So here I am scrubbing the floors instead of spending my precious time for activities that will bring money to the company. All thanks to that vomitting ahjumma who must've been living inside a cave. I can't believe she doesn't have any idea who I was.
Gahd! The stench won't go away! I've been cleaning her mess since this morning and it still smells as if someone killed three cows in here.
I stopped for a while and went to the window to breathe some fresh air. The sun is about to set. Great, I just spent my whole rest day scrubbing. I sighed heavily. How can that thin of a girl puke so much????!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!
However, it actually is a good thing that she doesn't recognize me. No one knows that I'm living here. This is my sanctuary. A place away from the screaming fans who can get insanely attached to you sometimes.
YG Hyung got this apartment for me. The other Big Bang members have their own apartments as well. He intentionally didn't hire any cleaning staffs for us because he values independence and self-reliance. Which is actually fine by me...UNTIL TODAY!! Good heavens, the stench!! THE STENCH!!
The idea of burning my apartment is very tempting right now. Damn, even the flies wouldn't dare enter this place!
I can't help but wonder if she has some loose screws up there. What is up with the humongous thick-rimmed eyeglasses from the dinosaur era? And don't even get me started with her clothes. Her outfit will upset a lot of designers! She's wearing this gigantic blouse and an ultra-long skirt that falls on her ankles. I swear four people can fit on those clothes. Doesn't she know her body size? My curtains would've done a better job!
Ahjumma girl, wherever you are, I do hope you are having a bad day as I am.
[Author's Note: Oh, you have no idea GD. You have no idea....har har har <*evil laugh>]
I grabbed the magazine that Bom was holding. My hands are trembling as I scanned the pages one by one. This CANNOT be happening!
No. No no No No No. NO BLEEPING WAYYYYY!!!!!!! How can that guy be Kwon Jiyong?! This is a conspiracy!
I pulled my hair with both hands and stared at the sky with my mouth gaping open, unable to believe that this is actually happening to me.
Wait. Surely my eyes are just playing tricks on me, right? Right?! I blinked twice and opened my eyes really really wide. Okay, let's try this again. I brought the magazine near my face that it almost touched my nose. I'm quite aware that Bom is weirdly looking at me, but I don't care! Gahd!
Well he's actually quite <*cough> handsome <*cough>. But that's beside the point. It's really HIM!!! I practically trashed his apartment, GYAHHHH! And I even threatened him with my non-existent karate moves! How would you expect me to invite him to be my date now? He would probably cut me in half if he sees me again!
I felt raw fear enveloped my body. I'm DOOMED! I'm fighting a battle that I'm undoubtedly gonna lose. I better prepare myself to kiss a guy in front of the whole university. Did I ever mention that I haven't actually kissed anyone??? So my first kiss is going to mark the embarrassment of my entire existence on this planet, amen.
Bom watched Dara's amusing reactions as she scans the magazine where Kwon Jiyong is featured. Any moment now, Dara's head is about to explode. She is deforming her face at each page while silently murmuring something.
Dara stopped and looked closely at a particular picture where GD is doing his photoshoot for Vogue. She crinkled her nose as she stared at it, unable to comprehend why GD is wearing so much make up and looking like a genie.
Dara: By the way, is he gay?
Bom looked at Dara with a mixture of awe and disbelief.
Bom: Is he gay??? Is she freaking serious?
Bom: What made you say that??
Dara: Here, take a look at this. What's with this weird looking outfit? And what's with the flamboyant makeup? Ulk!
Bom: I can't believe I'm hearing that from you. Will you look at yourself? Can you please tell me where you got all your clothes? Whoever made those clothes of yours should spend his life in prison!
Dara: Hmph! This isn't about me.
Bom: This IS about you, you dumba$s! If you weren't so proud not to take the bet, you wouldn't need to research about Kwon Jiyong. No, he is not gay. Haven't you heard of Avant Garde? This is innovative fashion that's why he has that kind of get-up! FYI, he's tagged as Korea's Most Desirable Bachelor. Why did you agree on that stupid bet anyway??
Dara: BE-CAUSE they were so annoying! They think they're all high and mighty and they started making fun of me, saying that I can't get any dates and that I should just stay home and knit! GrrrrRR!!
Bom: And you let them get in your nerves? How immature of you!
Dara: <*sigh> I know I should've just backed out. But my pride got the better of me. The whole class were against me and I want to prove them wrong!
Bom: Well, Dara, I sure hope you have a plan of some sort coz I don't know how you'll be able to pull this out. And by the way, I'll be going to the States for a week, I've already filed my leave of absence. My flight is tonight, I have to be at the airport around 10PM. Just wait for me to come back before you do any drastic moves, alright?
Dara: You know me, I won't do anything that will draw attention to myself.
Bom: That was true until yesterday! The last time you made a decision on your own, you got yourself on this sh!tty situation where you have to invite this person as your date and it turns out he's a celebrity. Then you drank a crapload of alcohol and left a trail of vomit in the whole city of Seoul!!!!!!!! Then today, you got the whole university watching you because of yet another brilliant idea of agreeing on raising the stakes. Is that NOT drawing attention to yourself???? <*SCREAMS>
Dara covered her ears as Bom continued exposing her tonsils out, screaming at her like there's no tomorrow. Jeez!
Dara: Will you please lower your volume or else, North Korea might think they're being attacked and release their nukes to fry us all.
Bom did a sharp intake of oxygen. She has to calm herself. She is so close to clobbering Dara right now. They've been friends like forever but sometimes, even the smartest psychologists will not be able to decipher what's going on inside that thick skull of hers.
Bom: Just follow me and stay put! Don't do anything stupidER than what you've already done!
Dara: Fine. It's not as if I can do anything at this point. <*sigh>
Bom: Actually, there is one thing that you're capable of doing. You can make the situation a lot WORSE than it already is!!
Dara just stared at the fuming Bom. If she tells Bom now that it already is worse than she actually thinks, she will probably never see the light of day again. So Dara chose to shut up and decided NOT to tell Bom that GD actually lives at the building beside hers and that her trail of vomit is scattered all over his place, too. She'll just tell her when Bom comes back from the States. Yep, that might probably a good decision. At least better than facing the wrath of Bom for the second time this day.
I was walking back towards my apartment building. I stopped and looked at the building beside mine where Kwon Jiyong a.k.a GD lives and sighed heavily. How can I screw things up in just a span of 24 hours?!
I took one last look at his building. Oh well, at least I know where he lives. That alone makes the task a lot easier. The problem is how am I going to approach him given that he would probably want to fry my internal organs after what I've done.
I knew the feeling of cleaning up your place with all my deadly pukes sprinkled at every corner you can imagine. It was not a very pleasant task. I did that before when I trashed my apartment the night of my birthday. Even if I already cleaned it, the smell was hovering inside my apartment for a week - like a fart inside an elevator. Yup, he probably hates me alright.
I looked at my watch, it's already 11PM. I spent my whole night helping Bom to pack her things then I saw her off at the airport. Crap, I forgot to borrow money from her! I haven't paid my rent for 2 months! Omma is also in a tight spot that's why she can't give me any.
I just wish that my landlady will still give me some leeway. She sure was pretty pissed off when I failed to pay my rent last month. If she decides to throw me out of my apartment within this week, I would probably end up on the streets since Bom is not here. I wouldn't wanna go home to Busan either, I don't want to worry my Omma and Appa.
I work as a waitress in a bar and the pay is actually good. But given the circumstances I'm in, I have to find an additional part-time job. Bom suggested before to just move in with her but I'm not that thick-faced to accept the offer since Bom is also living with her family. Her Appa won't let her have an apartment of her own until she graduates from college and find a stable job. Bom actually envies me since I'm living alone. If only she knew how big of a headache it is to do everything on your own, she would've probably think twice.
Anyhow, I don't wanna think about that. My head is about to explode because of all these problems pummeling my life. Surely, my landlady won't just.....
My whole body froze when I saw what's in front of my apartment door. OH EFFING HELL!!!!!!!!! All of my things are piled up outside my door! I hurriedly ran towards my apartment and punched the code. It won't open! Then I saw the sign posted on my door, it's a notice from the landlady. That old hag!!!! According to the sign, I was already notified 2 weeks prior to the eviction and somebody already got the place and will be moving in tomorrow. HOLY CRAP!!! I ran all the way down to the first floor where the mailboxes are and opened mine. There it is - the notification letter. I just wasn't able to read it because I wasn't paying attention to my mailbox. |=uCkk**$%@@3!!! HOLY CRAPP!!!!
My mind literally went blank. WHAT DO I DO NOW??!!
My body moved on its own. Perhaps my body knows that he cannot rely to my brain anymore. I grabbed the important things from my pile of stuffs. I'll just get my other personal belongings later. Then my feet moved towards the next building, Apartment Building 22. The next thing I knew, I was standing in front of Apartment 401. I knocked on the door. I can feel that somebody was looking on the peephole.
I shivered in fear as the door slowly opens and revealed the not-so-happy Kwon Jiyong. The words 'GET LOST' is practically written all over his face.
I don't know what has gotten into me but I exclaimed all these in one breath without any pauses, <*inhale> "Hi I'm Sandara Park. I live on the next building until today since I was evicted by the landlady. I'm sorry for what I did last night. By the way, may I stay here tonight?" <*exhale>
I find it amazing that the first time we met, I left my puke all over his place and for our second meeting, I'm asking him to take me in for the night. Awesome, right?
I didn't know telepathy actually works until today because I can clearly hear his thoughts. His mind said "YOU ARE A FCKING RETARD". Yes Mr. Kwon Jiyong, I most certainly am. I'm one DESPERATE retard.