Ten minutes in and Seulgi’s feet are already getting friendly with the Baes’ doorstep.  She’s been pacing back and forth, rehearsing her introductory lines in quiet whispers. She tries to heed Seungwan’s advice to not be weird, screening each word that comes out of and ensuring that they’re courteous and professional. After all, she isn’t planning to get arrested for simply caring for a patient.

Or the patient’s mother.

EITHER WAY.

If only her mind was good at memorizing speeches as her feet were at memorizing the feel of the Baes’ red rubber door mat.  

Hello, I’m Kang Seulgi. I’m a resident doctor at Myung Se Hospital’s toxicology department.  I’m the person who received your call at the poison center hours ago. I got a little worried while listening, but I couldn’t reach out to you until coincidentally Sooyoung, my friend from the Family Medicine ward, told me she knew you. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay that’s why I vis –

“Ack, what the hell?” Seulgi hisses, plunging her head into her palms. “Is this an essay? Am I planning to put her to sleep? Why am I rambling too much!?”

The last sentence reverberates loudly that the doctor’s monolidded eyes had to check swiftly from one room of the humble apartment building to another if she had disturbed anyone. Lights are still on in some. She can also hear murmuring televisions in others, but in total, all the doors are locked. She lets out an anxious huff. I really need to get things moving before somebody notices me and calls me out for lurking.

Seulgi rereads the address on her inbox one last time.

This is it. She confirms, blinking at the brown plastic door. She takes a couple of deep breaths and pulls at the collar of her striped shirt. The doctor hoists her hand to knock but the entrance swings itself open spontaneously and a short girl sporting a white baseball tee with black sleeves and gray sweatpants emerges.  

“Hey…can I help you?” She asks timidly while her delicate small hand reaches for the purple hair clip on her bangs. She plucks it out and a strand of her dark hair curls to draw Seulgi’s attention to the wide, innocent eyes dipping intently into hers. According to the rules of short term memory, her practiced piece is supposed to come to her mind easily when recalled, but instead all Seulgi’s haywire brain could think of at the moment was:

Wow, she’s...beautiful.  

“Hello? Are you okay?” The stranger gapes at the doctor worriedly, waving her hand slowly at Seulgi’s face. An obvious look of distress plagues the girl’s gentle facial features. What an unexpected turn of events this was – somebody else asking a doctor if she was okay. "I opened the door because I thought I could hear someone talking..."

“...Are you lost perhaps?” The shorter girl asks, peering out the doorway as if to see if Seulgi was meaning to knock at her other neighbor’s door.

“I-uh….uhm…” Seulgi starts spouting gibberish. “Uh..”

She scrabbles to unclip her hospital ID out of her slacks’ belt loops. So much for not being weird. She’s exactly looking like what Seungwan told her not to be: a creepy intruder with questionable intentions. Thankfully, the wretched thing unhooks itself and Seulgi, in an attempt to save face, projects an optimistic smile while she hangs up her hospital ID at the concerned resident. 

“Hello, I'm Kang Seulgi, a resident doctor at Myung Se Hospital. I was just wondering if this is where Miss Bae Irene lives?”

The girl’s brows unfurrow, and her sleepy doe eyes widen in recognition. "Ah, the person on the phone!" She exclaims, cupping her hands to .

"Yes, yes! I’m the person on the phone - wait, wh-what?" Seulgi stutters in shock. Her right index finger instinctively holds itself up."Wa-wait a second, are you...are you perhaps…"

"I'm Bae Irene." The girl beams brightly, holding a hand to her chest.  "The other person on the phone." 

Seulgi swears she misplaced her jaw somewhere in that split second and that her soles have glued themselves on the cement in utter stupefaction. When Sooyoung was describing Bae Irene as someone who’s ‘nice, really pleasant and young-looking’, she was thinking of her own mother who aged gracefully through the years. Oh, how wrong she was. Seulgi figures, witnessing how pale Sooyoung’s words were in comparison to the sight of Irene’s perfectly youthful, ridiculously pretty appearance.

Scrap ‘aging gracefully’. Irene didn’t even look like she aged.

Suddenly, Seulgi wonders if Sooyoung’s rather unreluctant support for her visit was driven by her scheming ways. Is she laughing at me now? Is this her doing? A set up she thought would be funny because she knew how terrible Seulgi was at keeping conversations with pretty girls? The said difficulty manifests itself as Seulgi is barely spewing proper sentences to contribute to the conversation.

"Ho-how did you-"

"Ah, how did I know it was you?” Irene ends all the doctor’s sentences for her. “Well…I was listening very well earlier during the phone call, so I was able to recognize your voice when you introduced."

Seulgi’s head rocks itself up and down involuntarily, impressed at Irene’s display of good auditory memory. At the same time, she’s fortunately relieved from the long explanation she’s prepared to prove her identity and the even longer one if she and her friends have not been talking about the same Irene. She pockets her card and lets her hand stay in there. At least, she can skip to the important parts. 

"I'm sorry for the unplanned visit and for invading your privacy but I just got a little worried when you called.” The doctor clears with her free hand before proceeding as planned. “I couldn’t reach out to you though until coincidentally Sooyoung, my friend from the Family Medicine ward, told me she knew you. I went to visit because I wanted to make sure you’re okay. "

Heart pounding against her rib cage, Seulgi manages to speak her lengthiest dialogue yet without the unnecessary uh and uhms. Believe her, it wasn’t an easy task with Irene being particularly attentive. She could notice how the girl’s eyes would trail all over her face and land on her lips, as if she were lipreading.

Irene smiles kindly when Seulgi finishes talking. Her half-moon eyes twinkle with something along the lines of astonishment and gratitude. "Thank you. That’s actually very nice of you."

That’s actually very nice of you. The words resound themselves in Seulgi's ears. She hasn't heard them in a while despite being in a service oriented profession. After all, she’s not the type to go the extra mile to dote on her patients. As long as they get discharged out of the hospital quickly after treatment, then her job is done, right? She wasn’t Seungwan – Son Seungwan -  who, inspite claiming med school has desensitized her, greets her patients with a smile that puts the sun to shame and talks to them like a friend so, yeah…

 …Kang Seulgi probably wasn't the kindest doctor in the first place.

That’s actually very nice of you. It was foreign to Seulgi but Irene's sweet voice made it feel very good - so good that Seulgi wanted to do nice things more often so she could hear it again from her.

“…Everything went fine, though. Just like you said.” Irene adds bashfully, taking control of Seulgi’s attention again. The doctor, then, realizes the girl is probably referring to the three times she had to assure her that her daughter was going to be alright. “No nausea or vomiting either. It’s like nothing happened, but of course, I’ve got to be more care- ” 

The door opens wider because Irene absentmindedly leans on it and the cool breeze causes her to quiver. “Whoa, it’s actually pretty cold outside. You must have been freezing! You should come indoors now…”

“Eh? Me? No- no, no…I’m fine!” Seulgi lies, glad her shivering white knuckles were shoved way into her pants, obscured from Irene’s sight. “I don’t want to bother you that much…”

“What are you saying?” Irene makes a pained expression; her brows are scrunching together again. “You’re my guest!”

“I dressed warmly today, really.” Seulgi answers, gesturing to her longsleeved skipper collared baby blue button downs. “I’m not cold at al-“  

Seulgi interrupts herself when she looks down and sees Miss Bae cross her arms together. Frankly, although her height makes her stare up at Seulgi to maintain eye contact, Irene’s stance is intimidating.  Her clenched jaw and intense gaze is sending even more chills into the doctor’s spine than the night wind. The doctor knows she’s over when Irene shifts her hands from her chest to her hips and in a no nonsense tone, she mutters low:

“I’m not taking another ‘no’ for an answer.”

The doctor swallows the hard lump in .

Irene just switched to full ‘mom mode’.

“On the second thought…” Seulgi trails off, as if she genuinely considered the invitation. “Your suggestion would be great. Thank you, Irene-ssi.”

--------

Seulgi hasn’t felt it for the longest time but, it washes over her the moment she sets foot into Irene’s household: that peculiar, overwhelming feeling of entering someone’s house for the first time. Out of politeness, her eyes don’t linger on anything in particular, but Seulgi can tell the Baes like to keep things. Their white bookshelf is packed with thick books and the picture frames sitting on it are threatening to fall on each other like dominoes. Likewise, the studio has overstuffed furnishings in warm colors.

It’s just spacious enough for a family of three. Except the rooms hidden by the doors, you can see almost everything by standing in one place. The kitchen is, similarly, narrow and tiny that if Seulgi were to spread her arms out, she could touch each white side wall with the palms of her hands.  She can also effortlessly inhale the glazed donut smell coming from the scented candles on the gray table top three meters away.

The room is less than perfect but it has lived-in comfort that makes you want to sit yourself down, sip coffee and enjoy good company. Small and cozy. The doctor thinks, as her eyes quit touring the house and they zero in at its petite and cordial owner. The person’s home really becomes like the person.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to clean up much because of the incident..." Irene says regretfully, tossing some clothes from here and there on the linen brown couch and brushing some non-existent lint from the pillow covers. “…It’s usually a bit more organized around here.”

Seulgi shakes her head. Sure, Irene’s house is a far-cry from Sooyoung’s and Seungwan’s who are real neat freaks whose houses are sparsely furnished, yet you can’t compare it with Seulgi’s condominium unit.  That place is in constant helter-skelter. She’s about to reply ‘your place isn't even dirty at all,’ but a couple of huge figures in the living room catch her eye.

"Whoa, that's a lot of paper." Seulgi comments with a tinge of amazement, cocking her head to admire the four huge stacks of paper on the coffee table. She wonders if her paper work at school and hospital would have amounted to something similar if she had piled them.

“What are those for?”

"Oh gosh…the worksheets!” Irene cries out in surprise, biting her lip to punish herself for momentarily forgetting about her job. She rushes to the table and carries the piles to an empty seat instead. Seulgi follows her lead to help her but Irene works too quickly.  Did her tiny hands lift them altogether? The doctor wonders as the reams of paper are now arranged tidily on the cushion.

“…I teach in kindergarten, you see. They do tons of practice activities every day.” Irene explains, patting the heap of worksheets with alphabets on them. “I'm a slow checker though, so they tend to accumulate…"

Seulgi spies that the first page is a poorly done ‘Q’ that resembles a squirrel rather than the actual letter. The doctor would have winced at it if Irene wasn’t watching, but she was, so she had to keep her expressions in check.  Nevertheless, Seulgi sees the teacher has graded it a perfect 10 out of 10 and even drew a cute little bunny with a speech bubble that says: ‘good job, let's practice some more!’ on it. Not that Seulgi hasn’t expected this. Irene did look like a teacher who'd give a 10 to someone who deserved a 2. She might be unsure if this leniency is good for the kids' education, but Seulgi is certain that Irene has the best intentions for providing the kids an encouraging, non-judgmental environment.

The doctor skims through the other stacks and stops at one that has decent handwriting in it. Examining closely, she concludes that it's Irene’s. She’s made step by step tutorials of how to write the letters very much like what artists do when they post drawing tutorials online. The stapler haphazardly lying open beside the pile tells Seulgi this is what Irene was up to while she was contemplating her plans outside - attaching the examples onto the students’ exercise sheets so they can imitate them and do better.

She’s not a slow checker at all. She’s just putting in too much effort.

Irene coughs into her hand, distracting Seulgi from her thoughts. She squeezes in between the chairs to block her work from the visitor’s view. "Anyway, my kid is inside her room. I suppose you’d want to see her?”

The doctor nods, peeling her eyes off the table and remembering the purpose of her visit. Irene gestures to one of the two bedrooms. She opens the door carefully, flips on a light switch and a dim glow spills into the room enough for Seulgi to make out the pink and white bunny silhouette patterned wallpaper surrounding it. A twin-size bed ideal for one child centers the room but the four too many pillows on the headboard hints that Irene sleeps cuddling her kid to fit in that white wooden fixture.

"I sleep here too." Irene repeats verbally, supporting the image in Seulgi's head. They both walk over to the figure bundled up in salmon colored bedsheets.  "Ahreum and I get lonely when we sleep at separate rooms..."

Seulgi’s steps are smooth and noiseless, exercising caution as to not wake the little one. Even when she peeks into the covers and sees the most beautiful child she's ever seen, she stays mum. Are kids supposed to have faces as distinct as this? Don’t kids look the same at this age? She marvels at Ahreum’s milky white skin, long black hair, button nose and downward shaped lips.

Isn’t she simply…a little version of Irene?

"Don't worry too much about waking her up. Ahreum's a heavy sleeper...” Irene chuckles softly, patting her kid's . To demonstrate, she massages a handful of Ahreum’s buttcheeks and the latter doesn’t even stir. “I like to and call her Sleeping Beauty.”

The physician casts her eyes on the mother and daughter tandem in front of her.  She goes back and forth, yet arrives at the same conclusion: their genes are golden. They’re a family of ethereal visuals.

Seulgi hums in affirmation. “She’s pretty and she takes after you.”

Silence follows, and the bold confession sends Irene blushing and smiling coyly away. The doctor realizes how forward she was being. Did she just indirectly tell Irene she found her beautiful? Seulgi’s fingers involuntarily curl themselves at the thought. She gives herself a mental beating while Irene rapidly gains composure again and takes a seat on the tiny bed.

 "Ah, she takes after me? But she's a lot more hard-headed than I am! I almost went crazy thinking I'd lose her to silica gel today." The older girl responds, rubbing Ahreum’s back lovingly like she was the dearest, closest thing to her heart. The mood in the room dives into seriousness. “...it’s mainly my fault though, I should watch over her more…or maybe hire a sitter. How much do they cost these days? I wonder if I can pay for one…”

Seeing Irene in this light, Seulgi is reminded of her own mother who likes to chatter away about family matters on her own. The doctor grins nervously as Miss Bae starts becoming engrossed on rambling by herself, debating pros and cons.

“…but is anyone trustworthy enough these days? What if I end up hiring a pickpocket or a serial killer? I keep messing up lately…”

 “You probably won’t-“

“….maybe it would be better to ask my cousins for help? But I’d let hell freeze over before I leave my house alone with Kim Yerim…”

“Who is-”

“…that leaves me with no choice but to ask for a raise then…I think the other teachers would be fine with that but what a nuisance I’d be…”  

Seulgi doesn’t have any idea of who Kim Yerim is or any understanding of the words Irene was stumbling over for the past minute, but she doesn’t like how it sounds like a mixture of an apology, an explanation and an indictment.

“Irene-ssi…” Seulgi tries to call her attention, worrying that if she doesn’t speak up soon, Irene is going to forget about her existence completely.

“…Or maybe not. I mean - we teach children in the first place - we're basically building the nation.”

“Irene-ssi…”

As the second attempt goes unnoticed, Seulgi thinks she has to be louder.  

“What's a few more wons in the pockets of hardworking teach -”

“Irene-ssi!”

The rise in volume finally snaps the latter out of her one-woman conversation. At this, Seulgi clears her dry throat and takes a strong hold of Irene’s reins.

"I think you’ve been doing well so far, Irene-ssi. Maybe you just have to do a little risk analysis on your place.” The doctor suggests, recalling this one lecture she listened to. It was about how industries keep their workplaces safe and healthy for employees but Seulgi judges that it could be similar for houses and children too. It's far-fetched but if it leads Irene out of her self-incrimination, it'll have to do. 

“First, you could identify hazards. Which objects could be harmful? What materials are they made of? Then, do a risk assessment. How can Ahreum be exposed to them? What effects could they possible cause? And finally, think of ways of how you can reduce exposure from them. You can eliminate objects or substitute the material with something more child-friendly…”

Seulgi lags on her words, becoming aware of the way the older girl’s eyes would gloss over her. Her advice isn’t what regular people would say but Irene is showing interest anyway - her non-verbal cues subconsciously compelling the doctor to talk comfortably. However, Irene misinterprets the sudden silence as Seulgi stopping because of feeling irelevant.

“Seonsaengnim, you were saying?” The shorter girl prods, tilting her head forward so her straight dark hair falls over her shoulders.  “I was listeni –“

“N-no actually…it’s okay. What I want to say is...” The younger adult begins again, dropping the ‘doctor’ façade to go straight to the point. “What I really want to say is…”

“…It must have been a hard day for you.” Seulgi admits.

Irene’s dark almond eyes flicker and now, the doctor can’t look her in the eye and has to stare over the top of her head instead. She musters up more courage to follow through with her words.

“…and that’s okay. It’s difficult to raise a small child – more so if you’re alone. Forgive yourself for the shortcomings you have once in a while. There's no perfect in parenting. Also, I think it’ll be alright to ask help from your friends. You’re not a burden. You can rely on others too.” 

Seulgi halts her speech again. This time because the glow in Irene’s eyes turn into moist. 

”I think I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me those things.” Irene mumbles when she finds her voice. She struggles to blink tears out of her eyes. “The words: ‘it’s okay.”

The older girl’s shoulders droop down on the bed’s headboard. At this moment, Seulgi, at last, sees the weight of experience descending upon Irene all at once. She hears it – her heavy breath – but can’t understand it. She knows nothing about Irene’s hardships or her solitary life in the aftermath of her husband’s death or the reason she’s hurting silently all of a sudden. She's eager to ask but she wants to be helpful (even just a little bit) so she stays quiet instead - like a resting place.

"I’m trying to raise her well. I really am...” Irene mutters to air as her hands and eyes busied themselves in smoothening out Ahreum’s black tresses.

Seulgi plops onto the mattress and scoots close. She tries to not think too hard about what she’s doing and lets her human instinct to empathize take over. Boldly, she extends her hand towards Irene’s, urging the latter to freeze. It’s awkward and clumsy, but her fingers pat on the older girl’s soft skin tenderly and in a tone that makes them feel both scared and safe at the same time, Seulgi utters:

“I’m sure you are, Irene-ssi. I’m sure you’re taking care of her well.”

As if the resolution in the younger one's acknowledgement is an invisible hand, the older girl's chin lifts up to face her. In exchange for Seulgi's kind words, Irene gifts her a candid grin that stretches out into a thankful sparkle in her crescent-shaped eyes.

Maybe if I see her, I can stop thinking about her. What a mistake. 

Seulgi swears this smile is going to haunt her.

She’ll want to see it again. One more time. 

"I hope I can meet her again someday, your Ahreum."

END OF CHAPTER TWO

A/N:

Hi guys! Ah, it’s been two weeks…I’m sorry it took a little long to post the second chapter. I’ve been sad over Jonghyun’s passing ☹ I hope you’re all alright this holiday season, though? 😊 The next chapter is supposedly the last but I’ve been mulling over adding a few bonus chapters. Your thoughts?

P.S. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t forgotten about inserting Yeri as a character in this fic. >:D She’s Irene’s younger cousin!