Chapter 8

Catching Feelings

"Han Sora, wake up... Can you hear my voice?"


It was dark but I could hear Do Kyungsoo's voice echoing inside my head. I felt my body lifted up and carried with a bumpy walk of his. All I could hear were his pants, breaths, and beats inside the chest where I leaned my head onto. Once my body fell to a soft surfacase, I could see a bright light and that time I succeed opening my eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As soon as she came to her senses, I could see panic all over her face. She squeezed my hand and asking without patience,


"Do Kyungsoo, where are your parents?"
"They left. They went to the dent.."
"Why didn't you go with them? Hurry, there's still time to..."


I didn't know what happened to her, and what made her so panicked like that, but the same thing caused her to start dropping her tears. I grabbed her shoulder to keep her on the sofa, but she kept pushing me and urged me to go after my parents.


"Han Sora." 

I called her name with a loud voice, making her stop her moves and stay still, still shaken with tears flowing in her cheeks. Softly, I caressed her cheeks with both of my hand and wiped the tears with my thumbs. But that didn't stop the flowing from her eyes.

"They're coming back later."
"Who knows, Kyungsoo-ya? They're probably not. Like mine."

She started sobbing but tried hard to keep it, causing her to breath hardly. I never seen her weak like this. All this time I always think there's no feeling inside her because her lack of expressions, but then I realized that she is just like other girl with a fragile heart but always cover it with their strength and happiness on their face.

Except for her, who barely looks happy, nor feeling so. 

I hugged her instantly so she could lean her head at my shoulder and cried there. I felt sudden agony just from hearing her sobbing.

"Cry as much as you want, Han Sora. I won't let you go until you finish."

I hesitated at first, but then my hand went up to her back and soothed it to make her relax, just like what my mom had ever done to me when I was kid. From this position, I could smell her fragrance that came from her hair, and her spine. It's almost like vanilla with a light scent of rose. 

The next thing I knew, I could hear my own heartbeat in my ear. I gulped, wondering whether she could hear that as well.


She then pulled herself from me and stared at me with her swollen eyes for a while. Our face was so close, if I leaned forward, my nose would easily touch hers. But I held myself from the tense and payed attention to her who was dropping her gaze to her lap while speaking.

"They didn't left me. I did let them go."
She uttered words with husky voice and heavy breath.

"I prioritized hanging out with my friends rather than going out with them. I told them to go without me. It was me who sent them away."

"Now I can't take those words, they're gone forever, without me."

"So, Kyungsoo-ya don't do the same mistake, you should treasure your time with your family..."

She grabbed my hand and I use them to hold her hand back. Unsurprisingly, they were cold and shaking.

"It's okay, it's okay, Han Sora. I told you later if they have come back safely, okay?"

She looked upright to held back her tears, and she laughed after.

"I'm sorry I was being emotional."

She forced a smile on her sad face. It looked so contrary, but still had me stiff while looking at her.

"Gomawo, Han Sora. For telling me your story."

I told her with the warmest smile I could give her. I thanked her sincerely, because of what just happened. I believed she could accept the fact that I'm trying to befriend with her. Even if day by day, my heart developed a strange feeling I had never planned to have towards her, which I don't know what it is. Maybe because it's extremely comfortable to spend time with her, with her calm yet so thrilling personalities that I couldn't get enough of.

"Now, do you still want to come to the festival? Or we can watch movie while waiting my family come back home? I got a lot of them here."

She giggled at my question, knowing that I was just teasing her.

"Making a singer hold his nature to sing is a torture, isn't it?"
"Hmmm, I like to watch movies too, but I should say yes to your question."
"Then, I should hear your voice once."

I just remembered, she never heard me singing, because she never came to student festival before. She probably often heard me humming to songs at class or when we walked home together, but never been singing before.

"I'll sing for you then."

I told her as we stood up and going out together. I locked the door with her watching me and followed me diligently to the car. I opened the door for her and as we got into the car, I helped her with the seatbelt. I'm just trying to have manner to her, treating her properly so that she knew I am trying to thank her through my actions.

We arrived at school by the time people had already gathered in the auditorium. The decoration was good, with hippy theme, starting from the corridor to the auditorium. 


Hyunsik told me before to get ready in the backstage at 8.30, and it's 10 minutes from now. We didn't go near the stage to avoid the crowd, and enjoyed the other class dance performance form the backside of the crowd.


"It's not bad, is it?"
"Hmm yeah... Just like watching music concert."
"Like SHINee?"
"Yeah, but in amateur phase..."
"I'll show you a professional one later."
"Really? I'll look forward to it, Do Kyungsoo oppa."

Now she could make funny face again and forgot her sadness back then. I laughed at her reaction and flicked her forehead kiddingly for teasing me like that. She pretended like it hurt so much by soothing the same place with her fingers.

"Just try focus to my voice only, Han Sora."

I said as I told her to go to the backstage, just in case she would hear the filthy words coming out from people around her when I wasn't there. I knew even I never heard them calling her names, saying bad things about her, because I'd been close with her these past weeks. I drew myself from others and not hanging out with them as much as before, but she's not the only reason. It's also because of my training which I kept as a secret from anyone.

And she was there taking all the blame of my sudden asocial behavior towards my friends. I wished I was brave enough to say the truth, but it's too risky because no one knows wether I could debut or not. I would prefer protecting her and coming to anyone who bullied her instead. I'll never leave my eyes on her, without her knowing. 

Lim Hyunsik told me to rehearse one more time before we went upstage. He reminded us when to go solo or harmonize each other. He told me to be in charge of ment, because of my fame among juniors. I don't even know where they know me from, actually.

The first song was a fun song from 90's titled I Like You, and the second one is a western song, titled Open Arms. I personally liked those songs very much, not only because they matched my voice so well that I didn't put so much effort to sing, but also because of the lyrics were so beautiful.


The MCs signaled us to prepare because the next stage is our turn. They are our friends from other classes, the male one is my former classmate, and the female one is one of the gang members who bullied Sora before. I threw her a deadly glare as she was speaking, making her looking at the members except me while explaining the duration and the effect we wanted to give to the stage.

"Remember, it's only 10 minutes, please try not to expand the duration."
"Good luck, boys!"


As we went upstage, everybody screamed out loud and cheered us by calling our names. Back then, I always had stage fever before I performed, now I still had it, but in a better condition. I gulped as soon as I stood in position, looking at the mass which seemed more in numbers, than before when I came with Sora. My eyes kept searching for her position, and finally I could find her position on the most backward of the crowd. There's a quite distance between her and the others. She was there watching me and mouthing "Fighting," that made me smiled and charged to start the ment.


"Everybody, how are you? We're from 3-C class."

They answered loudly and made us hyped up more.


"Is there anyone who is falling in love right now? Because we will sing a song for those who are in love. Please join us singing to your loved ones if you know it."


The song was started with a light rap from my group partners, then we started singing happily. The crowd response was incredible, almost all of them sing along with us.


I was looking at her everytime I got a chance, but she was so shy that she often avoided meeting my eyes. It's enough even just to see her smiling all along.

When it's time to the end of the song, they gave a huge response with clapping loudly that we replied with bowing to them.


"Do you like it?"
They gave a solid answer just like the lyrics of the song "Niga joha!" which meant I like you, the performers.

"Ah.. gamsahamnida." And I burst into laughter hearing their answers.

"We will sing our last song," which made the crowd feeling unsatisfied of, 

"It's a kind of supportive song towards your loved ones. Now can you hold them with your arms while hearing to us singing?"

Some of the audience who came with their couple were starting to held each other arms in arms, while the others who were singles, protesting to me who they would hold in arms.


"Just holding the people next to you will do, kids" I teased them but they responded nicely by following what I told them.


Hyunsik gave signal to the crew that made the whole room gone dark.
The panic noise was calming after they heard the instruments played.


"Everyone, please use your handphone as lightstick. And follow my hand wave, okay?" Hyunsik told the audience which they followed easily.


"Lying beside you, here in the dark. Feeling your heart beat with mine. Softly you whisper, you're so sincere. How could our love be so blind?"

I looked at the place where she stood before, but she was there hiding in the dark. Light barely touched her figure, but I knew she would be there. Cause, I personally sing this song for her.

"So now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say. Here I am with open arms, 
.
.
.
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me."

 

As soon as we finished, we bowed to the audience and the lights were again.


"Thank you, every one. See you in another chance."


We rushed back to the backstage and the MC hurriedly went upstage. I slightly heard that we overlapped the time, but the crews were also busy praising our performance. We did our little celebration by praising and patting each other.
As for Hyunsik, he hugged me and patted my back very hard which I gave them back to him. 


"Kyung, we did it!"

"Yeah, it's because if you, Hyunsik-ah. Thank you for not giving up on me."

"You're being so jerk back then, pushing me off every time."

"Mian, it's just me having problems to manage time."

"I should thank Han Sora later."

"Yeah, of course. Ah by the way, I should check on her. She probably left the school by now."

"Are you sure there's nothing going on? Not even you date her?"

"What are you talking about?" I laughed clumsily answering his question.

"You can't lie to me. You like her, huh? It's all over your face, and your eyes went straight for her at the stage back then."

"Is it obvious? Ya! Keep this as secret. I don't want to make a scandal."


Even though I was kidding with him, I also said that truthfully. At least I know, I could share my story with very best friend, Hyunsik. He did have a right to have an honest answer from me. Since he only paid attention to me getting close with her.


"Just tell her, Kyung. You're Do Kyungsoo, who will not fall for you?"

"It's Han Sora."
I smiled bitterly.

"I have to get going now. Bye, Hyunsik-ah. Give me my share of the present!"

I shouted to him with a confidence that we would get the present of tonight's best performance.


"Sure! Good luck!"

 

I was half running to the place she stood up entire time, but I didn't found her. It was unsurprising, because she said she'd come just to watch me perform. I leisurely walked to go out of the auditorium to the corridor, then I found her walking slowly with her back facing me.

"Han Sora,"
I didn't wait until she responded to my call to run towards her.

"How was that?" I asked her as I was synchronizing my steps with hers.

"That... was not bad,"

"Wait a minute, not bad?" I rubbed my nose as I watched her expression seriously, but she was calm as hell. 

"Yeah... Excuse my standard. You know I listened to SHINee."

"Well... I listened to their album too. All of them."

"Then you know,"


Did she just hurt my feeling again? My pride this time. She just compared my singing with my sunbaenim... Yeah I knew there's still much things to improve, but this... isn't right. She should just said it was enough, or good, or she liked it. And I only got, not bad. I stopped there for a while, looking at her full of my disappointment.

"I got you."

She just teased me. She punched my shoulder and running after that.


"Ya! Come here!"


I chased her and took her hand, causing we bumped into each other.


We laughed instead and she roughly escaped from my arms while laughing out loud. There's she, showing another side of herself freely again in front of me. Making me fall even deeper for her.

"You should see your face. I thought you almost cry." She hardly said between her laughter.

"Then, are you happy if I'm crying? You seem extremely happy by now."


She cleared and put her hands on my arms.


"Aniyo... I was just telling you. However you heard that comment about your singing from others, just take that like a joke. Like what we did before. From now on, or in the future, Do Kyungsoo. Everybody at school knows you sing well, but there's more people out there."


"What about you? Answer me honestly."


"Hmmm, I think I don't have a capacity to say it's good or not, but personally I like it. Jinjja."


I knew she was joking before, but this time I sensed her serious words. What she said was true. So I thanked her sincerely for those beautiful words from her.

"Gomawo, Han Sora."

"Aniyo, gomawo, Do Kyungsoo."

She patted my shoulder softly and continued her walk. We went straight to my car to go home.


"I had a gift for you, Sora."

"What? What is it for?"

"For tonight."

"Ah... That's nothing. Keep them for you."

"Really? you'll regret saying that."

"Why?"

"Just check it yourself."


I gave her the paper bag I kept below my seat. She opened it carefully and shocked when she took out the things inside. Her Lucifer album which I borrowed last month with Onew's sign on it.


"How could you?"

"I asked my friend who is also Taemin's friend."


That's Kai, a guy I knew from Chanyeol before. He was not being good to me before, but then he knew I'm not that bad just because I stared at people weirdly.

"You like it?"

"Yes. Very much. Let's talk about your friend who is Taemin's friend too, can I meet him? Or have you ever met Taemin before? Wait... "

"A a a a a I don't wanna hear question about your fangirling stuff. Just play the DVD."


I made noise with my annoying voice and cover my ears when she bombed me with the questions. She pouted her lips then she opened the DVD Player and played the DVD. The screen showed it's track no. 01. But she changed it into her favorite one, Your Name.


"My prediction was right. Of course, this is your favorite."

"Yeah, because Onew-oppa made it."


I felt sudden jealousy because of how she called that name. I didn't realize I drove a little bit faster.


"Wow, slow down, Kyungsoo-ya. There's a red light ahead."


I responded her by singing the reff and slowing down the car speed. She was singing along too. Her voice was so soft and cute, not a practiced one of course, but it sounds like a serenade in my ears.


"Now, what's your favorite?"


I changed to the first track and start singing along. It is a really fun song, and honestly speaking, it suits her the best.


I kept singing and having fun on my own, but my eyes still focused on the road. Just as the song ended, I glanced at her, and I found her staring at me silently, with some shy smile on her face.


"I enjoyed that." She said with a big smile.

"There's one more DVD inside."

She chuckled when she found out another one. 


"What is this? Do Kyungsoo's With you?" 

"Ya! Don't laugh!"

"You even sign it just like an idol." She laughed at that, and making me embarrassed.

"Don't you like it? Because it's mine?"

"Aniyo... It's just funny. I thought you're not so into idol things. Since you like western more."

She was going to opened the DVD case when I screamed out leaving her in shock.

"Aniyo! Don't play it here. Play it later in your room."

"Aigoo, you surprised me."

I laughed at her trying to catch her breath because of my scream.

"Answer me honestly, Do Kyungsoo. Do you want to be a singer? Like an idol, perhaps? You have all the requirements I supposed."

"Hmm... honestly yes."

"Well, why don't you go for audition or something?"

"Hmmm..."


I already did. I'm a trainee at SM right now. 


I uttered the words through my eyes. Of course she couldn't hear that. I'm not ready for telling anyone this secret. I'll let them know if they realize it, but no one did. That's all because of my effort keeping them alone.


"Do you like it if I'm being an idol?" I asked her back. She just rolled her eyes and mumbled in her seat.

"I don't know if it were you."

"Ya! You are really..."


And we finally arrived in front of her street. But none of us having an idea to get out in a rush.


"Do Kyungsoo, gomawo."

"So, are we friend now?"

"Hmm...."

"Don't dare to say no, Han Sora."

"I'll think about it later."


She hurriedly get the DVD out of the player. When she had already undone the seatbelt, I prevented her to go out by locking the doors instantly after she tried to unlock it.


"I will keep you inside here before you agree to befriend with me."

"What's so special of being a friend?"

I questioned back her question through my eyes, just like usual.

"So, do you want something more than friend?"

"Just stay like this, Do Kyungsoo. I couldn't befriend anyone, or more than that."

"Why?"

"Because..."

"You still have that trauma?"

"That's only one of the reasons."

"I don't care about that. I want to befriend with present you. Not your past."

"Then you don't actually care about me."


She almost screamed when she uttered those words, leaving me widened my eyes so I could see her every expression. Once she realized, she suddenly shut up and massage her temple to calm her emotions.


"We, fight, again?" I asked myself almost as tensed up just because her unacknowledgement of my effort to be close with her.

"You..."

"Let's not talk again, Do Kyungsoo." 

 

She cut my words and that hurt my pride. I was staring at her in disbelief. But, I agreed to her suggestion instantly.


The sound of the doors unlocked broke our silence. She rushed going out of my car without saying anything. 


It really drove me crazy so I clenched my teeth suppressedthe building tense inside. I was angry of myself, wondering how I easily turned this night's beautiful moments into a breaking memory. I turned back my car with drift motion, so it made a recognizable sound when the wheels fricted with the road. I was getting ready to hit some 90, then I stupidly stopped there just to see her reaching her door.

But she didn't even try to look at my direction. She closed that door, and I felt so sick seeing it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And that's exactly what I had to do next. Closing mine.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
onlivia
Please leave comment on this chapter, readernim. I need some opinion to expand the story idea hehe thank you so much! ^^

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
capricorn0angel #1
Chapter 3: can't stand the cuteness...
capricorn0angel #2
Chapter 2: AWWWWWWWWWWW
capricorn0angel #3
Chapter 1: Hahaha interesting story... Nice author.... Sorry belum punya 10 karma to give an upvote :"""
Rainbow35 #4
Chapter 11: reading it real fast with the speed of light, ended up regret it cause it ends too fast.
laughed at the "China and Japan lense" line, iykwim XD

If I were to be Sora, I would tell Kyungsoo that I wouldnt be here much longer and be like "lets do this, Kyung" But then it maybe affect Kyungsoo so much, as trainee activities already stressed him that much
and if i were to be Kyungsoo, i would let Sora know the fact that I already aware that she wouldnt be here anymore shortly after graduation, and choose to spend time together happily, but then again, Sora must be so sad and angry (maybe) to her aunt and uncle, and probably she would starve herself just like the last time.
*Dilemma T_T*

You made such a good story, Author! Keep it up! :3
I will definitely sit patiently, waiting for the next chapter :p
Rainbow35 #5
Chapter 9: This chapter made me smile from ear to ear!!!
Cant wait for the next chapter!
Smyt99
#6
Chapter 6: Our dearest author <3 how can you write such a good story like this, keep us updated pleaseee:) saranghaeeee :*