EUN AE'S POINT OF VIEW

 

Yesterday, I cried because of I myself am aware that you're no longer with me. I pushed you away just to prevent myself from hurting and being a burden. It was a stupid mistake to give up on you, Siwon. The fact that I still love you had never changed. But I tell you, you may be fine without me, but I still need you in my life.

 

I shouldn't have let you go in the first place. The only reason why I did it is because I'm afraid of hurting myself again. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. But ironically, I can't help myself from falling in love with you. The more I hold on, the more I want myself to stay away from you. You are my friend and I don't want to lose our friendship because of my feelings. I am aware that you're not in love with me at all. But why the heck do you want to spend your time with me? That's even worse than what I've thought. I also tried to let go, but unfortunately it didn't work. I mean, how can I let go of someone who had given me so much to remember? Every time I sleep, I always pray that you would stay. Every time I wake up, you're the one who's always on my mind. Without you, there's no me and that I guarantee.

 

SIWON'S POINT OF VIEW [Well, just so you know, I created this story with two point of views. :D]

 

 

Everything was peaceful that time. Except for the fact that I'm darn sick. I was in my room holding my phone and waiting for some text messages when Eun Ae texted me.

 

"Siwon, goodbye. It hurts already. If you're wondering why I'm selfish and unaware of your feelings, it's probably because I lost myself while I was loving you. You're the only thing that revolves around me so you can't blame me for this. I don't want to push myself just to be with you. I know you're not in love with me. I'm sorry if I kept on loving you even if it's not right. Good night."

 

I don't know why she was acting this way. Did I do something wrong?  What's the matter, Eun Ae?

 

I texted her back and it took me a few minutes to type that damn message.

 

"Do you really want me to go? Sure, I'll stay away from you forever. You keep pushing away all the people to give importance to you. I can't change you anymore so if that's what you want, then so be it. I am sick right now, Eun Ae. I stayed up all night just for you and you'll just push me away? :'(("

 

I know I'm dramatic, but that's what I've felt. I can't make her stay. I'm not her boyfriend. I know she has gone through a lot of pain while loving me. But what can I do?

 

"Siwon, I'm sad right now and I feel like giving up. Maybe I'm not strong enough to hold on and fight for you, and no matter how hard I try, I can't make myself perfect for you. Even if I do my best every time, it hurts knowing that even if I'm the best person in the world, it's still not enough for you. I just want you to be happy. I'm giving you up. You won't need me anymore. I'm starting to look like an idiot. I want to end this already. I don't even know if you even like me and it hurts knowing that you won't love me. Because of that, I can't go back to the Eun Ae you've known."

 

Eun Ae is really dramatic, but I do understand her. If I were in her position, I would feel the same. Except for the bitterness, of course. I want the two of us to stay friends, but she doesn't want to.

 

"Okay. I won't interfere with you anymore. You're better off without me."

 

It hurts knowing that a girl who used to love you more than she should will just say goodbye to you and leave you forever. I've encountered that a lot. Trust me. But if that's what she wants, that what she'll get. But secretly, I don't want her to go. She's my best friend and I can't afford to lose her.

 

TO BE CONTINUED... Bwhahahaha. :)) What do you think will happen next?

 

"I breakdown everytime you come around, Siwon." - Eun Ae.