Jungkook wasn't good at playing pretend, he wasn't good at fooling himself. But he still liked to say he was getting over Lynn, somehow, maybe.

 

It's been a year since the girl broke up with him, and he wasn't sure how he managed to survive without seeing her or talking to her for such a long time.

 

To say that he never attempted to contact her would be the biggest lie of the century, but his self control has proved itself strong.  His heart, on the other hand, didn't.

 

And amidst trying to get over Lynn, Jungkook had sold their his apartment, quit his job for another one, frequented bars, his new coworkers didn't like him, he never gave a good first impression to begin with, but now he looked colder and more unapproachable even for himself.

 

He also became distance towards his family, -making his mother overly worried-, and overall just made his life miserable.

 

He never knew not having the girl around would make him into this person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Jungkook, baby," the woman said from the other line. "Are you really not coming anytime soon? We miss you."

 

Jungkook sighed, downing his second bottle of beer for the night, as he laid on the couch. "I don't feel like it mom. Maybe leave me the alone?"

 

"Jungkook," his mother hissed. "What has gotten into you? Since when do you speak to me like this?" She asked with a disappointed tone.

 

"Sorry." Jungkook muttered guilty, taking another sip from the bottle in his hand.

 

"What's wrong Jungkook? There must be something."

 

"There's nothing mom." Jungkook said with a low voice, trying not to sigh audibly into the phone. "Please don't worry."

 

"How can I not? My son isn't being himself and he won't even tell me what's up with him. Don't make me call Lynn and ask her what's wrong myself."

 

"NO!" Jungkook yelled, sitting upright and almost dropping the glass beer bottle. "Don't call Lynn." 

 

"Why?" Jungkook's mom whined. "I haven't talked to her in a while. I miss her."

 

I miss her too, Jungkook thought but bit his tongue to not let the words slip. "Well you can't call her."  He said instead.

 

"I am going to call her." The woman retorted stubbornly.

 

Jungkook  groaned. "Mom please. Just don't call her."

 

"Jungkook," the woman mumble, as though she was trying to process something. "Did you by any chance fight with Lynn? Or worse, break up with her? Please tell me you didn't. "

 

He sighed. "Mom."

 

"Please, Jungkook."

 

"I didn't mom! I didn't, okay?" He yelled, his hand harshly till his knuckles turned white. "I didn't mom," he muttered again, with  a small voice now. "She did."

 

"My goodness, Jungkook! What happened?"

 

"I messed up. I messed up big time. I got too greedy and didn't consider her feelings. Not like I knew, I'd never push her into something she doesn't want or refuse anything she wanted on purpose, but I was basically being a kid and thinking about myself only, I-"

 

"Breath Jungkook, breath." His mother said with a comforting voice. "This is not a discussion to make over the phone."

 

Jungkook sighed, feeling his stomach swirling. "Okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boarding the train to Busan, Jungkook dragged himself to a window seat, hood over his head and hands stuffed in his pockets. He rested his head on the window, trying to will himself to sleep and not overthink the current situation; the fact that he had to face his family when he wasn't ready for their confrontation yet, the fact that he was going to Busan alone after two years of having Lynn going with him.

 

Jungkook cursed himself for letting his thought wonder back to the girl. But it was hard not to do so when they dated for years, when she was always by his side. Everything reminds him of her, even after trying to escape by moving and changing his job. He still see her in the passenger seat of his car, still types her number when he is supposed to call his co-worker, still dreams of her every single night.

 

The man shook his head in hopes to get rid of the girl's picture from his head. Closing his eyes and deciding to just sleep the thoughts away.

 

But he knew at the back of his head, that he will be seeing the girl again in his dreams.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was Jungkook's brother, Junghyun, who was waiting for him at the train station. The sibling smiled at the sight of his younger brother, but his smile flattered more and more as Jungkook got closer to him.

 

"Where's Lynn?" Junghyun asked in concern, his eyes wondering around Jungkook in search for the missing girl.

 

Jungkook averted his eyes from his brother, biting his bottom lip nervously. "She didn't come."

 

"What do you mean she didn't come? She always comes with you." His brother exclaimed in bewilderment. "Did something bad happen?"

 

"Th-the thing is th-that," Jungkook sighed, unable to tell his brother he broke up with his girlfriend of two years when the older looked to be terrified of what Jungkook would tell him. "Can't we leave this for when we get home?"

 

"So something did happen. Nothing bad happened to Lynn, she's fine, right?"

 

Junghyun sighed in relief when Jungkook agreed as they both walked to the former's car. "I am glad she's okay." Junghyun mumbled and Jungkook awkwardly agreed. But after taking two steps, the latter realized that his brother wasn't following him. Jungkook turned around to find Junghyun staring at him coldly. "Don't ing tell me you broke up."

 

"W-what?" Jungkook made a face in distaste at the words.

 

"You ing did." Junghyun yelled, and before Jungkook could do anything his brother had already punched him so hard he almost stumbled over.

 

"What the ?" Jungkook shrieked. "What the was that for?"

 

"Don't ing tell me you don't deserve it. Lynn was too good to you, I am sure you broke up because you were such a ing jerk." His brother spat, leaving him behind as he went over and got into his car.

 

Jungkook groaned, attempting to follow behind his brother, But Junghyun was already starting the car and driving away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jungkook cursed under his breath as he finally reached home. Paying the taxi driver after he was forced to get a taxi since his brother left him alone. The man approached the house door quietly, afraid of what's to come once he opens the said door. Would his brother beat him up? Would his father cast him a disappointed look and not even talk to him? Or would they be open to listen, like his mother seemed to be?

 

The door suddenly opened and Jungkook raised his head in shock, only to find his mother staring back at him. "I heard the car driving off, and you didn't seem to be going to enter any time soon."

 

"I was going to come in." He muttered, walking past his mother and into the house. He silently took his shoes off before slowly going to the living room. Jungkook's blood turned cold when he found both his father and brother already in the living room, silently watching him as he entered while his mother followed behind him. Jungkook sat on an empty couch, facing his dad yet keeping his eyes away from falling on him.

 

"Junghyun, I thought his face would look worse." His father finally said, and Junghyun chuckled. "Should I go for another punch?"

 

"Maybe you should hear me out first?" Jungkook suggested sarcastically, and Junghyun rolled his eyes.

 

"Yeah. Let's listen to him first." His mother said and Jungkook sighed in relief. "Yes, thank you."

 

But as Jungkook started telling them about everything that lead to his and Lynn' s break up, he realized that this would just make it worse for him. And if Junghyun punched him just at the fact that Lynn and him had broke up then he believed that with this his father might as well beat him up. And from the look on the old man's face, that possibility didn't seem far fetched.

 

"I am glad Lynn broke up with you." His father was the first one to speak since Jungkook finished explaining the situation to them.

 

"W-what?" Jungkook frowned, this wasn't what he expected his father's first reaction to be, and he honestly didn't know if this was better or worse.

 

"I mean you're obviously a child, who isn't mature enough to be in an adult relationship." His father chuckled humorlessly. "This isn't how I raised you to be."

 

Jungkook breathed in disbelief, turning to his mother and casting her a desperate look. "Honey, that's too harsh." His mother whispered to her husband, gently putting her hand over his.

 

"How so? I only said how it is. Couldn't you see how immature and selfish your son was being? He was behaving like such a spoiled brat."

 

"Whose fault is that?" Jungkook muttered under his breath in distaste and his mother glared at him.

 

"No, he's right. It's our fault that he has the mentality of a kid rather than a 26 years old man."

 

"I could have been way worse as a boyfriend. Plus, I didn't realize I was being selfish, if I saw how things were clearly, I wouldn't have been behaving like that. I didn't want Lynn to leave me more than you all do."

 

"You do know that giving yourself excuses right now is selfish in itself." His dad informed. "And you shouldn't be saying how you could have been worse but rather how you could have been better. That's the only way to improve yourself. And believe me son, if you weren't too into your bubble you would have seen how things were since the beginning. You have  dated for 2 years after all. So think of how much Lynn was hurting while you were too blind to see."

 

"But I am hurting now too." Jungkook tried not to pout but he couldn't stop the whining tone that laced his words.

 

"I am sure Lynn was hurt way more." His mother said. "I know how much that girl loved you, and for her to break up with you on her own means that it was killing her."

 

Jungkook bit his bottom lip, feeling his eyes getting teary at the thought of how much he hurt his ex girlfriend and at the memory of their break up, feeling the ghost of her comforting last hug that she was willing to give him even after all of that.

 

"I wish I was better to her."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After dinner, Jungkook went up to what used to be his room and also the room he usually shares with Lynn whenever they come over. He went straight to the balcony, to avoid looking around the room and see Lynn's stuff scattered around and the rather small bed that they always have to squeeze in together. The man sadly found no solace being in the balcony either, since it was a place he and Lynn used to stay in and chat the night away.

 

Jungkook groaned at the rush of bad feelings consuming him, and before he decides to go back inside Junghyun joined him. "Here you were."

 

"You were looking for me?" Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow. "Am I getting that punch now?"

 

Junghyun chuckled. "Sorry about that. I don't even know how I punched you. It was an impulse reaction, I guess I like Lynn that much."

 

Jungkook tried to mirror his brother's smile or laugh at his attempt of lightning the mood, but he failed. Junghyun pressed his lips at the uneasy look in his younger brother's face. "I wanted to talk to you. About this whole thing, since I didn't get the chance to do earlier. Especially with how dad was being."

 

"Yeah, I noticed that you were rather silent. I expected you to lash out."

 

"Dad was already going all out. But I actually don't agree with what he said entirely, and neither with Lynn."

 

"Huh?" Jungkook breathed in confusion.

 

"Just as you heard it. As your brother, I feel like I know you more than Lynn and as a married man I believe that I know about women of our day more than dad. So with these two things combined, I am seeing things in a different light than them."

 

"Enlighten me then." Jungkook grinned smugly at his pun and his brother smacked his head.

 

"Well you see, dad and Lynn both pointed out the same thing in you. And that's how selfish you were. The difference between them is what they thing the cause of this selfishness is. While dad think you were being like that because of how spoiled you are and how you behave like a man-child. Lynn didn't see it like that, but rather she believed you were behaving like that because of your lack of love to her, and was afraid that you're falling out of love with her while she was falling more and more for you. But that's not the case, now is it?"

 

"Of course not." Jungkook exclaimed.

 

"I know. And I also know how much you loved Lynn and still do. You said you'd never date, that commitment was such a hustle, that you'd never find someone you can tolerate. But when it came to Lynn,  you didn't  question anything, heck you two moved in together after just few months of dating. And the fact that you're this hurt and wrecked after your break up just proves my point more."

 

"But Lynn didn't think like that. And I don't blame her, it's not her fault that she didn't feel my love for her."

 

"Yeah, I told you. It's all a misconception. You were acting selfish and spoiled because that's how you are with us, It's in your personality. And you were treating Lynn how you treat family. While Lynn is also the youngest in her family and spoiled but they have such a big family that she is used to giving, plus it seems that it's her nature to put people before her."

 

"Are you doing all of this just so you show me how much of a little I am and how good of a person Lynn is? Cause I already know all of that."

 

"Just follow with me, Jungkook. I am trying to say that no one of you is free of guilt in this. Lynn's nature and yours made her think that she was the only one trying in the relationship. But in reality you both weren't. For your relationship to work, you both have to change to compensate each other. And since there's still love between you two, I am sure you can do that."

 

"What kind of change though?"

 

"Well for instance, you should stop acting like Lynn is mom or dad, cause she isn't. She isn't expected to do everything you want so you shouldn't be expecting that from her. She's younger than you and has her own life to worry about, so don't be another burden on her. While she needs to speak out for herself, demand things clearly when she wants them. I am sure if she whined to you for more than a second or if she asked for something twice you wouldn't be able to say no. She also needs to tell you when she doesn't like something you did, and so do you. That's the only way the two of you can be better to each other."

 

"Wow."

 

Junghyun raised his eyebrow in question at his brother. "What?"

 

"I didn't know you were that wise." Jungkook muttered in disbelief.

 

"I am a married man. You become mature when responsibility is forced on you."

 

"It wasn't forced. You chose to get married." Jungkook voiced and Junghyun winked at him. "You aren't bad yourself."

 

"I learnt from the best." And if Junghyun thought Jungkook meant him then he was wrong, because he meant Lynn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jungkook went back to Seoul after spending a week with his family. His mother went back to normal instantly while his dad took a while but eventually cooled off too. Junghyun has brought his wife over multiple times and Jungkook was glad that he made an opportunity for the whole family to meet, even tho Lynn's absence was felt more than it was mentioned.

 

But before he knew it, the man was sitting at his desk, trying to get by another work day. He didn't know what he was going to do with Lynn anymore. At first, and upon the realization that Junghyun had blessed him with, Jungkook was ecstatic, thinking everything will be fixed after this. But being back in Seoul, alone with his thoughts, Jungkook realized that things can't be fixed that easily, heck talking to Lynn alone wasn't that easy. He wasn't even sure if she still used her old American number.

 

Jungkook dialed said number, deciding that it was worth the shot. But after half an hour, He was still staring at his phone with no sign of hitting the call button.

 

"Does staring at a foreign number answer life's questions?" A voice came from beside Jungkook and he jumped.

 

"What the ?" He shrieked.

 

"Well hi to you too." One of his co-workers, that he didn't attempt to memorize their names, said with a grin and Jungkook furrow his eyebrows.

 

"Hi." Jungkook muttered in an hesitant tone.

 

"So really, what's the deal with that number?" The man questioned with a confused tone, leaning on the wall of Jungkook's cubicle. Jungkook raised his eyebrow at the latter's friendly behaviour.

 

"I was just trying to dec