EXO-L POV

Rain came pouring in again, unexpected. It brought with it the wind and thunder but all it left behind was the shell of my soul. Why do I still get surprised, I ask myself as the cold pulls me to it like an old friend.

The white dress I am wearing covers me like a second layer of skin but I feel , and fragile in front of the world. Maybe if I don't move, it will forget about me.

The ground is hard against my back and as my fingers bury themselves into the mud, I find myself unable to move. Is it holding me down or is my lack of hope the culprit? How long will it last this time? Probably longer, longer than the previous times.

Every drop of rain falls down on me, a curtain of bullets leaving no place to hide. And each one of them buries itself deep until I can't really tell where they are. With each cut comes a new pain, a new fear. With each shot of pain comes a new reason to stay down.

"It's gonna pass," I tell myself, not really believing it. Because how long will it take for everything to come back? What if it never stops?

Somewhere, at the back of my mind, like a little mouse coming out of its hiding, a thought appears. The hair at the back of my neck straightens, on alert, for it is the first time this thought has ever slipped in. It crawls out, timidly at first, before completely drowning me into a swirl of mixed emotions. I'm confused, relieved, pained, tensed, anxious, filled with guilt... But mostly, scared.

You know how to end this. You know you do.

The words fall on me like buildings crashing down and they flatten all sense of rationality. I'm scared because if such thoughts have invaded my mind, everything must be lost. If deep down I've started to agree with what the voices say, no hope must be left... am I really stuck?

I feel like crying but the tears won't come. Why would they when I don't even know what I'm actually crying for? Am I sad for being trapped or have I grown acquainted to the dark? Am I happy that I have finally found a way out or am I scared of taking that way? What should I do?

All of a sudden, amidst all the ruckus of the crying sky, I hear a familiar roar. Curiosity and surprise give me enough strength to pull myself half up but around me is nothing. It is too dark for me to make out any shape nor are there any star to reassure me. My mind tells me that the world expands itself infinitely all around but my eyes tell me that I am caged like a bird. I'm too scared to look for the truth... But the roar; it seems to be calling out to me. It intrigues me, stirring a totally new emotion.

"Hello?" I called out hesitantly, forcing myself to stand up. "Is anybody there?"

The two sticks that I usually use as feet feel like noodles as they shake underneath me. Is it because of exhaustion or fear? I don't know but I don't like it at all either.

Halfway through my physical struggle, I'm blinded by an intense flash of white light that urges a scream out of me. I turn my back to it completely, eyes on fire. But a few blinks later, I can finally see again.

A muddy road stretches itself ahead of me, disappearing into more darkness. From where I am, I can see tall bare trees and a couple of puddles which tell me that I am literally in the middle of nowhere. How did I end up there?

The light dims considerably and I dare myself to take a hundred and eighty turn once more. But what I see through the gaps of my fingers actually shocks me; a couple of metres ahead there is a white car that I do not recognise. The inside of it is lit up as well and I make out four silhouettes. But the condensed glass makes it hard to see more details other than the color of the people's outfits. The driver is in white and so is the passenger... or is he wearing cream? I can't really tell from where I am. At the back, they wear darker tones; one is in orange and the other is in black. All four of them seem to have their attention completely fixed on me because I don't see them move at all.

As the seconds stretch, my feelings of fear redouble. This time, it is not of the pain that I am scared of but, rather, this unexpected company. I want to ask them for help but they seem interested in watching me only and not in helping. Will they reach out their hands if I reach mine first?

Doubt never leaves me as I raise my other hand and take a step towards them. How should I act? What shall I say? It is all so confusing!

"Hi, I'm EXO-L." I say, my voice cracking slightly. "Can you help me out of here, please?"

The car roars louder in response, nearly making me jump out of my skin. But I tell myself not to despair when I finally see the driver move.

My eyes follow the arm that shoots outside, holding a rectangular sheet of cardboard that I know all too well. The sight of it has me gulping in fear but I can't seem to uproot my feet. It all becomes clear to me now and I know what I have to do; run. But my legs wouldn't move an inch no matter how much a part of me would be screaming in my head.

The piece of cardboard is thrown carelessly to the sky, where it lets itself be carried away by the wind. While my gaze never leaves it, my mind is suddenly filled with the roaring of the engine, which seems to be increasing in volume more and more. I think nothing of it though; as if I was entranced, shall I say. I watch as the cardboard moves right then down, followed by left and up again, swirling above my head. And then, it is falling right in front of me. It falls and falls, disappearing in the flash of light. There is nowhere to run nor any time to do so as it engulfs me in its embrace, only letting me close my eyes in preparation.

My last thought as I wait for the impact is about how I wished I had held tighter onto that piece of cardboard, that image of us that I wanted to protect at all cost... with all my heart.