Dear our Jonghyun, 

I may haven't been a Shawol for a long time, but somehow, your departure has left my heart torn in pieces. I clearly remember when I was still in the 5th grade of Elementary School, that was the first time I got into Kpop and I remember I played 'Lucifer' and 'Hello' over and over and over again. My young, innocent self declared that I was a Shawol, chuckles. Although it came from a new, childish fan, I stayed in the fandom for a year or even more. 

Now I'm in college. Wow, impressive, huh? Maybe that's why I feel terribly sad when you left. I grew up listening to you, seeing you, looking at you. And the fact that you have gone at such young age makes me feel so.. I don't know, empty? 

You always had the brightest smile, our Jonghyun. Maybe because you always put on that happy face, we failed to realize that you had fallen too deep into the pit of sadness. A lot of people admire and adore you, not only from South Korea but around the world, yet none of our arms are long enough to save you. I know this is too late.. but I'm sorry for not noticing earlier. I'm sorry for not trying to help you. I'm sorry for being so blind that I didn't know you just wanted to be happy... yet you couldn't get it even after years passed. 

Our Jonghyun, look at the world right now. Everyone is in grief. Every fandom, not only Shawols, are sending you away with a heavy heart. We're sad, because you're incredibly precious.

Our Jonghyun, thank you. Thank you for hanging in there although just for a little while. Thank you for being such a great musician, singer, producer, and especially, person. Thank you for introducing me to Kpop. Thank you for making a lot of amazing music. Your music can cheer us up... yet we can't give you the same. 

I truly wish you're not in pain anymore. I wish you're there with a bright smile once again, but this time... there is no sadness in your heart. You said you wanted to be happy so bad, so I hope God is giving you infinite happiness right now in Heaven. I wish you're up there watching us, taking care of your loved ones. Please take care of the other members. I may be very sad, but I'm sure your family, friends and members are a lot, lot, lot more at loss than I do. 

And please... Please rest peacefully. The only way I can let you go is by knowing you're up there and better. 

Our Jonghyun, goodbye. Farewell. We love you.