Chapter 6

silver | Interplanetary I

It was the loss of self control. The lack of restraint. The barrier finally gone. No more third bullet. No more need for Jessica to die. No more waiting for Jessica to die. No more triangle of chaos. Just a game of two deaths - Taeyeon and her own.

It was all for the sake of redemption and forgiveness.

Right?

Yuri rarely doubted herself.

But she doubted herself.

She wondered if it was the only way. 

She wondered if it was the only way. She wondered if the revolver was the only answer. She wondered about how everything ended up this way, broken and bent.

Then she wondered about something she avoided thinking about for a long time.

She wondered if she loved Jessica.
///

black | Interplanetary II

Attachment was unnecessary. Affection, a hindrance. These are laws. These were lessons learned during training. And in life. These were rules she believed in and followed ever since.

Except she couldn’t. 

Not when she worked with her two best friends whom she felt she did not deserve to even associate with. Not when a certain agent continued to into her life. Certainly not when there were moments of breakdown.

Breakdowns like these.

Taeyeon looked down at her half empty lass of scotch and watched the amber liquid and ice whirl around the cold glass, clinking against it as she rotated it in one hand. She ignored the soft caresses on her back by one of the usual flirts. She felt another presence and looked to her right, seeing the agent entering the bar and walk towards her, stopping only when she was standing next to the bodyguard. The two gazed at each other stoically, motionless and silent. Taeyeon couldn’t help but squint as she looked up at the other’s face which was backed by a bright, flashing strobe light. The agent casually slipped an American twenty into the flirt’s hand and motion for the unintended intruder to leave them alone. 

Shifting her weight slightly, the flashing lights seemed to se the American aglow. the light shined off her dark hair, showering her dark silhouette with what seemed to be a halo that lined her figure. Like the corona of an eclipse, the light that always lined the shadow over the sun. 

‘Like an angel.’

Slightly drunk, Taeyeon grinned and chuckled at the thought. She blinked up at the other, neither relenting to speak first. 

///

Taeyeon thought she was seeing things. She thought she saw him. She saw him when she dreamed those nightmares that made her afraid of ever falling asleep sober. She saw him when she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. She saw him during the times most people thought about what made them happy. She saw him when she was asleep, eyes closed, and not the slightest bit aware of herself.

But this was different.

She saw him.

A face within the crowd.

She saw him.

A familiar and frightening face amidst the sea of people in the train station.

She saw him.

She saw the face of Jang Joonin. (totally made up name before you go Google it)

The face that lived in her nightmares.

But this time, she was wide awake.

///
blue | Interplanetary III

It always went like this. A routine the couple had been rehearsing since their engagement. 
Jessica would be lounging on the couch, reading a book as Yuri sat next to her; resting her head on Jessica’s lap as she watched whatever happened to be on television. 

Today, it was a drama about a doctor falling in love with the patient. 

Jessica looked up from her reading and was drawn into the show as it featured her favorite actor. She lowered her book, gently placing it on the glass coffee table in front of her, moving slowly as to not disturb Yuri who was enamored with the show.

During the commercial break, Yuri sat up. She looked down at Jessica’s hands which were folded neatly on her lap. Yuri thought for a moment before reaching over hesitantly and took hold of one of Jessica’s hands. “What would you like for dinner?” She asked, remembering to squeeze the hand she was holding with gentle insistence. 

Sometimes Jessica didn’t feel like eating.

Looking up Jessica gazed into her fiancé’s dark eyes - her own filled with subtle surprise at the unusual gesture. “Anything is fine.”

The blonde watched as Yuri stood up, letting go of her hand as she slinked into the kitchen with her usual slow, graceful steps. Jessica was never terribly skilled at cooking. Not awful – but nowhere near as good as Yuri or Taeyeon – who was actually a wonderful cook – or even her sister, Krystal. 

Jessica gazed at the kitchen entrance as the sounds of cooking and cutting echoed through the spacious apartment. Realizing that she was remembering, Jessica shook her head as if to literally cast off the thought of her sister.

She had to move on.

‘I need to move on.’

///

Pasta. Angel Hair with pesto sauce peppered with basil.

It always amazed Jessica how anyone could make something so delicious out of almost nothing. The couple sat side by side on the black leather couch, absorbed by the meaningless drama that was currently being aired.

It was silent other than for the tinkling of forks against plates and the sound of the television. Yuri was the first to finish, putting her plate carefully down on the coffee table.

It took about another ten minutes before Jessica finished her own plate. As she leaned over to take the other plate, ready to go wash them, she felt a soft, but heavy weight on her left shoulder. She looked over to find that Yuri had fallen asleep, leaning against the red velvet pillow that was between them. Jessica smiled softly as she gently put down her plate and leaned back into the couch, allowing Yuri and pillow to rest against her left side as she wrapped her arm around the her fiancé. 

After a few moments of stillness, Jessica gently tugged the red pillow away, laying Yuri down on her lap in a more comfortable position. She looked down at the sleeping woman and gently brushed a few stray locks of hair away from the other’s face. The motion was familiar. 

It was what she used to do for Taeyeon.

The motion was familiar.

Yet foreign.

And Jessica also wondered.

She wondered if she loved Yuri.

///

black | Interplanetary IV


There was no forgiveness in her punches, kicks, and strikes. There was no sense of pity or sympathy from her as she broke their jaws, noses, arms, legs, and perhaps a rib or two. She was volatile and angry. She was no longer in control. No longer in control of anything.

Life.

Feelings.

Herself. 

She pinned one of the men down and began striking at his head, delivering punches until her fist began to bleed. She did not feel the pain through her drunken haze and did not stop until she felt a pair of arms wrap around her, weaving underneath her arms and clasping behind her head, effectively locking her arms and head. She couldn’t move - she was too exhausted and drunk. She could not move to twist out of the hold she could have easily avoided. She could not move to wipe the sweat off her brow. She could not move to wipe the blood off her hands. She could not move to brush the dirt off her pants. She could not move to dry the tears flowing down her face.

The Interpol agent kept her hold on the bodyguard and looked around at the destruction.

Taeyeon knew that as the agent looked around, she’d see the mess she had made. The agent would take in the sight of the unconscious Triad members with broken bones. She felt the other woman inhale as the other’s eyes finally rested on the man Taeyeon was kneeling over. She knew that Tiffany had finally realized what Taeyeon had done.

She had gone on a rampage. She had lost control and now these bodies were the evidence.

Taeyeon had never felt as hopeless as this moment. This one moment when Tiffany held her immobile and she couldn’t help but cry at how much she missed being able to feel.

How much she missed how the pain in her knuckles felt. How much she missed keeping herself locked away. 

How she felt as Tiffany shifted from her headlock grip to a gentle hug, firm arms wrapped around the shorter woman as the younger of the two allowed her to cry in her arms.

So that was what Taeyeon did. She cried. She cried into Tiffany’s warm arms as the few stars visible in the dark velvet sky twinkled harmlessly as if nothing ever happened.

///

silver | Interplanetary V

Yuri had woken up, surprised to find herself laying against Jessica’s lap. Rising, she turned to look at her fiancé with questioning eyes.

She was once again surprised to find a soft smile on the other’s face, eyes twinkling.

“Good evening. Did you sleep well?”

Yuri nodded slowly, still gazing at Jessica’s content face.

“Good, I know you’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately with all the traveling you’ve been doing. Why don’t you go shower and sleep while I clean up?” Jessica stood up and picked up the two empty plates on the coffee table, walking into the kitchen.

Yuri followed the suit, slowly getting up from the couch and treaded towards the other direction into the bedroom.

///

Yuri dried her hair with a towel as she listened to the sounds of the water flowing as Jessica showered. She stopped her movements as her eyes closed in on the case resting on her nightstand. It was the gun again. She reached a hand out and grazed her hand across the smooth, cool surface.

Was it worth it?

Before she could think any further, the sound of the bathroom door opening snapped Yuri out of her thoughts. She slipped the case into the bottom drawer of the nightstand before looking up.

For the first time in a long time, Yuri felt vulnerable. 

For the first time in a long time, Yuri felt like it wasn’t wrong.

Jessica stood shyly at the door of the bathroom, clutching at the white towel that was wrapped around her body, hair still dripping.

For the first time, Yuri realized just how beautiful her fiancé is.

///

pink | Interplanetary VI

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you keep doing this?" Tiffany asked, almost in tears due to her frustration. She thought that Taeyeon had gone home. She had watched the woman call for a car to pick her up.

Tiffany turned to see a black car at the curb. An old black Cadillac, driver still waiting patiently.

She turned back and watched as Taeyeon laughed dryly, wiping off tears as she picked up a knife off the floor. A knife one of the unconscious men had dropped.

The agent couldn't help but notice that the older woman held the blade in an almost religious fashion - as if it were sacred.
In a way, it was.

Part of a ritual.

"Would it be too cruel to ask Jessica to do this?" Taeyeon laughed lightly before turning to face the younger girl, flipping the knife lightly between her fingers.

The bodyguard looked up straight into her eyes, showing Tiffany bloodshot, teary eyes. It was then Tiffany realized what made the proverbial clock tick.

Dilated pupils.

The smell of alcohol on the older woman's breath.

She was high. Kim Taeyeon was high and had a knife in her hand, ready to spill her own blood.

///
blue | Interplanetary VII

Jessica wasn’t sure of what to make of her muddled thoughts.

She had stood under the shower for a while, nothing doing anything but letting the water run and shower her as she stood in silent contemplation.

Jessica wasn’t sure why she decided to step out of the shower and out the bathroom door with only her towel on, not even drying her hair.

But she had the faint impression that her staring at the cabinet that held Taeyeon’s spare toothbrush and then gazing over to see the two separate glass cups that held her and Yuri’s individual toothbrushes had something to do with it.

Jessica could only look shyly at her feet as Yuri finally looked up, putting the revolver case in the bottom drawer of the nightstand.

It wasn’t as if Jessica had never seen Yuri dressed in her night attire before – large shirt with short, same as what Jessica wore – but it seemed like something was different.

As if she was looking at her fiancé in a new light.

So she just let go.

She pushed her muddled thoughts aside and finally decided to take a step forward.

She felt herself slowly stepping towards their shared bed, watching as Yuri moved to stand up. They stood only a few inches away from each other, gazing into each others’ eyes, trying to see into the new depths they had both discovered.

So when Jessica felt Yuri move closer, she decided it was time to see past what was there before.

Jessica let her towel drop onto the floor.

///

pink | Interplanetary VIII

They struggled. Tiffany struggled to pin the shorter woman down while she fought with the other for the knife. The kicks hurt and punches bruise, but Tiffany kept trying. Seeing an opening, she snapped her right arm back and delivered a right hook right to the left corner of the bodyguard’s jaw. Hearing teeth clicking, Tiffany took a chance and grabbed the knife by the blade, ignoring the pain and pulled it away from Taeyeon’s hand.

Tiffany stepped a few paces back as she watched Taeyeon struggle to get up, the alcohol and drugs taking a toll on her physical abilities. Steeling herself, Tiffany made her way to the others’ side cautiously before grabbing the woman’s right arm in a vice like grip and pulling her up.

“Don’t you see?” Tiffany said hoarsely as she dropped the knife and pinned the bodyguard against the wall of the alley. “This isn’t the way to do it. This isn’t a way for you to die.”

The fight knocked out of her, Taeyeon could only shiver silently against the wall, arms tensed against the tight grip of Tiffany’s hands.

“Why can’t you understand that no one blames you? That you’re hurting everyone?” Tiffany raised her voice as tears began to roll down her face.

“Why do you care?” Tiffany barely heard Taeyeon’s almost inaudible whisper. “No one asked you to care Agent Hwang.”

Tiffany looked down at the crown of the bodyguard’s lowered head. She wasn’t sure how she felt. She felt sadness, worry, confusion but one feeling seemed to be rising faster than the others: anger. She suddenly tightened her grip on the older woman’s arms before immediately regretting her action as she heard a soft whimper from the other.

She relaxed her grip as she felt wetness from the others’ eyes drip onto her hands. And for the second time that night, Tiffany pulled the older woman into a tight hug.

“Because you need someone to care Kim Taeyeon, you all do.”

///

black | Interplanetary IX

Taeyeon had never felt so exposed and weak. She knew the agent was strong and capable, but she blamed herself for letting herself fall into the deceivingly warm arms of alcohol and intoxication. She had wept into the shoulder of the agent, staining the white cotton fabric of the others’ blouse.

Now she followed the other meekly as they entered Tiffany’s apartment for the second time. However, this time Taeyeon was awake and almost sober. 

Taeyeon was quiet as Tiffany directed her towards her bathroom where Taeyeon showered quickly, enjoying the momentary comfort of the warm water.

The bodyguard put on a bathrobe and stepped out of the bathroom. She was surprised to see that the agent had prepared bandages and disinfectant and was waiting for her to finish her shower. As experienced as she was, Taeyeon couldn’t help but grimace as the agent rubbed alcohol on a particularly nasty scrape on her knuckle before wrapping it with a gauze and bandage.

She stood still as the taller woman handed her a large shirt and a pair of shorts which she quietly accepted. They both changed silently, backs to each other at opposite ends of the bedroom. 

Taeyeon stood at the side of the bed and looked up at the agent’s face which held a small smile as the other gestured for her to lay down.

The two laid down on the bed quietly before Tiffany turned off the desk lamp, enveloping the two in darkness.

For the first time in a very long time, Taeyeon felt something familiar.

Something she had missed.

Something she hadn’t felt since Jessica.

Taeyeon felt safe.

Taeyeon fell asleep feeling warm.

///

Ring Ring

Taeyeon stirred as she heard the call of a phone. She felt the bed shift as the agent move.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other line was inaudible.

“Now? Where are you?” Tiffany’s voice sounded worried and strained.

“I’ll be there right now.”

Taeyeon felt a hand her hair before hearing a whisper, “work calls, sleep.”

Taeyeon’s mind faintly registered the sound of rustling clothing, jingling keys and the sound of a door closing before her mind drifted back to sleep.

///

Ring Ring

Tiffany’s phone again.

Ring Ring

Taeyeon woke up fully this time. ‘She must have forgotten her phone.’

Ring-Click

“Hello?”

“Kim Taeyeon?”

A pause. “Who is this?”

“Agent Hwang won’t be coming back. Not unless you come.”

Panic. “Where?”

“Where everything ended and began. The warehouse.”

“Who are you?!”

Taeyeon clutched the phone tightly as she heard a soft chuckle.

“Jang.”

She froze at the name.

“Jang Wooyoung.”

+++++++++