Universe(Chinese version)

Universe Special Gift

EXO-L POV

Back pressed against the back seat of an old rusty taxi, we sit as far from each other as possible. Neon lights from the city of madness, silhouettes of walking matchsticks and a cacophony of horns; behind the foggy windows, I think I just turned our love story into a tragedy.

We in each other's scent in unmatched breaths, driving ourselves crazy with the silence. Unspoken words that slowly strangle all emotions, leaving behind rage and passion pulsing in your veins. But our love is of the crazy kind; my messed up hair and your hand on my thigh foretell the end of the night.

In this world, people fall in love in coffee shops and in parks. They carry their stories like acts of courage, showcasing the purest of all emotions like a trophy. And when too much dust collects on it, they strut to another coffee shop, weave another story and turn it into another trophy... But baby, our love took birth like Autumn; with the goodbye of a season, falling leaves and flipping pages. It was slow and precise, a cut deep enough to last through the afterlife. It's never been a piece of accessory for the world to see but rather an evening primrose shyly blooming away from the sun's eyes.

From the corner of my eye, your perfectly sculpted face illuminates. There is nothing more beautiful than your eyes looking into mine with your hand in my hair, turning us into living art. The colors of your childhood, smooth and nostalgic like poetry, painted my world when mine had yet to end. Now we share the same memories of the grownup days, the kind that turns cheeks red and dreams w-

The car pulls to a stop at the red light. Outside, snowflakes fill the whole scene with magic. Yes, we've had a lot of winters in our quest for peace... and I'm probably the only one who has yet to feel the heat of the summer. I agree that I've stubbornly surpassed all limits, testing you over and over again. And now that the results are not too good, I admit that I hide behind illusions. But if you face me long enough, maybe you'll hear the voices too... or see the shadows creeping behind your back.

In your mind, something tells you that things are not as they seem but you wouldn't see the truth even if it was right in front of you. To you, my smile means everything's fine and like the others, you don't question the midnight trips to the basement or the empty bottles under the bed. You're not there most of the time so I don't have to worry about you finding out all the horrible things I've done. In your eyes, we live a fairytale that will last no matter what. But oppa, even in fairy tales, there is an end. How will you bear it when it slaps you across the face or knocks the wind out of your lungs? Will you lose your faith in happiness and love? Or will you find it in a bar, on a Saturday night, and lead it to your bed?

Your hand moves up, fingers gently brushing skin as if you were painting a masterpiece. The cold has nothing to do with the goosebumps or the light tremble of my lips. No, you're the type of god who doesn't need spells and potions to lure me in. One of your smiles will be convincing enough for me to go against an army. But even if I can see that it is you who is touching me, honey, all I feel is cold fire. It gently brushes the feathers of my demon's wings and baby, fire is what hell's pets feed on.

"You're mine, EXO-L." you whisper to my lips, the faintest kiss and the most intense of ecstasy.

Your eyes glow with lust and passion. But if one would pay close enough attention, they would see the flames of affection and concern in your heart, flames that bear my name. I made you weak, the idolized devil hidden behind angelic features, whose face only appears in prestigious magazines. They call out your name, hoping to get your attention, but wherever you go and whoever you meet, we all know that I'm the one you always return to. Have you ever thought about me being gone?

"What if I disappear?"

Your gaze grows cold and your face reminds me of the ocean's depths. I'm adding fuel to the sparks, aware that these moments will walk with you on rainy days. Because I know, I know that I will stubbornly refuse to ask you to stay to share my darkness. Instead, I will strip you of your smile and watch the fire disappear.

You see, I'm already no longer myself. From the six-inch heels and overly powdered face, none of it is who I really feel in the inside. The smile on my face, behind a cluttered desk, is one hiding several tears that you'll never know of. You think I'm fine, better even, because I've stopped crying every time you come home. The truth is it never occurred to you that tears don't always come from flooding eyes.

But even if I can't look at myself in the mirror anymore, you are the reason I'm happy. With you, there is no reason to plead for the sun's rays or the moon's glow. All I have to do is ignore the dark clouds that wait patiently in the background. But I'd rather be submerged in darkness than let you lose your brightness.

"I'll search the universe until I can finally touch you again... To cradle you against my chest, that alone is worth waiting forever for... The world will only show color again when you return..."

The words resonate at the back of my head as we merge in more than one way. Are they really your own or am I making this up? We share the same dreams and hopes, the only problem is that you have yet to give up on them. One day, you will realize that I only exist in this little planet lights away from Earth, floating on my own, without leaving a single trace and when I'm gone, it will be as if I was never even there...

But I hesitate as we stumble out of the car. Your hand is on my waist and the scent of your cologne engulfs me; things so familiar to my soul that I could track you in any crowd. These little treasures make me rethink my decision; I guess it's because I'm still scared. After all, who will I embrace at night if I lose all traces of you tomorrow? I can't imagine anyone else to count the stars with when the weight of life pushes the need to sleep away. Crazy since I love you, I wonder if I can be selfish and stay. But it's because of such thoughts that the seasons have lingered behind while we were trying to collect ourselves. Yes, we fight but I know that the type of sword my tongue is has left you bleeding on the way to the airport. You may hide it as best as you can but I will still feel the scars from all the times I've pushed you away...

I watch your reflection as you pull out your purse to pay the impatient driver. In your arms, I feel safe but this sense of security disappears once I catch sight of our reflection on the window. I don't remember smiling but there are my lips, stretched out from ear to ear. And my eyes are viciously tainted with carmine swirls... bloodthirsty, to me. I wonder why. But then you bend slightly, to take a closer look at the guy and I take note of my arm stretched out behind you, a knife at the end of it. The blade has my own reflection as if it was merely just an extension of myself. And I watch, unable to react, as it strikes down, rippling a gut-churning scream out of you. The jet of blood that splashes around, glowing like a thin rain of ruby, and the taxi driver is looking at me, horror carved on his face. I watch the blood pool around you, your confused eyes accusing me as they struggle to stay open. Shall I run? Shall I stay? Shall I-

"Babe, let's get in now!" I hear you say but your voice is, against all expectation, a low murmur to my earlobe. You pull me away but I can't shake off the image. Only a question remains as my hits the white sheets, "How long until it finally happens?"

***

Dear lover, who never leaves my mind. 
You might not believe it but I swear I've tried. 
Thank you for accepting this girl, the selfish kind, 
And forgive me if tomorrow I'm not by your side.
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Thank you!
Exol_Writer
Our fate lies
in the hands
of the things we love
and sometimes
the things we love
are the things
that lead us
to the fatal destruction
of ourselves.

-R.M Drake, Black Butterfly

Comments

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amona9 #1
Hi Al, where are you :(
St-renaissance
#2
Chapter 2: Liking this so far
Syira_Suho #3
Chapter 20: Stay strong okayy dear author....
Krismewolf
#4
Chapter 1: Oh gosh, if I could write like you do, to use words so beautifully, I would never stop writing!! unfortunately I'm not that talented T__T I just started reading this story (because of Suho on the poster ) but wanted to write a comment because I want to thank you! I hope that your story gets even more subscribers and comments! ♡♡
Syira_Suho #5
Chapter 15: Such an amazing story *wipe tears*
amona9 #6
Chapter 15: OMG !! i just finally have time to read it and it's really amazing huhuhuh !! Thanks for the beautiful works ily !! i may not be your first reader but i'll make sure to read whatever you write !! fighting bb you are doing great i'll always cheer for you !!!
lucidhoney10
#7
Chapter 15: Can you imagine how to life without them? Because I still refuse to think of it...
I don't want to let go even when I know someday I have to...
This makes me emotional :'