This Life
A FarewellI'm crying a lot these days because of you. There's no burning of eyelids, tears just flow out without my permission. I sometimes wonder if you really wanted to drop off your attempt in the last moment and changed your mind and then it became too late. Seems like you hated us a lot to not even wanting to look at us anymore. You hate us, don't you? Guess what, we LOVE you...Jonghyun, we LOVE you....WE LOVE YOUR MEMBERS TOO....When you killed yourself, you thought you wiped off your sadness. No, Jonghyun, no. You just made us carry your sadness that is tenfold in amount. It hurts a lot, knowing you'd never know how much of impact you have on us. I smile, laugh, forget you...but there won't go a day without me thinking, "You could have lived a little while more"
To you, we were someone who didn't know the "real" you. But for us, you were a person who was too hard on himself and didn't want to show your beautiful side to us.
If you were to ever appear before me, I would say. "Not all people love you, same way, not all people hate you, Jonghyun-ah...."I wish i was there for you. If I had known you, I wouldn't have left my friend to die like that. I would have stalked you, made you live with me, and treat you until that damn depression gets out of your system. I'm not even bragging but I have been many people's listening ear and I know how few kind words from someone could make a whole a lot difference.
Even after your demise, people still bash others for petty things.
This life, was too filthy for your angel like character, honey.
When I see other groups being happy, I want my SHINee and shawols to be happy too. Everyone deserves happiness!
Comments