CHAPTER 10 - DISASTROUS DARA-AHJUMMA DAY

MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE - fanfic by huntress
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Dara ran towards Lee Jongwan, leaving GD behind. She was really excited that a guy in her school finally acknowledges her and treats her nicely. Most of the boys, especially those ba$tards from her class, usually ignore her or make fun of her. 



Dara: Annyonghasaeyo, Lee Jongwan-sshi!


Lee Jongwan: Oh, you know my name? <*smiles>


Dara: Of course! Your major is Music just like my friend Bom. I saw you perform with your group last year during our Foundation Day! You and your groupmates are really awesome! You're like a real KPop boy band!!



Jiyong, who was walking towards her, immediately stopped on his tracks and had a great urge to smack Dara's head off her body. How dare her talk about Korean Pop boy band when she doesn't know sh!t about KPop! 



Dara: <*gets something from her bag> Here's the handkerchief you lend me last time. Thank you so much. By the way, how did you know my name?


Lee Jongwan: Errmm, actually I saw the posters about the bet and word just went around about who you are.



Dara glanced back at GD at the mention of the bet. Given the outpour of problems that she was facing, the bet totally slipped her mind!! OMMMOOO!!!! Dara is absolutely sure that if she brings it up to Jiyong, he will tear her limbs apart!!! 4l0rvk.png 



Then....an idea popped on Dara's mind. If Jiyong won't agree to come to the Univ Ball, she has to kiss a guy in front of everyone, right? Well, she wouldn't really mind giving her first kiss to Lee Jongwan given that he's the most popular guy in school!! Kyyyahhhh!!!! Not to mention he's cute, smart, talented, a real gentleman and the list goes on. Everything is turning out great! I mean, what are the odds of the celebrity Kwon Jiyong to be her roommate plus the hottest guy in campus being friendly with her?? The world is really cooking up something grand for her and she's liking every bit of it! Eventhough her encounters with these two gorgeous guys are brought by the disasters she caused - she met Jiyong when she was drunk and she met Lee Jongwan when she almost murdered her classmate. That's fate going on right there! Hah!



Dara was smiling from ear to ear at her own thoughts but was brought back to reality when Jiyong flicked his fingers on her forehead. She didn't realize he is already beside her.



Dara: Oh, by the way this is Kwo--



Dara's words were cut off when GD nudged her angrily that she almost lost her balance. She covered when she realized she almost mentioned his real name.



GD: I'm her cousin. Annyonghasaeyo.



Jiyong was sending signals to Dara that they really have to go since it's really dangerous for him to be on a place with a bunch of fangirls plus he has a lot of things to do, like killing her and throwing her corpse at a faraway land, for instance. But this stupid piece of an ahjumma just wouldn't get it and even proudly announced his pseudo-name KIM RAMYUN!!! 



Dara: Lee Jongwan-sshi, meet my cousin Kim Ramyun! <*smiles brightly> 



Oh man, she is really digging her grave! GD bowed at Lee Jongwan, grabbed the back collar of Dara's shirt and dragged her, causing Dara to walk backwards. Oblivious to the anger of Jiyong, Dara was waving goodbye enthusiastically to Jongwan.



_____________________________________________________________



JIYONG's POV



SHE IS SOOOOOOOOO DEAD!! DEAD, I tell you!! I've been very accomodating up to this point but this is intolerable!!!



When we reached the apartment, she's been thanking me endlessly. She's still on high spirits. But as soon as I mentioned about what I heard on the corridors, her face turned pale. She knows she's in a very VERY deep DEEP SH!T!! Oh yes you are Dara-ahjumma, YES YOU ARE!!! angry.gif 



I wouldn't let her off the hook even if she starts shaking uncontrollably and fakes epilepsy!! Let me tell you what I'll do if she drop dead right this instant - I will resurrect her and kill her again!! So you see, there's no escape from the impending eruption of tranquil Mt. Jiyong.



Like what most idiots do, she tried to LIE like she has never lied before. She told me there is another guy named Kwon Jiyong at her school. You think I will fall for that? Well, you have yet to meet Seungri. Our maknae will be able to convince anyone that Tokyo is the capital of Korea. Heck, he even got me thinking that there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and he left Daesung immensely disappointed after convincing the poor guy that there is Santa Claus. And then TOP hyung...well, Seungri failed miserably on TOP hyung. I think even hypnosis won't work on that weird guy. There must be some crazy something something behind TOP hyung's thick eyebrows. dry.gif 



Anyway, back to the culprit over here who is about to have a heart attack. I pulled the poster that I got from the school and showed it to her. The details of the bet are indicated and it specifically says 'Sandara Park of Theater Arts Department promises to bring Kwon Jiyong of Big Bang as her date on University Ball!!!'. 



"That's you?? <*faking innocence while pointing at the poster> I didn't know!!", she said. My temper reached its boiling point.



"Oh yeah?? Well, Kwon Jiyong of Big Bang is not very amused right now and is ready to slaughter you!!!," I yelled at her like there's no tomorrow! I am so gonna clobber her!!!!! I strided towards her, my eyes turning in slits and my nose flaring in anger while she backed away. 



"WAIT!! Let me explain!," she screamed in panic while raising both hands in complete surrender. She told me everything, while gasping for air, how she managed to entangle herself to this hot mess. My Gahd!!! This hot mess that she spawns is off of the charts. Basically, she was being her moronoic self that's why she ended up in that stupid bet. And I don't know why fate decided to join the fun and let both Dara and I meet each other by sheer mistake.



BUT!!! I don't give a damn how she got herself in that soon-to-be disaster!! Don't she dare invite me to that fcking University Ball!!! Saving her from the guidance counselor is one thing since I could disguise myself. Attending that ball as Kwon Jiyong is a totally different story. I can already picture the VIPs gathering their troops with torches and pitchforks in hand.



"So....is it okay if you come with me to the University Ball?" she said. ARRRGHH!! She did NOT just say that! Please tell me she's joking!! I looked at her without a trace of mercy on my face. 



"KNEEL!!!", I yelled. With a horrified look on her face, she willingly obliged. "Raise your arms!", I added. She is now kneeling on the floor with her arms outstretched upwards like a middle school student being punished by her teacher. 



"You made me go to your school to save your sorry as$ from that counselor, you gave me the stupidest name in the history of humankind and now this?? Being KIM RAMYUN is already bad enough then you have to shove me into another catastrophe-in-the-making?!!".. I am really becoming like a big-mouthed mother-in-law, all I need is some perm and a white apron then I'm all set. This is all because of my retarded roommate! 



I left her on the living room while I get some stuffs at my closet. She was still on the same position as I left her when I went to the kitchen (which is just a few steps away from the living room). I was drinking water when she suddenly broke into a run using her knees while her arms are still outstretched upwards! I almost spit the water all over the floor when I saw she was approaching me while 'knee-running'! She looks like a midget about to attack Gulliver, for Pete's sake. Does she even know how ridiculous she looks??



"Jiyong, I have work tonight. Can you just punish me later?," she pleaded.



Jeeezzz!!! Living with Dara-ahjumma proves to be a potential hazard to my life. I think I should declare a Dara-free zone in this apartment to keep my sanity coz I swear, I AM losing my mind! GAAAHHHH!!



_____________________________________________________________



SANDARA's POV



I was fcking hyperventilating the whole time!!! Shucks!!! I really thought Jiyong is going to pick me up by my neck and throw me by the window! Considering we're at the fourth floor, I doubt if I'll ever see the light of day again if he hurls me out unless I learn how to fly before I hit solid ground.



He really scared the bejeezus out of me!!! Try staring at Jiyong when he's that furious, you'll feel like a unicellular organism under a microscope. To cut the story short, I was already conceptualizing the words to be carved on my tombstone.



I reached Itaewon Hiphop Bar in daze. My shift today is from night till dawn. I specifically arranged my work and study scheds so they won't clash. Tomorrow, I don't have any classes. I just hope the resident KwonZilla will be busy tomorrow so he will forget butchering me for the meantime.



I'm assigned to serve at the VIP Lounge as usual. Actually, the reason the Boss hired me is because I don't recognize the people at the VIP Lounge who, from what I hear, are mostly KPop Idols or actors and actresses, or some rich kids. Since I won't be fangirling over them, the Boss decided to accept my application despite the fact that I don't fit the hip image of this bar. 



I thought tonight will just be like any other boring nights, but man, I was so wrong!



"May I take your order?", I asked the customers at Table V2. All four of them are wearing hoodies and masks that covers their mouth and nose. It's the usual getup at the VIP lounge. They just momentarily remove their masks if they're drinking. I smiled at them but my smile was immediately wiped out of my face and was replaced by utter shock coupled with gaping open mouth as soon as my eyes landed on the blazing glare of Kwon Jiyong. OH.EFFING.SHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell is he doing here??? blink.gif 



"Excuse me miss, are you alright?", the guy wearing a slightly tilted cap asked. Omo, I should act like I don't know Kwon Jiyong or else, he'll skin me alive! I just rigidly stood there while looking at them deciding what to do. What the effing hell should I do again?? My freaking mind totally went BLANK!



I forced a smile, I saw some of them flinched probably because they thought I'm going to eat them alive since what I did was just bare my fangs to pretend like I was smiling. Are they Jiyong's groupmates? I can't remember their names and faces, darn it! I should've paid attention to the posters all over Jiyong's room! 



"May I just repeat your orders sir, your orders are..", I stopped as I stared at the blank sheet of paper I was holding. What the hell are their orders???!! huh.gif 



"We haven't placed any orders yet~ ~", Jiyong said under gritted teeth. OH CRAP!! I'm completely spacing out, I'm really not good at these kind of surprises!! I feel like any moment, they will know that Jiyong and I are hiding something!! 



"Oh, right. Sorry Jiyong", I said. FCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mouth is unstoppable! It has a freaking life of its own! I should've ripped it out of my face a long time ago and shipped it to Antartica! 4l0rvk.png 



Jiyong is throwing daggers again with his stare. I'm awfully bloody right now with his piercing look, I am so dead huhuhu!



"Ahh, you recognized us." the guy with tilted cap said. Duh, goodluck with that. Even if you don't wear masks, I'm pretty sure I will still have no clue who you are. Oh, that's right! They're famous so I could just pretend I recognized the whole group! Great, I'll go with that plan.



"Of course!! Who wouldn't recognize BANG BANG!!", I said. Or was it BLING BLING?? Sh!t, I forgot! unsure.gif 



Fortunately, all of them erupted in laughter, well except for Jiyong of course who is still sending cryptic messages to me through telepathy. I picked up "KILL" and "DEAD DARA" from his telepathic messages, gyyahh!!



The night went on as usual but I always hold my breath whenever I go to Table V2. Jiyong is ignoring me, which I prefer rather than him stabbing me with a fork. I overheard them looking for a certain 'TOP'. Come to think of it, shouldn't they have 5 members in their group? Whatever! I'm just glad my shift is about to end without so much of a glitch! Woohoo, I'm alive, I'm ALIVEEEE <*insert thunder and lightning here>



As soon as my shift ended, I ran to the locker room, changed my clothes and gathered my things. I was running at the corridor heading back to the kitchen to deposit the tray and other stuffs when I saw a tall guy with thick eyebrows wearing a cap and sunglasses (inside a bar?) having an argument with someone. I was about to ignore them when I recognized who the tall guy is having an argument with - it was Kwon Jiyong! Omo, omo. 



Jiyong was about to leave but the guy suddenly grabbed him by the arms and forced Jiyong to come with him! How dare he bully Kwon Jiyong!



Everything is like a blur. I charged towards them at unimaginable speed while screaming my lungs out! When I reached them, I abruptly stopped and was paralyzed in fear. CRAPPPPP! I just ran towards them with no plan whatsoever!! What do I do next??!!! AIGOOO!!



The tall guy with thick eyebrows just stared at me with an expression that says 'HUH??!' while Jiyong is staring at me with 'What-the-Fck-are-you-trying-to-do??' expression on his face.



The tall guy made a slight movement and I panicked!! I hit his face with the tray I was holding like a raging lunatic! He was already on his knees covering his head but I still continuously kicked and hit him until he stopped moving. I placed my hands at my waist and took a heroic stance. Yay! Operation Save Kwon Jiyong SUCCESS!



"TOP HYUNGGGG!!!!", Jiyong screamed. Did he just say 'hyung'?? Oh sh!t...



Jiyong looked at me with disbelief. "Why did you hit my hyung??!!", he asked angrily. OH FCKING HELL!!! 4l0rvk.png 



_____________________________________________________________



JIYONG's POV



As soon as I saw Dara-ahjumma, I knew were done for. When she recognized me, she falls in her demented world again. Not once did she make a mistake in serving our orders. The other members thought she's my fan and they find it cute that she's making a fool out of herself at the sight of me. If only they knew that Dara-ahjumma is really a neighborhood idiot.



Why are we here again? Oh I remember, TOP hyung asked us to hang out here and unwind. And where's that guy by the way?? This was his idea to begin with and he's not here! After a long wait, I got a call from him and he asked me to meet him at the hallway of the bar.



"Yah! Why don't you go directly to our table?", I screamed at TOP Hyung as soon as I met him.



"Aigoo! Will you stop with the yelling! Stop attracting attention, can't you see I forgot my mask and my hoodie??", he said. Pfffttt, and that's my fault? This guy really annoys the effing hell out of me sometimes!



He then started urging me to come with him coz he wanted to use my credit card to buy this fantabulous (his word not mine) shoes he found at a nearby store. It turns out he's been lurking at that store all this time that's why he's late. What the fck?! Who on his right mind will lurk in a store for 4 hours because he is gawking at a pair of shoes??? I swear, there is some really weird machinery tucked inside TOP hyung's brain.



I declined and was about to go back to the other members when TOP hyung grabbed my arms. Then came this familiar figure who is running towards us while giving us a dose of her vocal chords in full blast. What the... What is she trying to do again??? 



Like the idiot that she is, she abruptly stopped in front of us and stared with wide eyes and panic-stricken face. The next thing I knew, Dara smacked the tray to hyung's face furiously like there's no tomorrow! One minute with her and he was beaten to a pulp. I think my heart stopped when I saw TOP hyung lost consciousness on Dara's final deathblow.



"Why did you hit my hyung??!!", I asked angrily to the moron beside me. Her face turned pale at the realization of her mistake. Omo, what do we do??!! Dara-ahjumma and I are in a state of total panic while we unleash our ear-shattering screams at hyung's unconscious body! There was rapid increase in my blood pressure!! Seriously, Dara-ahjumma will be the death of me!! 



When TOP hyung suddenly stood up, Dara-ahjumma fell on his knees and was almost kissing the floor while she continuously apologized. I have to restrain myself from stepping on her head and flattening it to the ground. With all the troubles she's caused me, I'm really not in a forgiving mood right now.



Fortunately, TOP hyung didn't mind (told yah, he's weird) and just proceeded to our table, without glancing back at Dara, to bug the other members in borrowing their credit cards. As soon as he was on a safe distance, I faced Dara-ahjumma and looked down at her with eyes blazing with fury. I wiggled my finger for her to come near me. As soon as she was in front of me, I pulled her ears - oblivious to her rapidly distorting face because of fear and pain - and walked towards a hidden part of the bar.



I let go of her ear and she immediately knelt and stretched her arms upwards just like what I asked her to do back in the apartment. Gahd!!! Can she be any more annoying??!!



"Stand up, you moron! You will draw attention by doing that!", I hissed. 



"I'M SORRY! I didn't know you knew him! I thought he was bullying you!," she said. What the hell does she think I am? I'm not G-Dragon for nothing, duh!



"You've caused me a lot of troubles in just one day! I'm still scarred with being named as KIM RAMYUN and now this???!", I'm really really pissed off!!



"What's wrong with Kim Ramyun? I think it's cute and adorable," she innocently said. Shall I kill her right this instant?



"Cute? Adorable? My stage name is G-Dragon and you gave me that..that..ARRGGGHH!!!", I just stopped myself since normal reasoning proves to be useless if you're talking to her. Besides, that name is not the major issue here. However, she seems to still be hung up with that topic instead of what he did to TOP hyung! She knocked the poor guy cold but right now, she's most concerned with that name thing.



"Then what name should I have given you? Batman, the caped crusader? Kekekeke", she laughed at her own silly joke.



I grabbed my own hair while I moaned in frustration and stared at the ceiling. I'm not just being mean, she really is stupid. How much more proof do you need?



"How about Hercules?", she asked.



I rest my case... dry.gif 
 


 Writer's note:

hi all, follow me on twitter: huntress2021

thanks for reading!

 

Lotsa Love,

huntress

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ho0ney 0 points #1
Chapter 25: I can't read chapter 26!! O.o
FindingTarzan #2
Chapter 33: Why I cannot read chapter 33?
taurus818 #3
Chapter 32: Re reading again.. Authornim your jjang. Also I love the mobster couple in mfr2
Ihateeveryonearoundm #4
<3
vanillamochis #5
I don't know how many times I cried because of laughing too much...
emerald_cross #6
Chapter 16: I keep on laughing like crazy.
Angelapham0715 #7
Chapter 10: It's so great to read this story again haha xD Gosh I'm laughing so much that I'm tearing up and my stomach hurt so bad lmao
MissyK
#8
Chapter 56: aahhh! i really love this story! i really wish it's on book so i can re-read anytime i want like other huntress's works :)
MissyK
#9
ahhh! re-reading this again! :))
102393 #10
Chapter 33: Why I can't read chapter 33? :(