This chap is dedicated to Emz.
Emz, if you're reading this, applers are worried for your health. We're praying that you'll get well very soon. =)
Everything seemed surreal.
I flipped the channel once more and Jiyong's face came on the screen once again. That guy on TV was once my roommate and lover. <*sigh> How can I forget him?
I guess he's really fed up with me. At first he was sending me loads of text messages, asking me where I am and begging me to talk to him. But I refused since I was still blinded by my anger that time. I even sent him a message saying that it's so difficult to have a celebrity as a boyfriend. That's when the messages stopped coming.
It's been a week and he didn't even look for me. Did he really take that Jiyong Coupon seriously? Or is it because of that message I sent? Gosh, I'm such a fool! I was really furious with what Kiko said and didn't think straight. I immediately moved out and found myself crying my eyes out in front of the Super Junior dorm. They took me in without asking any more questions.
Two days ago, Seungri (who's forever loyal to Jiyong) contacted me and explained things. Although it boggles my mind how Seungri knew that Jiyong slept with Kiko before he even met me, it still doesn't change the fact that Jiyong didn't cheat on me. But still, he slept with her! I mean, I always knew that he had experienced it before with other women but to actually meet one whom he did it with still pinches my heart.
Seungri told me that Jiyong pleaded to President Yang Hyun Suk to send a couple of YG's security staffs to guard me inconspicuously which probably explains why I wasn't mobbed on the streets. And he also told me that the day when I moved out of the apartment is the same day that Jiyong was about to move back again. He said that Jiyong asked President Yang Hyun Suk to void his contract with YG Entertainment and that he's willing to pay the penalties as long as he can live with me again. But the moronic me broke up with him on that same day because of jealousy. It turns out Kiko was lying and Seungri even told me that Kiko is staying at a hotel, not in YG Building with Jiyong. I should've listened to him first instead of jumping into conclusions.
I wanted to go back to Jiyong's apartment, to be with him again, to patch things up, but I'm scared. He's not contacting me anymore, that means he doesn't want me back, right? I can't blame him if he feels like that. I only caused him troubles. And honestly, he doesn't deserve an incapable girl like me. He deserves someone better.
I fixed my gaze on TV as Jiyong and the rest of Big Bang went in the middle of the stage to get their award for their new single. Tabi graciously thanked all the people who supported them. When the mic was passed to Jiyong, his voice send shivers down my body. I terribly miss him. His whispers before we sleep, his soft kisses, his touch, his scent. It's like a faraway dream. As if all of those never happened.
I nibbled on my lips as a familiar pain hit my chest. I fought back the tears as I stared at his face. I really love him. I love him more than the love of all his fangirls combined. But I already lost him. And now all I can do is to watch him on the sidelines...just like a common fangirl.
Everything seemed surreal.
I looked around the apartment and all I can think of is her. I don't even remember the time when I was living alone. My memories of this place is filled with Dara. I opened the drawer where I keep all of Dara's post-it notes. There was a stabbing pain in my chest as I looked at them one by one. When I lay down on the bed, I can still smell her sweet scent. I miss her.
When Hyung told me what Dara did for me, I was really proud. 'That's my girl', I thought. I think I've consumed two stacks of blank CDs to copy the infomercial she made. And the plan she devised to completely stop Lee Jongwan was brilliant.
My whole world crumbled that day when she broke up with me. I later found out that Kiko said some things causing Dara to get mad. Kiko apologized multiple times but I couldn't even look at her. I knew she helped me a lot on the plagiarism case but she really crossed the line with what she did. A day after, she flew back to Japan without saying goodbye.
The day that Dara broke up with me is the same day that I was about to move back in with her. I was going to surprise her but I was the one who was surprised to see an empty apartment with a coupon on the bed asking me not to look for her. All my struggles against Hyun Suk Hyung while trying to win the plagiarism case became useless.
Of course I tried to look for her. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. I texted her endlessly but all I got is one message saying how hard it is to have me as a boyfriend. Then I later found out that she's living in the Super Junior dorm. With Donghae. I was about to barge in the SuJu dorm when I saw her on the door, waving goodbye to Donghae. She was smiling. Then he hugged her. I was paralyzed on my spot. My chest constricted as I looked at them. So she really meant it when she said she's breaking up with me, huh? And she really doesn't want me to look for her anymore just like what she wrote on the coupon? Is it because it's so difficult to be with me?
I walked away. My heart is becoming heavier at each of my step. It was torture. I really love her. I love her so much that I was scared to face her. I don't want to hear her say that she doesn't want to see me anymore......because it's hard to stay with me. Or because some other guy already took my place.
This fool!! Aigooo!
I shook my head as I found my DaRabbit sitting in front of the computer while staring longingly at the screen, watching Jiyong's videos. Somebody should seriously smack some senses on her head. Where is Bom when we needed her?
The rabbit and the dragon. How can these two complicate things at such an inconceivable level!!
I looked around SuJu's dorm and found a bunch of unconscious half- bodies lying on the floor. Oh mannnnnn, Jiyong will flip if he see this. Speaking of that other moron, I tried to talk to him but he just wouldn't listen!!
One of the unconscious bodies stirred and suddenly bolted up while rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Noona!", he squeaked. I realized that the sleepy puddle of mess is none other than Eunhyuk.
"Neh?", Dara turned to him.
"Kekekeke, just checking if you're still here", he replied and collapsed unceremoniously on the floor again to go back to sleep. GGAAAAHHH!! Why is my rabbit living among these beasts!!
Just like what I usually do, I began counting the Super Junior members lying on the floor. Everytime I visit Dara, I can't help but count them.
"Nine", I mumbled.
"Donghae went out for a bit with Lee Teuk and Heechul. Kyuhyun is here, maybe he's upstairs.", she paused the video on the part where Jiyong is smiling and stared at the computer screen.
"Yah!", I lightly kicked the foot of the swivel chair where Dara is sitting.
"Move back with Jiyong. Or if you want, you can move in with me", I said. The bionic ears of Kyuhyun, who was inside the bathroom, were immediately activated.
"MINHO HYUNG!! I-HEARD-YOU!! STOP SNATCHING DARA NOONA FROM US!!", he screamed.
I rolled my eyes and twitched my lips in irritation. Dara tugged my hand and gave me a tight-lipped smile.
"I'll move out next week. I just want to stay here for a couple more days to distract myself.", she somberly said while looking directly at me.
"DARA NOONA!! I-HEARD-YOU!! YOU'RE NOT MOVING OUT! NO WAY!", Kyuhyun's voice is rapidly climbing up my list of Korea's Most Irritating Things.
"You have to talk to Jiyong.", I said but she immediately avoided the subject. She stood up and went to the kitchen. I followed her and continued nagging that the two of them should talk things out.
"Minho, he's already fed up with me.", she reasoned.
"Both of you are just waiting for each other!", I exclaimed frustratedly. My goodness! My skin is getting dry because of them!
She just lowered her head and played with her hands as she sat on the dining table. I sighed heavily and leaned on the kitchen door. Then, I saw Kyuhyun getting out of the bathroom and hopping merrily towards the living room. When he didn't see Dara where she was supposed to be, a commotion of epic proprtions erupted.
"WHERE IS DARA NOONA?!!", Kyuhyun screamed on top of his lungs with bulging eyes as he scanned the other members.
What transpires afterwards is something that should never be seen by any of their fans. It was pure chaos.
All the sleeping members quickly jumped on their feet, not even bothering to wear a shirt. The whole dorm transformed into a freaking circus as the SuJu retards looked for her in FULL PANIC mode. Ten idols losing their mind while searching for Dara as if they've just misplaced her somewhere. Yesung ran upstairs in full speed, knocking all things that blocked his path while continuously yelling Dara's name. Ryeowook was on the verge of tears as he opened all the closet, loudly praying that she's in there. Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk were doing a good job ransacking the whole dorm. It was a sight.
"Hey guys, Dara is here in the kitchen", I announced. I would've let them continue flipping the house upside down but I'm already getting embarrassed by their actions.
All ten of them immediately dashed towards the kitchen, pushing me aside roughly that I almost rolled over the floor.
There was a collective sigh of relief as they saw her sitting calmly on the kitchen table.
"I'm just fixing myself some snack", she said while showing her sandwich.
"Whew! I thought Dara Noona saw hyung's p0rn and abandoned us", Kyuhyun exclaimed.
"What?", she curiously asked as nine big hands quickly covered Kyuhyun's mouth (and entire face) to shut him up.
"Corn!! Corn. He said he wants corn!", Yesung tried to salvage the situation.
I shook my head in disbelief. I am seriously fighting the urge to take a video of these monkeys and post it in the internet.
GAAAHHH!! WHY AM I HERE?!!
Okay, I tried to go to Jiyong's apartment to talk to him but I chickened out. I mean, what if he rejects me? I will surely bleed right there and then if he does that! Ottokae!
So, I went back to the SuJu dorm in the same miserable state as when I left. I was lounging on the doorstep like a lost puppy when Donghae tossed me inside their van. I wasn't even able to ask where we're going because I was busy trying to squeeze myself in the entangled limbs of his other members. GOSH! Super Junior's van is like a daycare center in wheels!!
Every available space is occupied plus all of them can't remain still! They were bickering, throwing stuffs at each other, singing loudly and worst of all, farting. And they're even announcing it, like "I, Shindong, solemnly declare that I'm about to fart". GAAHHHDD!! I was breathing through my mouth for the entire journey! The stench just lingered inside eventhough we already opened the windows!
Donghae didn't tell me that we were going to M! Countdown. And he didn't tell me that Big Bang is scheduled to perform as well! OMG!! I'm not prepared to face Jiyong yet!
But since I'm here, I might as well watch him perform. My heart sank as I recalled the last time I went to a music program. We were fine then. What's happening to us? I miss him. I miss him so much.
"Pretty noona, watch us backstage!", Kyuhyun grabbed my arm but I wiggled free. He pouted his lips and his brows immediately connected - a sure sign of his impending tantrums.
"Maknae, I'll sit with the audience so I can watch you. Okay?"
"You'll sit with the ELFs?", his eyes twinkled. I nodded my head and with that, he bounced happily out of the van.
"Omma, wear this scarf. Even if the rumor between you and Jiyong is already settled, you can't be too sure", Donghae handed me a blue scarf with his name knitted near the hem.
"Arasso", I hopped off the van and circled around the music studio to line up at the audience entrance.
The loud thumping of my heart prevented me from taking another step as I caught sight of a fan waving a banner with Jiyong's picture in it. I mentally kicked myself. Just a picture of him and I became motionless? How much more if I see him in person?
I sighed heavily and prayed solemnly for someone to help me get through this music show ordeal. The heavens answered my prayer in an instant.
I slowly turned my head to the source of the voice and lo and behold, crazy fangirl is beside me.
God, why her of all people?
"It's you! I saw the news! I knew it, you're really an ELF! I fought for you on the online war, telling the haters that you and GD are not living together because you're a hardcore ELF!", she chirped.
How her mind works is a complete mystery to me. I suddenly had the urge of bursting her bubble by telling her that I'm a VIP. I rid my mind of evil thoughts and tried to concentrate on the problem at hand.
"Ssshh, I'm trying to be inconspicuous. I wanted to watch Super Junior without anybody recognizing me", I said. Her eyes widen and enthusiastically nodded her head like she has been given an espionage mission.
"Don't worry, I'll help you. Just stay close with me", she whispered while darting her eyes all over the perimeter.
"Uhm...okay", I replied. Yup, she's crazy. It has been proven once again.
The show started and it was Big Bang's turn to perform. Just like before, I was seated beside crazy fangirl. Funny how things turned out. Now, I'm not at the wrong seat. I don't have to hide because Jiyong will surely not be looking for me. When Big Bang went out of the stage, my heart almost shot out of my chest. I stared at him longingly, following his every moves.
Sadness is beginning to envelope me once again when a loud sound almost blasted my eardrums, waking me up from my dramatic trance.
I turned my head and almost bumped on crazy fangirl's face! She was singing loudly on my ears! GAHD!
I looked at her wearily. She is NOT helping at all!
Before I knew it, all the performances has already ended. I was about to leave when I received a text from Donghae telling me to follow the security staff. The security staff came and asked me to go with them backstage.
Crazy fangirl was giving me two thumbs up like we've accomplished a mission. Oh what the heck.
"Do you wanna come with me? Your bias is Kyuhyun, right?", I asked.
"REALLY?!! OMO! Thank you!", she excitedly stood up and followed me.
When we reached backstage, I asked Kyuhyun to take care of crazy fangirl. I bade her goodbye as I saw Donghae waving his hand, asking me to come with him. When I reached him, he took my hand and dragged me somewhere.
"Where are we going?", I asked.
"You want to talk to Jiyong, right? They're in their dressing room", he answered. I immediately stopped on my tracks and wiggled free from his grasp.
"I'm scared to face him", I said as the gnawing feeling in my stomach was back once again. I bit my lips nervously and was about to spin around but Donghae held my hand firmly.
"Omma, I don't want you to experience the feeling of regret. Trust me, I've been there. It's a sh!tty feeling."
I looked at him pleadingly. I'm too scared.
"I'll be beside you if you need me", he started walking while I trailed behind him. We were a few steps away from Big Bang's dressing room when Jiyong came out. He turned his head and met my gaze. My grip on Donghae's hand tightened.
"J-Jiyong...Uhm...We need to talk", I said and swallowed hard.
He looked at me like I'm the most uninteresting creature on earth. My heart plummeted to the pits of hell. He then started walking away from us.
"YAH! She wants to talk to you, didn't you hear her?", Donghae was about to grab Jiyong's arm.
"APPA! Stop it, let's go", I tugged his sleeve.
I can hardly breathe as I watched his retreating back. A pang of excruciating pain engulfed my heart.
Dara was one big crying mess after the incident.
Since it's embarrassing to show her pitiful state to the SuJu members and since Bom's parents are at home, she had no choice but to seek refuge at Yu Hee's apartment. Minho's place is out of the question since it's just a building away from GD's, and who knows what she might do if she suddenly have a sanity lapse?
Yu Hee immediately called for reinforcements.
"Yeoboseyo? Bom? Dara's here. Waterworks. Come quickly with Minho", she looked at Dara who is sitting at the couch while weeping quietly.
"Omo! How bad?", Bom asked.
"My apartment is already flooding.", she replied.
"I'm on my way"
By the time Bom and Minho came, Dara is halfway done to burying herself in a mountain of scrunched up tissues. She loudly blew her nose and added it to the pile. Her whole face is already swollen from too much crying. And all Yu Hee could do is pat her back since she's not very good at comforting people.
"Help", Yu Hee looked at the newly arrived guests.
"Dara-ah..what happened?", Bom hugged Dara and d her arms. She began telling her tragic tale in between sobs.
"Then I told him that we need to talk. Do you know what he said?", Dara exclaimed incredulously. Bom flinched. She was kinda afraid to ask so she opted to stay quiet.
"Nothing! He just stared at me and walked away!", a bitter sob escaped once again. She buried her face on her palms and cried miserably.
Minho sighed and exchanged glances with Yu Hee and Bom.
"Just tell me which of Jiyong's bones to break. I've just finished training in martial arts because of my new drama", he seriously said.
"Hmmm...I think I have a better idea", Yu Hee placed the tip of her forefinger on her chin while contemplating.
"What do you have in mind?", he asked.
"The shooting of Big Bang's MV is this Saturday. I can get Dara to be one of the extras. We'll glam her up and break Jiyong."
"That's a horrible idea! I'll shatter into pieces if I see him again!", Dara wailed.
"No Dara. You don't understand. If Jiyong doesn't love you anymore, like what you claim, he would tell it straight to your face. But he ignored you instead of talking to you. His pride is getting the better of him so we'll break him by signing you up as one of the extras. I saw how he got overly jealous when another guy is around you. Trust me, this will work. I've known him since we were kids. He will go crazy since the club scene of that MV is full of hot girls and guys.", Yu Hee explained.
"Yu Hee, any chance of getting me in as well? I'm a bit worried for Dara", Bom interjected.
"Sure. I'll sign both of you as extras in Big Bang MV. Make sure to stir things up", Yu Hee smiled connivingly at Bom.
"You bet, I will!", she replied.
"Bom, I really don't think I'll be able to face him again. Let's just stop this. I'll try to forget about him", Dara covered as a fresh set of tears fell down her eyes.
"Aigoo, look at you. Just this one last fight Dara. If he doesn't budge, then we'll stop. Okay?", Minho wiped her tears.
"B-But...I don't have anything to wear", Dara lifted her gaze.
"You do. And it's the perfect time to use it", Yu Hee smirked. Bom nodded her head in agreement.
(Dara's Little Black Dress - The black dress is made of soft fabric that shows the contours of her body. It falls above her knee, showing her thighs. The upper part is being held by tiny strings wrapped around the neck so the neckline hang loosely like it's about to fall off.)
My heart was beating erratically. I was sweating profusely despite the cold air. We were now in front of the club where the MV shooting will take place.
"How are you feeling?", Bom asked. I gawked at her.
How am I feeling? Let me see. Two of my toes are already dead because of these high heels; thanks to the low cut of my dress, I'm afraid to move in fear of flashing my tiny s for the whole world to see; and I feel like I'm about to vomit any minute. Yeah, I'm perfectly fine.
"Nevermind, don't answer that", she said after a minute of silence passed between us.
"Let's just go home", I pleaded.
"We're already here. Come on, let's go inside"
I exhaled loudly and braced myself for battle. I stepped forward and retraced my steps immediately while hopping in place, biting my fingernails.
Oh gosh! Jiyong is going to freak if he finds out I'm one of the extras! How much more if he sees me dressed so scantily! He is surely gonna cook me. But wait...yeah, he doesn't care about me anymore.
"Dara-ah, let's just get this over with.", Bom extended her hand and I accepted it reluctantly.
"I really don't know what I'm going to do there"
"Easy. Just strut that body, girl! And let him drool!", Bom slapped my playfully.
We both chuckled and the tension that I was feeling somehow decreased. When we finally entered the club, it was a whole different world. I had to squint my eyes to adjust to the dim light. I then scanned the club and saw a lot of good-looking specimens cramped inside! My hottie alarm is going off crazily as I feasted my eyes on the hunks within the area.
In just a few seconds, Bommie totally abandoned me!
I huffed in frustration and tried to find a spot while waiting for the MV shooting to start. Fortunately, Big Bang has not yet arrived. My heart is not yet ready to face him. I need a few more minutes to psych myself.
I stood near a closed door and near the bar where a few of the extras are already hooking up. There were a lot of hot chicks among them. Tch. How can I grab Jiyong's attention if I'm next to this girl who looks like she just stepped out of a magazine cover?
I felt a painful tug in my heart as I realized how far-fetched Yu Hee's idea is. Jiyong will not even glance at my direction with all these beautiful girls here. How can I make him jealous? I think I'm the one who'll get jealous first with this amount of pretty girls. <*sigh>
"Hi there gorgeous", I turned my head and saw a HOT guy looking in my direction.
Gorgeous? Is he talking to me? I looked around to see if there are any girls that he's trying to call. Oh there, the lady in red dress near me. I took one step backward to let him pass. But he just stood there. Eh?
"Hey gorgeous, want something to drink?", he asked.
ME???? Whooahh. Am I being hit on by this handsome human being?
He tilted his head cutely and showed his glass. My gosh!! Cuteness overload!
"Uhm.. Yeah, I'll just get a cocktail", I said.
"No, I'll get it for you. Stay there.", he smiled at me. The moment he turned his back to get my drink, another guy approached me.
"Hi, are you alone?", he asked.
"Ermm..I'm with my friend"
Then another one...
"Hi woman of my dreams who materialized before me"
Okay, that was creepy.
The guy who first approached me finally came with my drink on his hand. The other guys still hovered around me as they try to strike a conversation. Then the music started playing and we can barely hear each other so I just smiled at them awkwardly.
"Thanks for the drink", I told the hunk who seemed to be a really nice guy.
"Huh?", he asked and leaned forward to better hear me.
"I said, thanks for the drink", I repeated.
"Oh no problem! Anything for a gorgeous lady", we chuckled and clicked our glasses. Okay, so far so good. I think I can do this.
Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.
"Do you know what time Big Bang is coming?", I cupped my hands on my mouth since the music is becoming louder.
He stared at me, creased his forehead and snickered. I pouted my lips in confusion.
"You're so cute", he pinched my cheeks and leaned forward.
"They're here already. Didn't you notice the crowd huddled up right there?", he winked and pointed to my left.
I slowly turned my gaze towards the direction he's pointing. As soon as I met Jiyong's eyes, my good mood was completely destroyed. I can feel my heart drumming loudly in my chest. Any chance of happy thoughts vanished into thin air.
Oh well. Just as I predicted, my workload increased so I'll be busy. I don't know when I'll be able to post the last chap. Last chap?!! *sob sob
It was a fun rollercoaster ride with you guys. Please stay tuned until the final chapter.
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