From the moon
.An unrequited love of Jang Wooyoung and the blind pianist girl, Lee Jieun.
The weather is strangely good today. Raining in a spring day is not unusual scenery, but today it’s a bit warmer for me. Looking out the window, I heaves out relieves sigh and smiles brightly for another day I’ll go through, with a new spirit. It’s Friday anyway. Last day of the week.
But who ever thought this Friday will be the unforgettable day ever in my life. It's not the same as the past Friday I have been through.
I met her again.
My mom had once said to me that her husband, which is also my father (of course) is her first love. They met accidentally in the train when she was on her way to go back home after class. Everyday, she got in the same train, the same vacant seat, with the same conductor that will check her ticket and the same old people that went the same day, continuously everyday with her.
But the day she met my father, everything isn’t the same anymore.
The feeling of butterflies in our stomach, and knees becomes weak like jelly, my mom said she remembers those when she met my father. People always said that the first love usually came by the appearance and the attraction that feast their eyes, which makes the heart flutters and their brain thinking that they are currently have falls in love.
My father is a good looking man, I don’t deny that (which inherited by me too). But I believe it when my mom said he is her first love.
Because she is blind.
She can’t see, but she can feel.
The way I met the love of my life is differ from my mom’s. I’m the one who falls for her first.
Every morning I have an exercise routine, and always be the one who wakes up first before my mom to runs along the beach. It’s always been the same old, same old morning for me, everyday. But the day we met, it’s all changes.
I accidentally bump into her one day, and we both fall onto the sand. Maybe because I was running quite fast, so the impact makes her fell hard at the back.
It’s my fault for not noticing her in front of me, but I’m glad I did it.
Right after I fall, I quickly composed myself and went to help her to stand. I didn’t see her face at first, but once she glances towards me, I stunned.
She is so beautiful.
Her long hair flows with the morning breeze and how I wish time could just stop right there so I can just stand there, looked at her. I don’t know she is blind at the first place, cause she seems so perfect to me. For a moment I lose myself in the sight of her.
She tugged my hand slowly and I pull her to stand. She bows and apologized for being careless, though it’s actually my fault. I smiles towards her and bows back, looking her slowly walks passed me and suddenly she tripped but this time I managed to holds her from falling again.
That’s when I noticed her incapability to see, she is blind like mom.
I swayed my hand in front of her face to makes sure of it. Carefully, not intend to makes her hurt with my question, I asked.
“Miss, I’m sorry but.. are you blind?”
She hides her face between her long hairs and nods slowly. I offered myself to walks her home and she refused it, saying someone will take her home later. A feeling of jealousy tingled within me for a reason I’m not quite sure that time.
But though she is blind, it gives me advantages because I’ve been live with my mom who is in the same state like her. I know how to handle them, what the necessary things to speak about and how to make them feel like one of us. Naturally, she become fond with me, talking to me like we are best friend and laughing with my jokes. She is beautiful, indeed. And I feel so sure that I have fall with that but most of all, I fall for her genuine smiles and the feel of compatible between us. Though we just met for half an hour.
And that’s how it started. My morning routine became my favorite routine since then.
A tears runs down the moment she calls out for me. Her guide stick falls down and I quickly went to assist her back. Her knees bent down to the cold ground as she held up her hands to touch my face. I looked away in hoping the winds will somehow dry my tears.
“Oppa, is that you?” she try to stand up and search for me again. After I’m sure she is alright (her view state, not her heart) , I walks from her slowly.
My heart wrenched. The wind brushes away my tears and it drops onto the ground as I took a last glance to her.
“Miss Lee, are you okay? Let’s get in the house, looks like it will raining anytime soon.”
“No, Wooyoung is here. He’s here, Suzy. I have to find him.”
“No one is here, Miss Lee. Let’s get in the house now.” Suzy, her assistant took off her outer clothes to shield her head from the rains that start to pours. She insisted to stay and steps around carelessly with flails arms.
“But Wooyoung oppa is here. He hold me just now, I know that’s him. I know that’s him!”
Behind the thick walls, I shut my eyes closed but even though, tears still managed to escaped and it becomes one with the rains.
I shut my heart from remembering her, but even though the scent of her around still engages me, no matter what I have done to make her go.
Till when can I live like this?
I don’t even feel like I live. Literally, I lost my soul without her. I’m dead.
“I’m sorry, Jieun..”
“Drink this, Wooyoung. It will help to cool down the heat.”
My mom carefully held the glass of the medicine water to my mouth.
“I’ll do it, mom.”
She smiles and let me drink the medicine as she searches for the red small basin beside my bed. I silently watching her takes out a cloth and rinse it with the warm water in the basin. Slowly, she reached for my feet and wipes it with so much care.
“Remember what I said about your stinky feet?”
“I said, you inherited it from your father but he’s worse.”
I let out a snort. “I remember that.”
“You know why you always fail in your relationship?”
I shrugs and upon noticed that my mother couldn’t see it, I said, “Why,mom?”
“Because I told all your girlfriends about that.”
“Mom!” I whine and pull my feet back as she chuckles and continue to wipes my hands.
“But there’s one girl that don’t seems to care about it.”
I stops struggles and looked at her. With instinct, my mother tilts up and smiles towards me.
“I thought she will be mute or laughs awkwardly like your other girlfriends that you introduced to me, but she’s different. She takes it coolly, like it was nothing. Even so, she told me that it don’t matter much for her. You know what she told me next?”
“She will loves you until your feet isn’t stinky anymore which I’m sure will takes forever. Right then, I understood how you could possibly falls for her. She’s different than others. One of the gem stars you can only find once in your life. Like how I found your father. If I ignore what I feel for him, you won’t be here now. Then you won’t have the chance to see what in this life, what it can gives and offers. You won’t met her.
I’m blind, and I can’t see too. But my heart is visible for all the feeling exist. I know how to love, how to be happy and how to be sad."
I stare out the place as my mother holds my face close to her.
“You don’t have to act tough when you’re not. That really makes me sad. You need her in your life, Wooyoung. Even though she can’t see, but she knows well enough how much she loves you. But you, you can see. How can’t you ignore that you love her, much more than your own life? You need her more than anything. Why you neglect that?”
“Mom, you don’t know anything. I don’t love her.”
“If you don’t love her, then what is this for?”
She wipes my right cheeks softly with her thumbs and that’s only when I notices my tears.
“Wooyoung, the desire to see you happy are more than anything I want in my life. There’s still time for you to fix this. Go back to her, Wooyoung. This isn’t right for both of you. Go back when there’s still time.”
“Miss Lee, it’s time to go. Are you ready yet?” Suzy knocks the toilet door several times. A clicking sound coming from the inside and slowly the door flung open.
“I don’t want to go.” she insisted while walking back to her bed.
“But Miss Lee, your father already made the appointment. We have to go now, the doctor said there’s chance you will get treated and see again.”
“No. What’s the point of me to get treated if the one who I want to see the most doesn’t want to look at me again?”
Suzy sighs worriedly and about to persuade her again but someone suddenly stops her. She looked up and her eyes widen.
He gestured Suzy to let him talk to her and leave them alone for awhile. Gladly, Suzy obeyed.
She nodded and bows politely before walks out the room and shut the door close. “He finally came for her.” she smiles at the back of the door.
I stares at the petite body that bawling like baby in front of me. She frowns while facing against me. While looking at her back, I said nothing and only hear at her sound of breathing.
Suddenly she moves around and blinks with a curious face.
She knows I’m here.
So carefully, she calls out my name. I make her wait for a moment before I responded.
“I’m here, Jieun.”
Her eyes widen in shocked and tears start to pour. I quickly went closer and help to wipes the tears to stain her pretty face.
As time ticking, there is not much left thing to do for her. I wish this is the last time I makes her cry like this. It’s hurt too much to see her suffer and it’s all because of me. Mom is right, I really do (still and always) love her.
“Oppa, where are you going all this while? Why did you left me? I thought you won’t come back anymore. Why did you do this to me, oppa?” she sobbing hard while hitting my chest. I held her hand and kissed it longingly.
“I’m sorry, Jieun. You can put the blame on me. I’m really an idiot for leaving you.”
She bent her head down, and keeps crying.
“I’m so sorry, Jieun. Please forgive me. Hit me all you want, it’s all my fault.”
“Why? Why did you leave me?”
To see the pain in her eyes makes my heart ripped and crippled. Though, she still hold my hands tightly, maybe afraid that I might walk away again. Her tear drops one by one onto my hand.
“Jieun, for the rest of my life I never thought I would cares for someone this much. I leave you so you can lead a better life, and meet a better man. I’m not good enough for you. I can’t afford you anything, I can’t give you what you want-
“But it’s you that I want, oppa.”
She cut me off and I smiles in tears upon hearing that.
“I want you too. That’s what I realize now. I love you, Jieun.”
She whispers back the answers in my embraces.
Two of us were strolling at the hospital’s garden while I was pushing her wheelchair and she gestured me to stop. I bent my head lower to her.
“What is it Jieun?”
“Oppa, I’m scared.”
The doctor said before that the surgery for her kidney have the bright chance to succeed but not the same things goes for her eyes. It’s only 40% of chances for her to see again. It breaks my heart because I know well her wish to see the world. She said the most things she wants to see is her family, my mom and me.
I walks upfront her and took her hand into mine.
“This thing seems surreal for me. I’m scared if I put too much hopes, I will be disappointed.”
I cupped her face and slowly caressed her creased forehead.
“Jieun, God put you in this situation for reasons. Imagine if you can see, I’m sure you won’t be who you are now. You inspire people with your graceful melody. You inspire me to loves you more, day by day. And if God decide that is not the time for you to see, I’m sure there’s still reason behind it. You can make through with whatever the result is, I believe you can.”
She smiles in flustered and nods slowly to what I said.
“Jieun, you know what is the most thing I want you to see when your eyes got treated?”
“What is that?”
I caress her hand softly as I said, “It’s you.” I kissed her forehead. “You’re so beautiful, the most beautiful women I ever met. Despite your incapability to see, you didn’t make that excuse for you not to do anything. You are responsible and know what you want. You make the people who can see envy your talent. The strength you show, makes me wonder how you can still smile when people ignores you and saying bad words to you. I want you to see all that once your eyes treated. See how beautiful you are to me. How precious you are to your family. Continue to makes us proud and prove to me that you can live beautifully as you are now.. even if I’m not there.”
She smiles in tears as I leave the last sentence unspoken.
Two days before her eyes operation, Jieun and Wooyoung is having their dinner at his house. She missed his mom’s cooking. They always do this when she wasn’t busy with her tours as now she is now known as nation’s pianist. Everyone adores her genius talent. Wooyoung is her back bone, the one who helped a lot towards her dream on music.
Thankfully, her kidney’s operation is a success and he is the most happy with it. At least, if her girl can’t see, she is now healthy and can live like the normal people. He believes she will have a bright future after this.
“Here is the fruit.” Wooyoung put the plates on the table. Jieun and her mom took the fork from his hand and started to eat the desert he makes.
“Emm! The watermelon is sweet. I like it!” Jieun grins brightly. Wooyoung smiles and took a seat beside her. As she knows, she looks towards him and smiles back.
“My Jieun is sweeter than this.”
“Aigoo Wooyoung. You are so cheesy.” her mom laughs.
Jieun blushed in red and shoves him with fruits. “Can you stop doing that in public? You’re so weird lately.”
“What’s so weird with that? Is it wrong for me to show some love to my own girlfriend?”
Wooyoung said, a bit taken aback with what she said. With one hand, Jieun pull her shirt and kissed him right on his lips. He wide his eyes in surprised as she whispered to him after the kiss.
“Now you understand how I felt every time you did that?”
“You feel ridiculously good?”
“Oppa!” she slapped his arm.
Wooyoung stifled his laugh, not to make her more irritated. His mom shakes her head at the two love birds. She makes an excuse to go to the kitchen to prepare some foods for Jieun take back to her home.
Their sound of laughter at the living room makes her smiles in ease. But for some reasons, her heart is crippled every second.
“Please let this happiness forever with us, God.” she shed her tears silently.
“Jak! This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. As we all know Miss Lee Jieun-sshi, our nation’s pianist has surpass the intense operation for her eyes and today she will finally sees the world. That’s what we hope for her. She has been our strength with her music and melody everyday even with a blind eyes, now if she could see, I wonder what’s magical she will trance us. Let’s all nation pray for our little precious girl and cheer for her forever. Lee Jieun-sshi, you can do it!”
The announcer excitedly makes the opening and Jieun feel more nervous as times ticking by. She bows politely and held her parent’s hand tight.
“Auntie, how’s it going?” Suzy and Kyuhyun came to Wooyoung’s mom in frantic.
“I don’t know, Suzy. It’s been awhile the doctor in there.” Wooyoung’s mom sobbed on her shoulder.
“How did this happen?” Kyuhyun asked.
“He said his head aches so much last night, he doesn’t even get to sleep. I wanted to call the doctor but he refused it. He said maybe because he’s just worry about Jieun today. But this morning, he suddenly collapsed. I don’t know what to do.”
Kyuhyun and Suzy sighs worriedly while looking at the emergency room. “Let’s just pray he will make it this time. Jieun is waiting for him.”
The doctor walks to Jieun who is crowded by her close relatives and families.
“Umma, where is Wooyoung oppa?”
Taken aback, her mom signaled her dad to answer her.
“You will see him later, Jieun. Don’t worry, okay?” her dad pats her back hand as to makes sure of it.
Jieun frowns and nods to her parent. The doctor proceeds with his job and began to unfold his eye bandage slowly.
Her heart thumps irregularly. Things seems doesn’t right for her. She felt something missing, something just being taken from her. It’s a strange feeling. And she sure it’s nothing about her eyes.
But then, what?
“Doctor, how’s Wooyoung?”
The doctor looked at Suzy and Kyuhyun with apologetic eyes. Suzy burst into tears as Kyuhyun tried to hold her from falling.
“Doctor, tell me how’s my son?!”
“Mrs Jang, I’m sorry...”
Jieun looks around. Her eye is finally cures and after the greeting from her families and relatives, the first question she asked is about him.
“Where is Wooyoung? Who is one of you is Wooyoung? Can someone tell me?”
Everyone glance at each other with uneasy face. Her parent avoided to look at her eyes.
“Umma, what’s going on? Why Wooyoung oppa isn’t here?”
“Jieun-ah..” her mom break in tears. She blinked in surprised, wondering why everyone is acting weird.
“Jieun, my baby. You have to be strong. Whatever happen, please keep strong.” her father said while holding her shoulder.
She bewildered. “Why? What happen? Please tell me, don’t make me like this, appa.”
A first tears from her cure eyes make a way to her cheek. She already sense something bad has happened and she scared to admit it.
“Wooyoung is no longer with us, Jieun.” Her father slowly said. He is also crying.
Lee Jieun tried to stand still. Slowly, she opens the white cover and revealed a young man, the man that she always loves. Her tears tries to escape again but she hold it back.
“This is Wooyoung oppa?”
Suzy nodded slowly.
Jieun closes her eyes and touched his face. From his forehead, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose and his lips.
“This is really Wooyoung oppa.” Jieun finally said and she could hold it anymore. The tears fall endlessly as she sobbing in front of the dead body of him.
I know this won’t be easy for you
and the route is still far to get through
But promise me you won’t astray from what you want to do
I’ll keep watching you.. from the moon.
I love you, Lee Jieun.
From: Jang Wooyoung
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