[A/N: Here's my double update for tonight, April 2, 2012! I'm sooo excited to read your comments! However, I won't read them yet.. Hihi..I'll reward myself by reading your comments after I finish this chapter! Yay! And I have pictures for this chapter. Haha ]

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>>> CHAE RIN'S POV<<<

I checked my watch. 2 45 AM..

There are days when I feel utterly useless and cracked.

By cracked, I mean to say that I have no direction in life.

I'm wrecked, sleepless and everything ugly.

My absurd dating issue with Lee Donghyun isn't dying yet. The female trainees HATE me.

To be called a ….

is so hurtful and degrading.

… But what hurts me more is Lu Han.

Oh and I feel like an idiot about it. I think it's stupid of me to like someone as high as Lu Han.

He's got money, fame.. basically everything.. 

while I have nothing to brag about.

Ugh. I have lost my mind. 

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2:50 A.M. Donghyun wanted to walk me home since training was over, but for the 100th time, I refused.

He doesn't even know where I live. I don't want him to know. it's too personal already.

I escaped from him and dashed to SM's fifteenth floor.

15th Floor. SM's Gym Floor. 

I headed to SM's costly indoor pool. It looked so high-maintainance.

As a kid, I used to go to swimming whenever I had problems. I've always thought that the water washes all my dilemmas away.

I bumped into Seohyun-sunbae of SNSD. I bowed at her. 

"Oh hello. Are you going to take a swim? I just finished practicing for the Idol Star Championships." She told me.

I smiled politely. "Goodluck, Seohyun-sunbae." I said.

Seohyun grinned. "You can call me unnie." 

I bowed, and soon she left. I was alone. 

I took off all my training clothes. my jacket, my second jacket, my jeans and rubber shoes.

The pool gave off a lonely feel since the only lights available were the dim ones.

So wearing only my black undergarments and tie-dye shirt, I made my way to the pool.

Good thing the water felt warm. I walked, feeling heavy because of the water's weight.

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I stayed on the edge of the pool and faced the synthetic wooden wall. I was looking at nothing but it.

It allowed my thoughts to have a re-entry. Here we go again with the torturous thinking.

Come on Chae Rin. You're not falling in love, so don't overreact.

How can I not overreact?

Two months ago, he would pester me daily, and now….

NOW… he's unreachable.

and I miss him? Damn it, yes, I miss Lu Han.

And the worst way to miss someone is when he's right in front of you yet you know that you can never have him.

Every time Mi Yeul tries to diss me, Donghyun tries to stop her.

Call me choosy, but I want Lu Han to defend me from her.

Th