The Inner Thought of The Guy

AJ's Point of View

I can’t seem to concentrate on my work. How I wish I could end this photoshoot here and go back to the dorm as soon as possible. There were a lot to talk about, after not meeting her for 7 years.

“Argh, stop it Jaeseop. It’s not that you have ever talked to her in school back then,” a voice popped in my head, throbbing all my thoughts.

“Lift your head, turn to your left and look at the camera,” the photographer gave me instructions. I did as I was told and tried my best to give my best shot. I wanted to end this quick.

She was still beautiful as before but more mature now, compared to back then. Aimee was now a lady, not the little kid who tied her hair into a cute ponytail, like how she used to be. I thought the feeling I had for her was just a normal puppy love between a girl and boy who was growing but I was totally wrong. I used to like her and I liked her more after listening to her conversations with Eli. I think I felt in love with her again, this time; it was a love at the second sight.

Hell yeah, I believed in ‘love at the first sight’ because of her. I saw her that day, stretching at the gymnasium. She was really flexible. I was impressed by the way she stretched like this and that. She looked so beautiful, so pure.

“Jaeseop, what is wrong with you today? Are you okay?” the manager hyung-nim came to me when we finally took a break from the photoshoot.

“Nae hyung. I’m fine. Why did you ask?” I asked him back, opening the mineral water bottle that I was holding and took a sip of it.

“You look so lost, like you were trapped in your own world. Do you still have fever?” he asked, concern about my health.

“I… I guess so. Don’t worry, I’m getting better.” I said, looking at him and nodded my head. I can’t reveal the true reason why I was acting this way. My manager can’t know about Aimee and my past.

“Then, lets get this over with. Then we will go back to the dorm so that you can rest,” he said finally, tapping my shoulder softly. I didn’t answer him, just nodded my head.

I was so eager to go back to the dorm but at the same time, I was kind of nervous. Would the situation between me and Aimee be awkward, or what? I can’t even think or make up any scenarios that would happen, in my head.

“Lets continue!” I heard the photographer said. I stood up from the chair and walked into the set. U-Kiss’ stylist noona came to me and she fixed my hair and clothes, before the photoshoot finally starts.

*  *  *

“We’re here. Wake up,” the manager hyung-nim waked me up. I groaned as my deep beautiful sleep was interrupted. It has been a few days since I last had my proper sleep. That was all thanks to my fever.

And actually, I didn’t sleep in the car when we were at the airport. I was pretending to be asleep as I knew that it was going to be awkward between Aimee and I. It was fun, eavesdropping to Eli and his cousin’s conversation. They looked so close, so comfortable around each other. Arrghh, how I wish I could take over Eli’s place.

“Hyung-nim, let me sleep here for a while. Pass me the car key and I’ll go upstairs in a few minutes time,” I said, still unable to open my eyes at all. My eyelids were too heavy that I didn’t even try to open it.

“Jaeseop-ah, we’re here already. Lets just go upstairs and you could sleep all you want. Your next schedule will be on tomorrow morning.”

“Aaaahhh hyunggggg,” I pledged. I seriously don’t have any strength to walk in this condition. My fever was back and I felt so weak. My body started to shiver so I wrapped my arm around myself to make me feel warmer.

“Come on Jaeseop. You’re going to eat your medicine upstairs,” the manager started to shake my body gently, to wake me up.

I forced my eyes open and tried to walk although I had no strength at all in my legs. I skipped breakfast, because of the schedule that we had in the morning and skipped lunch too, as Eli and I went straight away to the airport after that. After that, I went to Seoul, for the photoshoot. The last meal I had was a cup of ramyun, which I had for dinner last night.

 I reached the dorm without noticing it and pressed the bell. A few moments later, the door opened and I saw Hoon, smiling at me, welcoming me back. I gave him a smile before I couldn’t felt the ground.

Hoon was so shocked seeing me fell down like that and I could hear his voice, terrifically calling other members for help.

“Soohyun hyung!” he shouted. The manager hyung-nim who just got there was shocked to see me in that condition.

A few voices were mixed in my head. I can no longer tell who is who. My head felt like it was spinning around and everything went blank, just like that.