(Luhan) Log 22

Silver Heart
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Emer continues to study. The amount of time she spends in her room preparing for the test is heightened. I do not see her as often as I would like. I do not know if she has chosen to keep the flowers I gave her, or whether she tossed them into the trash.

When I gave them to her, she reminded me that colors are prohibited in the Argent region, but that flowers … flowers were an exception.

That gave me hope. And I hope that she decided to keep them, and that the flowers are leaning inside a vase with a laser of sunlight falling through her window. Are they still as bright as they were when I first bought them? Do they still seem as wild as when I last saw them?

That question holds an answer only Emer would know.

I miss her. A part of me supports her and roots for her future. I want her to do her best on that test. That test determines her life as an independent adult. I want to see her succeed in the path she chooses to pursue.

Yet the other part of me wants to keep her all to myself. I want to ask her to be with me. I want her to study in a place where I can observe her. I want her to try to solve the Rubik’s Cube, and I want her to let me teach her how. And maybe, if she comes downstairs, I would be okay with revealing the secret of my delicious hot chocolate that she loves so much.

I simply want her.

But the things I want should never be something I pursue. My own selfish desires are unimportant. What matters the most is that Emer does what she wants to do, and that she is happy. If being happy means that I need to distance myself, then so be it.

However, that doesn’t make it easy.

It feels as if I am going back to the way things were. I play with my Rubik’s Cube. I accomplish my chores. And I wait.

I should be used to waiting. I was in a closed room for three months. But waiting for the days to pass in such an open space as this gives me a bizarre, unusual feeling of discontentment. I am not doing enough. I find that I am convincing myself to believe in excuses so I can allow myself to act on my own. I am selfish, and even though I understand that selfishness is wrong, it feels right to want something for myself. It’s a strange feeling between darkness and light.

I stare at the tattoo on my wrist. The color of the code has sunk into my skin. I can barely see it.

Does this mean that I have acquired abnormalities? Will the Institute have to fix me? If I go back, will I get the chance to see Emer again?

I am glad that she can’t see my tattoo. If she could, she might worry, and I can’t let her worry about me. She doesn’t need to waste her precious time on an Exon like me.

Emer’s mother returns home from work later and later. The decisions made about the incident in the Market have been announced, and because of that, every Government worker has been put underneath a lot of stress. A bevy of expectations follow their choices as they strive to resolve the issue that could potentially divide the Argent and Brass region, more so than they are now. Questions of equality arise, endangering people’s opinions on loyalty. As a result, the council creates a pact wit

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There will be a sequel to this story, please anticipate it.

Comments

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ollie_wolly03
#1
Chapter 29: i can’t believe you just made me cry through this incredibly beautiful story. I thought it was very well written with the plot and character development that they all had along the way and it was just simply worth-reading :’(
vampwrrr
#2
Chapter 30: I'm crying
Amelia_xl #3
Chapter 30: Sad ending :(
nekochibi-chan
#4
Chapter 29: I’d always knew that this story existed but I’d always avoided it. One of the reasons is because I’m not fond of the idea of human falling in love with a robot in a non-platonic way. I just can’t wrap my mind around it, no matter how hard I try. Nevertheless, I ended up reading this because I always come across this story (it’s been 2 years+-) so I thought I should give it a chance. In the end, I still can’t wrap my mind around the idea but I truly enjoy your story. I like your writing style because it keeps reeling me in to continue reading it until the end. I also like how you write the story from both perspective of both Luhan and Emer. All in all, thank you for the great story. I have fun reading it :3
darlingyeol
#5
Chapter 15: why do I feel it's more heartbreaking the more I read chapter through chapter.. T_T