Flashback when I was 6 years old

“Minki, you are a girl okay??” my mom said.

And I simply nodded, did not care much about anything of this.

My attention is all on the new toy that she's just got me.

“Good girl~” she smiled and patted my head.

Falshback when I was 10 years old

“mom, I’m a boy!!” I shouted and threw that brand new barbie doll that she bought for me.

I mean I want that new video game not a freaking barbie doll.

My mom let out a sigh like always when I'm throwing the fact that I'm a boy.

“listen, Minki, you can’t tell anyone that you’re boy”

“but-“

“No but, Minki!! This is A MUST!!” my mom raised her voice and I got scared of that.

Left with no choice, I just nodded my head. 

Flashback when I was 14 years old

“mom, tell me why I need to be girl?” I asked my mom, I'm really sick of being a girl while in fact that I’m not even one.

Well... maybe I do look like one but still... I got something down there to prove that I am a guy! 

my mom patted my head and replied

“your grandparent want a girl grandchild so we have no choice, but to make you a girl or else your dad will lose his job in the company”

I was speechless at the fact that mom never told me until now.

I was shock.

Upset.

Frustrated.

Anger.

Everything Combined!

I got up without a word and heading to my room, slamming my bedroom shut. I cried so much that night and did not talk to mom for almost a week.

Nowaday, I’m 16 years old

“I love you, Ren”

I look up and see some guy whom I don't even know.

Like seriously, do I look like a pretty girl to you? Can't you see that I'm a bit manly by nature?

I really want to shout at him that "I AM A BOY" but too bad I can't.

“but I don’t like you” I said and walked pass him. I feel sorry for him but I can't help it.

I can't risk being in a relationship with a boy when I'm not a girl in the first place.

Since I enter high school, there're many boys confessed to me.

It is frustrating!

I want to be loved as a boy, not as a girl. I’m so sick of this!! 

Out of nowhere, I felt my wrist is being grabbed. I turned to see around and saw the same guy. I mentally signed. 

Can you make this easier for me? 

“but I really love you, Ren, just go out with me, I know someday you will love me too” the boy said.

And my little voice goes like

There way I'm gonna like you back because I’m a BOY!!

Out of annoyance, I yelled at him

“NO!!! I DON’T LIKE YOU”

 And roughly pulled my hand back from him.

Actually, I don’t mean to shout at him like that but the feeling of sadness, anger and frustration hit me. I'm really sick and annoyed at this life.

Why can’t people just leave me alone? Stop making me feel bad by hurting you!

“I’m gonna wait for you, Ren” he added which was like a fuel add to fire that is buring inside me.

“NO, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!” I screamed and ran to limo as I caught sight of it earlier.

I told my driver to get home quickly.

All I want is to rest...

“I’m home” I shouted and threw my shoes off quickly before going upstairs, my bedroom!

I slept for like an hour or something before Ms. Jung woke me up for dinner. 

She is the care-taker of the house and has been here for so long now.

I smiled at her and told her that I will be there in a bit. 

Closed my eyes, I signed.

Another typical day.

After dinner and shower, I went directly to bed. When I just about to close my eyes, my phone rings.

I groaned before reaching for the phone.

People just don’t know how to leave me alone!!

 “Hello??” I said in annoying tone. 

“Hello, is this Ren??” the person on the other line asked, and it’s a boy.

Who the hell is he calling me and ask for confirmation...

“Yes, why?” I answered, tiringly. 

“I just want you to know what you did this evening..”

“What did I do?” I cut him off because he sounds like going to give me a handful story.

And I don’t want to listen to anything right now.

I just want to sleep. That’s it!

“You hurt my friend this evening, know that? He's been in love with you since middle school and you went on and rejected him like that, you rea-...

I hang up before he could finish, I know what he is trying to say.

It's not like I got this kind of call for the first time anyway.

Seriously, why can’t they leave me alone?!  I have rejected boys like a hundred.

It was wrong, I felt bad too but what can I do!

Damn!

Then my phone rang again, I ignored it but too bad he doesn’t give up, so I ended up blocking his number and went back to sleep.

Minhyun pov

“ Block me huh? You will pay for it, Ren, I will make you pay for it!!” I said and looked over to Baekho, who just cried himself to sleep.

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