I Still Have Tears To Drop

Dearest JongHyunie,

Don’t know where to begin because I wanna say so many things, so bear with my lack of words would you?. I really don’t know how to say goodbye to you my heart aches so much and I don’t know if I’m selfish only because I don’t want to say goodbye.

Since I get into Kpop SHINee instantly became my favorite group, the sparkly personality of you five got me since I first saw you; Your honey voice was/is always a calming chant to my heart.

Dj Jjong enchanted my soul every midnight and trough your voice I found peace in my darkest times; when the news broke at first I was mad at you thinking “why this beautiful soul that healed so many hearts couldn’t heal his? How could he leave us in so much pain and sorrow?” But then I realize that your choice was meant to found your own peace and how selfish my question was.

How little you knew, JongHyunnie, how loved you are, how little you knew how many wounds your music healed and how little we knew how broken you felt. I’m so sorry, we couldn’t reach your wounds to heal you, even when we are far apart, the path you choose we most accept. Isn’t gonna be easy isn’t gonna be soon, but we will do it because you teach us that is ok to cry and to feel sad; but through your music and your honey voice you teach us how to heal.

So I’m here trying to resume in a “few” words my love for you and it’s hard cuz there’s so much I need to say and so little space to share, let me cry more it’s been 3 days and I still have tears to drop; but I promise you that I’ll be fine the scar will forever remain, my love for you will forever be and I’ll wait until we meet again.
In your own words, I think “It must be autumn to be excited for nothing
It’s probably a greeting that doesn’t really mean anything to you
It must be autumn to be upset for nothing
It’s probably a phone call you made at a sudden thought / To fall apart so easily, a phone call that rang quietly”.
When we meet again it’s gotta feel like autumn cuz Is colored, as well as my heart and Maybe because you came deeply into my heart.

So goodbye, my dearest JongHyunnie cuz the love belt we share will remain and at the end of the day we will see how your Love remains in your songs. we will show you how hard you work healing us through it and you will never be lonely anymore.

My soul healer, my honey voice, my favorite Dj I’m sorry cuz we meet too late but in so little time you did so much to my heart; I love you and you never do nothing wrong you did extremely well, you work hard JongHyunnie and now it’s time for you to rest and for us to embrace all the word you did.
Thank you for saved me from my own demons, I’ll word hard to not disappoint you.

Bye my dearest JongHyun, until we meet again~

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Redofthedawn #1 Aug 7, 2023 07:53:21

I'm aware that it isn't December but I just thought of this post. December will never be easy for a lot of us. I'm more aware of my depression around that time. I just became an adult and the realization that a lot can change has finally hit me. I'm not sure how to feel. People within my family have died or are dying and it seems like the only thing I'm allowed to do is move on. I'm no longer given the luxury of grieving the way I had with Jonghyun. There are so many fond memories that I can go back to with Jjong but for them I only have memories. So much has happened these past few years and while I'm not completely okay I can say there's plenty of room where I've healed.

As year 6 approaches I want my fellow Shawols to know that healing is hardly a linear task. It's okay to not be ready but where you are there's always going to be SHINee.

And Dear Author thank you for keeping this space for all of us.

luv_kero ^{2440 streak} #2 Dec 18, 2022 09:15:11

Thank you for keeping this space for us for so many years <3 This milestone hit me a lot harder than expected, but seeing this brought so much comfort. Miss you to the moon and back, Jonghyun <3

Viola_Ella #3 Dec 18, 2022 03:56:50

Chapter 818: When I saw in newfeed I just realised today is the day. He is a sweet,kind and precious soul. I miss him.

Evelyn_64 #4 Dec 18, 2022 00:55:41

It’s been five years today and just a few days ago I turned 27, the age Jonghyun-ah was when we had to say goodbye to him. I have long since had to “become an adult” and learn what growing up means; yet every year I come back to this little space, and read some of the messages that people wrote for him, and think back to the letter I wrote at 22 and never shared with anyone. I think back to a memory of me looking at the full moon and talking to him for hours, telling him I missed him terribly. We still miss you, friend. I still remember you fondly. I still remember me at 17 dancing to Replay in my room. I’ll always cherish those memories of our Spring.

Author, I hope you have been doing well. Thank you so much for keeping this space running for so long, it brings comfort to some more than you’ll ever know.

OdetteSwan ^{927 streak} #5 Dec 18, 2022 00:11:36

I'm so glad you won the bid. I will start collecting karma points again.
Good work.

OdetteSwan ^{927 streak} #6 Dec 18, 2021 15:31:45

Chapter 818: I just really paid attention to SHINee this August. Yet, when Jonghyun passed away four years ago, I felt sad that another beautiful and caring person chose to leave this place. In fact, I didn't want to listen to any SHINee songs then.
Now, watching SHINee's MVs, I feel like I have accepted what happened and hope that he is really happy now.

Redofthedawn #7 Dec 18, 2021 15:23:33

Time keeps moving on and I wonder why I can't just go back and fix things to when it was so peaceful. So much has happened in the last four years and it feels as though there's only SHINee left to comfort me. Jonghyun for so long I've written my letters to you and I couldn't this year because I couldn't find the strength or will to when I was feeling down. I haven't cried this much since I was a baby. I promised last year that I would tread the new year with caution and that didn't work out so great. There's more I wanna say but I just wish you knew how much I love you. Thank you for being born and sharing your light with the world. Sincerely I love you. 𝑰 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 ❤️

lovelyfeisty #8 Dec 18, 2021 05:29:15

It’s been 4 years now and so it’s hard to believe that you left us, but I still do remember you as SHINee’s Blingbling Angel and as the brightest star that shines in the sky.

I used to feel so lonely after knowing that you left us, that I was listening to Lonely everyday for about a year, but now I just remind myself that you’re still with us, as the bright shining star watching over us from the night sky. ❤️
I will always love you.

wonpokemon #9 Dec 17, 2021 22:21:02

i was InMemoryOfJonghyun!
just thought i'll let you know so you don't add this username again~ =]
anyways, good luck with the add and for all those who come here and are thinking of Jjong and of others and themselves.

aseulmonsta #10 Jul 21, 2021 15:41:11

❤️