Hanwook

Super Junior's One Shot Wonderland [Requesting Closed]

Requested by: superkpopgirl

Pairing: Hanwook

Theme: angst (well my attempt at angst...)

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I sobbed as he walked out, slamming the door behind him.  When had things gone so wrong?  When had we become so disjointed.  It seemed like just yesterday we were inseperable, joined at the hip. 

It happened so slowly, that I didn't even realize how we were changing... how he was changing.  I smiled through my tears as I remembered the day I met him, the day he saved me. 

I didn't have a nice childhood, I wasn't what you would call priveleged.  My father had abandoed us when I was six, and my mother drowned her pain in alcohol and prescription pain medication.  She blamed me when my father left, and she never let me forget.  She took every opportunity to beat that fact into me, engraving the knowledge into my head with every scar she left on my adolescent skin.

Then one night, she beat me half to death, leaving me to bleed out in the alley behind our mobile home.  I didn't remember exactly what happened after that, the first thing I remembered clearly was a worried face looking down at me.  And the voice, that wonderful soothing voice.

He was the one that picked me up and carried me to his home.  He was only ten, four years older than me, but he carried me the three miles to his house.  HIs parents were away on business, but he stopped my bleeding, he cleaned my wounds and eased my pain.

After that, he became my big brother, and my best friend.  His parents opened their arms, and took me in.  He saved me from the hell of the streets, and he gave me a family.  His parents were often gone, so we formed an unbreakable bond... well at least it seemed so.

When he wanted to study in China, I went right along with him.  It didn't matter that I would be in a strange country, it didn't matter that I couldn't speak the language, all that mattered was that we would be together.  It was about that time that I realized I loved him.

He was always there, making me laugh and smile.  He was the one who held me close and dried my tears when nightmares from my past plagued my nights.  He was the one that told me it wasn't my fault that my father left, he was the one that assured me that I mattered and that I was loved.

I smiled bitterly as I remembered how we started dating.  There was never an official love confession, it just happened.  We never said it out loud, but I believed that our love didn't need to be vocalized.  Every touch, and every sweet kiss was enough to convince me that my feelings were returned.

I picked myself off the cold hardwood floor of our shared apartment, and I stumbled into the bathroom.  I looked at my reflection, and saw a stranger looking back at me.  My face was so thin and pale, my cheeks were sunken in, and I looked like a skeleton.  Black circles hung below my dull eyes.  My eyes that had once sparkled with thoughts of him, were now cloudy and emotionless.  He had turned me into an empty shell.

When had our love become so contorted?  When had he become so twisted?

My legs shook, and tears dripped from my dead eyes.  He stopped letting me go out.  He wouldn't let me have friends, and got angry when I talked to anyone else.  He told me he loved me too much to share me, and I didn't even stop to think.  My love was enough to blind me, and I easily complied, shutting myself off from the rest of the world.

He became my whole world, the only thing that mattered.  I doted on him, doing everything he wanted, doing everything that was expected of me.  It didn't even matter when he started to say hateful things, I just accepted it, and took it.

I listened as he called me ugly, and told me that no one else would ever love me.  He told me over and over how lucky I was to have him, and I believed him when he told me I should be grateful.  I don't remember when I stopped eating, it just seemed like the right thing to do.  I didn't want to get fat and become even more ugly.  I was so desperate to keep him by my side that I starved myself, shaving my already frail figure down to skin and bones.

I wobbled into our bedroom, trailing my boney fingers along the spotless desk before I settled down on our bed.  I tried to remember the tender touches, and words of love that we had exchanged during our most intimate moments.  Try as I might, all I could recall was pain, and harsh words.  I gave him all that I could, but it was never enough, and he always demanded more.

I ran my hand over his pillow, and I wondered why he had started to hit me.  I tried to be perfect, I tried to be exactly what he wanted.  But I wasn't flawless, I was only human, there was only so much I could do.  I let him hit me, I just lay there and let the blows rain down over my body.

I was no stranger to pain, and I deserved to be punished.  The next day he came to me crying, begging me for forgiveness.  I only smiled and shook my head, assuring him that there wasn't anything to apologize for.  Now, it seemed like everything I did provoked him. I didn't even flinch as he slapped me, or called me horrible names.

When had constatnt pain and hostility become my reality?  When did my dream melt into such a nightmare?

I looked down at the bed I had shared with him for eight years, the same bed I had seen him in with another man.  I just didn't have enough energy to feel the hurt of betrayal.  He had slapped me and left me crying on the ground to go chase after that stranger.

I opened his bedside drawer and pulled out the silver pistol I knew he kept there.  He had threated me enough with it for me to know it's exact location.  I the cold metal gently, lovingly.  This deadly weapon was the only thing I could find solace in.

I was tired, much too tired to keep trying so hard.  I lifted the gun to my head, my hand steady and assured.  I had no fear, I knew only peace awaited me on the other side.  I smiled faintly as I cocked the weapon, making it ready to fire.

My smile grew larger, and a few salty tears made their way down my emaciated cheeks.  I would no longer burden him.  It was my last and final attempt to please him.

"Good-bye Hangeng, I love you" I whispered softly.

I pulled the trigger.

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This was oneshot was really hard for me to write...

This was my first attempt at angst, and it was also my first time writing Hanwook

If you couldn't tell, the story was told in Wookie's POV

I hope this wasn't too disappointing, and I hope you didn't hate it superkpopgirl...

Anyway, thanks to all my readers for putting up with me, I have some Yemin coming up for bubbleroses and KyuWookBiasedStalker! ^^

 

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Comments

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iam_me00
26 streak #1
Chapter 31: Cute and adorable KyuWook and HaeMin 🥺... Hitting on Leeteuk, ey
Annroy89 #2
Chapter 6: Ive never seen Immortal song but could really picture everything on wonderful writings
Annroy89 #3
Chapter 3: Nicely written:) Love the fluff
Annroy89 #4
Chapter 2: Love it,please write more
Reyhanehnoorgostar
#5
Chapter 31: I want kyuwook
lovekyuwook
#6
I feel like Im in Kyuwook paradise!!
I never want to leave! XD
ryena87 #7
Chapter 18: Och my heart >,<
so sad T.T
PenguinProductions05
#8
Chapter 2: U should make this vamp one a multichaptered fic