Dear Angel Jonghyun,
It looks like you gained some damn beautiful wings. Well, you earned it. You worked very hard. It's been almost three days since your parting and I still can't believe you are not in this world anymore. SHINee was one of the KPOP groups that I love and hold dear, and you were my bias. I fell for you in Hello Baby. You were so happy and bright, you were literally shining. Who knew you were in such pain. I would have never noticed because you were smiling on. But you smiled for us. I just wished this incident was prevented. And it could have been if someone just did something. Only if more people came to your cries, only if people reached out, only if....I don't know what to say and this frustrates me because you could still be here if someone just gave you hope, even just a little. I don't know what or who to blame so I'm just blaming everything. I honestly don't know when I'm going to be okay. Your death just threw me off the cliff that I cried all day for days. I couldn't smile. I couldn't talk. I couldn't even look at other people. I couldn't focus on any of my finals. I couldn't go on social media without breaking down because you were everywhere. I would see memories of you, smiling, singing, happily talking, and dancing. But I wonder if you were happy at those times. I wonder what we did wrong because you did nothing wrong to us. It hurts me that you have been in pain for so long and I didn't know it. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. I'm sorry I couldn't see the signs. I'm so sorry. It was hard for you. And I understand why you did it, and I'll support you. I'll support you for eternity. You gave us light, joy, and happiness. I love your singing. I love your dancing. I love your silliness. I love you. And I miss you. I miss you so much, so much that it feels like it's ripping my heart out. But, I will stay strong. I know you wouldn't want me to be sad forever. I'll smile tomorrow. I'll laugh. I'll look at my friends. I'll talk to them. I'll try not to break down. I'll remember the happiness you gave me. I'll remember that you are in a safe and happy place. I'll do it just for you. You will always be in my heart. Now I just want to tell you, you did well. For the past ten years, you did an amazing job. Thank you. You shined everywhere. I was always happy with your performance, they always make me go in "awe". Now you're set free from this cruel world. There is no pain inside you anymore. There is nothing that can touch you. You're flying now and you're still shining. Just watch over all of us and give us the strength to whatever comes in front of us. Until my time come, I'll see you later.
Love, Kathy
P.S. When I get up there, I better be greeted by you rocking the kazoo.