Wednesday, January 3rd, 2017

"Yah! Why are you still sleeping! Foolish girl." I was hit repeatedly on my back.

"Ah, ah, grandma, stop, that hurts." I groaned in pain and tried to roll onto my back but her constant hitting made me curl up on my side.

"Get up. Find a job today." She scolded me.

"Alright, alright, I'm up." I rubbed my face. I heard her get up from the floor so I thought it was safe to roll over at that point. I was wrong.

As soon as I rolled onto my back, her foot came in contact with my hip. "You're moving too slow."

I cried out, tears pouring down the sides of my face. "I'm getting up." As I got on my hands and knees to push myself up, her hand grabbed the back of my shirt and she pulled me to my feet. Who knew such an old lady would have that much strength.

"Why are you crying? Did I hurt you? Oh, wait till I have my morning coffee." She scoffed and started to walk down the stairs to get to the first level.

I collapsed back down on my make-shift bed and sobbed into my pillow. It's been 2 weeks already. Christmas has passed, so has my birthday, and it is already the new year.

My father won't make a decision on where he wants to live, and I've had to endure this constant abuse from my grandmother. My own blood. My own family. While my father is downstairs, not knowing a single thing that she does to me.

I clutched my side as I got to my feet once more. I walked over to the full length mirror that was in the attic/room I was staying in and I lifted my shirt to see the bruises littering my skin.

Everywhere.

From my stomach, to my hips, to every inch of my back. It looked like I was in some type of accident.

Some bruises were from the first few days I lived here, which were already turning to a greenish yellow tone, others were a deep blue or purple. The color of some of the bruises matched the rose color of my hair. I forgot what my body looked like without all these bruises.

Was my skin as pale as the rest of my body? Or was is much whiter? Did I have acne scars anywhere on my torso?

At this point I haven’t been able to go get my hair recolored so I have a bit of a root problem. I tied my hair in a ponytail and played with the hair around my face to try and hide the black roots a little bit.

"You better not be going back to sleep up there!" I heard my grandmother yell up to me.

"I'll be down in a few minutes. I'm just getting changed!" My voice wavered, yelling made my chest hurt. I'm sure I have a few bruised ribs.

"How am I supposed to find a job when I don't know where my father wants to live... There are so many different apartment buildings to choose from, and so many different districts near Itaewon." I spoke to myself as I looked through my suitcases for a nice set of clothes that would be appropriate for an interview.

I managed to find a nice pair of black dress pants, a white button up shirt and a grey blazer. I couldn't wear a light colored shirt without a jacket anymore... The bruises peeked through too much. I quickly got changed and put on a pair of simple black slip-on shoes to wear for the day. I headed downstairs with my purse hanging off my shoulder after pulling on my winter coat.

‘Maybe the slip on shoes won’t be enough for today… Aish… I can’t go all the way back upstairs though; grandma will criticize me. I’ll just suffer with these shoes I guess.’

"I'm heading out, going into town for a few hours. I'll be back later." I gave my father a quick peck on the cheek and walked towards the front door of the house.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" He asked.

"I'll get something while I'm out. I'm not hungry right now." I waved to him as I exited the house.

I shuttered, taking in a breath of chilled air, ‘It’s so cold today… I wonder how long I’ll have to walk today to get to job interviews.’ I thought to myself as I headed to the café that I had come to love while staying here. It's the café I came to on my first day here. The staff knows me quite well at this point, and they know my order as soon as I walk through the door.

It's nice that I can just sit down and they bring the order right to my table in the corner. I don't have to awkwardly stand in line.

I'm officially a regular.

I think even if I were to move to another area, I would still come here often. I feel safe here.

I feel like I'm finally away from my grandmother. Somewhere she won't look for me.

I sat at my corner table, and started going through my purse, looking for my everyday makeup products. My grandmother doesn't appreciate makeup, so I'm not allowed to wear it around her...

I quickly applied some cushion foundation, a little concealer, powder, blush, eyeliner and mascara. I may be from America, but I've always been told I do my makeup like a Korean. The minimalist approach.

Not to say that I never go full glam. Back in high-school I would go out with some of my friends and sneak into a nightclub every now and then. I would do all the girls’ makeup and hair, we would all go to my house right after school, listen to music, and get ready for a night out together.

_-_-_

Friday, September 4th, 2015

“Nari! It’s girls’ night remember!?” My friend Teagan came running up to me with two of our other friends right behind her. Clara and Kylie.

“Oh! I completely forgot. Ah… I don’t know if I can guys; I have a lot of homework this weekend… If we go out tonight I won’t have any motivation to get out of bed tomorrow and I have stuff to do Sunday.” I pursed my lips.

“We don’t have school Monday, its Labor Day. Also, it’s only the first week of school. How do you already have so much homework?” Kylie huffed. “I barely have any homework.”

“I’m in 4 AP classes.” I rolled my eyes. Kylie isn’t really one of my close friends. We never see eye to eye. But she’s Clara’s twin sister. I’ve known her since I was 5, so I put up with Kylie because I don’t want to offend Clara.

Teagan walked ahead of me and then turned around so that she was walking backwards. Her short, dark brown, corkscrew hair bounced as she walked, her olive skin seemed to glisten in the light of the sun. I envied her skin color, she looked so healthy. I’m extremely pale, even for an Asian, I’m really white. The cushion foundations that Korean beauty companies come out with are usually too dark for me, even if it’s the lightest shade. That’s how pale I am.

“Come on, you can blow off homework for one night to come out with the three of us.” She tugged on the sleeve of my blazer. We were all dressed in our private school uniforms. I always found it funny that I’m an Asian and I still attend a school where I’m forced to wear a uniform. You’d think I’d love the fact that I don’t have to attend a Korean school where everyone wears the same clothes. But nope! I live in America and I chose to go to a private school.

Teagan got in cause her mom paid for it, she’s a lawyer, makes banks. Clara and Kylie got in cause their dad is the headmaster. I got in because I knew Clara so her dad told me to take the entrance exam, and if I scored high enough he’d pay for my tuition.

I scored a 110 on the exam. The first 14-year-old to get a perfect score on the main exam, and get the bonus question correct.

Clara’s father welcomed me to the private school that year, and I was tossed into the land of the rich. Tuition for the school rivaled tuition for most high-end colleges. It was odd going from public schooling to private schooling. But Clara helped me get used to it, she had been going to private school for 3 years already.

“Fine, I’ll go out tonight…” I sighed, “I'll figure out my homework situation tomorrow.”

“Yay!” Clara ran up behind me and gave me a back hug as we walked. I'm the shortest of all of them. Standing at a mere 5’4 (163 ish cm), I feel so small next to them.

Clara and Kylie are around 5’6 (168 ish cm), Teagan is 5’9 (175 ish cm).

Clara and Kylie are your average American girls. Clara has long blonde wavy hair while Kylie’s is stick straight and about 4 inches shorter than Clara’s so that teachers can tell them apart. Both of them have stunning grey eyes. Like silver. Yeah, that’s a perfect way to explain them. Silver.

Grey sounds too dull compared to what they actually are. Silver sounds like their eyes shine in the light and reflect the stars in them or a really pretty simple wedding band. So rare.

Teagan’s eyes are like that really loved green sweater that you've worn and washed so many times that it's somewhat faded with time. Little specks of gold litter the area around her pupils like sprinkles on ice cream and the dark brown lining of her iris is like hot fudge surrounding them.

For me, my hair is naturally black/really dark brown, like every other Asian, but I've been dying it cool colors for a few years now. I've had dark purple, platinum blonde, mint green, neon pink, bright blue, right now I have rose gold hair though. I think it's my favorite color so far. I once did my hair to look like Hyuna’s in Roll Deep, you know, the teal with dark blue. Yup. That was awesome. It was recommended by Clara. 10/10 would do it again.

But as for my eyes, I get those from my American mom. Light brown, with specks of green in them. As opposed to the deep dark brown eyes my Asian father has.  Whenever a new person meets me for the first time, they automatically think I’m wearing contacts