Doubt
A FarewellI can´t even imagine how many people are suffering right now, including me.
My beloved Kim Jonghyun,
Last night I was reading your letter, because I could no longer sleep. Every word written there had a great impact on me, I felt like I was the author of it. Today I turned fifteen, and here in my country becoming a girl at this age represents such an incredible moment; but my heart is breaking little by little, and I presume that I won´t be able to enjoy my day.
Since last year I have been having some doubts; this sadness that I feel is just like the wind, that is going to disappear before I notice or it is something that will keep knocking on my door? I feel sad everyday, and I keep having those suicide thoughts. It seems like I am not good enough for anyone around me, and these people would be happier if I just disappearded.
I got introduced to kpop months ago, and I did not have the oportunity to get to know SHINee deeply, but I was pretty sure that those 5 guys were incredible artists
And they are.
Just spending some time listening to kpop songs makes my day better, it is like a dream covering this nightmare called reality. But I am really hurt right now, and my parents don´t undertand; they think my pain is something wothy of negligence. For you, jonghyun, I will try my best to get better, because you and SHiNee were my live saviours during these months.
With my deepest condolences, I will say goodbye to you, Jonghyun.
Rest in peace, my little angel.
I love you.
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