Chapter 5

pink | In the Confines of Silence

'Her small figure belies the muscle and strength inside of her.' Tiffany thought as she carried an unconscious Taeyeon up two flights of stairs and into her apartment. The smaller woman had cried on her knees until she collapsed, exhausted and soaked from the rain. Tiffany couldn't help but marvel at how fit Taeyeon was. Taut muscles rippled underneath her clothing her had surprised Tiffany when she first picked her off the ground. Propping the torpid girl carefully against the door as she walked into her dark bathroom to grab a few towels, Tiffany bit her lip in frustration - she just couldn't figure this girl out. Stepping out of the bathroom, she proceeded to gently move the girl onto the now towel covered bed, the agent laid Taeyeon down and sat there, on the edge of the bed, watching her unexpected but far from unwelcome guest.

Grabbing a spare towel, Tiffany dried the unconscious woman's face with utmost care - A face that the former couldn't help but stare at. The older woman's face seemed too innocent and childish to be a cold hearted bodyguard and murderer. Tiffany's eyes traced down the curves of Taeyeon's face, followed along the bridge of the other's nose, and rested on a pair of closed eyes. Tiffany felt - no - knew that there was something in Kim Taeyeon's face that told a story, a story of a painful past. The agent couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more to be known about the young woman.

'Like a child who was never a child. A girl who grew up too quickly into a woman without ever knowing the joys of adolescence. A chick that had to learn how to fly before it could grow feathers.'

Tiffany watched on concernedly as Taeyeon's peaceful face contorted in tandem with a burgeoning nightmare. Taeyeon twitched, brow furrowing as the dream continued to play out in her mind. Soon, tears began streaming down her pale face, worrying Tiffany.

"No. Don't. Please." Taeyeon muttered in her sleep, frowning. Tiffany could only look on, not knowing what to do.

"No! Take me instead! Don't! Please!" It was full on shouting now. Tiffany quickly gathered the sleeping girl in her arms, the bodyguard's hair, hoping it would help soothe her.

"Argh!" Taeyeon's face contorted as if she was in pain. "No. No. I beg you. NO!" Tiffany felt her own tears rolling down her face. She was crying as well. Feelings of confusion erupted inside of her. Desire to accomplish her mission and curiosity of Kim Taeyeon's past faded as Tiffany realized that she felt sorry for Taeyeon. That she felt like a mother trying to protect her child. Like she wanted to keep the older woman safe.

'Is it really worth using her to get information? To use her as a source when we don't even want to arrest her?' Tiffany's conscious was in turmoil. What was going on? Why is this so complicated? Tiffany never failed a mission, never doubted the methods she and Wooyoung had to use to get what the agency wanted as long as it didn't hurt an innocent. Now she's here, sitting next to the half-dry suspect they had been looking for for around two years, and not knowing what to do.

Exhausted, Tiffany decided that she should finish drying Taeyeon off before turning in. Grabbing the last towel left in the bathroom, she gently shifted the shorter woman so she could remove the heavy and rain-soaked coat the bodyguard was wearing. Wholly uncomfortable with completely undressing Taeyeon, the agent chose to just remove the black dress shirt before patting the other woman down with the towel, drying off whatever water was left. Walking over to her unkempt dresser, Tiffany pulled out her white bathrobe. 

Before she could close the drawer however, she spotted a shadow outside the window out of the corner of her eye. Spinning around quickly, she noticed the tail end of a moving shadow that skirted out of view. Tiffany stood silent and still, hand automatically at her gun in its holster. Two minutes passed before she released a breath she didn't realize she was holding and continued on with her task of keeping Taeyeon dry. Carefully sliding the bathrobe onto the sleeping girl, Tiffany continued watching the other woman sleep until she herself felt her eyelids grow heavy and falling asleep herself.

'I wonder if she has ever felt the warmth of love.'

///

silver | In the Confines of Silence II

Yuri and Jessica sat in silence as the former drove down from the grave site. They had watched as Taeyeon sobbed until she collapsed and the other woman rushing to pick her up off the ground. Of course, Yuri knew who the other woman was. She knew after she spotted the other watching her and Taeyeon talk in front of the apartment complex. Yuri was never out of the loop - not when Taeyeon was around. She knows what Taeyeon knows and Yuri knows that Tiffany Hwang wasn't supposed to be picking her target off the ground and putting her in her car. Yuri knows that Tiffany Hwang wasn't supposed to take Kim Taeyeon back to her own apartment due to many obvious reasons, including the fact that Taeyeon was the main suspect in her case. 

They had reached their destination: Tiffany Hwang's apartment. Handing the landlord a rather large denomination of money, she smiled as she took the master key and walked up the stairs with Jessica behind her. Reaching the room indicated by the landlord, Yuri inserted the key and turned her wrist, unlocking it. The couple stood still, thinking that the occupants would have heard by then and come open the door. However that was not the case, not a soul seemed to stir from the other side.

Pushing the door open quietly, Yuri was surprised at the sight of her trusted bodyguard asleep next to the agent. The agent seemed to have fallen asleep last seeing how she was sleeping on top of the covers, perched precariously on the edge of the bed. 

Yuri felt Jessica move behind her. Yuri knew Jessica must be just as, if not more, surprised as she is. Especially of the fact that Taeyeon would be in someone else's bed - clothed or not. Yuri pulled her fiancé to the dining area, out of sight from the bed and living room, and sat on the stools, waiting for the other two women to wake up.

///

A hour had passed before Yuri heard movement from the other side of the wall. Tiffany and Taeyeon must have woken up. Yuri gently nudged Jessica awake, who groggily lifted her head from the white linoleum countertop. The taller woman hesitated for a moment before leaning down and giving Jessica a kiss on the forehead and whispering "let's go."

///

Yuri couldn't help but chuckle at the expression of shock the agent had on her face. Perhaps this is why Taeyeon like toying with her. The results were somewhat amusing. She and Jessica stood silently as Tiffany quickly stood up, brow furrowing as she tried to decide to be polite and bow or to be angered as to how the two executives got into her home. 

Taeyeon on the other hand, just sat up silently on the bed, turning around so her back was to the other three. She removed the white robe she was wear revealing her bare body clad only in her underwear. Yuri tightened her jaw at the sight of the scars - she always did. She felt Jessica shift slightly as if wincing at the sight. Those scars brought up memories no one wanted to remember, or have for that matter. The two parallel V shaped scars running around the bodyguard's upper back was a reminder of what happened. A reminder that though Taeyeon accepted the blame, she had suffered as well. A reminder that Taeyeon herself might be nine feet underground as well.

It seemed as if the air in the room stilled - like all time had stopped - while Taeyeon dressed, captivating the other three with the sight before them. But it wasn't just the scars traveling along her otherwise unmarred skin that affected them. It wasn't just the fact that she was undressing and dressing in front of them. Yuri felt it was because of the fact that for the first time, the three of them - she, Jessica, and Taeyeon - were standing in the same room, together at the same time, with an outsider that happened to have walked into their secrets. 

There would be some explaining to do on their part to the agent.

'It's the only way.'

"We need to talk." Yuri said aloud, breaking the silence. "Tiffany Hwang." She turned towards the agent who in response, looked at her with surprised eyes.

Yuri stood still as Taeyeon moved towards her and Jessica. She watched silently as Taeyeon looked at her with tired eyes before bowing, moving to leave the apartment when she felt Jessica move and go after her. Yuri watched as Jessica walked over to Taeyeon, helping her button the topmost button the shirt before leading her out of the apartment in silence. Yuri closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. There was no other choice but to do it now. She noted the confusion in Tiffany's face out of the corner of her eye but decided to ignore the unspoken question Yuri knew the agent had.

"How much?" Yuri finally asked with a neutral voice.

"What?" 

"To keep quiet. How much?"

Tiffany looked at her with an incredulous expression. "I don't understand. There is nothing that I would have to say."

"Then what do you want? You understand that something like this would greatly affect our - I mean Jessica and my images as corporate executives. You witnessed the shame of three of the most powerful people in the world, and there is nothing you want?" Yuri asked, still keeping her voice neutral.

The two stared at each other for a few moments before Tiffany said in a soft, careful voice. "I want to know what could possibly make someone scream in such pain."

///

blue | In the Confines of Silence III

Jessica guided the hungover Taeyeon out of the elevator and towards the car parked on the curb. She had known that Taeyeon often went out to drink whenever she had a break but she had never seen the result firsthand. The bodyguard would sober up and clear herself of the hangover before she would even meet anyone. She had never seen Taeyeon out of control. Never. Except once. Except once when Taeyeon lost herself. When this mess all started. When Krystal died. When Jessica almost died. When Taeyeon almost died.

'But she did die. Her soul died.'

Jessica bit back the memories that suddenly flooded back into her mind, the dam she had been building for seven years had cracked, all because of the pitiful sight of Taeyeon stumbling towards the car. 

The blonde unlocked the car with her own set of keys and helped Taeyeon into the passenger seat seeing how it would have been difficult to put her in the back of a two door. Walking to the other side, Jessica entered from the driver's side and closed the door. She grabbed the half empty bottle of water from the center cup holders and held it to Taeyeon's lips, not trusting the bodyguard to hold it steady. 

But she didn't need to worry. Taeyeon's hands were always steady. Always. Even when drunk, she could balance a knife on the tip of her fingers, fire a gun bull'seye ten metres away. She almost never missed.

Almost.

She missed once.

Jessica closed her eyes, expression neutral but mind whirling around memories she wish she had forgotten. She opened her eyes only to look into Taeyeon's brown and weary orbs. 

Jessica wishes Taeyeon didn't miss. That Taeyeon didn't have to be so selfless and miss.

///
silver | In the Confines of Silence IV 

"Taeyeon was a kid genius." Yuri stood at the window, looking out at the tall buildings outside. There wasn't anything spectacular about the view, but she couldn't bring herself to look at Tiffany. "She got a college degree in Aeronautics when she was thirteen. She knew her way back and forth in Medicine and knew how to perform open heart surgery when she was fifteen." Yuri reached out her hand to touch the cool glass, staring as the rain formed rivulet patterns down the window. "Amazing isn't it?"

Tiffany stood quietly behind her, listening and watching carefully, not making a sound.

Yuri breathed in and out loudly through her nose before continuing. "Her parents had passed away early on. Her mother died of birth complications and her father died six years later from a bad liver caused by his alcoholism." Yuri's left index finger began tracing one of the rivulet paths down the glass. "So my family took her in. We became best friends, sisters. Inseparable from each other. But our lives were so different. Her father was a workaholic before he died, trying to work away the pain of losing his wife and to keep himself from hating his own child. He wanted her to walk his path - to be a military technology researcher."

Yuri sensed that Tiffany had moved closer behind her so she had waited to see if the agent would speak but was met with silence so she continued.

"My parents ran Kwon Corporation as you probably know. A pacifist organization dedicated to bring technology that would help end global problems like famine and war. We knew that Taeyeon would have been more than happy to work with us in helping research but my parents decided to honor her father's wishes - however against the idea of war they were. She worked for the government and helped develop state of the art ballistic missiles that were remotely controlled."

Yuri put her hand down and looked at her feet. "Though she worked, she and my parents decided that sending her to high school would be good. Some normalcy they said. To develop social skills. So she entered high school with me as a freshmen. All was well, we made friends, had fun. She met Jessica in our first year and they started dating. My family was close the Jung's so they had arranged a marriage between me and Jessica's younger sister, Krystal. The Jung's were diplomats, we were philanthropists, to top it off, the two of us actually liked each other, it seemed perfect. We were young and in love. Life seemed perfect."

"...Everything was perfect..." Yuri trailed off.

Yuri stopped speaking and closed her eyes, swallowing. She had never told anyone about their past. No one was supposed to know, but somehow, here she was, standing in the apartment of an Interpol agent, telling her the story.

"But..." Tiffany said, urging the taller woman to continue. Yuri knew she wanted to know. It was more than just a case now, it was just simple curiosity.

"But it all stopped being perfect."

///

black | In the Confines of Silence V

Taeyeon dozed off as she finished the water, faintly aware that Jessica was wiping her face with a tissue. Taeyeon never slept much. She didn't like sleeping, it made her afraid. It was the only time she was afraid because sleeping would make her remember.

Nightmares.

Yuri had gone off on a trip to Europe with her parents while Taeyeon had to stay behind because of work. A month had passed since Taeyeon's 17^th birthday and school was out for the year. She, Jessica, and Krystal decided to just stay over at the Kwon residence for the weekend seeing how the Jungs were gone as well. 

"You'll take care of my two little girls right, Taeyeon?" Mr. Jung smiled as Krystal and Jessica complained about being called little girls.

"Yes Mr. Jung. I will." Taeyeon said with a grin.

"Promise?" Yuri had said, one foot in the car.

"Promise." Taeyeon nodded and watched Yuri get into her parents' car and Mr. Jung get in his taxi before both drove away to the airport.

All was fine until someone knocked on the door.

They called themselves investors of new technology. They offered Taeyeon a job, they even had the contracts ready. Triple the pay from the government, freedom to research anything, flexible scheduling, all just for one catch - Give them the three new nerve toxins she was working on with the government.

Of course, Taeyeon refused. It was top secret project and having the toxin in the wrong hands would be disastrous. 

"I'm disappointed in your response Ms. Kim. You are letting down very powerful men. I do hope you will not regret this." The man had said before leaving.

And she did. Taeyeon regretted all of it - working in weaponry, for the government, opening the door to let the man in, all of it.

Two days later - the day Yuri was supposed to come back from her trip, they were taken. Taeyeon, Jessica, and Krystal were taken by masked abductors whom they later learned were Triad members. Holding, Krystal and Jessica at gunpoint, Taeyeon could only comply with their demands and was escorted from the warehouse to her lab by two men. She was forced to lie to the guards and tell them that the men were research aides and was then made to take three vials of the serum before they forced her back into the car and back to the warehouse.

///

"Prove it." The man had said, voice full of malice. He held a puppy in his right hand. It couldn't have been more than two weeks old. "Prove to me that it works. That it is real and you're not just holding a vial full of water."

"N-No." Taeyeon shrank back as the man stepped forward. 

"Oh? Do you want me to test it out on one of them?" He gestured towards Krystal and Jessica who were chained against a wall, a guard with a gun standing in front of them.

"No!" Taeyeon moved closer to the other two as the man followed, laughing. The guard had stepped away from Jessica and Krystal, moving towards the shorter girl with his gun raised. 

Holding a hand to signal the guard to stop, the man chuckled. "So then, what do you suggest we do Ms. Kim?" He moved suddenly and all Taeyeon felt was pain in her jaw, tasting the metallic flavor of blood in the mouth. Before she could realize what was going on, she felt another pain, this time on the left of her ribcage. She heard something crack.

He had kicked her, knocking her to the ground. Picking up the little case that held the vials, the man opened it and pulled the blue capped one out, pocketing the other two. "Now lets see what this one does shall we? " He picked out the syringe and filled it halfway. He then walked towards Krystal with a twisted grin deforming his face, "It'd be quite a sight seeing what a nerve toxin can do to someone won't it?" 

Jessica struggled desperately, screaming and kicking to no avail. All Krystal could do was move her eyes back and forth between the needle and the man's face as he leaned in closer, scream stuck in . Taeyeon could only watch helplessly as she tried to get on her feet, coughing up blood.

"N-No!" She gasped. "No! Don't! Please." She started crawling towards the man. "Take me instead. Test it on me." She reached for the man's pant leg and looked up with desperate eyes.

The man stared down at her with a smirk on his face. "I would. Seeing how you seem to be begging to be in pain. But unfortunately, the higher ups want you alive. You need to make more of this -" he pushed the syringe slightly, a few drops of liquid dripped out of the tip and onto the floor in front of Taeyeon, "- for them."

"BASTARD! Taeyeon would never do such a thing!" Jessica yelled out, still struggling to get out of her restraints.

The man turned calmly around to face the older Jung and brandished a knife. "I beg to differ."

"No!" Krystal and Taeyeon cried as he the hilt of the knife with his thumb. 

"No. No. I beg you!"

"Now, Miss Jessica Jung, I would suggest you keep quiet as this discussion does not involve you." He took the knife and pointed it at . "My patience tires of you three being so uncooperative. Perhaps I should - "

"No!" Taeyeon screamed again, lunging at the man. The guard took aim but was too slow to take a shot as the man easily grabbed Taeyeon off his back, holding her by the neck.

Gasping, Taeyeon clawed at his hand as he squeezed, nearly crushing her windpipe. After letting her choke for a few moments as Krystal and Jessica cried for him to let her go, he turned quickly, turning around and crushing Taeyeon to the ground facefirst.

Taeyeon could feel the warm, sticky liquid of her blood trickling down her face. He had broke her nose. 

"Now Ms. Kim, I was told not to kill you, but no one ever said anything about hurting you until you'realmost dead. Since you decided to play hero, I'll show your little girlfriend and friend what the consequence of trying my patience is." Pinning her to the ground with his knee on her back, the man put the syringe down on the floor and played with the knife between his fingers.

"I sincerely hope this won't kill you Ms. Kim." He held the knife as one would hold a scalpel, index finger pushing against the blunt side of the blade. With purposeful slowness, he cut a straight line diagonally across her back, smiling at the blood that bloomed onto her white shirt.

All Taeyeon could remember of that moment was pain and hearing herself scream.

For some reason, the man sent the guard out to check something before resuming his torture. He had finish cutting the second "V" across her back when a loud noise was heard from outside. Standing up, the man walked across the room to the door, leaving Taeyeon on the floor as Jessica and Krystal sobbing and praying that Taeyeon would get up. 

Taeyeon recalled an adrenaline rush when she was finally able to move her head and turned to see that the syringe was still on the floor. The memory of what occurred next is all in slow motion. 

Picking herself slowly off the ground, Taeyeon could hear ringing in her ears along with the relieved cries of her girlfriend and friend. Delirious with pain and blood loss, Taeyeon stumbled and found herself looking straight down at the syringe still half full of the nerve toxin from the blue capped vial.

The one toxin she had yet to perfect.

The other two worked almost instantaneously whereas this one would only work if injected directly into the bloodstream. It was to be an artificial substitute of the existing taipoxin, which was extracted and purified from the venom a taipan snake. It basically choked one to death by paralyzing the respiratory system. As it is still in the experimental stage, it was supposed to be injected through the pulmonary arteries to take immediate effect.

Taeyeon is a certified surgeon, she knew where the pulmonary arteries were without having to open anyone up. She knew exactly where to inject it - they had tested it on mannequins and convicts on a death sentence. She knew where, when, and how. The man's back was turned, she had the perfect chance. She had steady hands - she is a certified surgeon - it was all perfect.

But she had never killed a man before. 

She was never the one to inject it into the convicts they used for testing. She only read the reports and examined the bodies afterward. The older researchers wouldn't let her do it.

It was all perfect. 

But she missed. 

An inch off from the main artery. She had injected it into another vein, one that would take longer to reach his lungs. One that would cost a life.

Letting the man collapse in surprise, she rushed over to unchain the other two. Grabbing the keys that laid on the small desk in the center of the room, she unlocked Krystal's binding's first, helping the girl down, ignoring the sharp pain and blood dripping down her back. As she finally undid Jessica's chains, she had neglected to see that the man had gotten up, gasping and wheezing for air as he reached for a gun hidden in the desk drawers. 

She had neglected to see that. But Krystal had not.

Pushing Taeyeon behind herself, Krystal moved to block the shorter girl and her sister right as the man fired.

Two gunshots rang out.

One bullet reached the wrong target - Krystal's heart.

Another reached the right target - The man's back.

Taeyeon could only gape in shock as the younger girl fell into her arms, the front of her shirt covered in blood. 

"No." A familiar voice rang out. Kwon Yuri.

The dark haired girl rushed out from behind the police officer who had killed the man. She ran over to her fiancé, clutching desperately at her hands. 

Though she had a faint memory of Jessica crying next to her, Taeyeon could only remember one thing from that moment. 

Yuri's eyes. Accusing, blaming, burning, guilt wrenching eyes. They stared up at her as Krystal gasped heavily, tightening her grip on Yuri's hand and Taeyeon's arm.

"I-I love you Y-Yuri…"

///

pink | In the Confines of Silence VI

"After Taeyeon was released from the hospital, she left Korea." Yuri was still standing at the window, not looking at Tiffany.

Tiffany could only stand in silent shock as she watched the taller woman continue her tracing of rivulets down the glass. She had not expected anything of that caliber.

'No wonder Taeyeon hunts down members of the Triad.'

"She left to go to Japan, where she isolated herself, recovering from physical and mental trauma in a hospital in Kyoto. She never told us about it, not me, Jessica, or either of our parents." Yuri paused again, staring out into the rain.

"She missed Krystal's funeral."

Tiffany looked up from her feet to see that Yuri was holding her hand up to the scarce sunlight, examining her engagement ring.

"She was gone for four years. No call, no letter. Just the doctors sending the occasional reports on her condition. We were all heartbroken. Our parents decided to continue with the marriage between our families so Jessica and I got engaged." Yuri fiddled around with the ring, pulling it loose before putting it back on again.

"She came back after the doctors said she was completely recovered - mentally. But everyone knew she wasn't. She was different. She was...like how she is now." Her face twisted in pain - like she was chewing glass - swallowing. Her voice wavered as she stopped speaking, dropping her hand and looking down at her feet.

Tiffany waited for Yuri to continue but the impending silence made her realize Yuri had finished what she had to say. Moving closer to the executive, Tiffany stood behind her, precisely two feet away. 

She spoke softly, "You blamed her didn't you? That's why you can't move on." 

"I don't want to blame her. I wish I didn't. But I do." Yuri looked at the steel case on the floor next to her. She bent to pick it up, opening it. The revolver gleamed in the struggling sunlight. The bullets rest snugly in their foam indents under the barrel. "My mind blames her but my heart blames myself. I'm blaming everything on everyone when there isn't anything to blame nor is there anyone to blame it on."

Tiffany lowered her eyes, voice neutral and steady, but still quiet. "Do you love her? Do you love Jessica?"

Yuri did not move, but Tiffany could see the faint reflection in the window and noted that Yuri had also looked downwards. "I do. I'm trying to."

"She is as well." Tiffany replied. "It's all a matter of whether or not you forgive yourself and Taeyeon for what shouldn't be yours to feel guilty of."

Yuri turned her head halfway to look at Tiffany with questioning eyes.

"Are you willing to let go so you can love Jessica as she deserves? Why can't you let the memory of her go? Why can't you stop comparing Jessica to Krystal? Why can't you forgive Taeyeon so she can forgive herself?" Tiffany raised her voice until her very last word was a yell. She exhaled nosily before softening her tone, "It just seems like no one is winning anything from your game."

Yuri finally turned to fully face her and replied with an empty smile, "It wasn't designed to have a winner."

Tiffany looked at her in anguish. She shouldn't have interest in this, but she did. She couldn't stand seeing the three women torture themselves over the past.

"Can't you just let Taeyeon go? See that Jessica is in pain too? It isn't just about the two of you."

"I'm trying to. I know that it hurts. It's just so...hard." Yuri stared down at the open gun case in her hands. "You see this gun? It has only three chambers. One for each of us in a sense." She paused to see if Tiffany understood and continued when the agent nodded, acknowledging the fact that she knew about the gun. "Taeyeon made it with her own hands when we were fifteen. We had watched a movie about friends who committed suicide after one of them died. She said we should do the same. It was only a joke back then but now... it's just cold hard fact. We’ve bound ourselves to this game and accepted the rules without question."

Tiffany swallowed and felt like a brick had slid down . "Then let me play," she said quietly.

Yuri looked at her with wide eyes. "What?"

"Let me play. Unless you're willing to let things go, I won't stand here and watch the three of you wait for the day you'll have to kill yourselves." Tiffany felt as if fire ran through her veins. She was sick of how blind the three of them were, so helpless in their own haze of events, so caught up in their own little world."

Yuri looked down at the revolver, smiling her empty smile. The two stood in silence, facing each other for what felt like hours before Yuri looked up and spoke.

"Why?"

Tiffany was surprised at her own answer. "Because I care too much. Because I don't ever want to see another human being cry the way she did ever again."

Yuri kept her hollow smile as she reached her hand to the case and pulled out one of the bullets. She held it up to eyelevel, admiring the intricate name carved on it before reaching for Tiffany's hand and pressing it to her palm.

"One less player in our little game." Yuri whispered before walking past Tiffany and out of the apartment.

Tiffany stood silently and listened to the door close and the footsteps fade into the rhythm of the pounding rain, her hand still in the position Yuri had left it. She looked down at the metal object and read the name carved in minute font.

Jessica Jung.

+++++++++