It is another overtime session tonight. Although Jason urged you to not overwork yourself and go home to rest, you find yourself trying to catch up the work you’ve missed for the past weeks. You hear the sound of a mug being placed on your desk, looking up you see Jason putting down a warm cup of hot chocolate with perfectly whipped cream on the top.

               “Just how you like it.” He smiles.

               “Just how I like it.” You echo after him, taking a sip and muttering a thanks. “You know, I’m not sure if I’m thinking too much or are you trying to imply that I’m not doing a good enough of a job as a secretary? Because I’m not really sure that my boss should be the one giving me a drink during overtime.” You laugh as he chuckles with you.

               “Somebody’s looking better.”

               “Of course. Wouldn’t have done it without you.”

               Jason suddenly leans away from your desk as his mouth parts open. “Ah, I almost forgot.” You watch him go into his office and come out with a small metal box in his hands. “I meant to give you this before, but I always forget to bring it with me.” Jason lets out an embarrassed laugh, “It’s Lay’s,” He hands the box to you, “he left it at the hospital.”

               You find your hands trembling as you reach out to grab the box. The metal felt cold against your fingers but the thought that this box belongs to Yixing warms the touch. “Th-thank you.” Jason returns with a small nod and walks back into his office, giving you some space.

               You gently undo the silk ribbon and remove the lid from the box. Inside, you find an uncountable amount of envelopes that has been stamped and written with a familiar address. Looking closely, you realize that it is the location of you and Yixing’s apartment in Changsha. Tugging on the neatly glued flap, you unfold the letter, creating crinkling sounds that filled the silent office.

               Dear ________,

               Today is the first day that I realize how much I love you.

               I finally understand why you chose to leave me. It hurts to know that I can no longer call you mine, or accept the fact that I might’ve lost you forever. But, I’m determined to come back as a more responsible, mature, and loving Zhang Yi Xing to my dearest girlfriend, if you will still be willing to allow me to call you that.

               After I read your letter, I was so lost and confused for a whole week. I made mistakes, countless and too embarrassed to admit, but I remember that you told me to always be honest with you, so I will... I occupied my life with many complicated relationships with other women, using their feelings for me to numb the pain. I neglected my responsibilities and became a burden to the members. I probably would be still continuing that messed up lifestyle if it weren’t for Kris. I really owe it to him. Maybe this is why you’ve always told me that you want an older brother like Kris, he really knows how to take care of people. Well aren’t I embarrassed that I used to get jealous because of that…

               Ah…I suddenly really want to eat your marinated eggs…

               You’re probably laughing at how stupid I sound at the moment right? But to be honest, I really am hungry. You don’t know how much I want to eat a feast cooked by you and Ma. The both of you know just how much I can handle the spiciness, even though Korean food is delicious, I really miss your 干锅带皮牛肉

               Anyways, practice to restarting soon, I have to go.

               As long as my heart is still beating, I will always love you…

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Yi Xing

               You feel your tears dropping against the paper, feeling the minuscule drumming at your fingertips. You quickly look for the date. This letter was written over 5 months ago. How could you have not seen it? You made sure that any letter that was sent to you gets transferred to your new place in New York. There was no way that you would have not received it unless…

               Scanning through the other letters, all of them were written to you and stamped, but not mailed.

               You had to find an answer, and it might be in one of these letters he wrote. Randomly choosing a light yellow envelope that is closer, you take it and start reading without any hesistation.

               Dear ________,

               Today is the 68^th day that I realize how much I love you.

               EXO-M got into a car accident today. Don’t worry, it’s nothing big. It was rainy so the car slipped and collided with the bridge ramps. We were sent to the hospital to fix up some minor injuries. Although they weren’t serious, I felt especially tired today. Maybe because it’s raining?

               Do you remember we had our first fight on that rainy day? I told you how much disliked training and wanted to quit. I was really expecting for you to comfort me with soothing and sugar coated words, but you didn’t. You screamed at me saying, “If you quit now, you will lose everything you attempted to achieve in the past year! If you quit now, you will never be able to fulfill your dreams! If you quit now, you will never obtain the feeling of success!” I still remember those tears of anger and worry streaming down your cheeks, and I felt so stupid for making you cry with my childish incapability to handle the trainee life.

               You didn’t talk to me for the whole night.

               Then I realized I’d fallen in love with one of the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met. And the woman that cares about me the most. Everything you said…was for me to continue chasing after my dreams. Just like what you did 76 days ago. And yes, don’t bother checking the calendar because I really did count.

               I’m so glad that you were by my side through my 4 years of trainee, I really wouldn’t have survived without your existence and support.

               So please remember that,

               As long as my heart is still beating, I will always love you…

                                                                                                                                       Yi Xing

               50…60…70… Letters written for you every single day. You heart swells up from the rush of sudden emotions of warmth and love. You really would want to spend the rest of the night reading through each letter, reminiscing through the memories and feeling Yixing’s love for you.

               But you can’t. Something felt wrong. If Yixing did still love you as his letters make it to be, then why hasn’t he called you after your discharge? Millions of questions flood into your mind, falling deep into confusion.

               You have to read the last letter to find out.

a/n: omg if only i had a boyfriend like yixing <3

someone to write me a letter everyday of how much he loves me

/sobs.