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Paper Mâché

 

14.
 

Dull buzzing and light breathing echoed through Kyungsoo’s blank mind as his head rested against Kai’s shoulder. Little circles were traced onto Kyungsoo’s bare forearm as they both stared up through the sunroofs and into the sky. It was a serene moment with mists of dread mixing beneath the surface.

They connected. Kyungsoo could almost physically feel a part of him being ripped away while a new foreign piece came rushing in and made him whole again. Knowing that exchange had happened between them made Kyungsoo flash through feelings of warmth, contentment, and ache. A mild throb pulsed harsher and harsher, because with that exchange came a penalty.

Kyungsoo curled into Kai’s side and sighed. He wanted to tell himself that he didn’t regret it but he was second guessing his decision. Through their broken exclamations of love, Kyungsoo felt his heart break somewhere in between. He loved Kai and Kai loved him. Then again, what would happen when the unavoidable took place and they wouldn’t be able to see each other anymore, when they wouldn’t be able to smell, touch, or be together anymore? Kyungsoo wondered, would his departure be even more excruciating?

“Stop.”

Kyungsoo's thoughts halted immediately at the sound of the interruption. He tilted his head upward and met with Kai’s gaze.

“What you’re thinking, stop it.”

Kyungsoo sighed heavily and turned so his lips met with Kai’s collarbone. “I’m just…I’m sorry.” His mumbles lightly vibrated across the skin. Kai ran his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair for a few moments before speaking.

“I’m not.”

Kai’s challenging stare gave Kyungsoo enough discomfort that he forced himself to turn and look to the sky. “But this is going to hurt us both,” Kyungsoo rasped out.

“You’re right. But listen,” Kai nudged his shoulder up, making Kyungsoo tilt his face toward Kai again, “I figured that out a while ago. It’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Kyungsoo wanted to protest that. He wanted to tell Kai that he wasn’t worth it and that he didn’t ever want to be the reason behind Kai’s pain.

“Kyungsoo,” Kai’s tone changed, “Are you—Do you regret us?”

Time stopped for a few short moments and when it clicked back into place, there was a feeling of eureka. It was like Kai’s inquiry was the missing piece to Kyungsoo's internal riddle. Could Kyungsoo regret all of it? The way Kai peered into his eyes; the feeling of his body against his and how Kai spoke his name...No, Kyungsoo couldn't possibly wish that away.

Kyungsoo gripped the hand on his forearm tightly and shook his head. The ability to say reassuring and calming words ceased to exist. His tongue became a mangled mess and words clogged in his throat. All he could do was vigorously and continuously shake his head until Kai pulled his chin up and softly kissed him. Kyungsoo melted with sighs escaping him. He couldn’t regret this. He couldn’t regret something so good.

The rest of the school day consisted of Kyungsoo and Kai resting in their box with only the bottom halves of their wrinkled uniforms put on. They played little games with their hands, feet, and sometimes lips.  Together, they laughed at the cloud formations and guessed the drawings they traced onto each other’s skin. Kai had this effortless skill that made Kyungsoo be content in the now and not worry about anything else.   

A bell rang, signaling the end of another school day. Reluctantly, Kyungsoo and Kai sloppily buttoned up their uniform shirts and left their box. Finger by finger, they laced their hands together as they walked away from the school. At Kyungsoo’s front gate, the typical quick peck and cheeky grin was given along with the new addition of a loving squeeze through their connected hands. For some reason, Kyungsoo felt oddly shyer that day. He pushed Kai’s shoulder lightly while murmuring about how the neighbours or, more importantly, his parents might catch sight of them. Kai’s grin turned devilish before he took Kyungsoo’s lips in an aggressive fashion, along with his tongue intruding through Kyungsoo’s protests. Kai left Kyungsoo while laughing and avoiding Kyungsoo’s attempts to kick his shins.

Kyungsoo entered his home and greeted his parents. He showered, ate dinner, and finished his homework as his routine usually dictated. His bed comforter was warm and the white sketchbook that was retrieved from beneath his bed was calming. He leisurely appreciated every page before he fell asleep.

The rest of the school week went by. Maybe time flew away with hints of happiness, or maybe it was sadness. Perhaps it was strange that Kyungsoo didn’t really know. He did know that it felt different than what he was used to. However, Kai, the master of distractions, made Kyungsoo forget his woes in just the right ways.  

Kyungsoo arrived home one Friday evening after Kai had taken him to a new art shop that was famous for its paper mâché sculptures. He leaned against his front door and smiled down at an origami cat Kai had surprised him with before he strolled off . Kyungsoo absentmindedly kicked off his shoes and scurried into his house when a familiar scent caught his attention. His heart immediately dropped.

His school bag fell to the ground with a thud. He headed toward the kitchen with stiff and heavy feet. Once inside, his parents happily greeted him. Dinner was done lavishly with fancy garnishes and multiple side dishes. Instead of wandering over to his seat at the table and sitting quietly, Kyungsoo was frozen in the kitchen’s doorway with his eyes never leaving the large casserole dish at the center of the table.

“Kyungsoo,” His mother brightened upon his arrival, “We’ve been waiting for you! I made your favourite, why don’t you take a seat?”

It was almost funny how his favourite meal would be the final sign. While enjoying the taste of the meal he liked the most, his parents would excitedly tell him of another foreign location that they were to move to. He entertained the thought that maybe his taste buds’ joy would overcome the feeling of his plummeting gut.

But out of all the times, it was the first time that the aromatic scent of his favourite dinner had made him feel so nauseous. He was disgusted in fact. And soon, his disgust turned to anger.

“No,” he murmured softly as his eyes twitched and became irritated. He rubbed at them harshly and gritted his teeth, “We’re not having this conversation.” He could feel the surprised stares penetrate through his skin. 

“Kyungsoo…” His father bellowed out cautiously, “Is something the matter?”

Kyungsoo sharply turned his head to his father and shot him a heated gaze with a smile quivering to stay in place. “Where is it this time?”

“Kyung—"

“Let me guess, some beach town? If not, it’s probably a big city. You two can only handle the suburban life for so long.” He dryly laughed while drawing his eyes to the floor. He clenched tightly onto his school pants, “Would…would it really hurt you both to just stay put for once?”

“Sweetie,” His mother got up from her chair and walked over to him, “What’s wrong?” And she lightly put a hand on his shoulder. He found himself flinching at the touch and backing away.

His eyes began to hurt from his attempts to hold back any speck of frustrated tears. “You want to know what’s wrong?” his voice cracked through his mockery. “I don’t want to move. That’s what’s wrong. That’s what’s always been wrong. “

Kyungsoo had to hold back a laugh at the shock showcasing on his parents’ faces. “What? Did you think it was easy for me to adapt to all the new schools? Did you think it was fun to make new friends, only just to lose them? Did you really think I enjoyed moving?” He spoke out in a taunting tone, speaking through a grin that hurt too much to be legitimate.

The silence was haunting as the information sunk in. Kyungsoo was somewhere stuck on the decision of either bolting away or throwing a loud fit that involved yelling and plate smashing.

His father cleared his throat, “Kyungsoo, have a seat and we can—”

“I'd much rather stand,” he quickly replied with dead eyes and tone. He watched his mother out of the corner of his eyes as she slumped back into her chair.

“When you were younger, when we first told you that we were moving, do you remember what you told us?” His mother smiled but it didn't get rid of her tired eyes. “No, I don’t think you’d remember. It was a long time ago.” She sighed, “You were excited. You told us of all the new people you would meet and of all the new places you would explore. You said it would be an adventure.” 

Her smile turned more sad and bitter as she turned her gaze down to her empty plate, “I suppose that idea stuck with me throughout the years. But...why didn’t you say anything before?”

“How could I?” Kyungsoo weakly retorted, “You were so happy being wrapped up in your own world, I didn’t think I mattered.”

“Of course you matter!” his mother protested loudly, making Kyungsoo jump in surprise. “Kyungsoo, we’ve been getting calls from your school. They told us about how you’ve been skipping class. We thought that maybe it was a sign that you didn’t like it here.”

“And you just went ahead and assumed that was the truth? You couldn’t confront me about it?” he bit back.

“Don’t talk to your mother that way,” his father cut in. “What else were we supposed to assume? You’ve been different since we’ve been here. Your behavior has been so erratic—“

“Different? Erratic? I didn’t realize that being happy was so out of the ordinary,” he felt a short and sarcastic laugh escape him, “Not that it ever lasted long. A little voice always reminded me that this would happen. That I would have to start my life over again and leave everything behind.” A tear escaped as he opened one of his hands and saw the crumpled remains of the black paper cat. “I had grown used to it before but I’ve changed now. Someone here changed me and made me realize that I just… can’t play along anymore.”

There was a heaviness that dampened the air above their heads. His parents exchanged a set of looks before they turned to Kyungsoo again. “What would you like us to do?” his mother whispered.

He stared past his mother as he tried to think up a reasonable response. The child inside requested to stay indefinitely, but he knew that would be too big of a step for his parents to handle. He thought of alternatives until he came across one. It was an easy one, in his opinion. He wanted more time. He just wanted a bit more time. “Just until graduation. Just…two more months and then we can leave.”

The expression on his parents’ faces sunk his hope in a split second. “We’re sorry Kyungsoo, but…that would be a little difficult for us,” his father spoke. “We’ve already laid down the first month payment for the new condo; we would lose a lot of money and even the condo if we were to cancel it now.”

He should have known. He nodded numbly and didn’t say a word as he turned and walked out of the kitchen. He sluggishly went up the stairs and entered his bedroom. He slipped into his pajamas and flattened himself down on his bed. His stomach grumbled in protest, asking to be filled before Kyungsoo rested his eyes. He could only try his best to ignore the feeling and cling onto his pillow with some hopes of comfort. He fell asleep with the contrasting feel of paper digging into his palm and the plushness of his bed.

Kyungsoo felt himself slowly coming back to consciousness but he stubbornly kept his eyes shut. Maybe he would fall back asleep. Maybe time would stop. Maybe the night before was just a bad dream. However, it only took a few more irritating and long minutes before he gave up and blinked his eyes open. He squirmed in an attempt to bring life back to his muscles when something pinched against his collarbone. Removing the item, he found what was left of his origami cat. He cursed internally as he painstakingly tried to bring the wrinkled paper to its original feline form.  It did eventually find its original shape though it appeared more limp and tattered. He cynically thought he could relate to its condition.  

He placed the paper cat on his night table before letting his feet slide out from his bed comforter and onto cool floorboards. When he straightened himself up, his stomach groaned and ached from the lack of nutrition. Numbers light up on a nearby clock and they indicate that he might have a chance to eat before his parents get up. He forced his body to quicken its pace in order to reach the kitchen in a timely manner.

He could only freeze when the sight of his two parents situated at the kitchen table greeted him. His father’s newspaper was nowhere in sight and his mother had opted for apple juice instead of tea. Their smiles when they saw him made him suspicious and confused. It was almost as if a cloud of contentment wrapped around them. Was the night before really just a bad dream?

“Have a seat.” His father motioned to Kyungsoo’s usual chair. He felt himself following the soft demand before remembering that he was supposed to be angry and rebellious.

“Your mother and I had a long chat last night,” his father slowly told him, a hand clasping one of his mother’s. “And we’ve come to a compromise.”

“We trust you, Kyungsoo,” his mother spoke up. “You’ve never caused us much trouble. You’ve been so selfless through what we’ve—I’ve put you through. Since you are eighteen and we haven’t been able to sell the house yet, your father and I came to an agreement.”

A compromise? What sort of compromise? Kyungsoo swears he must be having a heart attack. There was no way the rapid clenching and constrictions were normal.

“We decided that you could stay here until the house is either sold or until you graduate. We'll settle in the condo in the meantime.”

There. His heart somehow wormed itself into his throat. His mind was reeling in disbelief.  This must be a dream. This was a dream.

“But don’t think you get off easy!” his father pointed at him in mock suspicion. “We’ll drop by a lot and when you least expect it too.”

“Pick up your jaw,” his mother chuckled. “We can and will take this offer back if there are any reasons that show that you are unable to live on your own. But we both think you’ll be fine…won’t you?”

Kyungsoo numbly found himself nodding along.

“Good! By the way, when we were searching for a new place, we took your future education into consideration. The city we’re moving to has a vast amount of schools and job opportunities to choose from. When we went to pay the deposit on our condo, we actually picked up some university brochures if you’re interested.” His mother slid a number of pamphlets across the table. Kyungsoo looked down to them, eyes skimming over the decorative front panels.

“May I be excused?” he found himself asking. His parents blinked up at him rather confused before they both slowly nodded their heads. After one dip of his head, Kyungsoo slid his chair back and it let out a small screech. He calmly walked out of the kitchen and made his way over to the entrance where he took a light windbreaker from the closet and zipped it up while he shoved on his sneakers. He opened his front door and exited his home.

He crossed his arms tightly and found his strides becoming wider and faster. By the time there was only one block left, he was sprinting. His feet only stopped when they were facing a front door that looked similar to his own. He knocked on the door with hard and insistent knocks in between his gasps for air. The door opened to reveal a stern looking man who appeared to be as confused as Kyungsoo was to see him.

“I-Is Jongin available?” Kyungsoo stuttered out just when he realized who was standing before him.

Kai’s father raised an eyebrow while analyzing Kyungsoo. It struck Kyungsoo at that moment that he had left his home without changing out of his pajamas first. 

“He’s in the shower right now. Maybe you could come back later?” Kai’s father’s eyes pointedly glanced to Kyungsoo’s flannel pants. 

“No!” he blurted out. “I mean—No, I’ll just wait out here. It’s really important.” He spoke urgently, eyes trying to portray his desperation.

The man was startled to say the least. “Well, if you’re going to wait, you might as well come inside instead of staying out in the cold.” He pulled the door further open and moved to the side. “Come on now, before the cold air gets in.”

Kyungsoo put one foot forward and then stumbled getting over the small ledge. Kai’s father gripped onto his upper arm to stabilize him and scolded him to watch his step. It was safe to say he was a bit mortified. His first meeting with Kai’s father couldn’t get much worse.

Kyungsoo shortly found out that, yes, it could get worse. Kai father’s showed him to the living room and motioned for him to sit on the couch. He presumed proper posture and stiff shoulders when Kai’s father sat down on a La-Z-Boy that faced him. He guessed that Kai’s mother was busy in the kitchen when he heard clanging and running water from nearby.

After a few moments of awkward silence and Kyungsoo trying his hardest to ignore that piercing gaze that refused to leave him; the man spoke, “So…you’re a friend of Jongin?”

Before Kyungsoo could reply, he heard loud thumping coming from the stairs and watched as Kai casually walked into the living room with a towel around his shoulders. Their eyes met and Kai froze in mid walk. He glanced over to his father and then back to Kyungsoo.

“What’s going on? Why are you here?” he asked worriedly. “Dad, did you—“

“Is this your…friend you spoke of?”

“No, I told you, he’s my boyfriend. “ Kai stomped over and grabbed onto Kyungsoo’s hand. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.” He laced their fingers together in an obvious manner and showcased it to his father before dragging a speechless Kyungsoo away.

“B-boyfriend?” Kyungsoo’s words stumbled out when they entered Kai’s room. “What did you—And to your father! I can't...it's your father!”

“Calm down, I told him a while ago about you. He’s still getting used to the idea but I wouldn’t worry about it much. He’s loosened up since…you know, the art thing.” Kai smiled and pulled Kyungsoo to sit down on the bed next to him. “So, what did I do to deserve this visit?”

Kyungsoo’s frantic thinking came to a stop.  “Oh…oh! Right!” he spoke out. He turned to Kai fully and took a deep breath. “I spoke to my parents last night and—uh, what's with the face?” Kyungsoo paused when he saw how Kai’s smile dropped and his eyes dulled.

“Is this the part where you tell me you’re leaving?” Kai whispered and glanced down to his lap. He rubbed a hand over his face slowly and silently laughed.

“Wait, what? No, Jon—“

“Even though I knew it was coming soon, it still really .” Kai faced the ceiling and a broken smile cracked through his lips.

“Listen, can you just—“

“How long?” Kai asked. “How long until you’re gone?”

“Jongin…I’m not—“

“Wait! Before you say anything. Kyungsoo," Kai grasped Kyungsoo hands tightly, "You know I love you, right? You know that even if you're away, I'll still love you.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile. “Jongin... I know and I love you too but, I need you to listen. What I’ve been trying to tell you for the past minute was that I’m not leaving, at least, not until after graduation or until my house gets sold.”  

Kai slowly turned his head to Kyungsoo, jaw opening and closing. “You’re kidding…”

Kyungsoo smirked right back. “What? Do you want me to be kidding?”

“No!” Kai cried before composing himself. “But seriously, you’re staying? Until graduation?”

“Yes, that is what I said,” he lightly laughed. “But after that, I’ll probably move back in with my parents. The city they’re going to has a lot of good universities to choose from.”

“City?” Kai froze and then spoke quickly. “Like a big city that’s kind of close by?”

“Uh, maybe? My parents said they would visit me often.” Kyungsoo replied while furrowing his eyebrows. “Why?”

Kai sprung up from the bed and raced over to his desk. He shuffled through some papers before returning with a white page covered in typed font. He eagerly handed the paper to Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo skimmed over the letter and quickly realized it was Kai’s acceptance letter.

“Um, why did you hand me this?”

“Look at the return address, is it familiar?” Kai nibbled in his bottom lip with his eyes expectant.

Kyungsoo looked to the top left corner of the page and read the address. The city’s name stuck out from the rest. Kyungsoo then remembered seeing the same name while briefly glancing over the university brochures his parents gave him earlier that day.

“Please.” Kai’s words spoke through Kyungsoo’s trance. “Please say that’s where you’re going.”

Kyungsoo lowered the page to his lap. “It…it is. Your art school is there? Rea—Ooff!” Kyungsoo was tackled into the bed with Kai tightly squeezing him in his embrace. Kai laughed contently against Kyungsoo’s neck. Kyungsoo attempted to reciprocate the joy but his arms would remain glue to his sides if Kai continued to hold onto him so tightly.

Kai finally loosened his grip in order to shimmy himself up and shower pecks all over Kyungsoo’s face, purposely avoiding the lips with a cheeky grin. Kyungsoo could only smile along with Kai’s antics. That is, he could until he caught sight of the room’s door opening and Kai’s father peeking in.

Kyungsoo immediately shoved Kai away with a strong push. Kai just managed to grip the comforter hard enough to save himself from falling off the bed. He looked like he was about to question Kyungsoo when he realized that Kyungsoo had backed away with his hands covering his face. Kai looked over his shoulder and groaned when he saw his father standing in his doorway.

“Dad, can’t you knock?” he grumbled. Kyungsoo peeked through his fingers to see Kai’s father's stone cold expression.

“Your mother was kind enough to make both of you lunch. Don’t take too long or it’ll get cold.” And his father walked out with the door clicking shut behind him.

“Oh.My.God.” Kyungsoo shrieked. “Y-your father! He saw us!”

“That’s what happens when he doesn’t knock,” Kai replied with a predatory grin stretching onto his lips as he crawled toward Kyungsoo.

“For heaven's sake, Jongin! You were on top of me. And do not give me that look! Your parents are home and they can probably hear us.” Kyungsoo contradicted his words when he let Kai straddle him without a fight. 

The kiss was one that sent sparks flying about. It felt like some sort of movie worthy moment as Kyungsoo and Kai celebrated with connecting and reconnecting their lips. Fingers lovingly brushed against his jaw while his own enjoyed the texture of Kai's hair. 

Their lips slid and their arms tightened around each other in an embrace that felt so right and so good. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and relished in the pleasant feeling. He wasn't going anywhere. He was going to stay right there with Kai in his arms.

And this time, it was the truth. 


(Chapter revised 27/11)
Hi everyone :D ....:D...:D..:D D:!!! *runs away* 

Omg, I'm sorry for the wait! I've been crazy busy. Finding time to write was a little difficult. August is usually a terribly busy month for me. If you guys want further details on my whining why I took longer than usual, please see this blog post.
Okay that done. Story talking time: ...BOOOOOOMM! OF COURSE KYUNGSOO WASN'T GOING TO LEAVE AJKFHDKJHFDS. I think a good amount of you knew that. I don't think you guys understand how fluffy of a person I am. I couldn't bear to seperate Kaisoo.
So....um. The story is ending soon. Like...I have only the epilogue left. Wai-WHAT? Yup. Just an epilogue to wrap everything up. BTW, before anyone asks (because I've been seeing this pattern with other stories, including ones I've written), I DO NOT DO SEQUELS. So, you can ask/demand all you want but it.just.won't.happen. Kay cool. 
Comment reply time! ACTUALLY, since it's been a while since I updated and I don't want my A/N to be longer than the chapter cause of replies, I will reply to comments via wallposting again. I'm sorry everyone for the long wait :(
So. Guys. I don't know what to do anymore. How amazing are you all? First off, I'm almost at friggin 700 subs. WTF. Seriously. And there are so many comments. And then I see people recommending this on tumblr and I'm = dead. And then some people even tweet and fb like this. God.damn.it. I am too fortunate! /uglysobbing.  THANK YOU! YES YOU WHO IS READING THIS. YOU ARE AWESOME. Have a god damn cookie. You deserve it. 
A special thank you to DarkDreamer here on AFF for this wonderful fantastic amazing eyeblinding fanart! It's so friggin' cute. /dead. 

Okay, now I probably shouldn't write anymore. You guys have been waiting too long already. So, here's a pic and I'm gone!

Kyungsoo: La dee dahhh, ohh what's that over there?
Kai: Remove that arm or I will pee on everything you love. 

PS: I edited chapter 13 or the M chapter. I was told by a wonderful commenter, DinoMadness, that saliva is not sufficent for lubrication. In fact, it will dry too quickly and will be very painful for both parties involved. So, for many reasons, I went and changed things a little. Nothing too big. 

PSS: I'm a fat liar sometimes. One more thing and I promise I'm done. I will not post the epilogue until I finish revising the entire story. I have done hmmm, just the foreword and 1st chapter? I'm just doing some rewording and minor corrections. Most of the first few chapters were done without my awesome beta siahna soooo yeah. Fixing 'em up.  KAYBYE.
 

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PurplePluto
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Comments

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Zndjcjaj #1
❤️🩵
tonnettie
#2
Chapter 17: Why did I just encounter this story just now. This is such a gem!
LovelyEonnie
#3
Chapter 17: Thanks for this beautiful story!
LovelyEonnie
#4
Chapter 1: Loner bad boy Kai. Tbis is intetesting!
LovelyEonnie
#5
Chapter 1: This was posted on twitter. So here, i am
blackheartedlove
#6
Chapter 2:
I JUST REMEMBERED THIS FIC TT kaidi 4ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8Rm4oQGGdI&;t=287s
hutaoirl #7
coming back to read this again...
Redmintchoco #8
Chapter 2: ❤