Dongho woke next to his mother as he did every morning, feeling nothing peculiar about it at all as he covered her more fully on the mattress and went to change into his school uniform, looking at the scabs he had on his hands from his last mental breakdown, not believing he had lasted even a week after that. They were still tender and sore for the fact they were slow to heal as they had gotten infected. Dongho didn't fail to see the metaphor between his physical and emotional scars.

To not reopen his wounds, Dongho couldn't put on his worn woolen gloves for the walk, snow had begun to fall, early this year than last, and everything was covered in white. Dongho briefly thought of redemption and forgiveness as he stepped onto the sidewalk covered in a freshly fallen batch of snow. As he trampled the perfection, he knew that was just how it went. Redemption, forgiveness, ruin. Really, that was all life was. Sometimes the ruin phase lasted longer than redemption and forgiveness ever could.

Making it to school in one piece and just on time, Dongho had no time to go up to the roof like he usually did, but at least within the last week, he had come everyday and attended every class on time. The modification felt good for him, even if no one in his classes would have cared, Dongho's recent commitment to school was a refreshing change of pace from his usual. Just like the sudden winter snowfall, maybe this was a new start for him, a blank slate.

Sitting in his seat as the teacher came in, Dongho listened to the lecture intently, feeling a little light. He couldn't place where this strange mood was coming from, but it vaguely resembled happiness. At least, what he remembered of it. It reminded him of summers with his grandma, spitting watermelon seeds in competition, of playfulness, of smiles, ice cream on hot days.

It was as if, suddenly, everything around him had turned fifty shades brighter than the oppressing blackness he was surrounded in.

As unfamiliar as the feeling in his chest, his lips curved into a slight smile over lunch and a quick study session with Chunhae. “Hey, Dongho-ah...you have a smile on your face!” Chunhae felt the need to point out, “what's got you smiling, Mr. Grumpus?”

Dongho shrugged, as he couldn't even explain it to himself, “I guess...it's just one of the days.”

“Ah, I get it. I've been in an extra good mood, too, because I love snow, so maybe that's it for you, too.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Dongho grunted, congratulating her on her English. She sure was doing better with his help, he couldn't help but notice.

After lunch, the rest of school passed by in a breeze and Dongho made his was to Chunhae's house, fresh and almost skipping alongside her. He couldn't help but think how strange this sudden delirium was considering his perpetual melancholy, but who was he to question it? He desperately hoped for relief from what he felt inside everyday, and maybe...just maybe, someone was granting him his wish. Was it...God? Was God finally showing some mercy on him. After all, no one should worry or hurt so much.

Whether God, or just incidental euphoria, Dongho was so thankful for it. Like, maybe there was and end to all this mess coming soon. “I don't know, Dongho, it's weird seeing you in such a good mood, I want to tell you to stop it...but I think you need it.” Chunhae sighed.

Not for the first time, Dongho sense a certain level of understanding in her eyes, like some part of her new exactly what he was going through, even though he never said a word to her about any of it. She just seemed to sense it, understand it. However unusual, it was the tiniest bit comforting. A reminder that he truly wasn't alone.

As what seemed to be becoming the usual, Chunhae fed him dinner before they began studying, something that she cooked herself. The first few times she had done so, he was surprised at home completely filling such a meal was, as he couldn't remember the last time he actual had eaten something made from scratch. Now, although his mouth still watered every time he could smell the food cooking, he was growing used to it.

He thanked Chunhae as she presented the food on the table, and began to dig in enthusiastically. “You have a wonderful talent in cooking.” Dongho complimented happily, causing Chunhae to smile wide and twirl a little in her spot.

“Thank you so much, Dongho-ssi.”

Feeling like he was on top of the world after he left Chunhae's house after their session, he headed straight to work, not even caring he would barely be on time for once. The whole day felt completely stress-free, and he was loving it. Even if tomorrow all this came crashing down on him, he would remember what this felt like, and cling to it for dear life. Because maybe it could give him a bit of strength for the next day.

Even though he so desperately needed the extra money, Dongho didn't even steal a coin from his customers and store, he honestly put it in his register and moved on to the next guest. Even his manager noticed his extra interest in his job, and promptly commented.

Looking out the store windows, Dongho could see a dark cloud forming outside in the distance as the sun dropped below the horizon. He didn't care, he'd be safely home when the storm hit, waiting for his mother. He'd tell her once again how much he loved her and that he felt things were finally going to start getting better. It was just a feeling that he got, that it was almost over. All of it.

He even bothered to pick up two chocolate cakes for them to eat when she arrived home, hoping that she would be in more of a sober mood. It happened twice in a row already, and the third time is the charm, right? Dongho was just so happy. The best part was he didn't even know why.

It all came crashing down too soon as Dongho opened the door to his apartment and saw his mother at the table. The bag in his hand still clutching the doorknob dropped, ruining the sweets especially when he stepped on them in an attempt to make it to his mother. He fell to his knees, breath and heartbeat erratic, and grabbed for her hand. Ice cold, much like it always was, but somehow this was different.

A puddle of foam had formed on the table under her cheek where her white face lay, her lips blue and crack. Her eyes were closed, as if she awaited death peacefully. Dongho hadn't realized he'd been screaming, or that tears were flowing down his cheeks until the roaring in his ears began to subside.

He kept screaming for his mother, even though he knew she would never answer, he shook her ice cold and rigid body, not noticing a small paper fall from her hand, he just kept sobbing until he heard sirens, his breakdown must have caused one of his neighbors to call the cops.

The next few hours passed by in a blur, Dongho gave his statement and they took his mother away, all the while, tears were still overflowing from his eyes, soaking his shirt. It was then, in the oppressing silence of his apartment that he realized the pounding of rain against the window, the occasional flash of lightening or crash of thunder not even phasing him as he stared blankly at the table where his mom had sat to take her last breath.

I didn't want to do it like this, but TT^TT I felt I had no choice.

Poor Dongho. Poor, poor thing.

HIS MOTHER!!!!!! TT^TT

The next chapter will be Dongho's last before I get to Kevin's.

Oh, and, just so you know, there will be a little more after each members' individual chapters, if I can manage it. Which I am determined to, so, please look forward to it. ^.^ Even if this story is really sad and just...*sigh* I don't know how I even came up with this, but, like I said, it was about two years ago when I came up with the initial plot...and then...this. TT^TT