Miles Away Yet Close

A Farewell

Dear Jonghyunah,
I attended the memorial at my country yesterday, I cried to my heart's content with my fellow co shawols. Honestly I felt little lighter at that moment. But here I am again, back to the place where I still can't believe you're gone. That pain that burns inside me where no one can't put a stop. I miss you so badly. It's okay though.

This pain, it's unbearable. I'm not even a kpopper, I'm just a shawol, a person who lived with the five of you all the days of the week, every hour. Miles away yet closer to you. I felt like I grew up with you though I joined the fandom like in 2014. Though it hurts I never ever regret becoming your fan.

I love you so dearly, you have been with me when I had no friends,when I was being pressed down by my own parents. Listening to you, I felt like I'm listening to a therapist. Listening to your songs healed my heart, sometimes it helped me to let me out. let all the pain out. And I promise you I will cherish them forever. Of course, how can I live otherwise, without those music which is my personal chamber of healing? My jonghyunnie, you are irreplaceable. days ago it hurt me to listen to your songs again, but today I was able to listen to white tshirt, crazy, mono drama and most importantly at the end of day. I'm so happy that they are still there to heal my heart.

I'm forever regretful. Those days I kept bombarding Kibummie's and Jinki's IG but I couldn't do it for you. I will regret it forever Jonghyunah. But, do you see now? you're at a higher state now? do you see this person, who's far away from korea, who has never seen SHINee, but who lives because of SHINee? yes, my jonghyunnie, you are forever my life support. at the most baddest days and the most happiest days you always hug me. you will always do that? because you're immortal down here. your music is immortal. I'm sorry that many didn't get it, that many didn't understand you. But you saved many lives from depression. You were a caring advisor, and also your music is always touching our hearts. the deepest points are touched.


Jonghyunah, you did more than well. still you do more than well. Jonghyunah, don't worry about Sodam unnie and emmonim. ok? Kibummie already said that he will take care of them like his own. and Jinki, Minho and Taemin will do the same. And I promise you, we will take care of your brothers. we will make sure that they feel loved and wanted. I'm sorry that we were too late for you. I love you a lot Jonghyunah, I'm sorry I didn't tell it to you like I was supposed to. SHINee is always my family. I will forever cherish you FIVE.

And I believe you will wait up there for us. that you are watching over us. Please be careful up there. and find your happiness. heal your mind. Become free. and again I don't want to be a burden by saying wait for us. but I believe we are supposed to meet somehow. when we meet again, I swear , the first thing I would do is wrapping you in a warm hug. Take care, I love you forever my kid. Until the next time,take care.

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AIMRWV
Trying to advertise this for the 18th but someone else is bidding really hard so I am running out of karma (already bought more for over 30dollars) so if you have some spare you are willing to donate, I would be really thankful.

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Redofthedawn
#1
I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.
luv_kero
2415 streak #2
Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3
Viola_Ella #3
Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.
Evelyn_64
#4
It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.



Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.
OdetteSwan
909 streak #5
I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.
OdetteSwan
909 streak #6
Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.
Redofthedawn
#7
Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️
lovelyfeisty
#8
It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.
wonpokemon
#9
i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.
aseulmonsta
#10
❤️