenchana?” ...and trying to check if I had any bruises or whatnot.

 

“Of course she is!” Heechul angrily pointed at me while he placed his other hand on his waist. He looked just like a whining ahjuma.  “Didn’t you see who got hit by the ball?!”

 

 

“Haha! Well, hyung…it was your entirely your choice to block the ball for her.”

 

“Aish! It’s cause I can’t stand stupid people! And she’s a girl for Christ’ sake! Am I supposed to stand and watch?!”

 

“Alright, chill. We get your point.” Siwon, another classmate appeared, tapping him on the shoulder. “Just please don’t drag God into this.”

 

“Aish!” Heechul removed Siwon’s hand on his shoulder and left. “I’m so done here…”

 

That one was uncalled for, I should’ve said something.  And so, I found myself quickly bowing to them and then saying something unnecessary…

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Uh, I’m sorry I caused trouble! When this happens again, please just let the ball hit me!”

 

Okay. I’m not gonna defend myself anymore. I really said that.

 

Then, the momentary silence was broke by laughter.

 

“Hahahahaha!”

 

“Uaah... You sure have a sense of humor, sunbae!”

 

I felt blood rising up my face. I didn’t get hit by the ball, mind you.

 

So yeah, Siwon and Sungmin laughed, but Heechul didn’t. In fact, his eyes formed daggers. He alternately gazed at both Siwon and Sungmin as they enjoy my sincere apology speech. I got scared when the ‘daggers’ were suddenly thrown at me.

 

“Ya! Are you insulting me???” he stepped closer.

 

“N-no…” I convince him by vigorously shaking my head.

 

“I saved you and this is how you thank me?!” now he’s in front of me.

 

Oh, no. This is trouble.

 

I looked down as he scolded me some more in his ahjuma mode. Then, I saw an abrasion on his arm. It looked fresh.

 

Reflex told me to drag him out of there and bring him into the clinic.

 

“Y-Ya! Wae gu rae???!!!” he tried to resist.

 

 “You’re wounded.” I simply said, and then I started to drag him again with my real force. He may look strong, but judging by the fact that I could drag him, he was pretty overcome-able.

 

I heard Siwon and Sungmin’s laugh again when they saw me dragging Heechul almost effortlessly.

 

Then, we arrived at the clinic.

 

“Ya…” he stared at me like a scared kid as I quietly prepare the cleaning and the actual aid.

 

I took the bottle of antibiotic and some cotton balls.

 

“Wait..anything but that…I…

 

 

 

 

…AAAAHHH!”

 

 

 

Nah, he overreacted. It didn’t really hurt that much. He just assumed it would. I tried to stop my amusement before I break into a smile—or worse, even laughter—before he thinks that I‘m insulting him again.

 

“Ya…” he’s back with staring at me like a kid, but now less scared, and almost pouting. “You don’t have the right to be mad at me. I saved you.”

 

“What?” I slightly creased my forehead while I drape some dressing over his wound. “I’m not mad…”

 

I felt that he was still looking at me with that kid-like expression. I can’t help but smile.

 

“As people like you can’t stand stupid people like me, I can’t stand people like you, injured…” I paused to think. “or…any other type of people for that matter…’cause … I don’t really discriminate.”

 

There was again a momentary silence.

 

“There, you’re done.”

 

I let go of his arm and I looked at him. He looked confused, trying to absorb what I was saying a while ago. He didn’t even realize that I had let go of his arm already.

 

"Heechul-shii…”

 

“Huh?” his eyes and mouth widened a bit, inquisitive. He finally snapped back to reality. “Oh…” He looked at his dressed arm, “It’s done....”

 

I started cleaning up the stuff I used for this session. So glad to have helped again. Feels really good to do this stuff.

 

Heechul stood up to leave.

 

 

“T-t…thanks!”

 

He ran outside.

  

I just smiled, continuing with my business.

 

Suddenly, the infirmary door opened. I thought it was Heechul again. A smile instantly appeared on my face.

 

When I saw the person who entered the clinic who was staring at me with that cold pair of eyes, my smile automatically faded.

 

Oh. It was just Lee Yeon Woo.

 

The object of this stupid one-sided love I’ve been stuck to for three damn years now.