A day with EXO : Chanyeol

The Story of EXO
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"What is this place?" You asked while staring up at the colorful building, "Lotte World, Jina." Baekhyun appeared next to you. "Oh my!" You jumped and tripped on your untied shoelace, "Woah!" You yelped and was about to crash the floor, but a hand reached out and grabbed you by the waist. 
Baekhyun pulled you close to him and you opened up your eyes, you looked up and blushed madly. *God... why am I always stuck in these can of weird scenes?* You quickly got up and bowed at him, "Sorry. I was being clumsy again." You shyly said. Baekhyun find it cute and just nod. "Its okay." was all he said.
Kris and Chanyeol came racing back with the 13 tickets in their hand, Suho just shook his head at them. "Seriously, you two should really learn how to grow up, and you, Kris." Suho eyed him carefully, Kris just shrugged. "We're just having FUN! And you should too, you're not getting any younger you know?" Kris casually said, that made the rest of them cracked up.
You'd just giggled, Suho stare at you in disbelief. You bit your bottom trying to not burst into a fit of giggles and just bowed at him, "Mianhae..." Suho just pouted and snatched the tickets from him, "Let's go." He angrily said and stormed inside the entrance.
You'd stop giggling at last and just stare at him, *We were just joking.* You went after him and appeared right next to his side, "You okay, Suho oppa?" You asked. 
"No..." He pretended to be sad and all, "Awww.... we were just joking. No need to be sad." You comfortingly patted his back, "Even if Kris said that you'll become old. You'll always looked young to me, even though I barely know you." You happily beamed. Suho couldn't believe on what he had just heard from you, your sentence was so sweet and innocent that he had to chuckle at you, but his heart was filled with warmth and love.
"Hey! You chuckle! That's a good sign." You beamed and was suddenly grabbed the arm, "Woah." You called out and stare at the person that was dragging you to a place, *Chanyeol oppa?* You thought.
"O-Oppa! Where are we going??" You asked loudly. Chanyeol stopped in front of the rollercoaster ride and beamed brightly at it, you looked up and gasped. "W-What is that??!" You were trembling, "A adventurous ride!" Chanyeol said and he dragged you in. "Come on!" 
"WHAT?!" You were scared to death as you heard those terrifying screams, "YAH! CHANYEOL!" You heard the others yelled at him as he entered the ride, you helplessly stare at the rest of them. *Help...*
"Last two seats." The worker called out, "Here!" Chanyeol called out and plopped onto the seat while flipping his hair, some girls waiting in the line screamed out loud.
"Oh my god! He looks like an idol!" "Is he popular?!" "So handsoomeee~" Some murmured.
Chanyeol blinked at you, "Come on." He urged. You shyly bit your lip and sat next to him, "But, my dress." You said. 
"Oh, right." Chanyeol got up and took off his jacket, girls squealed out loud. "EEEEKKK!!" You covered your ears from the loudness.
You looked up and was puzzled, *What is he doing?* You thought. "Get up." Chanyeol said. "What?" 
Chanyeol just sighed but smile while yanking you up, girls gasped out loud and your eyes widened, Chanyeol carefully tied his jacket around your waist and made sure its secure tightly. "There." he said and and sat back down.
"Are you guys done?" The worker said, tired of seeing you two stopping the ride. "Yes sir! Sit, Jina." Chanyeol said. "Okay." You sat back down and held onto his jacket tightly, it has his scent all over it and you liked it a lot. Heart beating fast you held onto the lever real tightly.
"Buckle up." The worker said. Chanyeol buckled up and all you did was sat there, trying to know what the tool was for. *Buckle what up?* You were puzzled.
Chanyeol notice you being confused and puzzled, *Silly, Ka In.* He thought and helped you buckle up properly. You gasped and Chanyeol smile. "There you go." He smile and lightly patted your head.
You blushed madly from his touch and just looked away, "Okay, ready? 1... 2... 3... GO!" He pushed a button and the ride went forward.
"Eek!" You clung onto Chanyeol real quick from the first move, Chanyeol just smile at you. *Aigoo. Seriously a first timer.* He'd smile and turned back to the front as the coaster went to the top. "Hold on tight." Chanyeol said while the coaster stopped at the top.
"What?" You asked. *Here goes.* Chanyeol thought and the coaster went dashing down.
You screamed your mights out and the rest of the Princes of EXO heard your screams from below. "Hold on, Jina! Damn, that Chanyeol." Tao shouted out loud. 
You clung onto Chanyeol tightly and he savored the moment, *The reason why I love rollercoasters.* He smirked and held onto you too.
After the loopy loops and zig zag rides, the coaster came back to a stop. You were still clunging onto Chanyeol as the coaster had came back to its start.
"Jina." Chanyeol shook you, you still didn't move. "Jina." Chanyeol tried to pulled you off him, "Please, oppa." You begged, almost crying. "Just let me rest on you, I'm scared." You admitted.
Chanyeol stopped and softenend. *Guess I went too far. Sorry.* He gently leaned down to you and planted a kiss on your forehead, your eyes widened at that movment. You looked up at him. "Oppa?"
"You okay now?" He asked. You nod carefully. "Good." He started to get up and off the ride, "You coming?" He asked.
"Yes," You said, Chanyeol was about to go until you continued, ".... but," He stopped and turn back, "... I can't move a bit." You bluntly said it out.
Chanyeol had to chuckle at that and lifted you up bridal style immediately, your eyes widened and you stare at him. Chanyeol just smile at you, "You know, you have this thing of opening your eyes real big. I can too, you know? See." He opened up his eyes real big at you.
You stare at his cute, innocent face. *Such a sweet and adorable face, but a manly voice. You are one interesting man, Chanyeol.* You chuckle at his funny face.
Chanyeol beamed and carried you out the building, people gasped at the two of you.
"Aww, such a sweet couple." "Cute!" "Where's my camera?" 
You heard others comments and compliments but didn't care, your attention was on Chanyeol now. The caring man and fun man that you knew all along. 
p/s : New story up! Interested? XD A fantasy one!  BTW, do you guys want me to create a fanfic of EXO and their powers? :B Want one?! KEKEE! And do my readers wanna be in it?! I'll be happy to make it! ^^
3rd FANFIC : 12 Stars and 1 Meteor
EXO's Debut Showcase is out TOO! ^^
ROFL! everyone is eyeing Kris to do his part and Chanyeol was like, "Im out too!" 
Anyways, POLL TIME! ^^ (p/s you can't click like all those cool polls and see the result, reason is I don't know how D: sorry!)
So, we're using comments! Please comment yes or no to it! And if you know how to put the Poll format in here, please teach me D: 
Question : Do you guys want me (exotics12) to do a fanfiction of EXO and their new powers in the MAMA teaser?
A) Yes
B) No
For those who don't know EXO's Powers
Suho : Water
Baekhyun : Light
Chanyeol : Flame
Kris : Flight
Kai : Teleportation
Lay : Healing
Xiumin : Frost
Tao : Time Control
Sehun : Wind
Chen : Lightning
Luhan : Telepatry (P.S. I don't really know his power o.o)
D.O. : Earth
Picture of it! 
Pic cr : EXO.intl
GIF cr : Music_Melody at her fanfic, To know MORE about EXO Planet ♛
STAY TUNED! and please comment on the poll! ^^
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misinam16 #1
Chapter 1: I don't know why but i laughed so hard when the guards started using their powerful DANCING to defeat their it world
AudreyChan2711 #2
Chapter 72: Omg!!! This is so good!! You should have a sequel where sayeong gets married!!
Deadlord #3
Chapter 72: I read this while listening to ed sheeran's one and it made a great background music hehehe oh yeah thanks for the story i really love it
jackyB #4
exo go fighting
Anubis1D #5
Chapter 4: Hello... just to let you know I am only editing 5 chapters per week so... just check back for my input weekly.

①The dance studio... Umm what? She won't turn on the lights in a dark room. Does she have night vision?
②umm... how do they not see her as she sneaks her way out especially with a duffel bag.
③with the queenka, 소림, I thought it was a weak conflict scene.
④5/10, Once you fix the tenses your story will flow better. DESCRIPTIONS You need to describe. Otherwise the story is a bit flat.
Anubis1D #6
Chapter 3: Couple minutes later.... you're probably tired of me right?
① Mixing up tenses again. I'll probably be expecting this throughout the story.
②Please describe the Secret Room and give it a better name than the Secret Room. Its there for transportation services.
③The way she appeared out of nowhere is kind of unlikely. Maybe she should have been transportd to her home.
④ Singing, dancing, and acting are not the only important things unless she's attending an Art school which you have not indicated.
⑤ How does Baekhyun even know that Ka In's class is with Kai. She hasn't even gone to the office to reciebe her schedule.
⑥ 5/10 there are a lot of inconsistenties that need to be addressed.
Anubis1D #7
Chapter 2: Hello, I'm back!!! So I like your story so far but there are somethings that could make your story better.
①Chapter Correction: A New Mission and the King's Gift.
② Crepilse? What does the name mean? I don't think that Ka In should have that name because everyone calls her Ka In and not Crepilse.
③Sorry but your grammar needs some work. Umm tenses are all mixed up. Some words again cannot be used the way you using them. the sentence where Ka In thought that King should not await her. A better verb for that sentence would be "wait for".
④I give this chapter a 4/10. Since it has been 3 years since you've written this story maybe you should reread it. And I am sure that your English has improved. You need to more descriptice about where her setting. I know she's on EXO planet but what does it look like.

Sorry, I made some typos because I'm typing on my phone.
Anubis1D #8
Chapter 1: Hope you don't mind that I am critiquing your story. Sorry if I am a bit of a Grammar Nazi.
1. Chapter Name: Correction - Evil Lady's Attack on EXO Kingdom.
It should be on not to, wrong preposition. And since you've already written the story do you think you may revise the chapter names?

2. I saw that once you slipped out of past tense. It's not very good to change tenses.
3. I think you should give names to the Queen K and the Evil Lady. Instead of identifying the 2 queens as Korean and Chinese, you should instead maybe give the Korean queen a Korean name and the Chinese queen a Chinese name. Also Evil Lady sounds laughable. I kinda don't take her seriously yet.
4. I think the Evil Lady (EL)'s daughter should introduce herself and the fight between her and Ka In should be more involved. Ka In may not have an ability but should be able to subdue the EL's daughter until she gets the upper hand and the queen has to rescue her.
4. You have to elaborate on what happened to Ka In when she was 5 and the queen reacued her.
5. Some words aren't made to be used the way you used them like "borned". You mean born and it can never be used as borned.

6. Overall I give the chapter a 6/10. Its good but it has the potential to be better.

SOURCES: English is my native language and I am taking a language and compostion class.
Anubis1D #9
I think your story has a lot of potiential? Just a question though: is English your first or second language?
im_pororo #10
Chapter 1: Action in the first chapter!? This is WOW!!! I can imagine the bodyguards dancing, singing and acting in the battlefield.