Aclaire’s POV

“Aclaire, what am I to you?”

My hands trembled with his words. What should I do? Should I tell him to truth or hide it. I could feel his heart rate increase. His every beat pulsated from my fingertips to the rest of my body. I’m just hoping that he couldn’t feel mine.

I knew that I loved him, I really do. But what if he doesn’t feel the same way? I mean, the guys I’ve ever loved have broken my heart. What if Joon breaks it too?

As I thought deeper about it, I could feel my emotions taking over me, there was no chance of Joon and I ever getting together. He was an Idol and I was just an ordinary seventeen year old girl. At that thought, my eyes became watery and I had to lower my face to hide the tears that would start to erupt.

Joon suddenly picked up the bowl of porridge from my hands and placed it onto the bed-side-table. With one hand firmly placing my hand over his heart and the other over to the back of my head, he pulled me closer to him.

“I know that was a sudden question. You don’t have to answer me yet but can we stay like this for a while?” he asked as I had already melted into his embrace.

I couldn’t hold back anymore, at first it was just hiccups but then it got louder and finally, I began to bawl my eyes out.

Joon’s POV

She was crying. She was crying! Her arms wrapped around me and I could feel her tears soaking into my right shoulder. I was dazed. Why was she crying?

When she separated herself from me, she began cleaning her face with her hands. Automatically my hands grabbed both of hers and moved them away from her face. She looked away. I moved closer until there was hardly any distance between us.

“Did I say something?” I asked afraid that she would look up and say that she felt nothing for me.

She shook her head.

“Then, was it something I did?” I asked this time but was afraid she would disappear before me eyes.

Again, she shook her head.

My throat felt itchy and I started to cough. It wasn’t just one cough though, it was a chain of coughs that lasted too long and in the end I had to gasp for air. Aclaire immediately started to pat and my back.

“Hang in there,” she said but her voice wasn’t clear and was restricted.

I finally stopped and looked up. We both flinched as we noticed that we were staring into each others eyes. She broke apart and took rapid steps backwards. Unaware of the long blanket she had stepped on, she fell forward and I instinctively reached my arms out to catch her.

Thump

She had fallen hard onto my chest and we were both on the bed not knowing what was going to happen next.

She got off me and looked embarrassed. My hand was still holding onto her arm so I got up with her. We were both now standing face to face with each other.

“I’m sorry for crying…” she said but just when she finished, more tears formed and rolled down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Joon. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hide the fact that I like you anymore.” She cried.

Did I just hear her correctly? She likes me?

“I’m crying because I was scared that my heart would break again. I was scared that if I told you that I liked you, you would separate and disappear from me. I was being selfish, I wanted to be near you and yesterday, when we were on the bus, I even-” she paused to take a deep breath, “I even acted so selfishly and kissed you,” Her hand reached up to wipe the tears from her face and lowered her head in embarrassment.

“You must hate me. You must hate me being selfish like this,”

My body reacted by itself as I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her. “Don’t you ever say that I hate you. I don’t... And I want you to be selfish! I want you to want to be near me. Got that.”

I was surprised at what I was saying. Was this really how I felt, deep down I really wanted her attention all to me and no one else.

“And don’t you ever, ever assume that I don’t like you. I don’t know when it started but I-I…”

The three words I wanted to manly say, they were stuck at the back of my throat.

“It’s ok, I get it. You don’t have to force yourself to say something you don’t mean. I understand, It’s just a one sided love I guess.”

I wanted to interrupt her, tell her that I liked her too but she didn’t give me an opening.

“Thank you for letting me love you until now. I promise I’ll try to stop having these feelings for you so that it won’t be awkward.”

With that she raced out the room and my mouth was still open from trying to get a word out. I gave a silent scream and fell on my knees.

Why couldn’t I tell her? It was three words. Three words that would’ve told her everything about the way I felt towards her.

A rush of regret swept over me. When am I going to have another chance of telling her how I feel?

~~~

“Ok class! As you know your mid-terms are coming up so I want you to start studying now ok?” Mrs. Park announced when the bell rang.

The class nodded and hurriedly exited the room.

It’s been a week since that conversation between Aclaire and so far I still haven’t been able to tell her anything yet. Every time I try to bring up the conversation she’d change the subject. I guess she isn’t comfortable talking about it again.

A cold arm swung over my shoulder and dragged me along skipping with them.

“Jin! So exams are coming up. Any thoughts of what University you want to get into?” Himchan’s cheerful voice boomed.

University… “I never thought about it really.” I responded. I mean all I had to do was graduate high school and then I could return back being an idol. The thought of Uni never even crossed my mind.

“Serious? Wow… well Aquiss does have a reputation of graduates getting into Seoul University so I think I’m going there,”

“Well good luck with that.” I replied sarcastically and earned a hard shove.

As we walked to our next class I spotted Aclaire talking to Jonghyun. What was she doing with him…?

~~~~

Aclaire’s POV

“Sorry, I’ve got work today so I won’t be walking home with you,” I said to Hyosung as she groaned and pouted.

“I’ll walk with you,” Kikwang’s voice sounded behind us and I couldn’t help but notice a slight twitch of a smile forming on Hyosung’s face.

I gave her ‘the look’ and she responded with a gentle slap on my arm.

“Well see ya, have fun walking together,” I replied and headed to Juliette Café.

I hurriedly got into the café and was greeted with a set of clothes.

“This is our new uniform,” my workmate informed me.

“Oh, ok then.” I replied and quickly got changed into my newly handed garments. The uniform didn’t change much but there was now a black vest over the white blouse. It was pretty cute.

“Aclaire,” A voice called out for me.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” I replied as I buttoned up the last button on my blouse and raced out to serve tables.

Working really helped me keep my mind from wondering off, for example, thinking about Joon. Right now, I need to concentrate on my exams. But I’m not the only one; Joon has to work twice as hard if he wants to continue his dream. I mentally shook my head to clear my thoughts, I’m working. No thinking about boys.

“Excuse me, two glasses of water please,” a customer ordered and I rushed over to their aid.

~~~

“Good job everyone! The new uniforms seemed to have been a great success. We receive many compliments from the customers and I hope that you’ll keep up the good work.” The boss announced.

We all replied wholeheartedly with “Yes sir!” and began to clean up.

I puffed out a breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead. Hours of serving customers sure tired you out.

“Be careful when you get home,” Boss said and sent us on our way.

“We will,” we replied and one by one we went our separate paths.

I checked the time, it was 9pm. I was exhausted and I could really do with some sleep. What am I talking about? Exams are coming up in a few weeks, I should study.

I got home and jumped onto the couch, kicked my shoes off and rested there for a while. I lazily went to have a hot shower. For some reason, I do all my serious thinking and reflecting while I’m in the bathroom. It just happens.

“Joon, you better pass this exam,” I said to myself as I wondered if he was studying right now.

Joon’s POV

I slammed my head on the table. “I don’t get this at all!” I wailed.

I was trying to study but I just didn’t get it. Worse, I’ve been thinking about Aclaire ever since I saw her with Jonghyun. If I was going to tell her anything, it better be before Jonghyun makes a move. If… that was what he was trying to do. But he already has a girlfriend right? Don't tell me he's a player? No way! He wouldn't do that... would he? These thoughts just irritated me and I ended up giving up on studying. 

I was just about to go to sleep when I receive a text.

To: Joon
From: G.O

Hey! I heard your exams are coming up. Mblaq members are rooting for you! Hwaiting!

I gave a small laugh. “Thanks guys!” I texted back and turned my lights off.

**************

Thank you for your patience!!! I finally updated! Please leave some lovely comments and anticipate the next chapter!

xxx

I was suppose to bring this up in the previous chapters but I kept forgetting so I’m going to write it here. Well I created an Mblaq blog, so if you have tumblr, check out this blog: http://l-ai.tumblr.com/

Oh I had this song on repeat the whole time I was writing this chapter! It’s just so soothing.

Mblaq’s Last Luv: