Youngjae remembered that particular day on Weekly Idol. That particular day when he played the apple game with the maknae. They admitted they were the most awkward pair, the emcees then proceeding to try to get them closer in both a figurative and literal sense.  

Placing the green apple between their foreheads was still teetering on the edge of manageable but placing the apple in between their lips...that was a little too close for comfort. He could practically still remember the scent of the other as he leaned in incredibly close, the apple moving down the younger's lean neck. 

The maknae was cowering the more he went down so much so that he could feel the other slightly shaking. Now that he thought about it, Youngjae wondered how the other would react if the apple weren't there in the first place; not between their foreheads and most importantly, not between their lips. How would Junhong react, with his lips against the other's.

Would he cower even more and when he starts to kiss down his neck, would the younger allow him to. What sounds would he make then, would the maknae squirm and whimper...or giggle because of the ticklish feeling? 

Youngjae needed to find out, he needed to re-enact the scene; just without the apple. He's doing it for an experiment, of course. Definitely, just for research purposes. He needed to know, needed to find out. Youngjae was determined and he would definitely get his answers. 

Just for the research.  

Really. 

  

That's how he had Junhong pushed against the wall, the maknae looking wide-eyed at him.  

"Junhong ah, let's play a game.."  

The maknae looked at him confusedly, tilting his head cutely to the side. "What game?" 

Youngjae laughed, "the apple game." The maknae started to squirm unconsciously, a pink rising up his cheeks. Junhong was probably thinking about that day on Weekly Idol. 

"Must we play it?" Junhong asked awkwardly. 

"It's for strengthening our bonds." Youngjae explained, giving an excuse that is slightly valid. He gave the younger a gentle smile, praying internally that the other would accept. He could see that the other was thinking hard, his eyebrows furrowing in concentration.

After a few more silent moments, Junhong nodded albeit hesitantly. A blush was once again rising on his cheeks, the maknae was nibbling on his lower lip; definitely shy. 

Youngjae grinned cheekily before he lurched forward, planting his lips onto Junhong's. He could feel the younger freeze but he kept his eyes closed, moving his lips gently against the maknae's frozen ones.

 Youngjae reached out to touch the other's waist, the other flinched and pushed him away. Junhong turned and ran.  

 

Well that went well, Youngjae couldn't help but feel hurt. The way the maknae pushed him off and the look on his face stabbed a knife through his heart. He left his room, seeing the living room empty. The maknae was nowhere in sight. 

 Youngjae sighed; perhaps he had ed up and now their relationship is probably ed as well.  

 

 

Junhong was avoiding him, it was pretty obvious. Though Youngjae did catch the maknae staring, Junhong immediately adverting his eyes when Youngjae looked over. The maknae would also always blush as well though he tried to hide it.  

"Junhong ah..." Youngjae called out. The younger was laying in his bed, using his phone.  

"Yes hyung?" Junhong turned around, eyes widening when he realised it was Youngjae. Youngjae smiled noticing the blush starting to rise on his face. Junhong sat up, fidgeting with his phone. He was looking down, avoiding the older's eyes.  

Youngjae sat beside the younger, he reached out to hold Junhong's cheek. The younger looked at him, red-faced. He was nibbling on his lips, shying away from Youngjae's touch.  

It felt suffocating, the thick tension in the air as the silence dragged on. Youngjae's eyes were glued on the younger while Junhong was looking at the bedsheets.  

"I'm sorry..." Youngjae started, taking the younger's chin. He tilted the maknae's face towards him, red still etched onto his cheeks. Youngjae looked at the younger, waiting for some form of reaction. 

"I-it's okay...i-i liked it.." Junhong stuttered out, blush reddening as he looked away. 

Youngjae felt the weight lift off his shoulder, thankful that he didn't officially up their relationship. But did he hear correctly?  

"So...you don't mind if I did it again?" Youngjae asked, waiting with bated breath. The maknae hesitantly nodded his head, slightly squirming under the other's gaze. Youngjae's heart leaped in his chest, honestly he wanted to kiss the other senseless but he held himself back; fearing that he might scare Junhong away.

Ever since their first kiss, Youngjae wanted to taste those lips again. And most importantly; his research and experiment, he still hasn't done any of it yet. He had a vague taste of the other, something akin to vanilla. Youngjae was addicted, just from that small kiss. That's all, the taste of the younger. Not to forget his experiment and research; he needed more.  

Youngjae brought himself forward, pressing his lips gently onto the other, Junhong froze before he relaxed into the kiss. Youngjae brought his hand around the other's waist, pulling him closer as he deepened the kiss, inhaling the taste of the younger.

Junhong slowly kissed back, not as sure as what to do as he mimicked the other's movements. They pulled apart, slightly panting for breath. Junhong had a deep blush on his cheeks, he was slightly cowering away; probably not expecting such an intense moment.  

Youngjae caressed the other's cheek before leaning in to place a peck on those delectable lips again. He was about to go on, starting his research before a knock on the door disrupted the moment.  

"Junhong ah, we have to get ready. Manager hyung is bringing us out for some food." Himchan shouted out.  

The maknae looked at him with shy eyes, smiling gently at him.  

"We should get ready.." The maknae moved off the bed, heading to his closet. Youngjae got up as well, headed to the door. 

 

 

They were sat in the van, headed off to a restaurant. For some reason, their manager was treating them; perhaps they have done well and they were given a treat. Nonetheless, they took it, it was free good food.  

Youngjae was sat in the middle row with his annoying of a friend; Daehyun beside him. Junhong sat in the back row, sadly. Youngjae wanted to keep the other close, for reasons he'd rather not say or maybe he was just in denial. He felt a weight on his shoulder, he turned to see Daehyun leaning on him; snuggling into his shoulder. 

Youngjae didn't think much of it, the other vocalist always so clingy to everyone, except maybe Yongguk...but that ain't the point. He jerked the other away, the other vocalist pouting before he clung even harder to him; Youngjae shook his head, leaving Daehyun to do whatever he wanted.  

The van reached the restaurant, Youngjae shrugged the still-clinging vocalist off, Daehyun finally letting go of him. They got off the van, making their way into the restaurant. The atmosphere was light, they were joking around amongst themselves.

 Youngjae looked back to the maknae walking behind him, Junhong was looking at the ground, slightly lagging behind. He turned back, wanting to walk with the maknae but Daehyun latched onto his arm once again; pulling him back towards the direction of the entrance. 

Youngjae wanted to shrug the other off but to no avail, the vocalist dragging him towards the restaurant; continuously talking about how much food he was going to order. 

 

He sat across Junhong, eyeing him as he played with his food. Youngjae's heart broke, seeing the other so sad all of a sudden. Did something happen? Was it something to do with him?  

"Youngjae?" He jolted, getting pulled out of his thoughts. He looked around, seeing all eyes on him even the maknae. He hasn't even realised he spaced out.  

"Are you...okay?" Daehyun continued asking, slight judgement in his eyes. Youngjae rolled his eyes,  

"I'm fine, just tired." He went back to eating his food, worry obvious in his eyes as he continued to look at the maknae.  

 

Youngjae watched as Junhong and Daehyun both touched the last dumpling on the plate with their chopsticks. They both weren't letting up, each holding on to one side of the dumpling.  

"Zelo ah, you're the maknae. You should give your hyung the last piece." Daehyun said, holding on tightly to the dumpling. 

Junhong looked slightly annoyed, still holding the dumpling tightly. The rest; even the manager looked at them with amusement but the both of them were not the least phased by the other. Youngjae looked between the two of them, the atmosphere was growing tense as the two stared each other down. 

"Just split it in half." Himchan spoke up, slightly impatient. The two still didn't let up, still glaring at each other.  

Junhong was being slightly weird today, normally he would give up the food to Daehyun considering he's such a nice maknae and just want his hyungs to be happy. Maybe he's tired of getting pushed around just because he's the youngest. But it still didn't seem like the younger to be this stubborn.

 Youngjae reached out, chopsticks clamping around the poor dumpling. He pried it out, the two finally releasing the stuffed dough albeit reluctantly.

The rest finally let out a relieved breath, the tension dissipating slowly. Youngjae felt really awkward glancing between the both of them while he still held on to the dumpling. He brought the dumpling over to Junhong, placing it in his plate as he gave him a gentle smile. Junhong smiled, beaming at him as he shoved the food into his mouth.  

Youngjae could feel the glare that the other vocalist was giving him but he was busy looking at the younger chew his food to care. The rest of the table just looked at the three of them weirdly.

After that eventful dinner, they piled back into the van. Again, Youngjae just wanted to sit beside the maknae but then Daehyun-that annoying of a friend-rushed to sit beside him again, pushing the maknae to sit beside him so now it was him and Junhong separated with Daehyun in the middle.  

Daehyun was once again clinging onto him for god knows what reason. Youngjae was growing increasingly frustrated with the other, Daehyun was either doing this on purpose or he's really just this annoying.

The ride back was pretty silent, some of them falling asleep like Junhong. Youngjae looked over to see the maknae with his head against the window, his head lolling to the van's movements.

Occasionally, the van would jerk and Junhong would bump his head against the glass. Daehyun was just nuzzling into his shoulder again. He stared out the window, unimpressed. He wanted to shove the other away but it was impossible, Daehyun was probably taking revenge for the dumpling incident.  

 

 

Youngjae went into the maknae's room, seeing him lying in bed, using his phone. 

"Junhong ah,"  

"Yes, hyung?" The younger looked at him puzzledly. 

Youngjae joined the other on the bed, bringing an arm around the other's waist. Junhong stiffened before he pulled away slightly, causing Youngjae to look at him confusedly.  

"What's wrong?" He asked.  

"Nothing..." The maknae was fidgeting slightly.  

"There is obviously something wrong, you've been weird for the entire evening." Youngjae said. 

"Erm...there's nothing wrong" Junhong answered, staring intensely at the bedsheets. 

"Why are you avoiding me then...did i do something wrong?" 

"No...it's just- never mind..." Junhong bit on his lower lip. Youngjae reached out to hold the younger's face. 

"You can tell me anything."  

Junhong took a deep breath, blurting out whatever is on his mind. "Do you even have feelings for me?"  

Youngjae was more or less, taken aback. He was not expecting this question at all, he looked wide-eyed at the other.  

"I..." 

"You don't actually do, do you..." Junhong mumbled as he looked at him, tears starting to fill his eyes. Youngjae looked at the maknae, he didn't know what to say. A huge part of him wanted to say he did in fact have feelings for him but a small, rational part of him was questioning whether he actually did. The silence dragged on, neither of them talking.  

Junhong was looking at him, a tear slipping down his cheek when Youngjae remained silent. He looked away,  

"I-I'm sorry...b-but you should l-leave..." Junhong muttered, bringing the blankets up over his head as he turned away from him.  

Youngjae felt a stab through his heart, he lifted his hand wanting to reach out for the other but he stopped himself. Youngjae got off the bed, his heart was aching more with each step he took. He turned back, looking at the bundle on the bed. Youngjae turned away, leaving the room.  

 

 

He felt sick, he felt his heart ache. It has been a week ever since what happened and Youngjae still felt horrible. He couldn't eat properly, he couldn't sleep properly. His mind plagued with Junhong; whether the other is still hurting, whether he's been sleeping and eating well. They lived in the dorm but it just feels like Junhong just disappeared.

He was almost always in his room, locked in there nearly the entire day. He comes out occasionally-for the bathroom, for the occasional schedule or to eat. Even when they sat to eat together, the maknae comes in later to eat. He didn't even eat much before he leaves to go back into his room. And the only thing Youngjae could do is to watch.  

Youngjae did question himself, he questioned himself every single ing day after that night; does he actually like the younger or was it lust that make him attracted to him. No matter, he hurt the younger and he hated himself for it.  

They were in the dance studio, practicing for their upcoming comeback. Junhong looked better than he did before though he still seemed soulless. Youngjae felt his heart clench, it never stopped actually.

The rest of the members could tell there was something wrong though they brushed it off, thinking that Junhong was being his angsty, teenager self. 

Daehyun was twirling around him, being touchy and feely for some goddamned reason, again. Youngjae couldn't be bothered honestly, his attention all on the maknae. They started practicing, Youngjae's eyes still on the maknae. He was so focused on the younger, he didn't notice that he had to turn and when he realised a step too late, he stumbled and crashed into Jongup making the both of them fall.

The music stopped, the rest of them snickering at their misfortune. Junhong looked at him before turning away. Youngjae's heart felt like it was getting ripped apart, he got up; not even feeling the pain in his knees. He guessed he deserved the cold shoulder after hurting the younger like that.

 Youngjae sighed, going back into position again. With that, practice just went on per normal though it was getting harder to breathe by the minute.  

 

 

Youngjae didn't know how to fix it, he really doesn't. He wanted to talk to the younger but the memory of Junhong turning away was etched in his mind. His heart was clenching, his mind was a jumbled mess. 

Youngjae wanted the younger, he finally ing figured it out. He was just drinking coffee and his heart finally gave a ing signal to his stupid brain. He has feelings for him and he was too dumb to even realise it. For 's sake, how is he going to resolve this. 

Youngjae felt water on his hair, he looked up, realising it started to rain. He was taking a breather, walking outside mindlessly. It was late at night around 12am so there weren't much people on the street. The sky seemed to want to make him suffer more, the rain growing heavier with each passing moment. Youngjae trudged his way back to the dorm, letting the rain beat down heavily on him.

He didn't give a anymore, the rain being a reflection of what he was feeling. He entered the dorm, wet to the bones. No one was up surprisingly, perhaps they were all too tired. 

Youngjae felt a warm trail on his face, he reached up only to realise he was crying. Has he been crying ever since it started to rain. He didn't ing know, he's pathetic and he can only blame himself for it. He went into his room and laid on his bed, not even bothering to change his clothes.  

 

 

"Youngjae! Youngjae! Wake up!" He was being shaken, his body was aching everywhere. He opened his eyes, his eyelids heavier than usual. His vision was blurry, his head was spinning and he felt so cold. He wants Junhong, 

He needs him. 

Youngjae focused his eyes on the person shaking him, his heart falling into an abyss when he meets eyes with Himchan. He wanted to see the maknae, he struggled to push himself up; wanting to rush out to find Junhong.

Himchan pushed him back down, saying things he didn't understand. He only wants Junhong, he wanted to hold him close, wanted to be able to taste the vanilla of his skin,

wanted to love him. 

 

Youngjae struggled but to no avail, he was too weak to push the other away.  

"-change- 

The elder helped him up, letting him lean against the headboard. He was given the clothes, the elder turning around so he could change. Youngjae was pretty weak but changing of clothes weren't that bad. He took a while but he was changed. He grunted, telling Himchan he was done.

The elder helped him up, bringing him to a chair; he needed to change the wet sheets. Youngjae was feeling dizzier the longer he sat there. Himchan was back again, helping him back onto the freshly made bed. The elder tucked him in, telling him he would be back with some meds.Youngjae drifted back to sleep, dreaming about the maknae taking care of him.  

Youngjae opened his eyes, he was shaken awake again. He hoped it was like his dream but he was met with disappointment once again. Daehyun was the one this time, he was helped up again. The other seemed to hold onto a bowl of something. 

Youngjae was fed, porridge of some sort, making its way down his parched throat. He honestly felt a lot better after eating something although he still had a headache. His heart still hurt, it was probably going to for a while. After eating, he swallowed the pills that Himchan bought and went back to sleep.  

Apparently his fever wasn't going down for some reason, he was once again sat up. Yongguk and Himchan were discussing something, standing beside his bed. It was already evening, how long did he knock out for... Yongguk turned towards him,  

"Youngjae ah, tomorrow you would be resting at home. You are too sick to continue practising, you need the rest."  

Youngjae wanted to protest but the leader looked at him sternly; reluctantly, he nodded. He was feeling really a lot better, he could eat on his own now. Though, he can't help but be disappointed that Junhong didn't come to see him. He probably deserved it, definitely.

 Youngjae was tired all of a sudden, that dull ache in his heart weighing him down. Thankfully he ate the pills, drowsy so that he could fall asleep faster to not feel the clenching of his heart.

 

 

Youngjae opened his eyes, his eyelids actually cooperating with him. He felt a weight on him, he looked down. Youngjae couldn't believe his eyes, this must be some sort of dream. Junhong was laying on him, snuggled on his chest. This definitely is a dream or was he in heaven...it didn't matter, he was going to cherish this moment. He took in how serene the younger looked, peacefully sleeping on him.

Junhong looked angelic, he always did but even more when he's sleeping. Youngjae honestly felt like some creep just staring at someone sleeping but he's going to take this chance to memorise the younger's features because he won't have any other opportunities.

Junhong started to stir awake and Youngjae took in every single detail; how he opens his eyes slowly, how his tongue darts out to at his dry lips, how he yawned, though turning his head away to somewhat cover his mouth.

Junhong looked up at him, eyes widening when they met eyes. A blush erupted on the younger's face as he pulled away. Youngjae wanted to pull the other back, it was a dream wasn't it... 

"H-hyung...are you f-feeling better?" The maknae asked in that soft, sweet voice of his. Youngjae continued staring at the other, the dream just felt so realistic. He brought up his hand to slap himself across the cheek. He winced, feeling the sting spread through his face.  

"Hyung! Why did you do that?" Junhong held onto his wrist, looking at him with concern. Youngjae just broke into a crazy laughter, the younger looked at him confusedly; probably wondering whether his brains were fried from the fever. 

Youngjae laughed before his emotions crashed down upon him, he threw himself-as best as he can with his still-sick body- onto the younger, he was cradling Junhong to his chest as he sobbed.

Junhong relaxed into the hug, letting Youngjae cling onto him. Youngjae couldn't believe that it wasn't a dream, he was so certain the maknae hated him. He finally calmed down, his sobs dying off after a while

"Hyung." Junhong mumbled, Youngjae's chest rumbling when he hummed back.  

"Y-you can let go now.." Upon hearing those words, Youngjae released the younger as if he was burnt. He was reminded of what had happened between the two of them, his eyes filling with tears again. 

"Hyung, why are you crying? Don't cry..." Junhong said, wide eyed looking at him as his hands wiped away the tears on the other's face. Youngjae couldn't help it, he placed his hands atop of the younger's, bringing them down as he held them tightly. 

"I'm sorry, Junhong...I'm so ing sorry. I deserve this pain for hurting you."  

"I should be the one being sorry, hyung. I knew you were in pain but I ignored you...i'm sorry, you don't deserve this." Junhong mumbled, looking down at their hands.  

"Junhong.." The aforementioned looked up, looking into his eyes.  

"I never told you this before but i do have feelings for you. I love the way you smile, i love your dimple that appears when you smile, i love how easily you get shy, i love how cute you are when you get excited, i love how you fall asleep so easily, i love every part about you and i never realised that." Youngjae confessed, pouring his heart into it, eyes still shining with unshed tears.

 Junhong was blushing by the end of his confession, averting his eyes away from him. Youngjae felt completed seeing the younger like that. Junhong pulled his hands away from the other, leaning forward to embrace him, hands winding around Youngjae's neck.  

"I-i never told this to you either but i like you a lot, hyung, so so much." Junhong whispered, burying his head into Youngjae's neck. The latter wrapped his arms around the younger's waist, pulling him in closer as they basked in each other's warmth. 

Youngjae felt his heart stop aching, it already did long ago when he saw Junhong but he felt the heavy weight lift off of him. His heart wasn't clenching anymore, he could breathe properly and all he could smell now is the sweet scent of vanilla.  

 

 

"I-i didn't like it when Daehyun hyung was being clingy..." 

"Oh, so our Junhonggie is jealous~"  

"H-he's a lot better person than me, more handsome, more outgoing- 

A kiss interrupted him. 

"My eyes are only on you, got it? No one else."  

Junhong nodded, red staining his cheeks. 

 

 

"Junhong ah, let's play a game." Youngjae said. They were laying on his bed, his arm was around the maknae, spooning him. Junhong turned around to face the other.  

"What game?" 

"The apple game."  

Junhong blushed, nodding his head. The older quickly turned, hovering above the younger as he gave him little pecks all over his face. Youngjae kissed him gently, the other's lips for entrance which the maknae gave, the sweet taste of Junhong; he couldn't get enough of it if he was to be honest.

Youngjae was caressing Junhong's side, the maknae always turning into putty in his hands. It always gives him a sense of protectiveness and satisfaction to see Junhong become docile under his soft touches, not that the maknae wasn't already. 

 

And as far as the research goes, Youngjae already got his answer...though it's classified information and no one he repeats

no one would find out what the answer is, except for him.

 

 

 

 

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Lmao i hope you like this oneshot, sorry for the growing angst; it wasn't actually supposed to happen but then it became like that so... Thanks for reading! XD