For the first time since he started living with s, Daehyun wasn't the first to wake up.

When he opened his eyes the next morning, he was incredibly disoriented. He registered the softness and smell of his bed and sheets, felt the warmth surrounding him. Daehyun pulled the blankets higher up to cover most of his face, fully intending to bury himself in them and to possibly fall back asleep. But before he could get too comfortable, images from the night before flashed in his mind, making his eyes snap open. In the next moment, he was sitting up and frantically looking around in the dim light of the room. How did he end up in his bed? The last thing he remembered was crying on the floor with his back against the door. Did he sleepwalk?

Gripping his chest, he willed his erratic heart to slow; it felt as though it would explode, and his blood was pounding. He’d broken out in a cold sweat.

As Daehyun wiped his clammy hands on the front of his shirt, he realized that he was in the same state as he remembered. His shaky hands inspected the tears in his clothes and the marks on his skin. He couldn’t imagine how his face must’ve looked and wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out.

With some effort, Daehyun managed to crawl out of bed and work his way to the bathroom. He didn’t yet notice s who were awake unusually early, but they definitely noticed him. He, himself, had woken up slightly earlier than usual, which gave him enough time to take a much-needed shower.

Once inside, Daehyun took a deep breath, readying himself to face whatever he saw in the mirror.

Still, his breath hitched, and a sob rose from his chest past the lump in his throat. Just as he was sure there were no more tears left in him, his eyes began to water.

His eyes were sticky and pink and terribly swollen, but he’d already known that. His hair was a mess and sticking up in every direction, he was caked in dirt, his skin was littered with ugly bruises and scratches, his lips were split and bloody, his clothes were ruined and stretched and ripped. He looked as though he’d wrestled with an animal and just barely made it out alive, which, when he thought about it, wasn’t too far from the truth. Thin fingers massaged his throbbing scalp. He had a headache, but he was sore all over so it wasn’t so pronounced. Disgusted, he clenched his fingers around a fistful of hair, pulling just hard enough for him to focus on the pain.

Just then, he caught a quick glimpse of an angry red spot on the side of his neck. Daehyun quickly turned away from the mirror, looking down in time to see drops of water appear on the floor. Why? Why did this have to happen to him?

He cried as silently as he could. By the time he stripped and stepped into the shower, he was still crying. He watched as his tears mingled with the water from the shower so that he could no longer tell them apart. Even as he washed himself, he was afraid to look down at the rest of his body. How was he going to cover up all these marks? How was he going to explain them – not only to s, but to their managers, the staff, even the fans if they noticed something wasn’t right with him?

I shouldn’t be crying. After all, it was his own fault. He had no one to blame but himself. If only he wasn’t so stubborn, if only he went home sooner, if only he hadn’t waited so long for Yongguk –

Yongguk.

Oh, God. Not him, especially not him. He couldn’t find out. That would only make him more pitiful, wouldn’t it? Of course it would. And he couldn’t have that. Then again, he wasn’t ready yet. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be. But Daehyun refused to be seen as pathetic any longer.

So why did he feel like he was?

--

In the living room, everyone was quiet.

It was as though Jongup, Himchan, Youngjae, and Junhong made sure to wake up at the same time and before Daehyun. They noticed when he came out of his room and headed for the bathroom, but none of them said anything, deciding to give the boy some time to wash up before opening up about last night.

Jongup was tense, his muscles taut and his jaw clenched. He was so worried about Daehyun and could hardly sleep. All through the night, his mind kept replaying different scenarios that made his blood boil and made him want to take Daehyun into his arms and never let him go, to protect him no matter what.

The sound of a door opening caused the four boys to look up, expecting to see the person they wanted to talk to. Who they saw, instead, was their leader.

“Morning,” said Yongguk.

The rest nodded while Jongup refused to make eye contact.

Yongguk seemed to pick up on the tense atmosphere, but didn’t know what to make of it. “Umm…you guys are up early for once.” He cleared his throat. “Is…is Daehyun awake? I need to talk to him – “

“In the bathroom,” Youngjae said. “He’s in the bathroom.”

“Sit down, Yongguk.” Himchan looked at the other, his gaze piercing and slightly accusatory. “We need to talk.”

Frankly, Jongup didn’t want nor need to talk to Yongguk; he already knew where he was and what he did yesterday. Who he really wanted to talk to was Daehyun.

Almost robotically, Yongguk made his way over to where the rest of them were sitting. He rubbed his neck awkwardly. Jongup was sure the other could feel his own glare directed at him, but, of course, he put in extra effort to avoid it.

“So, uh…what’s up? What’s wrong?”

“Don’t be like that, hyung,” Jongup replied. “You know what’s wrong.”

Jongup knew, but the rest of them didn’t.

“Okay, wait,” Youngjae interjected. “So let’s start with yesterday morning. Weren’t you supposed to meet Daehyun somewhere?”

At this, Yongguk visibly tensed. Apparently, he hadn’t thought of a plausible way to explain what happened to s. After all, none of them (besides Jongup) knew about Daehyun’s feelings and the “date.” “Y-Yeah, about that…I – ”

“You didn’t show up,” Jongup accused. “You never showed up.”

All eyes turned to him, waiting for him to explain. Frustrated – at himself, at the situation, at yesterday’s events, at not knowing just what the hell happened after he left – Jongup sighed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

“I ran into Daehyun hyung in the afternoon and waited with him supposedly until Yongguk hyung got there. We waited for hours.” As he talked, he never took his eyes off of Yongguk, who looked down guiltily. Jongup didn’t feel bad for him at all. “I tried to get Daehyun hyung to stop waiting, to go back to the dorms with me, but he wouldn’t listen. He kept insisting that Yongguk hyung would come, but he never did.”

He waited for the other members to take that all in. He didn’t know what they were thinking, but they were definitely mad. Taking a deep breath, Himchan began again. “Okay, so you two waited, and Yongguk never showed up. What happened after that?”

“Yeah,” said Junhong. “Why did Daehyun hyung come home alone?”

“And why did he look like he was attacked?” asked Youngjae.

“Wait – what?” Everyone turned to Yongguk, who looked extremely confused. “What are you guys talking about? What do you mean Daehyun came home alone? What did he look like?” This time, Yongguk stared directly at Jongup. “What happened to him last night?”

Jongup gritted his teeth. “Well, if you weren’t so busy with Jieun noona – ”

“Whoa whoa whoa, slow down,” Himchan interrupted him. “What does Jieun have anything to do with this?” But he already knew the answer as soon as he asked. “You mean you stood Daehyun up for her?”

 Youngguk knew he wasn’t looking so great at the moment, but he still wanted to know what the hell happened last night. “It’s not like that, it’s – ”

The bathroom door opened, and there stood Daehyun, shocked and frozen in place.

Jongup immediately stood up. “Daehyun hyung.” In the bright light, Jongup could clearly see the multiple marks on the other boy’s body. A lump formed in his throat. Daehyun hurriedly crossed his arms in front of his chest and pulled up the neck of his thin long-sleeved shirt, trying to hide as much skin as possible. But it was too late. Everyone had already seen it all.

“Uh…good morning.” Daehyun smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Wow, you’re all up early today. That makes my life easier.” He laughed, but it died as soon as he noticed s’ concerned expressions.

“Daehyun-ah…”

“Daehyun, come over here. Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

Jongup noticed Daehyun starting to panic. Clearly, he wasn’t yet ready to face s, and Jongup knew it was hard, but he wasn’t going to let Daehyun get away without telling him who hurt him. He saw the other boy look at his bedroom. “Hyung, please.” Jongup stepped closer, slowly moving toward Daehyun with open arms. “Please talk to us.”

They held each other’s gaze for what seemed like minutes before Yongguk, too, stood up.

--

“Dae?” As though struck by lightning, Daehyun jumped, turning his head slowly to face Yongguk. He took in the younger’s distressed, watery eyes, the injuries on his otherwise perfect face, the dark bruises peeking out from underneath his shirt. Daehyun squirmed under his scrutinizing gaze, becoming even more self-conscious.

Was all that my fault? Yongguk swallowed. “Daehyun, I know you’re probably mad or upset about yesterday, but can we talk, please? I need to talk to you, Daehyunnie. We can go somewhere else, just – ”

Daehyun stepped back. Somewhere in the middle of talking, Yongguk had moved closer and reached a hand out to touch the boy’s face. Daehyun started chuckling nervously. “Why are you guys acting like this? I told you that I got lost and tripped, that’s all. Nothing else happened. Really.”

“That’s not true, Daehyun,” said Youngjae. “We all know you’re lying. Tell us what really happened so that we can help you, okay?”

Daehyun shook his head ever-so-slightly and cracked a small smile. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Daehyun,” Yongguk said more firmly. “You’re clearly not fine. We need to talk about this. You’re hurt. If something bad happened to you because of me – ”

Yeah, because of me. “,” Yongguk cursed under his breath.

Daehyun bit his bottom lip. “I – it’s no big deal. Besides, we have a schedule in a few hours, and the makeup noonas are going to have to figure out how to make me look presentable. We can talk later, okay? I promise.”

Yongguk looked at the time and sighed. Daehyun was right. “Yeah...okay. It’s a promise.”

--

It seemed that, lately, promises were empty and only made to be broken.

Of course, Yongguk couldn’t blame Daehyun for not wanting to talk to him – he knew he deserved it – but the limited communication and contact was driving him insane. The leader could barely concentrate on anything; his thoughts were always full of Daehyun, and he couldn’t stop them. The day after their supposed “date,” Daehyun had trimmed his hair and dyed it brown. Since then, Yongguk couldn’t help but admire his new appearance. He’d always thought that the younger was good-looking before, but now, he realized even more just how beautiful he was.

The thought unsettled Yongguk.

Every time he or another member would try to bring up that night, Daehyun would smile and change the subject or make an excuse. From Yongguk’s understanding, he wouldn’t even talk to Youngjae. Granted, it had only been a few days and Daehyun was probably still traumatized by whatever happened, but keeping it from the rest of the members wasn't doing anyone any good.

In the midst of yet another sleepless night, Yongguk walked out of his bedroom to get something to drink. Jieun had been calling and texting him a lot in the past couple of days, but he didn’t have the energy to talk to her – at least not until things got sorted out with Daehyun. He still felt incredibly guilty about not getting the chance to apologize yet, but they’d been so busy and tired and Daehyun seemed to not want anything to do with him.

Yongguk noticed light coming from Daehyun’s bedroom door, which probably meant that the boy was still awake. Alright, Yongguk decided, he was finally going to talk to him, and he wasn’t taking no for an answer this time. Quietly but quickly, Yongguk walked to his door. Just as he was about to knock and crack open the door even further, he caught a glimpse of Daehyun’s exposed upper body, ridden with – oh, God, what were those?

Yongguk pushed the door all the way open and marched right up to Daehyun. Startled, the younger quickly struggled to put his shirt back on. “Daehyun, wait, stop. What happened? Let me see. I need to know what happened.” When Yongguk started to tug the boy’s shirt off, Daehyun panicked and desperately tried to push the other away.

“H-hyung, stop…STOP!”

No; he needed to see, he needed to know, he needed Daehyun to look at him and talk to him again.

“Please, Dae, I won’t hurt you, just let me – ”

“Ah!”

Yongguk held the boy’s wrists firmly, unknowingly hurting him. Daehyun stopped struggling for a moment, and Yongguk used it to finish taking off the piece of clothing.

He wished he hadn’t.

Daehyun was crying, his eyes hidden behind his bangs. Yongguk stared at the skin, zeroing in on what were unmistakably hickeys scattered along his neck and collarbone, the long scratches from fingernails across his chest, and the bruises from where fingers wrapped tightly around his forearms. He was speechless. Subconsciously, his grip around Daehyun’s wrists tightened, emitting more pained cries from the younger. “Who did this?” Daehyun sniffled and squirmed, trying to break free. “Tell me who did this, Daehyun-ah.”

The next thing he knew, they had an audience.

--

Jongup woke up to all-too-familiar cries. He shot up in bed and immediately rushed out of his room. He almost ran into Youngjae, who also woke up because of the noise. The two of them ran toward Daehyun’s room, with Jongup in the front, and stopped abruptly in the doorway.

Yongguk was grabbing a crying Daehyun’s wrists, whose shirt looked like it’d been ripped off his body against his will. Jongup saw red.

“Let go! You’re hurting him!” Jongup shoved Yongguk away with all his strength, then turned to Daehyun. “Are you okay?” He tenderly rubbed the boy’s wrists and attempted to wipe his tears. Youngjae came and grabbed a sweatshirt, helping Daehyun into it, but not before they both saw more evidence of what confirmed their suspicions. But now wasn’t the time; Daehyun had enough emotional turmoil for today.

By this time, Himchan and Junhong were also standing in the doorway, demanding to know what was going on. “Daehyun needs to rest,” Jongup told them. He then turned to glare at Yongguk. “Leave. Now.”

While Jongup was busy tending to Daehyun, he guessed that Himchan must’ve gotten everyone out of the room. He didn’t care. All that mattered was the fragile boy in front of him.

“J-J-Jongup-ah…”

“Shh.” Jongup pulled the blankets around the both of them as he lay down next to Daehyun. Jongup wrapped his strong arms around the other, gently rubbing his back and caressing his hair. “Sleep, hyung. Go to sleep. Everything will be better tomorrow, I promise. I’ll be here for you.”

Daehyun cried, and Jongup’s heart cried with him.

/sings "Doom Dada" LONG TIME NO SEE LO-LONG TIME NO SEE

/shot

WOW it's been so long! I'm so so sorry for my incredibly long absence, my lovely readers. It's been, what? More than a year? Ha ha...ha. /brick'd

With my continued B.A.P love and renewed feels, I decided, on a whim, to reread this entire story and to pick up where I left off. Truth be told, I don't really remember where I was going with this story. BUT I have new inspiration and new ideas, so I'd deeply appreciate it if you all look forward to the rest of this story! ^ O^

So since it's been a long time since I've updated, you might notice that my writing style has changed somewhat (or maybe it hasn't, I don't know lol). I hope that doesn't bother you too much or throw anyone off guard! And sorry that this chapter is kind of rushed; I just really wanted to get something out ASAP and I have so many things I want to write now ugh.

Aaaanyway, I'm glad to be back (to writing fics, that is)! And to everyone celebrating the holidays, Happy Thanksgiving! <33