"Hey."

Eric gives Hyesung a side glance and quirks his eyebrows with a smile playing on his lips.

Hyesung gives him a small smile, "Do you want to switch?" he says tilting his head.

Eric's eyebrows meet at the center of his forehead, "Huh?"

Hyesung points towards the steering wheel, "Driving. I can switch."

"Are you sure?" Eric says a bit wary.

Hyesung nods, "Ofcourse, yes."

I'M TIRED OF STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW ANYWAY. Hyesung thought to himself sighing a little.

"Really?" Eric says unbelieving, squinting his eyes a little towards him.

Hyesung laughs, he must've caught his sighing, "Yes." He says again this time with a grin.

Eric laughs, "Alright then." He swerves a bit to the right corner of the road and then parks the car.

Hyesung takes off his seatbelt and gets out of the car, as Eric does the same. They pass by each other infront of the car, Hyesung not looking at Eric's face while Eric pats Hyesung's shoulders as he passes.

They both get in the car again and put on their seatbelt. Eric adjusts his seat, while Hyesung starts the car and moves back into the road.

"Thanks for doing this." Eric says smiling.

Hyesung gives him a side glance and nods.

Eric goes silent after a few minutes. Hyesung turns towards his direction and sees that he's already sleeping.

He must've been very tired. Hyesung thought.

But ofcourse, he just came home today remember? Hyesung's mind replied to him.

And he went straight to you..

"SHUT UP." Hyesung says hissing, his voice low.

Okay, I've gone crazy. Hyesung thought to himself.

He shakes himself and focuses on the road infront of him. There wasn't many cars passing by on their direction, nor on the other direction. It must be because they're nearing the provinces. Not many people go home during the weekdays and the busy bustle is usually expected in the city. In all truth, this was a great view for him, the silent and wonderful view, not everyone sees something like this in Seoul. The city is all buildings and cars and too many people. On usual days, if there's no schedule for him or the boys, he'd sit inside his home and watch TV, or sleep, or surf the internet for a few hours or go out and play games with his friends, or golf and sometimes, the occassional drinking... but really, just thinking about his routine in the city, it makes him feel tired.

And lonely.

Hyesung gives Eric's sleeping form another glance. He seems restful, the lines in his face smoothing out when he's asleep. Although, Hyesung takes another glance, he seems a bit stressed out.

Why though? Hyesung asks himself looking back at the road infront of him.

For somebody who just got--

Hyesung coughs and shakes himself.

"I'm ridiculous." Hyesung says outloud, then he looks at Eric immediately, wary he wakes him. Eric continuously sleeps, his head tilted towards Hyesung's side, his breathing steady.

Hyesung gives a sigh of relief.

Then he laughs and gives Eric another look.

A memory comes up to him. He was in a bar, it was dark and the only thing that illuminated the vicinity were the strobing lights all around and the cellphone screens everywhere around him. It was noisy, the music played too loud for him and the people around him screamed and laughed out loud. He didn't know why he went there on the first place, but he felt he had to get out of the house or else he'd go insane thinking....

Thinking about her...

and what she did...

Hyesung could remember faintly, her face. Actually no, he couldn't remember it now at all. Just a figment of colors, maybe a smile? Or maybe not at all really.

But that night, of the year 1995, he sat on a disco bar, somewhere Los Angeles, in the United States of America. He was invited by a few korean friends he recently met. He didn't want to go out in all truth, but he thought it would've been better to go out and hang out more since he was plalnning to continue studying there anyway. They took him to their usual hangout place, there were a lot of koreans there they said, and it was a little less scary to stay there since they knew a lot of people. It was true. They did know a lot of people there. But Hyesung didn't, so he sat in the far corner of the room, watching everyone, contemplating on going home, thinking about her, feeling depressed and heartbroken.

It was at that moment when he stepped out of the dark and sat beside him.

Hyesung pats the steering wheel and grins.

He could still remember how he looked like that night.

Hyesung looked at him warily; but he didn't mind his expression even a little. He sat beside him and smiled as if they knew each other for a long time now.

"Who--who are you?" Hyesung said, struggling with his english a little.

He smiled and raised his hand for him to shake, "I'm Eric. You're Steve right?"

Hyesung stared at him then, "Who told you?" he said, wary of Eric even more.

Eric pointed towards his group of friends who waved their hands towards them. He turned back towards Hyesung and smiled even more widely, "So." he said pointing towards his raised hand.

"Oh." Hyesung said startled and embarrassed. He raised his hand then and took Eric's hand, "Ouch!" he said letting go of Eric's hand.

Eric's face registered worry then, "Oh I'm sorry about that! It must be my jacket!"

Hyesung looked at him unable to understand, "What? Your jacket?"

Eric nods, "Yes, I'm wearing leather. I heard that happens when you wear leather." He said shrugging.

Hyesung's face broke into laughter then and clasped Eric's hand once again, "That's silly. Look."he said shaking Eric's hand, "See, no more electricity!"

"Spark you mean." Eric said laughing and then letting go of his hands.

Yup. Hyesung thought to himself as he drives in silence. That was how he and Eric met. In a dark disco bar, him in his regular faded jeans, donning what he thought was his coolest shirt and his newly bought sneakers, while Eric was in his best outfit of the night with leather jacket on. Long hair must've been a fad then, for he was growing his hair and Eric's was pretty much passable for a woman's short hair already.

But what a sight Eric was then, Hyesung thought, a smile lingering on his lips. Despite the darkness, he could see how really handsome he was, and he was so friendly to want to talk to him, somebody who was new around the area and obviously wasn't cool enough for a lot of people, even for his friends then, as they hanged out near the bar instead of sitting next to him, at least, out of courtesy of not letting him feel alone.

Eric never left his side that night, he sat there, introduced him to a lot of people, told him of stories and talked endlessly about so many things. Hyesung's earlier thought of leaving was replaced with enjoyment in a span of an hour and he felt he came to the right place to meet this wonderful person who became his friend.

"Bestfriend." Hyesung says in a low voice as he gives Eric a side glance. He smiles despite the pain in his chest.

He looks back on the road and remembers the first time he walked into their first training room. He sat in one of the sofas and he was told to come there to be introduced to some people he'd be with this group they were forming.

Hyesung knew the moment he entered the room. He knew him so well he'd recognize even a strand of his hair. Well, out of exaggeration but well.

"Eric!" He shouted then standing up.

Eric laughed and pointed at him, then he ran to where Hyesung was and hugged him really tight.

As they broke away from the hug Eric said, "I knew they'd get you! I mean, no more talented person I know to be main vocal!"  His voice was excited and proud and very happy.

Hyesung laughed, blushed and hugged Eric again.

"I'm glad you're here." Eric whispered on his ears, "I wouldn't be alone."

Hyesung nodded, his chest felt light and he didn't know why. But he gave Eric a grin, "Me too, Eric. Me too." He said, to which Eric replied with an even bigger grin.

Ofcourse at that time it was true as Andy hasn't joined in yet. It took a while before the group was formed. Minwoo was the first one in ofcourse, but he had to fix his things at home before he could travel to Seoul to join them. It was mostly Eric & Hyesung together. They were very close that it was in a way, hard for the others to come in between them sometimes. Eventually the years passed by and though he and Eric remained close, due to the existence of the other members, there were more people to talk to and go out with and basically be with. Which was a great thing as the rest of the members were awesome people and both he and Eric treasure them so much. It's just that, it was different then for him and Eric. It's not that they fell apart, they just hanged out with different people sometimes. Although they did live in the same house-which was great-but eventually, he was more with Junjin than with Eric, and people were then led to believe that they were oil and water. That they didn't get along well, which was ofcourse, ridiculous. He knew Eric from head to toe as Eric does with him.

They knew each other too well and were very close. Despite being with different people, often.

Closer than others infact, but people never knew that.

As the years went on, they all got busy with Shinhwa and the company they were in were starting to become a burden than a helpful hand. It seemed as if they were about to go their separate ways. It was the year of 2003 when Eric came to him and talked to him one night and asked for his advice.

He could remember it clearly too, Hyesung thought to himself as he takes another glance at Eric's sleeping form, his body completely turned towards Hyesung's direction now.

He was sitting on the sofa that day, the others were preparing to go to sleep and actually, some of them were already asleep. He and Eric were the only ones awake as they had a schedule the next day. Hyesung was conflicted with his thoughts that day and he was bothered enough to still be awake and lounging on the sofa trying to clear his thoughts. Eric came out of his room and went to were Hyesung was sitting.

"Syungie~"

Hyesung looked up, startled, he didn't know Eric walked towards him or heard him come out of his room.

"Can we talk?" Eric asked him.

Hyesung nodded and he and Eric went out of the house and sat by the chairs outside.

"What's wrong?" Hyesung asked Eric, his face worried. It has been a while since Eric talked to him like this, and usually it was a huge problem.

Eric looked at him, his face troubled, "Just, what's going on you know?"

"Ah" Hyesung said, his face registered recognition of the issue. He sighed.

"Are you going to take their offer?" Eric asked him, his face even more troubled.

No. Hyesung heard his mind tell him.

Not if you're not with me.

Hyesung stopped breathing for a moment.

What was that? His heart was speaking to him.

It wasn't a first, but it wasn't this loud for him to stop.

Eric raised his eyebrow at him, "Are you okay Hyesung?" He asked, his voice worried.

Hyesung looked up at Eric and shook his head, "No, just." He breathed, confused at what he was feeling. What was happening to him?

Eric looked at him for a few moments and moved closer to him to rub his shoulders. He didn't say anything as he closed his eyes and tried to decipher what was happening to him. The feeling was familiar, he thought then as Eric continuously rubbed his shoulders--trying to ease whatever he was feeling, even though Eric didn't know what it was about.

Yes, that feeling was familiar. He felt this before but...different.

Shrugging it off then as something that was because of their topic, Hyesung squared his shoulders-Eric stopped rubbing it then, and looked at Eric's face, with a slight smile, "No, I'm not going to take it."

Eric smiled at him, "I was afraid you would." He said, his hand still on Hyesung's shoulders.

Hyesung gave him a shocked expression, "What! We're in this together remember?" Hyesung said almost laughing.

Eric's face registers something Hyesung has never seen before. There was appreciation, wonder, awe and something he couldn't quite recognize.

"Thank you." Eric said, the expression on his face never wavering.

Hyesung smiled at him and gave him a hug, "You're welcome." He whispered on Eric's ears. He felt Eric grip him tight and he did the same.

His chest also felt like it was going to burst then. But he put it off as happiness.

Ofcourse now, he knew what it was. Hyesung thought bitterly as he gave Eric's sleeping form another glance. He bit his lower lip at the surge of emotion that was coming up on his chest at the realization that this all started to come out clearly that night and he shrugged it off as something else entirely.

"Why are you so stupid?" Hyesung said to himself in a low voice, looking at the wing mirror.

Eric grunts.

Hyesung looks at him swiftly and sees that Eric was shifting his position properly.

Eric raises his right hand and reaches out to him. His hand rests on stomach and stays there. Then he was silent again.

Hyesung takes a deep breath and looks at the road infront of him, noting that it was starting to blur. He raises his left hand towards his mouth and feels tears falling down towards his cheeks. He opens his mouth to breath through it and wipes the tears falling down on his cheeks, trying to calm himself down.

A memory grips him just as his right hand grips the steering wheel to regain control of his driving. It was of Eric outside his apartment that night, he was drunk and sad. He let Eric in, mostly scared that since he was drunk, he might start taking off his clothes and going crazy outside. As he ws helping Eric sit down his sofa, he felt Eric's hand grip his. Confused, and his face blushing like crazy, he held Eric's hand and looked at him with his eyebrow raised.

"What is it?" He asked Eric, his voice wary.

Eric's lips trembled, "We broke up." He said as tears fell down on his cheeks.

Hyesung's stomach felt like somebody was cartwheeling inside it and his heart was thumping so hard on his chest. He nodded at Eric and held him as he cried that night, rubbing his back, until he was tired from all the crying.

When Eric was done, he rested his head on Hyesung's shoulders, both of them lounging on the sofa. Hyesung couldn't speak, afraid he'd say something stupid. His heart was thumping wildly on his chest and were screaming at him.

SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!

"Well." Eric breathed and shrugged, "I still got you."

Hyesung turned towards Eric, "What's that suppose to mean?" He said smiling towards him.

Eric moved to get a better view of Hyesung's face, he smiled squinting slightly, "It means that I love you." He said as he grinned towards Hyesung.

Hyesung's face reddens even more if that was even possible as his heart and mind started chanting screams at him, as if on a Shinhwa concert.

SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!

He laughed nervously, "You're drunk." he said avoiding Eric's gaze.

"Even if I am not drunk, I still love you though." Eric said as he hugged Hyesung's stomach and closed his eyes.

Hyesung looked at Eric then, biting his lower lip he whispered, "Me too."

But ofcourse Eric never heard it as he started snoring right after.

Hyesung was glad then because he wasn't ready for Eric to hear it yet.

Hyesung bit his lower lip, giving Eric's hand on his stomach a glance and then back on the road as his tears kept on falling down on his cheeks. He was afraid to sniff lest Eric wakes up and finds him at this state.

But when were you going to be ready Hyesung?

Hyesung stopped breathing. His heart was speaking to him again. It was loud and angry. And it thumps to the point of hurting his chest.

You thought you were ready 5 years ago didn't you? When he came to you one night, all happy and ecstatic, and you thought, this was going to be it, and he waited for you to say it, but then you faltered and asked him what he was going to tell you, and he told you he met her...

Hyesung's face crumpled as more tears fell down on his cheeks, like a rainfall of sorts at the realization of so many times he missed because he decided to wait.

Waiting and waiting and waiting...

For what exactly?

The perfect time? The perfect place? The perfect...what?

Waiting to be brave enough is what it is Hyesung.

Brave enough to face him and tell him how you feel.

Like he has been doing all these years for you.

Hyesung's eyebrows meets on the center of his forehead as he tries hard to stop crying. He grips on the steering wheel, his fingers turning white.

All of those years, wasted...

Who would've thought that one day time will finally be up?

That all his fears will come to light....

And it was too late to try and change anything...

Hyesung gives Eric a glance. He was peacefully sleeping, a little scrunched and his hand still resting on Hyesung's stomach. A smile lingers on his lips, as if he was dreaming something wonderful. Hyesung turns his attention back towards the road and smiles a little.

And as he did so, he felt his heart shattering into a million pieces.

Over.

And over.

And over.

And over again.

It felt as if he was bleeding internally. His blood was surely spilling down on the car seat, into the floor, enough to fill the whole car and drown both him and Eric.

Hyesung bit his lower lip as more tears showered down on his face at the realization that...

There was no turning back the clock.

He could not go back to 2013.

Or 2007.

Or 2003.

Or 1998.

Or 1995.

There was no turning back to all the times he could've said something.

He could've spilled his heart.

And Eric would've willingly caught it for him.

He knew this to be true.

But now...

There was no turning back.

His time is over.

And all he's ever going to be for Eric was...

His bestfriend.

Hyesung bit his lips as a storm of emotions overpowers him, and a sob escapes his lips knowing that Eric will never catch him now.

Because they cannot be.

Not anymore.