" Ok. So. A bath for Lilee, a bath for Luhan and Teddy, a bath for Sehun and Jongin," Big brother Fanfan said once he'd hung up, and predictably Sehun interjected with

" I don't gotta bath. I'm clean already. See," 

There were many a snort in the room, at that exclamation. Sehun, my darling Sehun, love him though I did, was most certainly not clean. The child was rather.... well... dirty. I mean considering the amount of running, walking, fleeing and escaping we'd done in the last two days, that was kind of to be expected.

" You gotta bath kid," Big brother Fanfan said, somehow managing to keep a straight face, ( I have no idea how he managed that feat but he did,).

" Then you gotta bath," Sehun counter argued.

" Fine, I'll bath with you and Jongin," Big brother Fanfan said.

" And Zo?" Sehun suggested. I choked. Big brother Fanfan smirked and blushed then said

" Well yes, if Zo wants to take a bath with us..."

I was still choking, and Dean, having somehow managed to wrangle and wrestle out of Jinyoungs arms came a-rolling across the floor to me, then grabbed my cheeks in her hand and squished, hissing at me to 

" Breathe Zo!! Breathe!!"

I was trying. I truly was trying. But tell me how I was supposed to manage that one physiological function necessary for life, when my brain was currently screaming

ERROR!! ERROR!! SHUT DOWN IMMINENT!!

At this point, Teddy grinned then said, " So if Zo gets to bath with you, I wanna bath with you too," 

Luhan gasped and said, " the betrayal!! What about me?"

" You can join us if you want" Teddy said," right Sehun?"

Sehun nodded.

" Now that just doesn't seem fair," Jaebum sighed," I think I might have to join this bath party as well."

" Yeah me too," Mark sighed, " but if I go then Dean has to come with me. It wouldn't be a good bath without Dean."

Predictably Dean malfunctioned. She let go of my cheeks and turned to look at the boys, both of whom had somehow the perfected of looking sinfully innocent, she took a deep breath and immediately choked on it when Jaebum winked at her.

Lilee was giggling softly and Kyungsoo turned to her and said, "I don't know why you're laughing, you realise one of us is going to have to be with you the entire time you're taking your bath to make sure you don't drown?"

She stopped laughing and blinked.Kyungsoo turned to Minseok and said, " I'm nominating you."

Minseok shrugged and said, " I don't think I have enough muscle, I'm nominating Jackson,"

" Jackson's strong, this is true." Kyungsoo said nodding as he pondered the nomination. Jackson started to blush, then cough lightly as he tried not to set his face aflame from the blush creeping up it.

And then Jongin, bless his dear sweet innocent five year old soul asked the important questions, " but.. how are we all gonna fit?"

" Oh no," Big brother Fanfan said, " you're right.We can't all fit. So how about we go in groups. I'll go with you and Sehun and maybe Chanyeol can come with us. And then another group can go after that. We'll let Lilee go last so she can stay in the bath for as long as she needs without having to worry about anyone else going after her"

Sehun scowled and said," but I wanted to take a bath with Zo,"

"So did I bud," Big brother Fanfan replied with a sigh," tough luck yeah?"

He picked both Sehun and Jongin up and threw them over his shoulders, heading for the bathroom, Chanyeol right behind him with a bag of salt because he'd decided we may as well get doused in salt.What could it hurt you know. The man played dirty. And I had no idea what to do about it.

I just lay there in a daze. Dean couldn't even help me, because now that the children were out of earshot, the boys had decided they could say all the not pg things they had been trying not to say.

" So Dean," Kyungsoo smirked," take a bath with me? Please? Or at least just let me watch. I'll kneel on the floor like a good boy, do anything you tell me to. Pass you the soap with my mouth. Sure."

Dean hissed, I think it was supposed to be a squeal but got aborted.

" On your knees huh?" Jaebum hummed,"wouldn't have pegged you for the sort Soo,"

Kyungsoo shrugged," I'm pretty sure for the right woman, I'd happily wear a collar while I did it too."

" In that case, good pets probably need someone to keep them in line, and since the metaphorical mistress in question here would be trying to relax in her bath, I suppose I'll have to come with you" Jaebum sighed, " hold your leash so you can't run off and jump into the bath with her in your excitement. What do you think Dean?"

Dean was trying to breathe. Truly she was. But these boys were playing dirty.

And then Jackson turned to Lilee and said, " and really, playing piano up there?"

Lilee had the grace to blush, and laughed softly. Minseok smiled and said, " Mark has some nice Piano playing fingers. All nice and slim and long,"

It was all so very dangerously suggestive. And Lilee blinked, then snorted and said," first of all. I'm older than the whole lot of you. Second of all i'm pregnant. Third of all this conversation is highly inappropriate."

" Um.. I have questions. I feel like those two first points were incomplete. You're older than us aaaand...? You're pregnant soooo...?" Minseok said sitting up crossing his legs then helping Lilee sit up so she could lean against him, legs outstretched. Jackson rolled over and took her legs and started to massage the calves.

" I'm older than you so flattering as it is to pretend, I know you're not exactly salivating at the thought of seeing me , same goes for the pregnant," she sighed, " man that feels good."

" Lilee.." Minseok said.

" What.?"

" Two things, first, you're not allowed to slap me. I'm just trying to prove a point here. Secondly, that'sa load of bull. We young boys lust after older women all the time. And pregnancy is a whole kink unto itself.You can't tell me you don't know this."

" Uh.." 

As he spoke he casually pulled her closer into his lap, and lifted his hips a little.

" Uh... Minseok... is that an ?" she asked calmly.

" Yup," he said, "had one all night holding you. It's why Jinyoung and I ket tag teaming. I couldn't handle the arousal. Only then Jinyoung would get super aroused and have to tag me back in."

My eyes were bigger than saucers. My mouth was hanging open. Dean had her hands slapped over her face and was curled up on the floor in fetal position.We were officially broken. 

Teddy and Luhan were cackling far too hard to not be considered sadistic. 

" Th.. this is..." Lilee stuttered.

" Just proving a point is all," Minseok said, then he turned to Jackson and said, " If you try to take her into the bathroom, I will fight you."

Jackson held his hands up in surrender," please don't. I don't like violence. I'll let you torture yourself if that's what you want. You can take her into the bath. Besides," Jackson smirked and came over to whisper something in Minseoks ears.

" I ing hate you," Minseok growled," I'd threaten to kill you in your sleep except I'm smart enough to know I need you if we're going to make it out of this halloween apocalypse alive." 

" Now I'm just all kinds of curious," Teddy sighed, " I wonder what Jackson said to Minseok."

" Probably something about playing piano's" Kyungsoo offered.Neither Jackson responded with anything other than a cryptic smile.

All further adult conversation was tabled though because Big brother Fanfan, Chanyeol, Sehun and Jongin walked out of the bathroom. The kids were and giggled as they streaked across the room and jumped onto the couch. It was kind of cute. But then I made the mistake of looking up and Chanyeol and Yifan were standing there. . Almost . Practically . They had towels wrapped around their waists.I mean I get them not wanting to put those dirty clothes back on because yeah, now that we all thought about it, we were all filthy. 

I curled into fetal position right next to Dean and we both just stopped breathing.

" Why is she broken? I'm the only one allowed to break her," Big brother Fanfan said as he strode across the room and to the big laundry basket of clothes sitting on the bar, that we'd turned into a makeshift closet, and pulling two pairs of underwear for him and Chanyeol and two pairs for the kids. 

" I think you did break her," Jinyoung said, " Alright then who's next?"

" Luhan and Teddy," Jackson said, " Your dad said bathe them in salt right?"

Yifan nodded as he grabbed Sehun who was still giggling and trying to escape clothes. He held him still and slid him into a pair of superhero undies. Then pulled a t-shirt over his head, then pulled a pair of thick cotton sweatpants on him, socks then shoes, a sweater then a hoody that matched thesweat pants. While Chanyeol wrestled with Jongin. Both he and Chanyeol dressed in nothing more than snug fitting underwear. 

" Luhan," Jinyoung said, " think you can take care of business by yourself or do you think you'll need help?"

Luhan turned to Teddy and said, " I'm pretty sure I've got this, unless you'd prefer to go with the girls, but since you know I also need to get doused in salt, figured maybe we could just..."

Teddy shrugged," I'm cool. Come on Hero. Let's go get this out of the way,"

He and Teddy got up and hobbled their way to the bathroom. Jinyoung followed them announcing, " I'm coming with you to help with getting out of clothes and to make sure you put enough salt in there. I see your hero refusing to sit in the salt water because it's going to sting,"

" I hate that you know me so well," Luhan could be heard muttering as he closed the door to the bathroom. About two minutes later a pained groan was heard from the other side of the door. And then a slew of hissing. And then Jinyoung said

" Uh... Fanfan.Come in here for a second will you?"

Fanfan walked in and closed the door. He was by this point dressed in casual stretchy jeans and a t-shirt. Thank all the sweet candy. Because I don't think I could have handled another second of him in all his fineness.

He came out a half a minute later and grabbed the satphone.

" So...um... Luhan and Teddy are taking a salt bath right now. The water's foaming and... green." he said.

We all froze.

" Ok honey. That means that they have traces of demon toxin on them, so the green and foaming is good.But I'm going to need you to throw their clothes away, and then I'm going to need you to disinfect the room in salt water. Just wipe everything down in salt water to be on the safe side ok?"

" Ok, " Yifan said, " but mum?"

" Hmm?"

" They have a couple of open wounds and scrapes"

" That's fine the salt will make sure that the toxin doesn't go in. They can drink a glass of salt water when they're done. They might get the runs or throw up but that's also fine.Honey?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you're scared, but I'm proud of you for being as brave as you are. All of you. Your dad and I will find you. I promise."

" Thank you ma" he whispered softly and then he said," i'm gonna hang up to save the battery."

He hung up and headed for the bathroom to tell Luhan and Teddy what his mother had said.

Kyungsoo stood up and looked around the room, found a large bag and said, " everyone strips at the door, all our clothes that we're wearing now go in this bag. I'll salt it and we'll get rid of it."

Jaebum was also standing up. He looked around and found an icebucket behind the bar, that he filled with water from the sink in the bathroom, and poured like  half a bag of salt in. Then he grabbed a clean towel from behind the bar and started to wipe the doors, the walls, the bars. All the hard surfaces. 

" Jongin, Sehun and Chanyeol," Jaebum said, " once I've wiped down this side you guys should come sit here,"

It was very strategic.Clean folks after they took their salt baths sat on one side of the room while the rest got wiped down. Teddy and Luhan came hobbling out of the bathroom, faces pinched. 

Yifan was holding both of them up, and they had the towels that had been around Yifan and Chanyeols waist wrapped around their bodies.They were shaking, and they both looked like they might have been crying. I couldn't blame them. I don't want to think about just how much that salt going right into their wounds must have stung.

Yifan walked them over to the area that Jaebum had thoroughly disinfected, getting down on his hands and knees and wiping the floor clean, rubbing at the carpetting with the salted cloth. While Jinyoung scrubbed the bathroom clean for the next bath of users. 

" Girls I think you should go next," Jinyoung said coming to the door. So we did. Me and Dean. We were quick too. Me partially because I didn't want to be alone in that bathroom when all those strong men were on the other side of the door.Like what good was protection if I couldn't keep it with me all the time?

Dean because she was working on autopilot. She was a little bit terrified. Like we'd been carrying demon toxin with us.How terrifying was that.

" This is so ing unreal," she whispered as she scrubbed at her hair with some salt.

" I know," I whispered back, using the salt to scrub my body clean. 

Jinyoung knocked on the door and said," girls I'm coming in with the towels ok, I'll keep my eyes closed."

He did and we took them from him, then hurried to finish our bath and walked out to the clean area of the basement, where the clean clothes were.

Kyungsoo, Jackson and Jinyoung all went together.Jaebum insisted he go absolutely last so that he could clean the whole room. 

" I may as well get the whole room. It doesn't make sense for somebody else to possibly get contaminated when I'm the one that's been the most exposed right now," he argued when Yifan tried to help him.

Minseok went in with Lilee. They were in there for a while, which considering that they'd been instructed to soak for  at least half an hour made complete sense.

Had I been a fly on the wall I would have seen Minseok run the bath. Then strip both himself and Lilee, reaching out to dump their contaminated clothes in the bag by the bathroom door. Then he helped Lilee into the tub, and got in behind her.

" Lean against me," he offered, " and i'm not going to deny that my is going to be doing a happy dance back here, but that's not the only reason i'm doing this."

Lilee laughed softly and said," I should be upset about how inappropriate you are. But it's too flattering."

Minseok smiled and carefully pulled her back so her back was against his chest.

He washed her hair for her,gently pouring the water over her. He washed her all over, except for her girl parts and said, " I would, but I don't trust myself to be professional."

Lilee snorted softly. Then once they were clean and had been in there for about half an hour and a little bit, Minseok helped her out the tub, grabbed the antiseptic and carefully put it on her inner thighs. Then he wrapped her up in both towels since she was shivering and carried her out of the bathroom. . 

He was kind enough to warn of us of his state of undress by yelling out as he came out of the bathroom, " I'm !!"

Dean and I were slow to catch on and by the time we'd slapped our hands over our eyes we'd already caught an eyeful of the package.

Jaebum went last. Scrubbing down the last area of the basement and disinfecting it in salt before heading into the bathroom where he did the same.

We were all very clean and salty.

But if that's what it took to keep the demons from us. Then that's what we were gonna do.

I'd be salty hoe any day.