The shimmer from the glaring rays broke through the blinds, burning against her closed lids.  She tossed and fumbled around the sheets, covering her face in refusal to the gentle greeting of the sun.  Another hour of rest would have been preferable, although the constant banging against her head had forced her awake from her peaceful dreamland before she could drift back into it.  She managed to lift half of her body off the mattress, bringing her hands to her face as her palms ran from her forehead around to the pained temples ringing hurt through her brain.

‘Curse hang-overs,’ Taeyeon thought to herself, receiving another sharp stab on the head.  She was never a tolerant drinker.

Mentally scolding herself for drinking nearly past her limits, Taeyeon sat motionlessly on her bed until the pain subsided; as it did so, she started remembering events of last night.  The pointless conversation hit her again, but what bothered her more were the little things that should have been blurred by the alcohol washing away part of her sanity.  …Silky red hair, pink stained glass, Merlot wine… and that seemingly almost blinding smile.  She remembered the details.  Clearly.

Taeyeon slapped harshly on the surface of her cheeks, groaning loudly under her breath at the stinging pain that followed.  First thing in the morning and that stranger had already pricked at a part of Taeyeon’s mind without the need of being present.

‘How ridiculous…’ she scoffed at herself, brushing aside all the petty recalls twirling in her head.

Wasted with alcohol or not, the image of that girl had always been the one of the firsts to occupy Taeyeon’s mental visuals.  Hwang Tiffany was always there, somewhere.  In those moments, Taeyeon felt most vulnerable to herself – partly because she could not understand why it happened and all the senselessness that came with it.

All the blame to the alcohol, it was the quickest, evasive solution.

She swung the covers off her body, stretching her arms above her head as she gave out an un-ladylike yawn.  Taeyeon then realized that she was dressed in the same clothing of yesterday’s late outing, reeked of strong alcohol and expensive perfume. 

Sighing, Taeyeon got off from her bed and stepped into the luxurious, and supposedly, guest bathroom.  The twisted the knob to fill the tub with warm water, watching as it stormed up to the top.  She finished ing the blouse she had left hanging the night before, tossing it aside once she had it off her arms.  Taeyeon then continued to lazily undressed every other part of fabric on her body before stepping into the spacious bathtub, sinking herself into the water as she let all uselessness evaporated with the steam.

Yes, the thoughts of yesterday night did leave her for a short while, but the uneasiness remained with a replaced concern.

It did not feel right or even comfortable.  The white ceiling above her head bored her just as much as the porcelain tiles lying bare on the ground.  The scent of the lit candles – as expected of her fiancé’s somewhat poor taste of smell – was like an odor of outdated milk ripened by the fuming flames.  The sweet fragrance of freshly picked flowers from the soap (tagged as ‘an import from Paris’) smelled like rotten eggs.

Don’t get her wrong; Taeyeon held no high standard.  Besides, all those complaints were among her exaggerations.  She was fine with just bathing in a regular-sized tub with her buddy rubber ducky and one non-scented candle and a grocery-store bought soap, made in Korea – as long as it was all at home.

This was not home.

No matter how hard Taeyeon had tried to adjust herself to the environment much like her own, she just could not stand the slightest of difference she found.  She had slept in hotels, a relative’s residence, a close friend’s home, but here she could find no peace here in his spacious living…thing.

The core of the problem was the mere thought of that ‘spacious living thing’ being her ‘new home’ in just a couple of days.  She would no longer have a room to call her own.  It would be shared; it would be theirs – between her and him.

She closed her eyes to imagine what it was like to be at her real home in that instant, with the strong, soothing scent of sweet blooming flowers out in the field flowing from her opened window where the garden lies and-

Splashing the water roughly against her face, she woke herself from the daydream.  How she had taken such little things for granted all these twenty four years of life.  She could not stay here for another night, Taeyeon decided, even if it meant having to move all her belongings back into this treacherous place after the ceremony.  She was willing to take any precious second of being home before that deal was sealed.

Removing herself from the tub, Taeyeon dried her body and hair then wrapped the towel against her skin while watching the lukewarm water sank into the drain.  She continued in haste with the morning procedures, combing her disagreeable locks and leaving her face bare of needless makeup.  She then dressed herself into a fitting shirt and pair of pants, deciding against the dress meant to be suited before her fiancé.  Taeyeon smiled at the mirror, satisfied with her appearance, but frowned at the tad bit missing from what she would have liked.  She eyed the small object sitting on vanity table top and the curve lifted back on her lips.

Indeed, a spray of that GiRL de Provence perfume would do her a grand favor. 

---

Jogging through the long dragged hall and down the spiral stairs with hurried steps, Taeyeon finally landed her feet on the lowest ground of the mansion.  Her eyes searched for her assistant but all she saw were bowing maids and butlers questioning her franticness and judging her attire.

‘She must be in the kitchen.’

Taeyeon mind not of the attention and continued through the house, looking for the person she was in need to see.  However, her presence had been made known by someone she had forgotten she must avoid.

“Why the hurry?”

She breathed out a low sigh and gritted her teeth before turning to the man with a rather intrigued expression directing right at her.

“Good morning,” Jungsoo greeted with a smile.

She forged one in return, “…Morning.”

Jungsoo was seated at a regular sized dining table for two, with his sleeves rolled up just past his wrists but the napkin yet to be tucked under his collar.  In his hands was a roll of the daily papers, held upside down. The silverware looked untouched and all the plates were still shining in its pristine color.  At the other end of the cloth-covered table was another full set of eating utensils, also including a nice glass goblet of wine.

At this point of understanding and quite enough of guessing, she needed not to assume to know that he was waiting on her.  At least he was polite enough to not wake a girl from her deep slumber.  (Either that or her rubbish sleep-talking must have scared him away.)

While she was still in thought, Jungsoo looked at her from head to toe, with eyes shadowed by silent judgment.  He let out a low cough before muffling a soft giggle, which was, as Taeyeon believed was well in his intentions, not all that quiet.

“I could have easily mistaken you for a fellow, Miss Kim,” he commented, a teasing smirk sliding on his lips.

“Actually, I would have preferred that better, Mister Park.”

Jungsoo cleared his throat and composed himself at her response.

“I apologize.  That was rather rude of me,” he said, “Care to join me for breakfast?”

She waited on for a second, opening to gently deny him, but Jungsoo had already reached over to her side and pulled out the chair just a couple of steps before her.

“Sure...” she answered unenthusiastically, seating herself reserved for her.

Yes, she had a choice, but the refusal would lead to an unpleasant scolding from her mother, who had been trying her best to patch their relationship.  She was sure every action of disobedience would reach to her parents’ ears; there were always at least one or two watching her carefully and reporting back on full details as much as she despised such.  They could be even worse than those annoying paparazzi.  The consequence could also follow up to more worries about her mother’s future plans on bridging intimacy between Jungsoo and herself.  Taeyeon had to admit, sending her here was the worse of attempts her mother ever pulled, but what else could she do but nod and obey?  Taeyeon never wanted to disappoint her parents.

They had enough disappointment from her brother.

The food was finally served onto the table with various and numerous dishes despite the hour.  Some were among her favorites, and she had to admit, her stomach was growling at the moment for something more fulfilling than red wine and ice cream.

“Enjoy,” he told her, opening up his palm as an invitation.

She was not fine with everything else but food had her reconsideration.  Taeyeon picked up the silver fork and knife in her hands and sliced the piece of steak into a favorable bite size.  She finally fed her hungry stomach with the delicious food, mentally marveling at the savory taste in .  At least he remembered she only liked her meat well-done.

“I heard you have been keeping yourself company at that night bar,” she heard Jungsoo spoke as she forcefully swallowed the block of beef down .  He was getting to his point after all this fanciness.

Why was it that every other person was always out to seek some sort of information from her to feed their own curiosity?  She claimed herself to be no such interesting person and she could never understand it.

“That’s old news,” she said, refusing to meet his suspicious eyes.  Despite having nothing to hide, Taeyeon felt like it was best to keep her privacy private with little spoken as possible.

“You go alone?” he asked.

“I like to be alone,” she answered, cutting short of the probability that he would asked to join her.

“What is it like?” he pried further.

Taeyeon could tell that Jungsoo was at least trying to be understanding and gentle despite the frustration that she would refuse to reveal anything.

“Like any other bar out there, just a bit rustier,” she responded simply.

Evidently, Taeyeon was trying to get used to the young man, maybe starting by answering his almost unending questions.

‘It’s not half-bad…’

“Taeyeon, can we spend some time together?”

‘…I’ll take that back.’ 

She judged a bit too hastily.

“We are doing that right now, aren’t we?” she said indifferently. 

It was a small movement, but Taeyeon could detect the shrieking sound of his knife scarring on the plate at her nonchalant response.

“No, I mean.  Time alone.  You and me.  Alone,” he placed emphasis on his words and pointed to Taeyeon and himself all the while trying to get idea directly across without taking detours.  “I want us to get to know each other before the marriage.  Like a normal, you know, couple.”

Jungsoo knew ‘normal’ was among the cursed words not to be said in front Taeyeon when it was regarding their relationship but he spoke of them anyway.

“Sorry, I’ll have to deny that offer,” Taeyeon rejected, starting off politely without much intimidation.

“Our wedding is in eight days, Taeyeon,” Jungsoo stated, as a matter of a truly frightening fact.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes, biting her lips as she laid her chopsticks down and cleaned the corners of .  She slid the chair back and stood up from her seat, her mood taking a turn.

“Park Jungsoo, our relationship was never ‘normal,’ so you can cut with the ‘normal’ mess,” Taeyeon voiced defiantly, “Maybe you could have some of that if you married off to someone that you actually love because I don’t recall this marriage ever been more than just an arrangement between our parents and stock prices.”

Jungsoo placed his utensils down and wiped his lips with the napkin hanging around his collar before tossing it aside. He stood up as well.

The onlookers could only glance to their feet and shook their head to themselves.  Often days were peaceful but when it was not, this was the norm.

“You know very well how I feel about you, Taeyeon.  This is more than just a business deal for me.  I care for you deeply and I have always wanted you to be my wife.”

“And I’ll be a good wife if I have to,” Taeyeon’s tone lowered, the energy to argue being out of her from having to repeat the same subject, “but that would be after we’re done with all that ‘flattering,’ flowery, flashy ceremony.  Now and until that vow comes out of my mouth, I’m me, belonging to myself, and I’ll lead my life however I wish.”

“And after that, you’re mine,” Jungsoo muttered quietly, but Taeyeon could hear him quite well.  She could hear the expected words ringing in her mind before they were even spoken.

Their ‘quarreling’ came to a stop with the sudden and wordless appearance of a rough yet gentle-looking man, his aging years matched with her fiancé.  He walked up to them and bowed low in greeting to his boss’ mistress, a warm and genuine smile spread across his lips.  He slipped in a playful wink for only Taeyeon to see, and she grinned sheepishly at the sight.   Taeyeon respectfully returned the acknowledgment with equivalent manners, and then watched as he turned to Jungsoo with a straight face to spare another salute.

“Sir, you have a meeting with the board in twenty minutes,” he informed as he tapped the ticking device on his wrist, wasting no time on any small, preluding conversations.

A sigh of disappoint escaped from Jungsoo as he glanced at the woman standing before him.  She, however, had discreetly let out a sigh of utter relief.

“Thank you, Youngwoon I’ll be out in three minutes.  Please get the car ready.”

Youngwoon nodded and quickly dismissed himself, waving happily to Taeyeon once he was out of Jungsoo’s peripheral vision.

That was Kim Youngwoon, a good friend of Taeyeon’s and a best friend of Jungsoo’s.  The three of them used to play together as kids.  He was brighter in personality, was more mischievous in nature, and was often soft-spoken in comparison to her fiancé.  Truth to be kept secret, Taeyeon would rather marry off to Youngwoon than Jungsoo.  In fact, she had thought about it a few times only to brush it off as a joke once she had gotten over that short phase of a teeny teenage crush.  (She once confessed to her best friends about it only to have them laughed at her for what they called “a poor taste in men.”)  Even if it was possible, Youngwoon was Jungsoo’s right hand man just as Im Yoona was hers.  Although as much as Taeyeon could recall, he was the last male she seriously showed interest in.  It had been ten years since.

“I’ll head back to my house today,” Taeyeon announced.  It wasn’t a question asking for any kind of permission, but she thought it would be best to let him know before he throw another tantrum at her.

“…Do whatever you want,” Jungsoo replied, buttoning up his sleeves quietly.

He continued to prepare his attire for work, suiting up his thousand-dollars-worth of a vest and packing his case.  Taeyeon quietly helped the maids with the clean-up despite their constant protest.  The excitement overwhelmed her mind at the thought of going back home.

“Taeyeon, can you please come here for a second?” the man whom she thought was already out of her presence motioned with his hand at her.

She complied unwillingly.

Jungsoo held out to her the tie hanging off his hand.  She stared at it questionably then shifted her gaze back up at him, eyebrows lifted.  There was a smile on his face – a teasing one even.  He grabbed her arm and placed the flimsy piece of cloth on her forced open palm.  Taeyeon understood what that meant and she wanted so badly to shake it off then walk off like she had never heard him.  Although, for the sake of saving herself from digging her own grave upon her mother’s wrath, she did what he wished.

“Come closer,” Taeyeon demanded, gritting her teeth.

Jungsoo, grinning in a sly manner, inched forward until they were only a half a foot apart.

Taeyeon shot him a death-threatening glare and calmly stepped back until she could feel safe with the distance.  “Too close.”

While acting nice and gentle in front of the onlookers, who, among them, could be the one that spout the details to her mother, she tried to put on an ‘all-goody-housewife-attitude.’  She wrapped the tie around his lifted collar as he watched her attentively with a warm tenderness engulfing his eyes. 

She didn’t like that look he was giving her.  She could feel it piercing over her head and right down at her guilt.  It was genuinely, yes, but that was exactly what she disliked about it.  It only made rejecting him so much more difficult than it should be.

Jungsoo loved her, he did, and Taeyeon knew that despite her denial.  And it’s a good thing – a fortunate compliment, some would say – if viewed from an outsider’s perspective; and if Jungsoo was just a man.  But he was not just a man.  He was the heir of a successful business owner, a student in top of his ranks, a person whose heart many ladies were after.    When his eyes were set on her, expectations were also placed on her.  “Just what kind of girl grabbed his attention?” many would wonder.  With that notion, his love suddenly became too heavy to accept.  Those who could actually be in Taeyeon’s presence would pester her about the truth, whether or not it was true that Jungsoo, a man with a golden tag of ‘ideal husband’ plastered on his chest, was chasing after her.  He had a lot of flaws and most of them Taeyeon was aware of; others do not.  Then they would tell her she was a lucky woman.  Clearly, she thought, they did not know how it felt to be ‘lucky.’    Moments like those, Taeyeon would begin to appreciate that the marriage was kept a secret.

Taeyeon did not hate him.  That would be too strong of a word for someone who was just trying to show his affections.  She could not imagine spending the rest of her life with him.  She had dreamt of her days after marriage, but the hand she was holding in her dreams was only a black, anonymous (and bald) silhouette.  So far, no one had replaced that shadow.

“What’s wrong?” Jungsoo woke her up from her deep thoughts, “Enjoying yourself a bit too much?”

Taeyeon pulled the tie higher than it should be and deliberate choke her fiancé’s throat.   “I’m merely thinking of ways to strangle you,” she replied with a sarcastic smirk before letting go.

Jungsoo coughed at the tightening grip against his neck and immediately relieved himself of suffocation by loosening the wrap.  “How cruel of you,” he said, deciding to fix the tie himself.

“You deserve it,” she said plainly, beginning to walk away from him.

“I deserve an apology,” he said, the side of his lips perking up.  “I’ll be off to work now.”

Taeyeon turned around to wave to her fiancé, displaying an awfully happy expression.  “Bye-bye, dear fiancé.”

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Jungsoo said innocently, approaching her.

Her display happiness might have been the switch or maybe it was just part of his sadism, but Taeyeon could not have predicted that, in the next moment, he would have stepped over the wall she had been trying so hard to build between them.  He grabbed onto both her shoulders in a quick motion and kept her in front of him.  Taeyeon shut her eyes closed and shrugged her shoulders up in reflex when he moved even closer, closing the gap between them.  And in what seem like a long-lasting torture, he kissed her.

Only on the forehead, though, out of unexpected respect but, nonetheless, rude (as Taeyeon persisted.)

Taeyeon pushed him away, protruding out one arm to protect herself and using the other to cover the forehead that had been ‘harassed’ by the man in front of her.  Never before did the gasps and whispers of their little audience seemed so deafening to her ears. 

“What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Using my right as your soon-to-be-husband,” he replied coolly, throwing her a wink.  He picked up his leather suitcase and calmly headed out the opened doors, “I’ll see you later, dear fiancé.”

‘…More like abusing it… I’ll make sure to strangle him for real the next time he asks me to tie that damn tie.’ Taeyeon thought to herself, throwing rocks with her spiteful glare at his back and at all who were watching them.  Surely, they were not going to keep silent about this.  Her mother would hear of this ‘good news’ soon and probably would jump for joy.  Still, that would indeed be better than a sentence to grounding at this age.

Taeyeon then suddenly recalled her purpose of coming downstairs and resumed her previous search for that certain someone.  She had to get out of here.

‘She must be with Yoona,’ Taeyeon assumed, although with much confidence.

She headed to the kitchen, one of the likely places she had not yet checked.  Indeed, her intuitions were right.

“Seohyun!” Taeyeon called out, approaching the latter.  She felt immediate relief.

There she was: Kim Taeyeon’s personal assistant – Seo Joo Hyun – standing just right beside Kim Taeyeon’s most favored chauffeur – Im YoonA.

“Oh, hi there, Taeyeon-unni-!” Yoona cheerfully exclaimed, only to be cut short by the younger one next to her with a light jab in the ribs for what the latter considered ‘a lack in manners.’

“Hello, Miss,” Seohyun politely greeted, bowing her head lower than necessary.  She gave Taeyeon a quick glance accompanied by a sweet smile before setting her eyes back on the compact notepad in her hand.  “Can I help you, Miss?”

Just as Taeyeon thought, the younger girl was attentively planning and checking on her mistress’ diet balance to the very detail, like usual.  She was so diligent and serious in her work, going to and fro between her lives at college being an ace student and at the mansion where she helped the Kim family with the business.  Seohyun was honest, innocent, and absolutely pure for a girl of her age living in this tainted society.  Taeyeon treasured her like she would with her own little sister.  After all, she was among the very few that Taeyeon could whole-heartedly trust.

Yes, Seohyun could help her.  She always could.

“Please have my belongings packed and sent back home by tonight.”

“Back to Kim’s residence?” Seohyun asked, already placing her small possessions in her bag to proceed with the order.

“Yes,” her mistress replied, “And by the way, you two can take a day off.  I want to drive today.”

Seohyun froze from her spot and instantly masked on a worry crease between her brows.  Taeyeon knew what that displeased look meant. 

‘This was not going to be easy.’  But when was it ever easy?

“Oh cool!” Yoona smiled widely, her excitement expressed on the uplifted curves on her lips, “Here’s the ke-”

Yoona willingly held out the item dangling on her hand, but before it could even touch the tip of Taeyeon’s skin, it was swiftly snatched away from both of them.  The two stood dumbfounded, eyes twitching at the youngest one who was now rolling the key’s metal ring around her finger.

“I worry about your safety, Miss,” Seohyun shook her head, disapproving of the request as she gripped the silver piece in her palm.  “You had just learned to drive not long ago.”

“I can manage.  The only thing I need to work on is parking the vehicle,” Taeyeon reassured, although not so assuring with the last line whispered.

The older girl sighed after sensing no change of opinion from Seohyun.  She had to get that car.  She would need it.

She needed it; for tonight, at least.

Taeyeon glared at Yoona, seeking for desperate help and a convincing word or two.  They silently communicated through the slight moving of their lips and the constant motions of their hands behind Seohyun’s back.

“Remember, you get me my car,” Taeyeon outlined the vehicle in the air and pointed to herself, “You,” to Yoona, “Get today off,” then to the oblivious, “With her.”  A victorious smile.

Yoona flinched and rubbed the back of her head, eyes switching its view to the youngest, mind processing in consideration.

Taeyeon knew she just threw a trump card on the table.

Those two had always been together but they were often separated through the Kim family’s business affairs.  They were childhood friends and now were the best of friends.  Their words mattered to each other’s and they were never afraid to show how much they care for one another.

Yoona, however, especially cared for Seohyun.  No, it was not in a level beyond friendship, that Taeyeon was convinced of.  It was somewhere along the extreme need of an understanding company, someone whom Yoona could pour all her troubles out and expect a focused tune of mind and a sound response.  Seohyun was the only one who could fulfill that need, and Taeyeon took much of that fact into her advantage.  

Most of the time was to misuse it for her own need of privacy.  For Taeyeon, she wished to be alone.

In all honesty, Taeyeon did not need Seohyun’s permission to the slightest.  She only did it out of respect.  Taeyeon was the one with the authority and there was little the two of them could do to her.  Unlike the others, Yoona and Seohyun were never the sort of people to report back to Taeyeon’s family (especially her mother) about her whereabouts.  And because of that very reason, if anything was to happen to the mistress, Seohyun would be the first to be shoved into the mess of consequences.  The following victim would be Yoona.

“Hyunnie,” the card set itself on the table, “Taeyeon already passed the driving test.  I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

The youngest ones looked at each other for a short few second; Taeyeon’s crawling anticipation was itching to be dealt with.  Seohyun broke the gaze and shrugged her shoulders.  Expectantly, it did not take long for the decision to be made.  With conditions, of course.

“If you say so, then…” Seohyun folded her notebook and tugged it under her arm.  She turned to look at her mistress, whose expressions changed visibly at sight of hope.  A sigh escaped her lips as she loosened the grip on the silver item onto Taeyeon’s welcoming hands.  However, she had still not let go – not without conditions, of course.  “…Would you mind safely give us a ride back to the mansion, unnie?”

“But you have Yoona-”

“Actually, I left my vehicle at your place…” Yoona apologized nervously, “Sorry, unnie.”

That was the final deal.  Taeyeon had no other choice but to agree.

“Oh but first, please do change into a more publicly suitable attire, Miss Taeyeon,” Seohyun suggested, almost sounding like a manager.

Taeyeon thought she could at least get away with that.

---

‘How did it end up like this…?’

Well, she did manage to get the key.  And she was finally permitted to drive her very own vehicle, after being restricted to the back seats for so long.  But she was still not alone.  Not yet, at least.

She drove well; “more than most,” Yoona would say (almost sounding like a comfort rather than a compliment.)  Still, she felt especially nervous with those watchful eyes judging her from behind.  Taeyeon knew Seohyun only meant well and was merely worried for her mistress’ safety, but she could not help to feel the pressure as if she could crash into a random telephone booth at any minute.  The heavy load of her own luggage stacked back in the trunk just gave her more weight of a burden – literally.

Even worse, she was definitely not the person of directions.  Fortunately for her, Yoona was sitting at the passenger’s seat, giving her discreet signals and whispers of reminder.

“Unnie, there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask,” Seohyun started, relaxing after a few minutes or so.

“Yes?” Taeyeon heeded.  It did not sound anything of the serious business since Seohyun was finally speaking a little less formal and more personal.  Well, it was still formal but better than ‘mistress this and that.’

“Why are you going to that bar so often?”

That question again.  Her conscious often bothered her with the same curiosity, and sometimes it became an annoyance.  Not because she was continuously bugged with the subject, but simply because she herself, did not know the answer.  Either that or she was merely hiding from it, preferring not to know.

“To enjoy good music and liquor,” Taeyeon replied shortly, leaving out the rather important bit.

“We know you better than that, unnie,” Yoona jumped in.  She was also trying to find the right opportunity to relieve her inquisitiveness, and right now seemed to be the time.

She could lie to them, throw out some lame excuse and make it seem exaggeratingly believable.  Or she could choose to cut it short like she had with Jungsoo.  But she chose not to.

Then she realized she didn’t really have much of an option.  How could Taeyeon lie when she did not even understand what was the truth?

“I think I’m under an addiction,” Taeyeon admitted.  It was more of a quiet assertion to her consciousness that seemed to have rolled out from her mind onto her tongue without prior consideration.  It was the best solution she could come up with, and really, it was the only one of the two she had thought of so far.  The other being that she must be crazy.  She concluded that the first to be more fitting.

“An addiction!?  I’ll get you a doctor and we can cure this together-” Seohyun hollered, stretching out her safety belt to hover over to the driver’s seat.  It was an immediate reaction, but Taeyeon was too lost in her own thoughts to have noticed.  Although by the time the screaming pierced through her eardrums, Taeyeon’s steering had went loose from her control.

She halted a light stop to the vehicle; the car’s fender was inches away from a local telephone booth.  (Fortunately for Taeyeon, no one who cared was around to take a snapshot of this embarrassing moment.)

“My goodness gracious, Joo Hyun!” Taeyeon almost rebuked the younger girl but decided that getting her heart back on its steady beating should be her priority.  “Do not take everything I say so literal.”

Yoona chuckled nervously, comforting her mistress with a few light taps while professionally steering the car back on the lane from the passenger’s seat. 

“If there was a cure, I would have taken it,” Taeyeon whispered to herself, her breathing almost silent as the words delivered from her lips.  However, Yoona caught the gist of them.

“Then what is this addiction that my mistress speaks of?” Yoona asked with much interest. 

“It’s…It’s nothing, really.  It’s just-…It’s just a voice.”

‘But it’s not just a voice,’ Taeyeon’s sub-consciousness fought to be heard.

“Are you talking about that red-haired singer from yesterday?” Yoona asked, suddenly remembering her mistress’ strange orders on playing security for a certain female.

“Yes.  Her,” Taeyeon nodded as her attention strayed from the street again.  She strained her grip on the wheel.

The addiction had its side-effects and this was one of it: distraction.  At just the mention of that siren, she was suddenly hungry to hear her voice.  Maybe it was really black magic or maybe Taeyeon was really just crazy. 

“I would like to accompany you there someday then.  I want to hear for myself-”

“No.”

It was quiet, almost like a breather, but yet it was very loud in a vehicle that remained absolutely frozen in silence.  Almost like an accident, it had slipped off Taeyeon’s tongue again.  No, it was out of natural reflex.  A complicated sub-consciousness’ reflex.

“A-As much as I’d like to satisfy your curiosity, Joo Hyun will kill me if I take you to such a place,” Taeyeon made up the immediate excuse with a joke to cover up the confusion, “She’ll probably have me digest sweet potatoes every day for a month.”

To save her mistress from the foul indigestion and suffering trips to the ladies room, Yoona nodded in agreement.  She held in her laugh to save herself from Seohyun’s wrath.  The thought itself was scary and, indeed, it was plausible. 

In truth, Taeyeon wanted to avoid all other distractions.  She needed focus.  She needed to be alone.  But yet she wished to be distracted – from life, from a ‘living hell – by one and one only distraction: Hwang Tiffany.  How strange.  How… abnormal.

‘I must be crazy.’

“Unnie, where are you driving?” Seohyun asked with concern, noticing the alternating surroundings not familiar to the road back to the Kim’s residence.

“I need to stop by somewhere real quick.  I’m heading home after all,” Taeyeon replied, grinning widely.

“Are you buying her that again?” Yoona asked; she could not help but smile herself, “I’m jealous that she gets to have you.”

“I’m jealous, too, Yoona,” Taeyeon noted, the side of her lips dropped back down to a thin, saddening line, “I’m jealous, too.”

---

Taeyeon waved off the two young girls driving into the streets and soon disappearing in the distance.  After a promise on reassuring her safety, they parted ways in front of the Kim’s residence. 

The young mistress breathed in the fresh air of her childhood before turning her back to the world and faced the opened doors of her home.  It was welcoming her.

But home was never the same anymore. 

He was no longer at the doorsteps with arms wide opened, ready to give her the embrace that she needed and the warmth that she missed.  Her home was breaking down at the loss of its tallest pillar.  Kim Taeyeon’s strongest support was already gone.

She landed her foot on the stoop, although unable to continue after the second step.  The closer she was, the heavier the weight on her shoulders seemed to be.  She was the next pillar.  She was the next person they looked to for help.  It was up to her now.  All of it.

She looked behind her, to the fountain that had stopped raining and to the garden that had dulled of colors.  The ground that she had once graffiti with all sorts of chalked-drawn flowers and red-roofed houses and smiling faces of a happy family was now merely black on rough cement.

They were still there somewhere, the memories.  And they hurt.

Taeyeon was taken back to that particular day, three years ago, when she was forced to witness the tower of luggage being dragged away from his room and onto the back of a van.  It would drive him off to somewhere very far, somewhere he would be happier.  It would take him away from her.

The weather was clear and warm.  The sun shone brightly with its best radiance.  It seemed so unfitting.  The only rain drops that fell that day were the ones pouring from Taeyeon’s very sore eyes.

In the driver’s seat was someone she never saw before; he was not one of their family’s personnel.  In the back seat, the dark tinted window left a very small gap, almost not at all.  There sat a woman, her brother’s woman, the one who had sincerely bowed her head to Taeyeon with her deepest apology hanging around her neck.  She asked for forgiveness, not because she was going to take Taeyeon’s brother away from the family and his future, but for loving her brother too much.  As much as Taeyeon hated to admit it along with everything that was happening, she saw no regret to that love.

Her brother gave her one last hug.  (‘Last.’  The word itself was pain.)  Taeyeon’s arms hung to her sides; she could not bring herself to push him away, to yell at him, or to pull him back, but neither could she bring her hands to his back and smile in acceptance with his leave.  She just stood there and allowed it all to sink.

“See you again.  Take care, lil’ sis.  And thank you,” were his final words that day before he stepped into the van and disappeared.

It had been three years since she last saw him.

---

Enough with the reminiscing, Taeyeon decided as she stepped through the doors and straight into the spacious living room.  Although her parents resented their son for leaving the family, they had never changed a single thing in the house to the smallest of furniture since he left.  Somewhere in their stubborn hearts fixated a hope that he would someday come back home.  The same could not be said for Taeyeon.

She could hear distant laughter ringing in their backyard garden; a mixed of familiar young voices showered back and forth.  It was usually quiet around here – almost a dead silence with bothersome business partners and flinging flatteries.  Today, the house had wanted company.

Taeyeon skipped hurriedly to where the beautiful tune of jazz played mildly in the background.  She knew who was there waiting for her, skipping and dancing on the grass playing with toy trucks and cars she had stored away from her childhood.  (She was never the baby doll maniac and somehow that had traveled down the genetic line.)  Taeyeon stopped for a moment, hiding herself from behind a wall to observe the small, boyish child whose face reflects her own behind the glass door.  Her brother was not there anymore to give her the embrace she wanted, but now she was here to give the warm hug that another someone was waiting for.  She missed her very dearly.

“Hayeon!”

Her own younger sister.

“Unnie…?”

First reaction: dropped the toys.  The next second: run into her arms.  The third movement: smile.  Hayeon never gave another moment of doubt when she saw her sister within sight.

Kneeling down to the ground, Taeyeon caught Hayeon in a tight hug.  It had only been a couple of days since Taeyeon had not felt this warmth around her neck and this adorable voice enthusiastically calling out her name.  At moments like this, she felt happy.  At moments like this, she felt bitter.  Did her brother ever miss this, too?  Did Jiwoong ever thought about this?

“I miss you, unnie,” Hayeon cried out, almost strangling her now.

“I miss you, too, my Hayeon,” Taeyeon said, patting the back of the little girl’s head.  “I have something for you.”

Taeyeon let go of her sister for a little while and reached for her pockets.  She pulled out a piece of blue-wrapped soda candy and placed it on Hayeon’s hands.  She’s not being cheap, but a little at a time might be the better option.  When fed with too much at once, treasury lost its meaning.  Someone taught her that.

Hayeon shrugged her shoulder with a knowing expression but still kept her smile lit on her face.

“You don’t like it?”

“I love it.  It’s my favorite.  Thank you, unnie,” Hayeon threw her arms over Taeyeon again as her way of expressing gratitude, “I love you!”

“Love you, too.”

“What is all the noise out here, Hayeon?  Did someon-”

Taeyeon stood up from the floor and stared at the middle aged woman with a cheeky smile on her baby face.

“I’m home, mom.”

Their reunion was not expected until a day before the wedding, during the preparations.  The woman was surely going to give her a scolding later for returning home so suddenly like that when she was supposed to be at her fiancé’s home and warming up to him.  She was supposed to grow accustomed to the life there, not to return here (with nothing solved, to add.) 

But her mother embraced with so much love at that moment she felt like she had been away for a very long time.

“Welcome home, honey,” she said with a hoarse voice as she Taeyeon’s hair like she did when the young lady was just a little kid.  Taeyeon always liked that.  She felt genuinely loved.

When they pulled away with only short acknowledgements of nods and loving smiles (and more hair ), Taeyeon could not help but noticed those heavy dark circles looming underneath her mother’s tired eyes.  She must have been crying, no, weeping.  She hid it well for the past few days; Taeyeon was certain her mother was the most excited at her own idea of sending Taeyeon off to live with Jungsoo.  At that moment, Taeyeon realized how selfish she had been to have forgotten that this was not the first time her mother had to let go of, yet, another child of hers into adulthood.

“I missed you, mom.”

“I missed you, too, my dear Taengoo.”

“Me, too!” Hayeon exclaimed, tugging at her older sister’s clothes.

They shared a few exchanges of typical, welfare concerns before the beating of heels against the wooden floor grew louder from the distance with the emerging presence of two other young females.

“Look at that, how sweet,” the bobbed hair one voiced, folding her arms as she watched in amusement.

“Hey we need some attention, too, Taengoo,” the blonde spoke, familiarly addressing Taeyeon.

The young mistress turned her attention to the other occupants in the room, grinning before her eyes even set themselves on the two visitors.

“Well, hello, my dear friends in insoles,” Taeyeon greeted mockingly, tangling her arms around the two females standing leveled to her own height.

“Welcome home, precious member of the shorty trio club,” the short hair girl joked in return, spinning Taeyeon around in small loops and circles within her grasp.

That was Lee Soonkyu, but she would prefer to be called Sunny for the lack of love on her old-fashioned Korean name.  She was cute and at times that was quite useful; other times, it would earn her a rough pinch on the cheeks or, worse, a punch.  Despite her size, she was known to be quite handy with – well – everything, from mothering to catching chickens.  Reliable and observant.  Some say she had the eagle eyes; that also could be also be a dangerous factor.

“Can I quit?” Taeyeon raised her eyebrow, asking all too seriously.

“Sorry dear, your growth spurt stopped so you’re stuck with us.”

Kim Hyoyeon, one who would knock you back to reality in the most brutally straightforward, honest way possible.  Still, those were among her better traits. She leaned toward more on the reckless side.  There was no better description to her life or just anything about Hyoyeon as an individual than the word dance.  She practically devoted her whole effort to it and she loved everything about it.  One more thing, she would be an embarrassment – the good kind, at least.  Taeyeon loved that, though.

These two had been Taeyeon’s classmates and buddies since junior high.  They were almost inseparable until the occupation of being an adult conflicted with each other schedules.  They were the only people beside Taeyeon’s own family (to which Yoona and Seohyun included) that she trusted and were comfortable around.  Still, she never told them everything.

Yes, she was home and now she was back to being comfortable. But this was only temporary.  And again, comfortableness was dangerous.

---

“So how did it go?” Sunny started curiously, nudging at Taeyeon who threw back at her a puzzling look.

They sat on white benches at the outfield garden in the backyard with a fancy tea set for three placed nearby.  It had been a while since they had this moment of girls gossip, and in this century, the only other convenient style of communication was through written letters, which would take forever to receive and somewhat, according to Hyoyeon, too much of a hassle (so in short, it was not that all convenient.)

“You know, with Park Jungsoo,” Sunny whispered, as if it was a top secret discussion meant to be left disclosed. 

There was really no need for that though because Taeyeon did nothing.  That, itself, was more of a problem. 

“Normal.  We talked,” Taeyeon replied nonchalantly, lifting the cup to . 

The steaming lavender tea burned her tongue.  She enjoyed the sort of burning sensation that the wine had to offer instead.  This?  This was too plain.  Too…bitter, ironically.

“You talked,” Hyoyeon repeated sarcastically, “That gives us so much details Taeyeon.”

“We had some meals together,” Taeyeon said, adding a block of sugar into her tea.  Maybe that would make it taste better.  “I think that was it… maybe a walk or two in his backyard-”

“One week living together and no !?” Hyoyeon was practically yelling out of frustration now, and Sunny had to cup with a slap in the face.  So much for being secretive.

“We slept in different rooms.  Plus, I had no interest,” Taeyeon replied blatantly, adding another block of sugar.

Hyoyeon sat back in her seat, rubbing the corners of her creased eyebrows in disbelief.

“What more do you want, Taengoo?”

Strange, they would rather hear Taeyeon bear that weight in her stomach than knowing their friend was still pure, in exchange that the two had absolutely none of those mutually loving interactions they had anticipated.

“You’re twenty-four already,” Sunny stated as a matter of fact, “You have to get yourself a husband, a family.”

“And get laid,” Hyoyeon added, getting her point across flat on the table.

It came like a reflex, like her mind was running an engine of its own leaked with Merlot.  Taeyeon started to become curious of the red-haired siren’s age, if it was close to hers, and if she was already a wife.  Or maybe a fiancé, like her.  A lover, even.  It was an absolutely useless curiosity but Taeyeon could not resist the urge to ponder over it through the course of the conversation.  She kept her expression tamed.

“Said the people who are still single s,” the young mistress scoffed under her breath, sipping her sweetened tea.  Too sweet.

“We haven’t found the suitable guy, yet,” the short hair one said in disappointment as the other nodded in defeat.

“And you think Jungsoo is the right man for me?  How?” Taeyeon questioned with a twitch of an eye.  She asked herself that often but she still could not understand their perspective.

“He is!  He has the charms, the brain-”

“And this!” Hyoyeon jumped in, rubbing her thumb against her middle finger in a prevalent gesture.

“You two are pathetic,” Taeyeon sighed, placing down her teacup, “Why don’t you go marry him then.”

“Everyone knows he is off the hook because of you, Taengoo,” Sunny began, “He loves you, and even for the other side of the public who knows nothing about this engagement, they’ve probably already predicted this to happen.  You in a wedding dress walking down the aisle toward him as your husband.  Almost everyone can picture that perfectly, and guess what, it fits well.”

Taeyeon kept in silence, pondering on Sunny’s words.  Those were nowhere near her personal views as the main character in this marriage game they were playing.

“Why don’t you just ditch the engagement plans then?  If you hate it so much, just do what your broth-” Hyoyeon paused mid-sentence, realizing she had hit the touchy topic again.

“I can’t.  I can’t let my parents down again.  I’m doing this for them.  And for Hayeon,” Taeyeon reasoned, an ache submerging into her brain, “I can’t just leave her.  Not after what happened to me.  I can’t let her go through that.”

“Are you trying to make it better between you two?  I mean, you are getting married in about a week,” Sunny asked in concern.

“I’ll try.”

Hyoyeon exhaled, shaking her head.  “That meant you haven’t been trying.”

“I still have a couple of days to live my life before it is to be shared with someone else.  That’s what marriage means right?  Sharing your life with your significant other,” Taeyeon said, scrapping the white paint off the bench with her nails.  “I want to be me.  Just for now, I want to have my life for myself.”

“How are you enjoying it so far?” Sunny asked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Taeyeon smiled, the scenes of the night bar became almost impossible to lock away.  She kept them bare this time.  Just for a short while.  She suddenly felt more relaxed. 

“Simply with late nights in a bar, sips and shots of Merlot wine, and a siren’s voice...oh, and company.”

The sweetness of the lavender tea scratched at her tongue.

==========A/N==========

I'm finally back \(^__^)/  This chapter took a while for nunerous reasons... laziness and writer's block included.

Soda candies for anyone who gets the main metaphor in this chapter!  

I'm aiming for a lot of symbolism in this fanfiction, and I hope that some of you will understand them (>A< )  This chapter is to dedicated mostly Taeyeon's life because it is significantly important to the plot and events occuring later on.  Also, this will end up to be a longer "multi-shot" than I expected but I really do hope that I don't write more than I intended.

Next chapter will have TaeNy, so stay tune~