Myungsoo suddenly wanted to be swallowed whole by the earth right then and there. He flinched upon realizing his slip of the tongue.

You idiot, he thought bitterly. His grip on his phone tightened, and he couldn’t quite understand the sudden acceleration of his heartbeat. In one way or another, he figured out he wanted to know the girl’s answer, as well. Time seemed to stop, and the air around Myungsoo thickened, making him unable to breathe properly.

“Should we?” Sunshine finally said. “It might kill the fun and suspense, though.”

“So are you saying all of this is just a stupid game?” he fired. His eyes widened upon his sudden retort, so he took it back by apologizing.

“It’s fine,” she replied calmly. Another long pause lingered, and Sunshine said again, “Should we?”

“I think I’m forcing you to,” Myungsoo muttered, while rubbing his temple with his free hand. “Just forget about it.”

She sighed, and said, “I think I want to know who you are, too.”

Silence fell upon the two, and they could only listen to each other’s breathing. Myungsoo, in that moment, was able to perfectly hear the pulsing of his clock which seemed to be in tune with his heartbeat. He could hear his blood gushing in his ears and veins. Who was she, anyway? How was she able to have that kind of effect on him? He wondered if her words would have the same warmth if he could read it on a piece of paper.

“There’s only one record shop found near the National Library,” Myungsoo said, breaking the trance they let themselves fall into. “Is it too far?”

“No,” Sunshine replied. “That place is fine. I know where it is.”

“Saturday at one in the afternoon?”

“Saturday at one in the afternoon,” she confirmed.

Myungsoo resisted the urge to smile, and so he said instead, “Goodbye, Sunshine.”

“Goodbye, Summer.”

Beep.

<:>

Suzy stared at her phone, wondering what she just said to Summer.

“How would I even know if it’s him?” she asked herself, before tossing her phone on her bed. Defeated, she plopped herself on her mattress, as well. “Stupid.”

She let out a sigh, and closed her eyes, hoping it would help her concentrate. Bae Suzy was supposed to be a good girl, who didn’t talk to strangers. She was supposed to be a girl who could listen well, especially to her elders. She was supposed to be the girl Sunggyu used to write about in that tiny notebook of his.

She was supposed to be.

“Noona!” Sang Moon bellowed outside her room, causing her to shoot up from her bed. “Dad said you should come outside. We’re having barbecue.”

Suzy glanced at her phone, and groaned upon seeing it was already ten in the evening. “I’m coming!”

She stood up lazily and pulled on her favorite hoodie. She paused, realizing it was the one Sunggyu gave her. In a rush she removed it and wore something else. Suzy then stepped out of her room, only to be greeted by Sang Moon, who was stomping his right foot against the floor out of impatience.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Why a barbecue all of a sudden?” the older one asked, completely lost.

“You know our parents,” Sang Moon answered with a sigh. “Let’s just obey.”

The siblings were finally out of the house, and the aroma of cooking meat wafted around their yard. Suzy’s stomach began to growl, and she realized she didn’t have her supper yet. She wondered just how long she locked herself up in her room that day. Lately she seemed to lose track of time, because she didn’t want to be conscious around her surroundings, especially if Sunggyu was there.

Mr. Bae was working on the grill, while his wife stayed on the round picnic table. She was preparing the salad and sauces. Sunggyu, on the other hand, stayed on the grassless part of the yard. He had started a bonfire, and a packet of marshmallows was beside him.

“Go and help your brother,” Mrs. Bae told the two.

The siblings nodded, and headed for the bonfire. Sunggyu looked up at them, and smiled. “We can have a piece each before eating.”

“Should we?” Sang Moon asked, grinning.

“Keep it a secret, though,” the older one added, while winking.

Suzy scoffed, and the younger two sat down on the ground to join their brother. Sunggyu prepared the marshmallows and barbecue sticks. He then handed the siblings a stick each. The two said thanks, and they outstretched their arms towards the fire.

“It’s been so long since we bonded like this,” Sunggyu pointed out.

“Yeah,” the two agreed.

“I heard you don’t fight a lot lately, as well,” he added. “It’s evident, though.”

“We need to grow up in one way or another,” Suzy muttered. She glanced at Sunggyu. “We have to let go of certain routines and emotions for that to happen.”

Sang Moon looked at his noona, but her eyes managed to give away nothing. Somehow, this impressed him. Was she really the same girl who cried her eyes out after talking to their older brother weeks before?

“I’ve only been gone for a while,” Sunggyu began. “But many things have changed. It’s quite amazing.”

“I’ve read in a book once: many things can happen in nineteen minutes,” she said, while rolling the barbecue stick between her thumb and index finger. “What more if you’ve been away for three weeks?”

At that moment Mr. Bae called Sang Moon, because he needed help with something. They stepped into the house, and Mrs. Bae followed, murmuring something about forgetting an ingredient or two. That left Sunggyu and Suzy alone in the yard.

“Have you been well lately?” he asked in a casual tone. This broke the awkward silence between them. “I don’t hear anything from you nowadays.”

“I’ve been well,” she answered.

“Ever since I’ve arrived I feel you’re somehow avoiding me.”

“I think you know the reason why.”

Sunggyu glanced at Suzy, who had downcast eyes. He sighed, and they both chewed on their heated marshmallows.

“I already lost to a corpse,” she carried on. “I should at least hold on to my last ounce of pride by walking away coolly.”

“Suzy—”

“And please,” she cut in. Tears welled from her eyes and she didn’t know if it had something to do with the smoke coming from the bonfire or if it was caused by the painful lump forming in . “Don’t be so nice to me. Don’t give me any more reasons to fall even harder. Please, I’m begging you.”

Silence shrouded them, and finally Sunggyu asked in that soothing voice of his, “Do you need me to go away for the time being?”

“Stay here,” she answered. “It’s selfish, I know, but stay here.”

Sunggyu looked at her, obviously waiting for an explanation.

“I don’t want to miss you,” she admitted. “So stay here.”

The older one could only pull off a crooked smile, and this made his facial expression vague. They stared at the crackling fire in silence, and breathed in the husky air.

<:>

Grocery bags were placed in front of Myungsoo’s door once again. He sighed, and stared at the door, all because two neon-colored sticky notes attracted his eyes. One was from his father, and the other one was from Daehyun.

Hyung,

Thank you for answering my letter! Now I have an idea as to what metaphors are. I hope I would be able to understand them the way adults would. I put in some Peppero sticks in the bag. They are my favorite snack. I hope you like them, too.

The letter from his father was the same as always, so he didn’t bother reading it thoroughly. He unlocked his door, stuffed his key back in his pocket and took the grocery bags before entering his apartment. He took the boxes of Peppero first and placed it in his cupboard before putting his guitar case on the sofa. He looked at the grocery bags from the living room, and decided he would give the homeless people in the subway a visit. He just had to wait for the night to sink in a little deeper, because it was still a little early.

Myungsoo decided to kill the time by writing a reply to Daehyun. In a way he wanted to share this to Sunshine, but he refrained from doing so. He figured that the letters he was writing to his younger brother was more personal. He was on his second paragraph when he heard the familiar sound of a car pulling over in front of his place. Seconds later, someone rang his doorbell. He looked outside his window, and saw his father in his car, waiting. He went downstairs to open his door, only to be grinned at by Daehyun.

“What are you doing here?” the older one asked. He tried to suppress his smile, but failed.

“Mom and dad are going somewhere for a week,” Daehyun explained. “I was supposed to stay in the house with my babysitter, but I wanted to be with you, hyung.”

Myungsoo glanced at his father’s car, and acted as if he overlooked the vehicle set on neutral. “Come in, then.”

“You’re not going to send me away?” he asked.

“It’s too late for that now. Come in.”

Daehyun waved at his father, and Myungsoo didn’t do anything. The car zoomed away, and the two stood in silence.

“Have you eaten, hyung?”

Myungsoo shook his head no. “Have you?”

The younger one nodded. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“I can cook eggs for you.”

Myungsoo scoffed. “You cook eggs?”

“Yes,” he answered, smiling.

“Some accident might happen,” he said. “I’ll eat later.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

“Why won’t you eat now?”

“Because I’m going somewhere.”

Daehyun cocked his head. “Where?”

“You can come if you want,” Myungsoo carried on. He sat down in front of Daehyun to meet his eyes, and he placed his index finger on his nose. “But you have to keep it a secret.”

“Okay,” the young boy whispered. “But where are we going, hyung?”

“Do you sleep on a warm, comfortable bed?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Do you eat regularly?”

“Yes.”

“Have you ever experienced throwing out food simply because you don’t want to eat it anymore?”

Daehyun seemed flustered, but nodded, anyway.

“Do you have clean clothes to wear on a daily basis?”

“Yes.”

“So,” Myungsoo concluded. “We’re going to a place where such things do not exist.”

Something flickered in Daehyun’s eyes. With a solemn voice, he asked, “Is that place even real?”

“It is,” the older one answered. “It’s so real that once you see it...you can never really look away.”

The two finally headed out after a while. Myungsoo held the grocery bags in one hand while he held his brother’s hand with the other. He found it strange how a small frame like Daehyun’s could emanate such warmth.

“Do you always do this with the groceries?” the young boy finally asked, breaking the silence.

“I do,” Myungsoo answered.

“Then what about you, hyung?”

“I have your Peppero,” he said. “So it’s okay.”

“Does dad know?”

He shrugged.

“I think he does,” Daehyun pointed out. “He said you needed more things earlier, you see.”

Myungsoo glanced at him, but didn’t say anything.

“Dad said you always like to share.”

Still no reply.

“Dad said he will always be proud of you, and that he’s sorry. I don’t know why he should be sorry,” Daehyun looked up at his brother, and his eyes widened. “Hyung…why are you crying?”

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."
- Ephesians 4:32

I apologize if I wouldn't be able to answer your replies in here. I can only generalize them now, because of certain reasons. Nevertheless, I do appreciate your comments. I can't help but smile because truly, I am encouraged. I will try to reply via PM to each and everyone of you, God willing.  Oh, and I chose Miss 51 out of a whim. That number doesn't mean anything to me yet. I don't have younger siblings. but I have younger cousins. Myungsoo's situation in this story is somewhat similar with mine. God bless!