EXO POV

Do you remember those days of complete carelessness, when we couldn't take our eyes off of the other without a hole taking shape in our chest? The autumn wind blowing in your silky hair and that laugh of yours floating towards the candy-colored horizon as we first started to scribble down our memories. Deep inside, it all felt too surreal for me; from the warmth of your hands to those sparkling eyes, drowning me deep in ecstasy. Two souls budding from different branches of the same baby tree only to be carried towards the same future by the same wind. They cursed our generation but that was why we could embrace each other like Lego pieces.

Does it ever cross your mind how silly we looked with our matching shirts, screaming at the night sky? Not a day goes by without me remembering the soft glow of the moon reflecting on your earrings, the first night we sealed away our victory with hungry lips. The radiance of your face only glows more in my memories, locking me in the endless labyrinth of my dreams. And that mesmerizing voice of yours has me running away from the exit; we both know that time only tightens the ropes you have around me.

I push open the little windows giving onto that road only you and I know. The sight welcomes me with puffs of dust and coffee stains on a Saturday afternoon at the bottom of my bed. By now, the pillows and sheets have lost your scent and warmth. So at night, I find myself holding onto the red scarf you left in my car, the one I gave you for Christmas. It was a time when you would swirl under the moonlight, capturing me with a perfect smile. Now, all I know are your red eyes and pale skin. Even your touch, to which I would wake up in the morning, is a distant memory... The night slips away with me dreaming of your fingers on my face, just like in the old good days.

My mind is filled with memories of our little fights over cookies and our silly competitions at the karaoke club. They follow me around instead of my shadow and suddenly, when I least expect it, bang... Don't you see that band-aids won't cure this type of wound, babe?

So here we are again, back pressed against the same door but facing different Norths. When we lost each other on the way, I don't know. I just wish that I would finally reach the end of the road, the one leading to you.

This time again, we parted ways with the bathroom door closing on me, fully knowing that sunrise might come before you decide to step out again. One day, I dread it, the door will be closed forever and I don't think I have the key to barge in...

You tell me you don't want to see me but your nails were buried in my arms as I held the doorknob. I'm tired of all the lies you tell me and mostly, yourself. Quit saying that you're okay, that it will pass on its own because the weeks have been piling up on the calendar. Let me help you, will you!

You and I trail at our feet a reputation too heavy with past crimes, the type that can't be denied. The little kids on the yellowed polaroids we hide look nothing like the lifeless mass of bones and flesh that stare back in the mirror. You were the girl hiding behind books and I was the boy with his head in the clouds. Now, pages carry your name and my head has since long reached the galaxy. Rumors and stress bury us neck-deep on a daily basis, for the drama can't get enough of our names. We fight on a battlefield for a war that never dies. But I remember you telling me that we'd face it all with our heads held high. You believed it all along babe so why do I now see your eyes cast down...

The world has quietened outside but my ears are still filled with your sobs. I know how hard breathing is as you fight away the persistent tears. Hide into me though, I promise we can make it all pass away.

Instead, we sit on the cold hard floor, wishing we could feel the other's warmth. Honestly, I miss the times when you would laugh at my jokes, even those that were not funny. I recall the times you would look at me with eyes as bright as the morning star, making me feel like the luckiest man on earth... Where are the evenings when we would sing at the top of our lungs, dancing in the kitchen while the food burned away? When will I hear you say my name again, seducing me in the middle of a round of scrabble?

Now, I cannot reach you from where we stand. This absence of yours, whenever you look into my eyes, is far more unbearable than all the pain I've ever felt before... It feels crueler than all the deceptions I've ever had.

"EXO-L?"

Behind that door, you pretend like you don't hear me but I know it's a lie. What have I done to deserve that you no longer let people know that you belong to me? Can I still call myself King of your heart? Tell me, I beg through my tears, but the actual words never make it past my lips.

"Baby, let me in... Please."

Silence greets me long enough for me to forget what I had even asked you. But eventually, the door cracks open and you crawl towards me. Your hesitant hug breaks my heart because I can't understand what has made everything suddenly change. Why are you crying in my arms this time? Why wouldn't you tell me?

As much as I'm dying to know, I force my lips closed, in fear that you might push me back again. So my hand goes up and down your cold arm, and my chin rests on your head. There is nothing more I can do but hum away the pain as you shiver in my arms.

"It's okay," I say quietly, once your breathing has evened out. "Morning will come again so you can dream in my arms. Let me turn off the light today..."

You don't reply but the way you bury your head in my chest lets me know that you heard. This moment brings some relief and makes me want to hold on forever. But how long will it last? I bury the moment in my brain, fearing that the next time I'd have this chance may never come.

"I am here, EXO-L. You can forget everything."