A/N I’m sorry for any factual errors.

(But this is fiction.)

Yixing’s Epilogue

The ‘Thanks To’ part of the comeback album is heartbreaking to read. Either Luhan or Sehun would be mentioned in the first line, with the other being mentioned in the second. ‘Are you watching me dance, Sehun?^^ I improved a lot! :D’ Chanyeol writes, and emoticons litter the long paragraph. It is as if he had not been crying as he penned it down in the dead of the night, with Baekhyun curled up on the bed like a cat with his eyes wide open, unable to sleep peacefully since… since.

It is not planned, unlike what some anti-fans think; the company didn't put them up to it. In fact, when they are each given a hardcopy of the ‘Thanks To’ to check for spelling errors and last minute edits, they all go quiet for a while in realisation.

EXO is also making headlines as the first Kpop group with two active leaders. They’re still having activities in both Korea and China, and one takes over when they’re in that leader’s home country. It’s a good system, especially when Suho loses his words the first time they stand on stage in Korea and the audience switch all their lights off. Dread fills all of them, and Suho closes his eyes for a moment. All his life, he’s worked hard, but there are some things that are just beyond his control. He squeezes his eyes shut, and his sweaty hands tighten around the microphone. So what if they’re standing as 10 men? As far as he’s concerned, the maknae with the eternally bored scowl is standing in the small gap between Baekhyun and Tao, and the angelic Beijing native has his arm hooked around Jongin. Then comes the small gasps from either side of Suho and so Suho opens his eyes to reality. There are silver light sticks shining brightly. The letter ‘S’ is formed by the left dividend, and the letter ‘L’ is made by the right. Suho stares, and stares, and it takes a while for Kris’s voice to register as the choked up duizhang starts thanking the fans in every language he knows. They all cry that night, on stage and backstage, even though it was just at a typical music program .

Yixing stops giving fanservice. He ducks hugs and purposely misses high-fives. EXO has grown used to it, except for Xiu Min. The oldest still rubs his back when the occasional pain flares up from his waist, just for a moment, to give comfort and reassure that someone is looking out for him. Xiu Min has properly earned himself the nickname ‘Umma’ because of the little gestures that a kind soul had noticed and spread. Nobody bothers Kyungsoo with that nickname anymore. The vocal powerhouse has become quieter during interviews, and when he looks around with big eyes, everybody can tell that he’s genuinely spaced out and isn't just putting on a show. The times it has happened are few and far apart in between, but they do happen, and it has been a topic of conversation at the round tables that Suho insists they continue every weekend.

 It was Jongin who brought the subject up.

During the Chinese Lantern festival, the Chinese release “sky lanterns” in hopes of good fortune and prosperity in the new year. Well wishes are written on the paper lantern, before it is lit up by the small flame within. EXO is shipped to Qingdao for a performance amidst the celebrations, and afterwards Tao drags them all excitedly around his hometown. By nightfall, they are dead on their feet, and stop for a rest in a quieter street in the outskirts of the town. Yixing and Tao disappear for a while to get refreshments and the managers, but the rest of EXO keep Kris hostage because their Chinese just isn’t that good enough yet, in case something happens. Chen keeps the conversation alive by vehemently arguing with that statement and accidentally insults a passer-by by mispronunciation, who thinks twice about retaliating when Kris blocks Chen from view with his nearly two metre tall frame. Suho gets up to physically cover Chen’s mouth, because he is still clueless.

When the two China natives come back holding an armload of paper lanterns, a native guide and a handful of black marker pens, EXO’s interests are piqued. Yixing diplomatically ignores Suho’s inquiry as to where the allowance to buy water went, and proceeds to explain the Chinese tradition. They each take a lantern and walk over to a spot to have some privacy.

Yixing sits cross-legged on the floor, after everyone has dispersed. He looks up at the sky for a moment. There are dozens of stars littering the black background. In the distance, if he squints, he can see the floating lanterns of others.

He takes off the cap of the marker with his mouth, and bends his head down. I wish that Luhan and Sehun are okay, he writes. Then, he pauses. EXO, be one. EXO, be healthy.

“Are you all done?” the native guide asks, “I will light the lanterns for you,” Tao translates for the rest.

 The last sentence is written in a scrawl. I wish I won’t feel pain when I touch someone who is dying.

It takes a while to adjust to it. Yixing still isn’t sure what ‘it’ is. Having his two close friends pass away all of a sudden? Having his best friend’s heart? Throbbing pain when he touches someone? These changes blend together, leaving Yixing bewildered and a bit afraid.

He takes his emotions to his music and runs away with it. Song after song is composed, lyrics after lyrics are written down. Paper cuts and ink blots always stain his hands, but someone always kindly replenishes the stock of plasters in the medicine cabinet.

When he completes the song, he gives it to Chen to sing. He sings, but his voice falters midway through the song every time. It frustrates Yixing, because Chen’s voice is perfect. The song is written in mid-range, like his own voice, so the distinctive lower and richer voices that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo possess, would change the colour of the song, and Yixing is not sure that he wants his work to be altered so. Chen gives him back the music sheets and gently tells him that he should sing it himself.

It’s a wild idea. There’s no way the company will give him a solo anytime soon; they’ve always emphasized his role as the dancer. EXO is not ready yet to switch up their assigned roles, even though some are slowly getting more spotlight and lines.

Yixing bravely gives the song to the company, along with a CD recording of his voice that he did in the studio during his free time.

They call him back the next week to record a polished version with the vocal coach.

You gave me something for keeping,

EXO try not to make it obvious when they study Yixing’s reaction out of the corner of their eyes when he makes contact with a person.

A simple touch, others burn me,

“Yixing-hyung,” Chen says, putting down the Chinese books on the floor beside him as he settled down. He crossed his legs and leaned back against the wall. “What does this word mean?”

Yixing is about to explain, when Baekhyun sits down next to Chen and looks up expectantly at him. The two previous EXO-M members are momentarily surprised at the intrusion to their private Chinese lessons.

Not intrusion, Yixing realises, inclusion now.

(If possible, Baekhyun is mispronouncing his Chinese even worse than Chen ever did.)

Yixing leans over to explain, and after a measly ten minutes, Baekhyun sighs and leans his chin to rest on Yixing’s shoulder.

But since you left,

Yixing bites down on his lower lip. Hard.

I’m by myself, so I won’t tell them,

He awkwardly pets Baekhyun on the head, and then shoves him away playfully.

I don’t want them to leave me too.

Yixing’s song tops the charts.

THE END

Author’s footnotes:

1.       THANK YOU all who upvoted and subscribed and commented, especially those who stuck with the story from the initial build-up.

2.       Thank you all who continuously wished Yixing and Luhan to getbettergetbettergetbetter, chapter by chapter. There was a period of time during the fic that Yixing fell sick, and I stopped updating completely for a while when someone pointed out that the fic hit close to home. (I’m sure they meant that nicely, but I just wanted Yixing to get better irl.)

3.       This story started out with only the summary in mind. I wanted to play with a ‘tell, not show’ style, with simple sentences and present tense. /shrugs/ You be the judge on how well that turned out to be.

4.       Especially in the later chapters, readers pointed the itty-bits of the story that were not explicitly said, but you guys saw it anyway. Like how Kyungsoo wasn’t coping; that ‘Life went on’; troll!Chen;  Kris quietly suffering with gathering the members and translating Luhan’s death; OTP bromance etc. You guys are awesome, and thanks for pointing these moments out in your comments, I’m always happy to see someone noticing the story's nuances because little details make up the person.

5.       EXO FIGHTING! STAY IN GOOD HEALTH!^^

Story footnotes:

6.       Sehun wasn’t supposed to die. I’m not sure why I wrote him sitting in the spot where the car would hit him. I know you’re sick of this line: ‘Jongin is now officially EXO’s maknae’, but that’s when *I* realised that I killed off Sehun too. I had to walk away from my computer for a while.

7.       Yixing was never meant to die. Neither was Luhan.

8.       The heart was supposed to come from Jongin.

9.       Luhan was supposed to faint on stage mid-performance, because an accident happened to Jongin who he ‘last touched’.

10.    Jongin was caught deer-in-headlights while crossing a street, and because he was still traumatised by the small boy’s accident, he couldn’t move when he saw the approaching vehicle. He died, and Yixing would live… and I couldn’t figure out what happened next really. So I scrapped the idea.

Epilogue’s footnotes:

11.    Sehun’s and Luhan’s funerals were private. Sehun’s family disappeared afterwards. His parents relocated to a different part of Korea, and his brother went to military service, and then university overseas. Luhan’s family didn’t file the lawsuit. Nobody contacted them while Luhan was in the company, and nobody felt the least inclination to contact them afterwards.

And because this is the last time I’m updating the story (and I really hope you got the clue I dropped because otherwise read back don’t get shocked):

12.    Baekhyun’s funeral will be held a few months later.

I wrote that Yixing's song topped the charts to leave a melancholic, ironic feeling. Because Yixing's song is about pain, how he copes with Luhan's ability through denial, and it shouldn't do so well. But it does. 

‘WHEN THE HOUR HAND IS UP’ WAS COMPLETED ON 17/12/2012

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