.Make a wish.

Kai/LuHan

Summary:  “Say one and keep one inside your heart.”

-----

“Make a wish.”

“Do I need to say it loud?”

“Say one and keep one inside your heart.”

----

He’s about to blow the candles on the birthday cake that YinYueTai has provided him when he hears the MC tell him to make a wish.

So he makes one.

LuHan takes a deep breath. He feels the MC waiting expectantly, and LuHan wonders for a split second about what and then thinks oh.

He asks, “Do I need to say it out loud?”

He doesn’t want to; wishes are supposed to be kept to yourselfso that they’ll come true; he doesn’t know where this came from but it’s here, at the back of his mind, and he doesn’t want to take any chances.

He’s told to

“Say one and keep one inside your heart.”

He feels the weight of the other member’s expectant stare on him, and in the spur of the moment he says, “Hope We EXO will be together forever and everyone is happy.”

That wish was safe, attainable even without him wishing on it, because even when EXO is not EXO anymore and fans have forgotten them, they have gone through so much sweat and tears and blood together its inevitable they’re going be each other’s EXO members anyway, and LuHan thinks it’s enough to keep him happy.

Maybe.

He makes another wish silently instead, because it is one wish he wants desperately enough to come true; he’ll lie at night thinking about it over and over until it would resemble pieces of paper crumbling from too much use.

It would resemble pieces of paper, maybe, if he trusted himself to bring it to life through the of pen and black ink that tattoos the clean sheets of paper of his journal.

But he doesn’t want to see his failings immortalized, because that meant he once felt like he had a chance and only fate had taken it away.

So he keeps it in his heart instead.

Where it’s safe.

Secret.

----

“SeHun-ah, please take care of your health. That is all.”

__

Later:

“LuHan hyung.”

“Hi, SeHun-ah.”

“Thanks for the greeting. We saw your YinYueTai interview.”

“No problem.”

“..but you do know I am perfectly alright.”

“…”

“We talk every night hyung. You know how I’m feeling.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t say to say that on air, SeHun. You do need to take care of yourself; stop getting injured.. you practice too much, and get enough sleep, honestly, you’re getting bruises under those ey--”

‘…Hyung.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“Tell who?”

‘You can’t play that game with me hyung. I am your best friend. I know you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway-“

“He might like you, you know.”

There’s silence on the other end, before—

“I can’t risk losing his friendship, SeHun-ah. If that’s the only thing I can have.”

SeHun sighs.

 “Goodnight, hyung.”

“…Good night.”

--

Promotions have ended and they go back to Korea for a bit of rest and relaxation before succumbing back to the throes of work.

Chen and XiuMin look considerably brighter, and LuHan smiles fondly when he remembers that they’re not from China, even though they look the part; they chatter excitedly in words both Korean and Chinese until they run out of Chinese words and speak in Korean instead.

LuHan lets the strange curls of the i’s and the a’s lull him to sleep.

---

LuHan dreams of moonlight and water.

---

When he wakes up, he sees My Lady on repeat.

He ignores it and stuffs his iPod in his bag, clambering out of his seat as they finally land in Incheon, Korea.

Far away, he sees a van that resembles EXO-K's. They hurry through customs and other checkpoints and when EXO-K is finally in sight, Chen and Tao run to them, hurtling into their waiting arms.

Curiously, it is Kai who dashes to LuHan, hair flying in the wind, a wide, moon eyed smile decorating his face.

"Hyung!" 

LuHan could feel his face break into a wide smile in response, and when Kai finally reaches him, LuHan is enveloped into a crushing hug.

"I missed you so ing much." Kai fiercely whispers.

LuHan hugs him back just as tightly.

---

Kai and LuHan walk the few meters where the rest of the group are waiting for them. Kai helps LuHan with his luggage so LuHan has free hands to grab on everyone else's, missing the shape of their fingers, the calluses of their palms. He’s almost dizzy because he hasn't realized how much he missed them, this group of people who have become pretty much his life.

Predictably, Kai gets teased about his excitement and how he cannot wait for LuHan to reach them, and Kai takes it all in stride, linking his free arm through LuHan and pouts his way out of being the center of the group's spotlight. LuHan grins through it all.

Tao has already shed  his share of tears, LuHan sees, because his eyes are red and puffy and he's using Kris as a shield so no one else can see his eyes. SeHun immediately attaches himself to LuHan's hip, bringing LuHan up to date with pretty much what happened behind the scenes, the things he missed or even the things SeHun forgot to tell him. SeHun continues to talk and LuHan lets him, responding with the appropriate sounds.

He's listening really, so he gets a bit startled when Kai settles on his other side, using LuHan's shoulder as a pillow and linking their fingers together.

"I'm a bit sleepy hyung. I'll rest for a while, okay? SeHun says you told him I should be sleeping more, so I'm trying to do what you asked." Kai says, his words growing fainter and fainter until he stops speaking and fades into sleep.

LuHan glares at SeHun, whose eyebrows rise immediately in question, as if he's confused about the turn of events.

LuHan is above thinking that SeHun is an innocent bystander in all this, though, because despite the pretty face, SeHun was a mastermind at these things.

He tries to send a message of we need to talk through his eyes but SeHun pointedly ignores it and jabbers away.

LuHan doesn't let go of Kai's hand.

----

The next morning, LuHan is jolted awake when he hears a noise similar to a gunshot echo in his room.

"Happy Birthday!"

Everyone screams, confetti scattering all over him, and LuHan briefly thinks I'm not going to clean this mess up before he's engulfed in a mass of bodies joining him on the bed.

They start to tickle him, and LuHan wheezes when hands start to run by his sides, the soles of his foot and even his neck. He gasps stop and I give!, breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

Baekhyun laughs and gives Chanyeol a high five. Kris starts signalling and they sing Happy birthday to him, in Korean, Chinese and even English. 

LuHan starts laughing, and one by one, everyone else joins him in laughter.

The bed creaks precariously. 

Everyone tries to scramble off but they end up wiggling on the bed further, and with a sharp crack, the bed's legs collapse under all their weight.

They stare at each other and laugh even more.

“Where is my cake?” LuHan demands, feeling like he's entitled to ask, since it's his birthday and all. 

"It's coming, Hyung." 

Kai comes in then, carrying a large cake, dripping in chocolate and covered with strawberries, and he's grinning shyly.

Suho drapes an arm over Kai's shoulder and says, "Kai made this, LuHan Hyung!"

LuHan is shocked into silence and the rest of EXO-K members try to outdo each other in telling LuHan that Kai bought the ingredients by himself,  he demanded that no else buy cake, he got burned when he tried to touch the oven, he practiced baking for days!

LuHan feels like he's filled with overwhelming warmth. 

He stands up, and carefully swipes his finger on the edge of the cake, smearing icing all over it. He brings it to his lips and les on it thoroughly, freeing it of icing.

Mmmmmmm.

He sees Kai gulp, his Adams apple bobbing up and down, and

LuHan just can't resist---

He kisses Kai on the cheek and says,

"It tastes great. Thank you so much, Jonginnie."

----

When SeHun begs LuHan to come with him and buy milk tea, LuHan wants to refuse.

It's payback time, he thinks, but he figures they need to have that long overdue talk about trying to set him up with Kai so agrees instead.

When they're leisurely walking down the street, covered enough to avoid detection by fans, SeHun beats LuHan in broaching the topic.

"What's really stopping you, Hyung? Everyone can see that you're special to him..."

LuHan sighs.

"It's not that easy, SeHun-ah. "

"That's bull, Hyung."

LuHan is startled at SeHun's choice of words.

"If you can reach your dream of becoming a star; if you could take that extra inch to grab that SM caster's card, why couldn't you go that extra mile to get something you obviously want?"

When LuHan stays silent, SeHun continues.

"Dreams don't come true just because you wish or you will it, hyung. They come true because you get off your damn feet and work on making it real and tangible."

---

LuHan doesn't tell SeHun that he's a coward.

He took that an extra inch to grab that card but he didn't take that extra mile to audition, thinking that he's never good enough.

---

LuHan knows Kai like he knows Seoul; he's seen the important things, those that make him Kai; he sees the wonders that give him instant recognition. But he doesn't know its winding paths; he's not familiar with all its roads, and like Seoul, Kai is someone who'll make a person feel lost, if you're not careful.

LuHan has always been very, very careful.

But it's inevitable.

He gets lost anyway.

---
He thinks they have a chance, Kai and him; they have always had this chemistry between them, sharp and strong and tangible, and every touch leaves a searing mark on LuHan's skin.

LuHan doesn't want to think he's reading the map wrong, and he doesn't want to see the pity in Kai's eyes when he does; it gives him this sick, lurching feeling, like everyone else has a destination and he has nowhere to go.

He thinks he doesn't take rejection all too well.

So LuHan stays silent instead, and so does Kai, and when their touches linger longer than what is appropriate, LuHan notices but doesn't mention it.

It's a stalemate.

----

Back in Korea, They keep practicing and training again, trying to make themselves better and better and better. There's no end to criticisms they'll receive, so they just try to lessen them instead.

It's no surprise then, for Kai to suddenly collapse during practice, curling up in a ball and in agony, and LuHan feels he cannot move fast enough to get to his side.

He could still hear the faint whimpers as Kai tries not to move too much.

Quickly he motions for someone to all for help, so Suho and D.O rush outside to call for an ambulance. Everyone else tries to make Kai comfortable, bringing him towels to wipe his perspiration off, water to soothe his parched throat, and generally busying themselves, because it's so hard to see one of them down and being so helpless and doing nothing increases their worry.

Kai accepts their ministrations until they become stifling. LuHan shoos them away and they settle to the far side of the room, wringing their hands in worry.

"Hyung..hurts." Kai gasps out, tightening his fingers on LuHan's wrist. It becomes painful so LuHan lets Kai grip his hand instead. He lets Kai's head settle on his lap instead of the hard floor, and he uses his other hand to brush the hair of Kai's eyes.

"It will be alright, Jonginnie."

I'm here for you.

---

All of them visit Kai in the hospital, and the nurse reprimands them for being too loud. She tells them to go by twos or threes, and by themselves they settle who goes with whom.

They settle into the groups and one by one they enter Kai's room, and when they get out they look more cheerful and relieved. SuHo tells him, he looks better, and LuHan feels some weight get off his chest.

Together, he and SeHun enter the room, and it unsettles him at first, to see Kai surrounded by so much white. Everything looks still and silent, and LuHan cannot reconcile himself to that; Kai is movement and life and passion, so the first thing he says is

Please get better.

Kai laughs and motions them forward, SeHun holding on to LuHan like a lost puppy. He belatedly remembers that SeHun has known Kai for so long and he had probably been worried sick for him too. So he nudges SeHun and says, go on, SeHun-ah, and SeHun does not hesitate. He crosses the room and quickly flicks Kai's forehead. Kai recoils with a muttered ow and he glares at SeHun balefully, who glares right back, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"What did you do that for?"

"That was for being an idiot."

They bicker at each other playfully, and LuHan smiles because despite the room's sterility, he can hear the sounds of their laughter, and they're not stars anymore, just two friends without a worry in the world.

"Hyung, are you alright?" Kai's voice breaks his reverie, so LuHan comes over. Once he's within reach, Kai pulls him so he can sit down on the edge of the bed, joining SeHun. He looks at LuHan intensely.

SeHun coughs and says, "I'll go get some food."

Kai nods in reply, eyes still fixed on LuHan's face.

LuHan waits for SeHun to leave before he asks self consciously,

"Is there something on my face?"

"...Nothing."


Kai's eyes roam his face, and LuHan his lips unconsciously. Immediately, Kai's eyes zero in on his lips.  LuHan could feel his lips start tingling.

"Then how come you're staring at me like that?"

Kai doesn't respond for a long while. He scoots closer.

"It’s been a long time since we've been alone like this, isn't it, LuHan Hyung?"

LuHan wants to tell him he's doing it purposely so he'll have no chance of doing things which could probably ruin their relationship. He wants to tell him that even when they're surrounded by so many people LuHan finds it hard to resist Kai's compelling magnetism so he tries to avoid Kai altogether. Sadly, it's not working so well.

This close to him, he could hear Kai's sharp intakes of breath, and LuHan's thinks it wouldn't be difficult to-

Just move---

A little closer----

And----

LuHan realizes they're nearer than they were when they first started talking. There’s only a small distance between them and He could see the flecks of color decorating Kai's irises. Kai moves minutely closer, his head tilting slightly to the right.

LuHan closes his eyes---

And waits-----

...and SeHun screeches "I'm back" loudly, as if trying to make sure he's not going to burn his eyes with the probable lewd things they're doing to each other.

They spring apart.

SeHun enters the room, and he's confused because LuHan is staring out of the window, and Kai is staring everywhere except in LuHan's general direction.

SeHun could see LuHan's neck still flushing slightly, and SeHun grins.

He says nothing about it though, and instead tells them he didn't find anything, and that they need to leave now, and visit Kai later, and he prattles on and on until the flush in LuHan's neck disappears. 

SeHun leaves first, saying that he needs to talk to D.O about something important and LuHan thinks liar, because he doesn't want to be alone with Kai right now, not when his blood is pumping hotly through his veins and every part of his skin is prickling in anticipation.

Before he leaves though, Kai arrests him with a stare.

"Spend time with me Hyung?"

LuHan cannot refuse, because he wants Kai's friendship almost as much as he wants Kai.

He wants to spend time with him before they leave for China again, damn the consequences.

So LuHan playfully messes up Kai's hair, but it does not get his desired effect; now Kai looks mussed up, clothing gaping open to reveal the dips and hollows of his collarbones and the smooth plane of his chest.

LuHan shivers.

"When you get better, Kai." he says softly, moving towards the door. 

Before he leaves though, he takes a look back. Kai is still staring at him, eyes boring straight into his soul. His gaze is electric, eyes blazing like live coals.

"That’s a promise?"

LuHan smiles. "It’s a promise."

---

Kai collects on his promise weeks later, after he's been released from the hospital and he's been given days of recuperation.

Everyone is watching TV when Kai suddenly saunters in and drapes himself over LuHan's lap. 

"I want that promise now Hyung." 

LuHan sputters because everyone wheels around to look at them interestedly. Kai doesn't wait for his answer and he pulls LuHan out of the dorm.

LuHan hears SeHun's screams of "Have fun at your date!" before the door is closed and they're alone.

He coughs awkwardly.

Kai brings him to an abandoned park near the outskirts of the city. It's silent here, the leaves fluttering with the wind; there's no laughter or chatter of families milling around.

They sit at the edge of a wishing pool. The park has long been forgotten it’s a miracle the water hasn't dried up, and with the pool undisturbed they see coins scattered about the bottom of the pool.

"I stay here sometimes." Kai says, staring at the scenery all around him. "When the city gets too loud, and the screams are too deafening, I come here to just... I don't know? Stop?"

LuHan doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he remains silent. Kai sighs.


"Sometimes I hate this place too, because when it's silent and I'm alone I remember what I want and it hurts, Hyung, because the truth slaps it in my face; that I could never have it; and I'd always be longing and longing for something I can’t have, because I've been too late, been so stupid, because I can't ing say how I feel. Because someone else is standing next to you, and it's the place I want to be."

LuHan presses a hesitant hand onto Kai's arm, heart hammering in his chest; he feels a tremor run through Kai's body so he presses closer until they touch from arm to leg, and when Kai finally faces him, eyes rimmed with red, he grabs Kai's jaw, and roughly pulls him in for a bruising kiss.

Kai automatically responds, like someone starved from touch; he turns his whole body fluidly to face LuHan, grabbing the back of his neck and angling his head to mesh their lips harder, rougher, like it's been too long, like he could imprint his lips into LuHan's and marking him forever with the taste of his mouth.

When they finally break apart, LuHan stares directly into Kai's eyes.

Kai kisses the knuckles of LuHan's fingers, and slowly presses LuHan's hand on the surface of the skin where his heart beats, strong and sure.

My heart is yours.
----

It's almost sunset, and they get ready to leave the park to go back to their dorms.

LuHan looks at the sky wistfully, watching it slowly, slowly changing its hues,  from yellow until it’s meshed with purples, reds and oranges.

Kai walks with to the wishing pool, staring at their depths. 

"Do you want to make a wish?" Kai asks.

LuHan looks at him, smiles, and curls their hands together.

"No, I don't need to."

My wish already came true.

------

What did you wish for?

I wished for you.

­­­­