I Hope We Can Change The Future
A FarewellJonghyun-ah, I can think and write your name, but when I try to say it aloud I feel like chocking. You didn't deserve to die so young, you had a bright future in front of you. I'm sorry I didn't know in how much pain you were, I'm sorry I didn't know you so I could be there for you, I'm sorry I'll never get the chance now to get to know you as a person. I wish I knew you, I wish I could turn back time and reach out to help you. You were so kind, funny, warm and bright, but you weren't meant for this world. I'm trying to keep my tears and stay strong, but this feels so hard. Your music was beautiful and heartfelt, it reached my deepest heart, your beautiful voice I'm sure was that of angels, sweet like honey and powerful, and will forever make me smile. It's hard to accept you're gone, it'll take time to stop crying whenever I see you and hear your voice. I found you and Shinee three years ago and it feels like so little time now, I had no time to meet you and it's hurting me so much. I feel like I can't breathe and my chest and heart aches. Why did it have to end like this? Why couldn't I do anything? I feel so useless! I know you asked us not to hurt, but it's not easy to do. I know you're gone and we can't change the past, but I hope we can change the future. I hope no one else ends up like you, because going through this pain once is one too many times. I'm not really religious, but I want to believe there's an afterlife and that Heaven is real, because it means you are happy and unburdened at last and that one day I can see you again and greet you as a friend. I'll go to church and light a candle in your memory, pray that you are happy and smiling again and that everyone that has ever loved you can overcome this painful trial. Today you were finally put to rest and I think a part of me died with you. I wish I could have been there by Shinee's side to comfort them, your brothers in all but blood. You never met me, but if I could wish for an older brother, I would wish for you to be my brother. I'll try to stop crying and let you go, overcome the pain and move on even if my heart is broken. I don't know when my time will come, but I hope you will wait for me on the other side at that time. I'll try to find out my dreams and make them reality, I promise to try and visit Seoul one day and stand before your memorial, kneel down and thank you for coming into this world even if you left so suddenly. I'll try to be the best person I can be so when I stand before I can say I am proud of the life I had. If God exists, I hope he lets me see you when my time comes. Goodbye and farewell, sweet heart, beloved friend and person, my dearly beloved. Forever in my heart, forever in my mind and forever in our souls. You will be dearly missed, but I'll keep my head up and smile no matter what. Rest in peace, you did well and you worked so hard, you deserve to be happy. I will never forget and I will forever love you. Goodbye, my heart, my soul, my beloved Angel. I hope this somehow reaches you and all who loved you. I will do my best to support your brothers and friends in their pain, I promise.
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