Forbidden Sentiments Chapter 8: Why can't it be?

Forbidden Sentiments

 

 

HEY GUYS. :) TO EXPLAIN FURTHER WHY THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT, EUN AE WAS SUPPOSED TO TELL SIWON THE TRUTH. SHE EVEN PREPARED HERSELF AND SPENT TIME FINDING WAYS TO TELL HIM THAT. SHE WAS BADLY FRUSTRATED AND HURT WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT TO TELL HIM EVERYTHING, BUT SIWON WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO LAUGH AT HER AND TAKE IT AS A JOKE. Try putting herself into her shoe. What if you confessed your love to a guy then he suddenly laughs at you? That would make you sad and broken, right? So yeah. Just so you know. :)

 

EUN AE

 

"I overreacted. Just go to sleep."

 

That's what I said to him in reply. Siwon, why can't you at least take me seriously? You've hurt me too much and I'm still here, loving you. Everything wasn't on purpose. You were just a friend to me back then. But I think it's hard to start over because of what happened in the past few months. I really love you. Got it? But you're committed and in love with someone else. You said I was important to you, but everyday, I'm still longing for your care and love for me. I keep on asking myself, "Why am I always in the second place? Can I at least be the one for you even just for a day?"

 

"Why can't it be? Why can't it be the two of us? Why can't we be lovers? ONLY FRIENDS."

 

That song was stucked on my head as I was listening to the radio and suddenly I fell asleep. Siwon, I am sorry, but..

 

One hour later, I woke up. Numb and trying to remember what happened a while ago. I checked my phone and it was filled with 25 messages and 5 missed calls. He didn't stop.

 

"Just go to sleep." I said. That was the only thing I could say. Come on, it's 3am already. If my phone wasn't in silent mode then my mom would scold me for being noisy.

 

He replied after a few minutes.

 

"Eun Ae, please forgive me. I won't sleep unless you accept my apology. I waited for you to say you are here and here to stay. I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on us."

 

You know what I've felt? It seemed like we're a couple. I broke up with him and he wants me back. This is what I hate in a complicated relationship. More than friends, less than lovers.But the truth is, it's only flirting or somehow a fling because we will never be lovers. Only as FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. His words were pathetic, but catchy. I can't help but give in. But I can't forgive him yet. I know he'll just abandon me. He needs to double his effort for me. 

 

Our cycle goes like this. I will feel sad when he doesn't spend time with me and I'm having a hard time moving on. Then I will feel sadness and depression and text him goodbye. Siwon will reply and ask me why and I'm going to tell him what I'm feeling. After that, we'll be okay again and he'll go back to what he's doing and back to start. It's tiring, but what can I do? I love him so much that it hurts already. Just like in Demi Lovato's Here We Go Again,"And I know that I should say goodbye but it's no use, can't be with or without you."That sentence in her song explains everything. I tell people that I've already moved on just to stop them from being annoyed. But the truth is, every time I wake up, he's the reason why and that I can't deny.

 

"Just go to sleep." I repeated that sentence again. If you really want me to forgive you then double your efforts.

 

WILL SIWON BE FORGIVEN? CHECK OUT THE NEXT CHAPTER! :D

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