So this is how it feels like to be an animal in the zoo. With everyone staring at us, I felt like a monkey in a cage. I half-expect someone to give me a banana and ask me to do somersaults.
I looked at the person in front of me. Dang, how can he be so cool just sitting there with his white shirt and bonnet? <*sigh> He is sooo awesome.
Jiyong opened the lunchbox and pushed the food to me. I started eating timidly, my eyes darting all over the place as I take one bite. Jiyong started to laugh.
"Yah, I didn't know you can restrain yourself from swallowing this whole lunch in just one go. Stop being too conscious and just eat like you usually do", he whispered. Easy for you to say! It's not your life on the line here!
He then picked up one slice of kimbap with his chopsticks and tried to feed it to me! OMO!! He has gone I-N-S-A-N-E!! Does he even realize where he is? His forehead creased as he tried to urge me to open my mouth. I heard the girls around us gasped in surprise.
"Come on, AAhhhh!", he said as if we're just in our apartment's kitchen. Aigooo.
"No thanks, I'd rather keep my life. I'm sure fans are gonna go apesh!t! Im going to get bricked!", I whispered. I can already feel the murderous aura coming from the entire female populace within the cafeteria.
But he just wouldn't budge so I opened my mouth in the end. I can't help but steal a glance at my b!tchy classmates. Their eyes are literally bulging out and are drooling over Jiyong!
They must've felt my gaze so they turned their attention to me. I proudly puffed my chest and stuck out my tongue. Bleh! Take that b!tches!! Uh-huh, G-Dragon is in the house y'all! I smiled inwardly at the thought. (But honestly, in my mind, I can picture myself laughing crazily while ripping the btches' ribcage and tearing their fangirl hearts to pathetic little pieces MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA!!!)
I wanted to glance at Bom and Jongwan but I just can't bring myself to do it. I looked at Jiyong's manager whose brains are about to explode while dialing his phone endlessly.
"Jiyong, I'm not sure this is a good idea. You do know that fanaccounts of this event will spread like wildfire on the internet as we speak, right? And how did you manage to convince your manager to agree to this?", I asked.
"Oh that...I kind of...ran away", he said sheepishly. WhuuuuuTTtt???
"We were on our way to a photoshoot when I asked my manager to park the car in front of your university. I tried calling you again and luckily you answered. Before I knew it, I was running here as quickly as I could after grabbing the packed lunch, with them trailing behind me", he said pointing to his bodyguards.
I almost spat the food on his face! My eyes widened in disbelief! Does he want me dead??! What is he going to tell his fans now?!
"Relax, a news blackout is being mobilized as we speak. But there's no doubt Sajangnim is going to fry my as$", he continued as he touched my chin to close my gaping open mouth.
"RELAXXXX???!!! What am I going to tell everyone who's going to ask me why G-Dragon is here?!", I screeched as panic enveloped my whole body. Jiyong called his manager and talked to him. Then he directed his attention to me.
"Dara, just tell anyone who'll ask that you're my friend. If they pry for details, tell them we started being friends when you went to Inkigayo during Big Bang's comeback stage.", he said. I just nodded in response, not knowing if I should be happy that I will be publicly known as G-Dragon's friend. I'm sure it will be chaotic after this. Then an idea popped into my head.
"Jiyong, does that mean you can go to the University Ball with me? It's this Saturday!", I excitedly said.
"Don't push your luck. That's an entirely different situation.", he sternly said while wagging his pointing finger on my face.
"Oh come onnnnnn!! You just have to show your face and leave! What you did today is more dangerous!! And you're now officially my friend in the public's eyes!", I countered. Oh please, let Jiyong agree! I silently prayed as I looked at him with puppy eyes.
"Stop looking at me creepily. I told you a lot of times already that I can't go", he said with finality.
"BUT WHYYYYY??!!!", I asked dramatically.
"What kind of roommate are you. You don't even know we have a schedule on that date? Remember Big Bang just made a comeback, our schedule is packed", he answered.
Aigoooo....I guess I'm really out of luck. With slumped shoulders, I attacked the food before me. Jiyong rested his head on his arms on top of the table while looking at me, he seems so tired.
"We'll talk when I get home. I won't be coming home tonight because we have to film our MV in a different location. Make sure the doors and windows are locked before you sleep. Answer your phone immediately whenever I call. Don't let your battery get drained.", he said solemnly. I nodded and looked at him with concern.
"Don't forget to rest, you look so tired already.", I said. He just poked my forehead and smiled.
I quickly tried to finish the food so they can leave but he gave me a reprimanding look again, just like what he usually does when I do speed-eating. He then sat straight, pulled out his handkerchief and wiped my face. Another round of loud gasping was heard all over the cafeteria. Good grief, will I be able to walk out alive after this?!
Jiyong insisted on walking me to my next class. He even carried my bag (despite the blazing glares from the fangirls). I am touched, really....except I'm fearing for my own life. I don't know the outcome of this whole fiasco.
A crowd of students are walking behind us. Fortunately, Jiyong has his own private army of bodyguards to control them. Without the bodyguards, I'm pretty sure I'll end up in a gutter somewhere.
I sighed heavily. Aigoooo, things wouldn't have been complicated if he's not famous. Why does Jiyong have to be a celebrity! Look at him! He exudes charisma while doing practically nothing. He commands attention wherever he goes. And I, Sandara Park, is his friend?! I wonder what's gonna happen if they find out I'm actually his roommate. Aisht! I don't know what to think anymore.
"If you're worrying about getting bullied, I'll stop by the Dean's office after this. I'll ask for his help just in case.", he nonchalantly said.
"While you're there, can you ask the Dean if he could accompany me to the Univ Ball?", I was batting my eyelashes in an attempt to be funny. He didn't find it adorable.
"You do know you can just back out from the bet, right? Why do you insist on getting on with it?", uh-oh, Kwonzilla is making an appearance.
I just shut my mouth and bowed my head.
"Aigoooo, Dara-ahjumma. What will I do with you? Shall we ask one of my bodyguards to go with you instead?", he said afterwards.
"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!", I enthusiastically exclaimed. Jiyong is a genius!
"YAH!!!!!!", he snapped.
"Bad idea..bad idea...", I said, trying to salvage the situation. But I really do think it's a brilliant idea, so I scanned the faces of the bodyguards behind us.
He abruptly turned me around to face him and pinched my nose forcefully.
"OUUUCHHHH!!!", I screamed while trying to free myself from his deadly grasp. Then I froze, I saw Lee Jongwan from the crowd staring at us.
Jiyong sensed my uneasiness and was about to turn around to look at the crowd. I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him from doing so.
"It's Jongwan, he's staring at us", I whispered.
Jiyong smiled at me, rested his hands on my shoulders and continued walking. I can already imagine the pandaemonium that is erupting behind us.
"Oh really? Let him stare all he wants", he said and winked at me. My heart started beating erratically. Oh no.... Here I go again.
"Jiyong, you better stop seducing me. You know how weak I am", I threatened him while wearing a serious expression.
He stopped walking, his arms still wrapped around me. He then slooooowwwly looked at me...and we both started laughing at my ridiculous idea. It is ridiculous.....right?
As soon as Dara got home, she hurriedly ran to the next building and went to Minho's apartment. She started humming merrily while dancing around Minho who was watching TV. Minho just looked at her, puzzled.
Minho: Are you planning to curse me with that song?
Dara: Shut up and let me savor my happiness! Dam-di-dam-di-dam!!!!
Minho: I can't believe my ears...
Minho: You are simply awful. Thirty seconds of you singing and I feel like strangling you.
Dara ignored Minho and continued singing.
Minho: Please stop before you embarrass yourself even more.
Dara: Aigooo, you're exaggerating. Look at those people auditioning, I'm as good as them! <*points to the television showing a reality TV singing contest>
Minho: Don't you dare audition. I'm pretty sure people will smash their TV when they hear you sing. Or even worse, they might hunt you down and smash your skull.
Dara just pouted, went to the kitchen and grab some snacks. She sat beside Minho and tried to open the bag of chips. Two minutes later, she's still battling with the chips that cannot be opened. Minho looked at her warily and stood up. He grabbed the scissors by the kitchen, snatched the snack from Dara's deadly grasp and opened it for her.
Minho: It's called scissors. Welcome to the 21st century.
Dara: Why you so grumpy, Mr. Grumpy?
Minho: Shut up. Just eat. Don't sing....And don't DANCE either!
Dara: <*munch munch> So..Mr. Grumpy Minho..how's your day? <*tries to piss off Minho even more>
Minho: What part of the words Shut up did you fail to understand? I'm trying to watch TV!
After a few minutes...
Minho: I'll hit you with this book if you don't stop, I'm not kidding.
Dara: Can you come with me to the University Ball on Saturday?
Minho: Wow, that's a tough one..Let me think about it..Hmmmmmm. No.
Minho: Okay let's get serious now.
Minho faced Dara and with an exaggerated mouth emphasis answered...
Dara: Come on Minho, help me out here.
Minho: Dara, if I go with you, that means we have to kiss.
Dara: <*groan> Yeah, that's how I desperate I am.
Minho: ExcusseeEE meee. People pay for me to kiss someone. And you're acting like it's the most horrible thing that will happen to you? I'm telling you, you'll fall for me when I kiss you.
Dara: Duh, no. Just accompany me please, MY FRIEND! Just treat it like we're filming a drama so it won't be awkward when we kiss.
Minho: Aigooo, it is AWKWARD even when filming a drama.
Dara: Minho my FRIEND! Please....
Minho: Hmmmmmmm.. I'll think about it.
Dara: Think about it now! Univ Ball is already on Saturday!
Minho: You always seem to forget about what I do for a living. People will recognize me. Let's talk about it tomorrow night. I'm hungry, go get dinner.
Dara: Omo, since when did I become your errand girl?
Minho: Since you asked me to accompany you to the University Ball. <*raises eyebrow>
Dara: Alright, I'm going. I'm going. Would you like an extra poison on your soup, sir?
Dara ran away as fast as she could when Minho grabbed the book that he was threatening her with and threw it at her direction.
The next day, Dara's eyes are fixated on the floor while walking on the corridor. The news about GD's visit to her school was obviously the hottest topic right now. Sandara Park instantly became a LEGEND.
Dara felt like she was inside an aquarium because everybody is staring at her with awe. She finally arrived at her locker and was about to open it when the student next to her locker (who has not spoken to her and has not given her a second look throughout her stay in the university) called her name.
Dara: Uhm, yes?
Student: Is it true that G-Dragon is your friend?
For a moment, Dara's mind went blank - like the student was talking in an alien language. Then realization dawned on her.
Dara: Ah! Right, right. Yeah. I was surpris....
Dara wasn't even able to finish her sentence because everyone near her started bombarding her with questions. Heck, she even caught sight of students from other schools who went there just to hear the story!
Dara tried to answer the questions and eventually retreated because it was just overwhelming. She ran away and cowered in the library. Unfortunately, a group of her b!tch classmates was there as well.
B!tch 1: Luck won't strike twice, Dara-ahjumma. You won't be able to bring GD to the ball. In case you don't know, Big Bang has a schedule on that day. Ha!
Dara: Of course I know, you ty little piece! Jiyong was the one who told me that!
B!tch 2: So that means you have to prepare yourself to kiss someone on the stage in front of the entire students. Oh wait, nobody from our school will ever agree to kissing you! How sad!
Dara: If Jiyong won't be able to come to the University Ball, I can always ask someone who's not a student in our school to kiss me. You did not specify that if I lose our bet, I will have to kiss someone from this school, right?
B!tch 1: Right, though I highly doubt you'll find someone who would willingly tarnish their reputation with your kiss, hahahahahahaha!! So that means you're giving up, aren't you? Yeah, start looking for a guy and start practicing how to kiss. You obviously don't know how to.
Dara: Oh I'm not giving up yet! You didn't really expect that I will be friends with GD and that GD will come to our school but he did, right? Imagine how I was able to make that happen. So now you see, I have my ways. Let's just wait until the University Ball.
In reality, Dara knew she has already lost, that's just her ego talking. Now, she has to find a guy to bring to the University Ball. The guy who will have her first kiss. Her First Kiss. Dara shut her eyes in frustration.
Dara's phone rang. When she saw that Jiyong was calling, she excitedly answered it in front of her classmates.
Dara: Jiyong-ah! <*loud excited voice, big BIG smile>
Dara's classmates stood there, frozen, while intentionally eavesdropping to the conversation. Dara's smile grew even wider while taking her sweet time enjoying the mortified look on their faces.
GD: Ouch! Yah, Dara-ahjumma! Lower your voice, will you?
Dara: I've already eaten! How about you?
Dara: Hahahahahaha! Really? Omo, that's really amusing!
GD: Hey, what's with the weirdness? You're having a conversation on your own.
Dara: Jiyong, my classmates want to say hi, I'll put you on speaker. Just say hello to them.
Dara placed the phone on speaker, much to the b!tchy classmates surprise.
Jiyong: Annyeonghaseyo! Please take care of Dara, she's really a scatterbrain sometimes.
B!tch 1,2,3,4: KYAAAAHHHH!!!! OPPA ANNYEONGHASEYO!! SARANG--
Dara placed the phone on handset mode again, cutting off what they were about to say. She smugly resumed talking to Jiyong.
Jiyong: Dara? Do you have work later?
Dara: Nope, why?
Jiyong: Can you meet me at Insa-dong restaurant?
Dara: I forgot to bring money, will you fetch me?
Her b!tch classmates took out their purses and started shoving money to her face. Omo, they're still there?
B!tch 1: Yah! Here's some money! Go get a cab instead! G-Dragon is a busy person, you know.
Dara smiled inwardly. She has won this round.
Dara was standing directly in front of the window of a room in the Music Building. That was Bom's classroom. When she saw Bom looking through the window, she raised the sign that she was holding with 'I'm Sorry Bom. Do you want to eat cupcakes?' written on it. They've fought a couple of times, but not as serious as this one.
The bell rang signaling the end of the classes. Dara's arms were sore from holding the sign but she's still unsuccessful in talking to Bom.
I think I just had a sudden memory lapse. Why on earth is Minho smiling wildly while showing me the coupon that I gave him?
"You can't say no! I'm claiming the Dara coupon!", he said while jumping merrily.
Okay, I'm really lost here. I just went to Minho's apartment to get my purse that I left on his couch. I still need to go to Insa-dong restaurant and I'm already running late. Jiyong will go bananas! I can already picture his mouth foaming in anger.
All of a sudden, Minho jumped out of his room and excitedly gunned me down with his story. I barely understood half of what he was saying. Scratch that. I did not understand everything he said. He was speaking hastily. He's been possessed by a chipmunk!
"When did you learn the chipmunk language? Will you calm down and repeat everything that you said slooowwly. Starting from when you jumped out of your cage.", I said while pushing him on the couch.
"I said I'm nominated for an award and I want you to accompany me! I'm claiming the Dara coupon!", he said. Then he gave me his most charming smile that I'm sure will shake the hearts of the female human species.
"Uh..No.", I said.
Minho threw the Dara coupon on the floor and turned his back on me while crossing his arms on his chest. Great, he reminds me of my little brother Sanghyun...when he was 4 years old! I can even picture dark clouds with rain and thunder forming above his head.
"Yah, ahjussi. Stop throwing tantrums. Alright, I'll accompany you. But don't you think it will be better if you invite another actress or a model instead?", I asked.Minho's energy came back in a snap.
"Don't worry we'll do a complete Dara Makeover before we attend!", he answered.
"Hey! I didn't agree on a makeover. You only said I'll accompany you to the Awards Ceremony!", I countered.
"Alright here's the deal. You agree on the Dara Makeover, I'll agree on accompanying you to the Univ Ball. You should be grateful, you'll actually benefit from this. It's like I claimed the coupon to give you a makeover. And for crying out loud, you REALLY do need one!", he said.
Aigooo.... I really think Minho is my bad karma.